Can You Look Past The Past?

[DarkJoy]

It may be time for me to take a break from this board lol because certain trends are becoming bothersome to me. In this instance, this condescending attitude towards black, homosexual males.

I also find it interesting that many, many women can and do overlook several things about a man's past - financial blunders, prior infidelity, prior philandering, etc. And as someone mentioned up-thread - women somehow get a pass for their 'college days/experimenting', or it's okay for them to watch lesbian porn, etc. And that's alllll okay.

To answer the question - I have respect for any person who is honest about who they are and what they struggle(d) with. I can't say one way or the other what I'd do, because it greatly depends on the person and what they've shown me over the course of our interactions. But I can't see myself writing someone off because they had a different past that what is "traditional".

Now lemme log off for a while.. lol.

I agree the dpuble standard is terrible. However, im a walking bundle of contraductions. I dont think my mind could turn off images of my man being penetrated. So thats a negatory for me thanks.

 

[ladysaraii]

It may be time for me to take a break from this board lol because certain trends are becoming bothersome to me. In this instance, this condescending attitude towards black, homosexual males.

I also find it interesting that many, many women can and do overlook several things about a man's past - financial blunders, prior infidelity, prior philandering, etc. And as someone mentioned up-thread - women somehow get a pass for their 'college days/experimenting', or it's okay for them to watch lesbian porn, etc. And that's alllll okay.

To answer the question - I have respect for any person who is honest about who they are and what they struggle(d) with. I can't say one way or the other what I'd do, because it greatly depends on the person and what they've shown me over the course of our interactions. But I can't see myself writing someone off because they had a different past that what is "traditional".

Now lemme log off for a while.. lol.

There is a difference in condescension and preferences/standards.

I have no problem with gay men. However, I will not date one. Former or otherwise.

However, I put a man who was molested in a different category, provided he sought treatment.

 

[Shiks]

There are a few things that I can't possibly overlook in a man's past and homosexuality, dating white girls

You are hilarious. Dating white women is also a no go for me but that you have it in the same list as STDs cracks me up.

For me no. The complexities,his possibly having feelings for men again,hiding them,shame and resultant risky behavior..nah. I can't do it.

One of my friends tried dating women and he could not have sex with them. He kept saying he did not want to get a woman pregnant accidentally like his brother did. He hurt another friend of mine so bad that she has refused to date like it was her fault he was gay/confused whatever he was claiming at the time. It broke my heart when she asked me if I think he was dating her because she looked like a man.

 

[abcd09]

I do not think he would be living his authentic self.

Plus I would be suspicious of every male friend.

Last, I would be thinking of how many buttholes his mouth and phallus came into contact with and any little sex drive i may have would be extinguished.

this. knowing he is with me because he is afraid of hellfire and not because he truly desires me, why? why put myself and him htrough that? you'd catch him crying or depressed because of a lost love he can never have, or maybe he will grow to resent me because i represent an oppression on his true self.

No way. Setting yourself up for misery and aiding in the maintenance of his own misery.

 

[movingforward]

I knew a couple of men, in the church, that were gay then became straight. Only one continued the straight lifestyle, got married and have kids.

The others.....well let's just say they kept their gay "friends".

But I have a laundry list of "ex...." I wouldn't deal with.

Ex---
Cons
Gay/homosexual acts (or similiar)
after the Charlie Sheen thread - drug users/abusers/sellers
gang bangers