Committment Phobes?
- Thread starter Theo
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AstroQueen77
Well-Known Member
no..I would say that I am picky. It just takes one wrong choice to have a ruined life...
Cincysweetie
Well-Known Member
Team Gemini here too...(May 26!!)
I've come to realize that I'm not REALLY a commitment phobe. I will admit that it's hard for me to think of commitment at this time, but that's because my issue is that I have yet to meet someone who I feel it would be worthwhile to commit to. There are too many guys out there with too many issues and I've seen too much drama to be comfortable with settling for less just to say I'm committed. I'd rather keep my options open and see what's out there. If that makes me scared of commitment, then okay but I don't think so! I do believe that when I meet the right guy I will be open to commitment, it's just a matter of when the time (and guy) is right.
I've come to realize that I'm not REALLY a commitment phobe. I will admit that it's hard for me to think of commitment at this time, but that's because my issue is that I have yet to meet someone who I feel it would be worthwhile to commit to. There are too many guys out there with too many issues and I've seen too much drama to be comfortable with settling for less just to say I'm committed. I'd rather keep my options open and see what's out there. If that makes me scared of commitment, then okay but I don't think so! I do believe that when I meet the right guy I will be open to commitment, it's just a matter of when the time (and guy) is right.
tiara76
New Member
I used to be one...for a couple of reasons
one I didn't fully know myself.....all my past relationships have helped me grow tremendously to commit to somebody in the sense that most people tend to define commitment as would have stopped me in my tracks....
two...i had yet to come up with my own personal definition of what commitment was because it was not the same as majority of other people's definitions, because I witnessed more people seemingly being obligated rather than committed......and I always wondered how come that was.....I finally figured out where my internal conflict personally was within my heart...being obligated to somebody is not serving your spirit well and its not helping your personal well being or theirs...committed to them and yourself means having the best interest and well being of the person and yourself at heart on the deeper levels rather than surface levels....with so many people insecure in love because of not being in love with the self first we construct ways outside of ourselves to try "secure" it because when we don't feel it we are constantly trying to extract it from others and some of us use the term commitment in ways to obligate and secure others to them.....and we will stay in a relationship whether married or not that is not serving us, that makes us miserable, that is stifled and has people stuck and acting out in various different ways to cause more hurt than to cultivate more love because of our "commitment" ......
I can easily with no problem commit to love...unconditional love on the spiritual level...love means I let go when somebody wants to leave because if they are not happy with me I won't be happy with them, love means I go when I know that when im no longer serving myself for my highest well being there is no way possible I can be of service to another in their highest well being....that doesn't mean there is no effort to try to make things work, however when love is thriving it flows....thru the ups and downs it flows, we don't have to do anything but go with the flow together and the downs could be all sorts of various different situations that love will get them through with trust, forgiveness and faith that all negative circumstances provide the opportunity for the ups to be even higher ...so the downs don't make u want to bail out,just makes u want to go back up with that person....
when it gets to the point where things have to be forced or another has to be backed into a wall or threatened with some sort of punishment for wanting to leave and if they had THeir choice they would leave instead of choose to stay when they have the choice and freedom to leave...its time to let it go...if they are only stayin in order not to pay half, or pay child support or because they feel guilty and obligated or any other reason where it makes them feel bad to stay rather than full of life and love... its time to go ...
to keep that commitment of love to myself means i will keep it to others and always want what they want for themselves, no matter if what they want for themselves is "good" or "bad" for them..regardless its what they need for whatever reason or another..... and its not what i want for me because when i let go of what isn't working and they don't want to willingly and freely give to me then i open up myself to get it from somebody who is willing and they are free to seek what they feel they need...
so now I'm an advocate of commitment
a beautiful thing
i start with commiting to myself first
one I didn't fully know myself.....all my past relationships have helped me grow tremendously to commit to somebody in the sense that most people tend to define commitment as would have stopped me in my tracks....
two...i had yet to come up with my own personal definition of what commitment was because it was not the same as majority of other people's definitions, because I witnessed more people seemingly being obligated rather than committed......and I always wondered how come that was.....I finally figured out where my internal conflict personally was within my heart...being obligated to somebody is not serving your spirit well and its not helping your personal well being or theirs...committed to them and yourself means having the best interest and well being of the person and yourself at heart on the deeper levels rather than surface levels....with so many people insecure in love because of not being in love with the self first we construct ways outside of ourselves to try "secure" it because when we don't feel it we are constantly trying to extract it from others and some of us use the term commitment in ways to obligate and secure others to them.....and we will stay in a relationship whether married or not that is not serving us, that makes us miserable, that is stifled and has people stuck and acting out in various different ways to cause more hurt than to cultivate more love because of our "commitment" ......
