Can You Blame Her?
- Thread starter JFK
- Start date
Atthatday
Every knee shall bow...
Yes, and I don’t feel sorry for her.
While she was jet setting, driving her Porsche,
wasn’t cooking, busy drinking, shopping, etc., she could have had a career and her own money and/or saved her allowance, just in case her husband decided her fate.
Come on Sisters, we know what we’ve been taught on this board and in life: never put all of your eggs in one basket.
While she was jet setting, driving her Porsche,
wasn’t cooking, busy drinking, shopping, etc., she could have had a career and her own money and/or saved her allowance, just in case her husband decided her fate.
Come on Sisters, we know what we’ve been taught on this board and in life: never put all of your eggs in one basket.
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HairBarbie
Well-Known Member
She's a white woman living in new york, she should lose the weight and make her hair even blonder and find another successful man.
Yes I blame her to an extent, but she seems to be suffering from depression.
Yes I blame her to an extent, but she seems to be suffering from depression.
Everything Zen
Well-Known Member
Anonymous1
sliding under the radar
Her husband was wrong as hell. But this is a cautionary tale. If my husband was rich, I wouldn't work but I would definitely have my own rainy day fund for myself.
Atthatday
Every knee shall bow...
Why was the husband wrong?
Charmingchick1
Well-Known Member
I’m kinda torn. On the one hand, this is what happens when you depend on someone else for your livelihood, but it sounds like this is the arrangement they had. He would go out and make the money and she would stay home and maintain the home/take care of the kids. He didn’t hold up his end.
As a married couple, they should have discussed this before he just quit his job. They could have planned to downsize together, but actually I think their marriage was probably broken long before this. For all I know, they did discuss things, but couldn’t come to an agreement. Oh well. It happens. She should have been saving some of that money all along.
As a married couple, they should have discussed this before he just quit his job. They could have planned to downsize together, but actually I think their marriage was probably broken long before this. For all I know, they did discuss things, but couldn’t come to an agreement. Oh well. It happens. She should have been saving some of that money all along.
jerseyhaircare
Well-Known Member
Kinda connected. I had a patient that was very rich and fell into a deep depression when her husband died. He managed everything and she had no clue how to manage the finances or life-couldn't write a check, didn't know how much they had stocks/all the bank accounts, didn't know how to drive, didn't know the passwords for the online accounts, etc.
All that to say, women should not only save money, they should also know how the household finances work and where everything is hidden so they can manage on their own if the husband dies.
Anonymous1
sliding under the radar
He just decided to quit his job after his family had grown accustomed to that lifestyle. I hope he at least had a conversation with her about it. He went from making 700k a year to a fraction of that.
Everything Zen
Well-Known Member
PREACH!!! You literally had nothing planned for yourself to the point that you had to give your children to your husband and move back home with your parents?! The hayle?!
Also- I’m not here shaming SAHM but it’s called Plan B for a reason. You need to be able to have the means to take care of yourself AND your children- Period.
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Everything Zen
Well-Known Member
But is the husband broke though? Sounds like he’s financially stable enough to keep the kids.
jerseyhaircare
Well-Known Member
I just watched the video. She's an idiot. Yes, he quit his job but he owns a legal cannabis business. There's a lot of money in the business. She decided to leave him after he quit his job because the change in lifestyle. Instead of riding through the changes and helping him with his business, she walked away and left him with the kids. She started drinking and gained 150 lbs. She should be mad at herself.
Everything Zen
Well-Known Member
Exactly- she just wanted to blow through money and was more into the material possessions than her actual family.
Chromia
Well-Known Member
^^^ You're right about the money and material possessions.
Wow she's unrecognizable from what she looked like before.
I watched some more videos from the episode on YouTube. Her parents are enabling her. They gave her $12,000 and they said she's not looking for a job.
Also, 0:58 into this video: besides the 2 kids she has with her husband, she has 2 adult kids from a previous relationship and she goes out drinking with them. More enablers.
And her concern with material possessions - she mentions that her purse is a Tod's purse (nothing to do with the size of the purse, which is the reason that she brought up the purse).
More concern with material things at 0:50 into this video:
Dr. Phil: So look at this picture.
Her: That's Armani. (audience laughs)
Dr. Phil: I wasn't asking about the dress. I was asking about the woman in the dress.
Here her husband says that the reason he changed his career is because her drinking was out of control, she wasn't functioning as a mom, and he wanted to be there for the kids.
Wow she's unrecognizable from what she looked like before.
