Can You Look Past The Past?

[PeaceLover]

So, I was on Facebook and I saw this video called "ex-homosexual" about a man who was giving his testimony about how he was delivered from homosexuality through Christ. He went into a lot of detail, but basically after all the years of feeling confused and embarrassed he gave his life to Christ and the first woman that here ever slept with was his wife.

My coworker (who is really Christian) and I was talking about it after we watched it and I told her that that's something that'll I'll never be able to get over. That's too much for me lol! What do y'all think? Would you be able to build a relationship/marry a man who has a homosexual past? I'm just curious about how many women are willing to look past that...I don't know any, but everyone is different. I know when people pray for things and God tells them to do something you're supposed to listen. If he leads you to a man with this type of past will you obey? We also discussed some scripture that were related.

I tried to find the exact like, but I couldn't because we were on her page. I'll try to find it on YouTube and post it.

 

[Godsdaughter001]

Hayle no. Never, never land.

 

[C@ssandr@]

No.

However, experimentation is one thing. Apparently some women do this in college and go on to be married to men. So why don't men get a pass?

Anyway, in this case, he sounds like a gay man in denial, so that's hell no. You cannot ungay yourself and I wouldn't yoke myself to someone who is struggling in that way.

 

[ThirdEyeBeauty]

Why not find a woman with a similar past and leave me alone.

 

[summertimewine]

Never. There are to many men with a non-gay past for me to choose from.
That's playing with fire IMO
I wouldn't be able to live down the shame of seeing him bring another man into my bed
Or if anyone I knew, knew he was gay. Smh

 

[fula97]

Would you be able to build a relationship/marry a man who has a homosexual past?

NOPE NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS.

 

[God_Favor]

It's not something I would be ok with.

 

[caribeandiva]

I'd be waiting for him to slip like:

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

Hypothetically speaking:
He comes to tell me this and I'd be like then then and finally . No amount of love could keep me with a man like that.

 

[Kimbosheart]

I couldnt but i know a few men who have looked past their wives lesbian past

 

[Ganjababy]

I do not think he would be living his authentic self.

Plus I would be suspicious of every male friend.

Last, I would be thinking of how many buttholes his mouth and phallus came into contact with and any little sex drive i may have would be extinguished.

 

[tapioca_pudding]

It may be time for me to take a break from this board lol because certain trends are becoming bothersome to me. In this instance, this condescending attitude towards black, homosexual males.

I also find it interesting that many, many women can and do overlook several things about a man's past - financial blunders, prior infidelity, prior philandering, etc. And as someone mentioned up-thread - women somehow get a pass for their 'college days/experimenting', or it's okay for them to watch lesbian porn, etc. And that's alllll okay.

To answer the question - I have respect for any person who is honest about who they are and what they struggle(d) with. I can't say one way or the other what I'd do, because it greatly depends on the person and what they've shown me over the course of our interactions. But I can't see myself writing someone off because they had a different past that what is "traditional".

Now lemme log off for a while.. lol.

 

[Mai Tai]

There are a few things that I can't possibly overlook in a man's past and homosexuality, dating white girls, STDs (both curable and non-curable), bad hygiene practices, and irresponsible sexual behavior are all on that list.

 

[CaraWalker]

uh, sexuality is not something that can be left in the past

 

[theRaven]

No. Your past is not just your past, it's an important aspect to consider. There is a few things I will look past but confused, experimenting, irresponsible, sexual histories is not one of them.

 

[lux10023]

the desire you have for a man..no way on this planet am i going to look past that- sorry

that is something that comes from within...bad credit you can fix...being over weight ok cool lets work on it together..etc


your sexuality which stems from who you innately desire..is a h#ll NO for me

 

[ChasingBliss]

the desire you have for a man..no way on this planet am i going to look past that- sorry

that is something that comes from within...bad credit you can fix...being over weight ok cool lets work on it together..etc


your sexuality which stems from who you innately desire..is a h#ll NO for me

DITTO!

 

[Oasis]

no and i feel horrible about my thoughts on the matter. i have a lot of gay family members that i love to death but the thought of two men together, physically, makes me ill. i'm a hypocrite because i don't feel the same way about lesbians (unless they're fat).

i would never be able to look at him the same way again. the image of him getting plowed would never leave my mind. i would see him on his knees every time i looked at him.

 

[Topsido]

Hanging with my friends to watch football will have a whole new meaning.

 

[TayMac]

No I don't want to be with someone that used to desire men. Doesn't mean I look down on them because I do not. Preferences are preferences.

I also wouldn't feel they were sincere.

 

[beingofserenity]

It may be time for me to take a break from this board lol because certain trends are becoming bothersome to me. In this instance, this condescending attitude towards black, homosexual males.

I also find it interesting that many, many women can and do overlook several things about a man's past - financial blunders, prior infidelity, prior philandering, etc. And as someone mentioned up-thread - women somehow get a pass for their 'college days/experimenting', or it's okay for them to watch lesbian porn, etc. And that's alllll okay.

To answer the question - I have respect for any person who is honest about who they are and what they struggle(d) with. I can't say one way or the other what I'd do, because it greatly depends on the person and what they've shown me over the course of our interactions. But I can't see myself writing someone off because they had a different past that what is "traditional".

Now lemme log off for a while.. lol.

Why do you have to be so thoughtful??

You're right, the double standard that we have for men who experiment with other men is not fair, but I just can't look past that. I immediately lose a measure of respect for men who sleep with other men and women.

Once, I dated a guy who told me that he had once experimented with another man. Those were my more liberal days, so I tried my best to look past it. But it weirded me out. Even now that he has a wife and a child, I still think of him as gay.

I don't want to deal with a bisexual man. And I would never believe that a man who was previously gay lost his gayness due to his faith in Christ. And I would be mortified if I was with him and he chose to share that testimony publicly. And the public shame would cause me to leave him.

 

[CaraWalker]

for me its not about it being gross, it's not about respect, it's not about thinking hes a liar or insincere. its really not even about whether you can become "un-gay." im just not about to deal with all that drama and baggage. i dont have time for somebody's complicated sexuality. other women are willing to deal with that, its one more obstacle i dont have time for.

 

[theRaven]

for me its not about it being gross, it's not about respect, it's not about thinking hes a liar or insincere. its really not even about whether you can become "un-gay." im just not about to deal with all that drama and baggage. i dont have time for somebody's complicated sexuality. other women are willing to deal with that, its one more obstacle i dont have time for.

Exactly . Well said, well said

 

[MizAvalon]

What in the world? Heck NO!

 

[luckiestdestiny]

No. How are you going to leave reality in the past? I am supposed to look past reality? I am not trying to embrace denial by marrying him.

 

[BackToMyRoots]

No.

 

[BlackRinse]

Yes. I could potentially look over it.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Nope, but I know someone who married a man who had been openly gay for years (lived with men). They have a few kids.

 

[okange76]

No for me because I would feel like I'm competing with his interest in men and I don't know how to work with that. With a woman, I could potentially try to be a better cook, better home maker, better dresser, awesome lover etc.

How do I compete with someone who makes love differently than I do? I don't have a penis so if that is what he liked, then I can't fulfil his needs . Sexual attraction never fully goes away. Too risky for me.

 

[ElizaBlue]

I don't think there is such a thing as "used to be gay". You could use to sleep with men and stop but your thoughts are your own and you will always be turned on by what is natural to you. I don't want a man who can show me that he can perform with both male and females...but chooses women now. His mind is still going to go to those places...and eventually what one thinks is who one becomes....something like that.