I can easily with no problem commit to love...unconditional love on the spiritual level...love means I let go when somebody wants to leave because if they are not happy with me I won't be happy with them, love means I go when I know that when im no longer serving myself for my highest well being there is no way possible I can be of service to another in their highest well being....that doesn't mean there is no effort to try to make things work, however when love is thriving it flows....thru the ups and downs it flows, we don't have to do anything but go with the flow together and the downs could be all sorts of various different situations that love will get them through with trust, forgiveness and faith that all negative circumstances provide the opportunity for the ups to be even higher ...so the downs don't make u want to bail out,just makes u want to go back up with that person....
when it gets to the point where things have to be forced or another has to be backed into a wall or threatened with some sort of punishment for wanting to leave and if they had THeir choice they would leave instead of choose to stay when they have the choice and freedom to leave...its time to let it go...if they are only stayin in order not to pay half, or pay child support or because they feel guilty and obligated or any other reason where it makes them feel bad to stay rather than full of life and love... its time to go ...
to keep that commitment of love to myself means i will keep it to others and always want what they want for themselves, no matter if what they want for themselves is "good" or "bad" for them..regardless its what they need for whatever reason or another..... and its not what i want for me because when i let go of what isn't working and they don't want to willingly and freely give to me then i open up myself to get it from somebody who is willing and they are free to seek what they feel they need...
so now I'm an advocate of commitment
a beautiful thing
i start with commiting to myself first
Last edited:
AstroQueen77
Well-Known Member
the thing that I have an issue with is meeting guys that want commitment right away...I think it is harder for a woman to be "commitmentphobic" or picky. I just don't want to screw a guy over because he may at some point want more than I want to give...even if we established from the start that things will be casual. I may not want to commit right away, but I also don't want to hurt someone.
Duchesse
Well-Known Member
I'm terrified of committing to the wrong person, which leads me to be a tad bit overly picky...or quick to point out someones faults..My sister says I'm too quick to cut a brother off lol, I think I'm just "commitmentally" aware.
I see the Gemini tag, is that a Gemini trait?
I see the Gemini tag, is that a Gemini trait?
angenoir
Active Member
Me... exactly... I am soooooooooooooooo scared of committing to the wrong person.
Highly Favored8
Well-Known Member
I used to be that way.
jade998
Active Member
You guys are scaring me with this team gemini thing- I am a gemini (Although I don't believe in star signs, or follow them)
But I have a problem with trust, praying about that. And I am scared of making the wrong choice. And I am almost waiting for the other person to slip up.
I used to be the - guilty until proven innocent person
But I have a problem with trust, praying about that. And I am scared of making the wrong choice. And I am almost waiting for the other person to slip up.
I used to be the - guilty until proven innocent person
sky_blu
Well-Known Member
*raises hand* I am 
not just with relationships but with everything. To the point where it took me almost 3 years to renew my cell phone contract. But when Im in a relationship Im 100% faithful but it takes me awhile to get into the "relationship". I will wait as long as possible to get away with just hanging out and dating before we have the relationship talk and Im never the one to bring it up. My current guy brought up the "r" tonight while I quickly changed the subject Im trying to make progress though.
not just with relationships but with everything. To the point where it took me almost 3 years to renew my cell phone contract. But when Im in a relationship Im 100% faithful but it takes me awhile to get into the "relationship". I will wait as long as possible to get away with just hanging out and dating before we have the relationship talk and Im never the one to bring it up. My current guy brought up the "r" tonight while I quickly changed the subject Im trying to make progress though.
moonglowdiva
New Member
Yeah, I'm catching he!! with my commitment to pay my car payment
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