I watched some more videos from the episode on YouTube. Her parents are enabling her. They gave her $12,000 and they said she's not looking for a job.
Also, 0:58 into this video: besides the 2 kids she has with her husband, she has 2 adult kids from a previous relationship and she goes out drinking with them. More enablers.
And her concern with material possessions - she mentions that her purse is a Tod's purse (nothing to do with the size of the purse, which is the reason that she brought up the purse).
More concern with material things at 0:50 into this video:
Dr. Phil: So look at this picture.
Her: That's Armani. (audience laughs)
Dr. Phil: I wasn't asking about the dress. I was asking about the woman in the dress.
Here her husband says that the reason he changed his career is because her drinking was out of control, she wasn't functioning as a mom, and he wanted to be there for the kids.
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sarumoki
Epicurean Empress
Since he's still apparently able to support his kids, I don't think that the husband is wrong. My guess is that he probably went from $700k to the 100-200 range which is perfectly liveable. Yes, even in New York. Plus, what kind of conversation can you have with an alcoholic who doesn't take care of her kids or her house? She can't take care of herself, I doubt she was contributing anything useful to the home. He probably looked at her as another dependent to take care of which is why he didn't respect her enough to talk to her about his career change.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
I feel sorry for her. He totally flipped the script. But this is a lesson, and while folks are pushing women to marry rich, folks need to be pushing women how to get rich.
Anonymous1
sliding under the radar
From the clip, it seems like she turned back to drinking after he quit. When your income is reduced by more than 50% your lifestyle will change. $700k a year and $200k is a very significant difference when it comes to lifestyle.
ETA: just saw the clip with him saying he quit his job when her drinking was out of control and he needed to be there for his kids.....I change my stance then.....
Anonymous1
sliding under the radar
.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
I’m still watching, so she was an alcoholic and then he decided to go into a different business adventure? So she always had a problem and he started to make changes? I don’t understand what is going on.. I just know if anybody’s husband just up and quit their job, or took a huge pay cut, everybody would be tripping.
My original thought was why the hell didn't she have money socked away?! Men do what they want so I am never surprised when they do anything, but her?! It doesn't matter how much your man loves you or what perfect relationship you have, you need to always have something for you and your kids if things go left. And if my husband switched careers making less money (without talking to me and I was so unhappy that I wanted to leave) I would have been doing some numbers in my head figuring out how much money I could save quietly before I could get out. And if it so happened that the new business picked up and we were good, I win both ways. I get to keep my marriage and my life back and I have more money in the rainy day fund.
Now, the other videos say he changed careers because she was drinking too much? This is what happens to some people. With nothing to do and nothing to fulfill her, drinking was probably her thing. It sounds like she was the stereotypical white suburban house wife. Shopping all day and self medicating because she's empty. I didn't know they still existed. She should have gotten a hobby to curb that. In the end, I do not feel sorry for her because she didn't prepare herself for the unexpected.
Now, the other videos say he changed careers because she was drinking too much? This is what happens to some people. With nothing to do and nothing to fulfill her, drinking was probably her thing. It sounds like she was the stereotypical white suburban house wife. Shopping all day and self medicating because she's empty. I didn't know they still existed. She should have gotten a hobby to curb that. In the end, I do not feel sorry for her because she didn't prepare herself for the unexpected.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
Ya’ll see how nobody is talking about divorce.. lol they even had a lawyer on there. If he was to divorce her, she would clean his behind out.. they don’t wanna give her money, or assets.
I'm watching the other videos now and I just can't believe her. She's an alcoholic, period! That is why her marriage went sideways. Not because she lost her lifestyle. Her summary of events reads like she had a slight problem which got worse because of her sudden lifestyle change. His summary of events is that she was getting progressively worse and the lifestyle change probably wasn't sudden at all. I imagine long drawn out fights about money being thrown away on rehab visits, disappearing for hours on shopping trips and drinks with the girls and coming home realizing she forgot to pick up the kids again. I don't believe his actions were 100% children focused, though. I almost suspect it was so that he wouldn't have the extras to spend on her but still live comfortably. It was a way to cut her off without it hurting him too much. But desperate times call for desperate measures. This is a mess and she needs to take some responsibility for herself.
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Anonymous1
sliding under the radar
From the clip posted in post 19....he claimed her drinking had got out of control again. She admitted having a problem with drinking and going in and out of rehab
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
Yeah he is a Beta and PA and she is narcissist alcoholic. I just feel sorry for the kids. I don’t feel sorry for him, her, or her parents.
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