Can Naturals be sexy?

YoungWavey

YoungWavey

Well-Known Member
Not to have stones thrown at me but....as I'm about 7 months post and i plan to do the big chop next week. I feel i just want my hair to be chemical free and see my hair in its natural state. I don't know why i feel once I do the big chop. I'll feel I won't have my womanly feeling. I'll stop there. Has anyone every experience this before?:perplexed .......Please spare me with the negative comments thank you
 
I get what you are saying but the sexy is in you not your hair. I had the same hang-ups before my BC, then I realised that if I was sexy before, I could be sexy after. There's no specific 'sexy style'.
I'm sure you'll be phly :)
 
It sounds like you're more worried about the length of the hair than the texture?

In any case, YES naturals can be sexy. But sexy is an overall package and not just hair.
 
It's definitely something you'll have to get used to. You'll learn to embrace your texture, whatever that will be, and love it. I know from my personal experience as someone who wore their hair exclusively straight for over 20 years, it took alot of de-conditioning my definition of what is beautiful to me and on me. I realized that I based alot of what I thought looked good on me on the reactions of others, ( which you'll learn to truly let go of.) To be honest, after I bc'd I had to really dig deep to find that confidence that long straight hair had given me.

Once I couldn't rely on that, I had to accept myself as God made me, flaws, kinks and all. I remember being so self conscious I didn't want my husband to introduce me to anyone. Extreme I know, but very real feelings I once had. I equated my beauty to my long, straight, silky, hair and it wasn't even real! I've been a weave-o-holic since high school! I had to stay on Youtube HARD to get me through those feelings of doubt and I thank this site and all the others like it that strengthen and encourage us to reclaim OUR beauty. Now I rock my fro or puff OR a wig and since going through this time of growth, I know that none of it defines me. I am not a rollerset or a silky weave or a twist out. I know that if I had to shave it all off and wear it bald I would still be beautiful inside and out. There definitely was a time period for me that I had to grow into my new image.
 
I feel that yes they can be sexy but IA with the others its in your confidence and how you carry yourself. Naturals to me are new different sexy...the kind that says this my own style and I dont care what anyone else has to say I kno im a boss:grin:!!!! I frickin love it..
 
I think you're moreso hung up about the length of your hair after the BC than the texture...because a lot of people equate sexiness with longer hair so to speak. When I BC'd in 2003 I didnt feel sexy at all but thats becasue I knew I personally did not look good with hair that is too short, but it had to be done...probably because I had a young chubby face and had no clue about makeup and/or accessorizing...not to mention acne :nono:. I think now that Im older, have a clue about makeup and have 100% better skin I would be able to pull it off a lot better :yep:
 
I hear you; it wasn't a concern of mine until after I cut my hair. At least you're thinking ahead!

You can still be sexy, just pick styles and accessories to help you along.

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Yes!! So as long as you believe you are. If short hair is what you are worried about, try to adjust or get some braids to get you over the hump. I don't think its a matter of will natural hair make a woman sexy, but can the woman make natural hair sexy?

I also remember the feeling when I BC'd. And no one complimented me,lol. But I rocked and rolled with it. I did it for me, and that alone was enough to make me feel sexy in it.
 
Cutting your hair shouldn't negate from your sexiness overall. Sexiness is more than just hair. It's about the total package. Look at Halle Berry! She just has "it"! Elizabeth Taylor had "it". Lauren Hill, back in the day had "it". If you have never worn your hair short before or if you don't like your hair texture then you might have a mini life crisis. That's ok. That is normal! If your hair made you "feel" sexy then you are going to flip your lid because of the striking change. That's also ok.

Spend a lot of time looking at yourself in the mirror and focus on the other things about yourself that make you feel sexy. Emphasize those other characteristics and you won't even miss your old hair. lol. You'll be too busy feeling your self and loving your overall look.

Remember though that the sexiest thing on any person is confidence! That never goes out of style!
 
I would love to say I have felt sexy through my entire natural journey but naw, that wasn't how it was. And it wasn't about being natural, it was completely about length, it was more about the style and the way my face looked at a certain point. As a relaxed head I wore my hair very short so short wasn't new. But I really had to learn how to doctor different lengths.

When I shaved my head I felt fantastic. And I enjoyed the look until about 3". Then honestly at 3.5", me and that fro were not meshing. And there was no sexy feeling to it. Everytime I looked in the mirror I just didn't like it. During that phase I really had to do a lot of things to feel ok with the look. I dressed it up as much as possible and I tried as many styles as possible.

I can rock a lot of styles but some styles I just don't love. I wouldn't be afraid to BC because you might not like it. You may absolutely love it and enjoy the entire experience. No matter what you will learn a lot about yourself and you will learn how to make things work for you if you need to.
 
I BEG YOUR PARDON!!!??!!!! I AM SEXIER THAN A MUTHA*****!!!! lol

nah....i know what you mean.....it's kind of like the same feeling you get when you take out your weave....you feel that no one can see you like that!!! at least that's how i felt....then a year or so ago i decided to take the plunge and get rid of weaves...wigs...and ponytails....i decided for myself that i didn't wanna hide behind hair that isn't mine anymore...if i want long hair, i will grow it...(it was just sickening that i thought i was only pretty with some nice Indian lady's head on my head....nits and all...poor lady...hope it was a clean exchange...hope she was alive...)... in the mean time i will biuld a relationship and rapport with my hair...that's the only way you will truly LOVE your hair.....get to know it...you will be soooo glad that you did.....i can't even see myself wearin a wig or a weave anymore....now there are exceptions....when i wanna look a litte EXTRA just for fun....i'll were my TAMMY half wig by outre.....but that's if i go clubbin in LA or VEGAS....
woo...i am ramblin....but girl YOU gotta bring that sexy out in you! and if you feel your hair is hindering your sexy then do something about it....play with different styles in the mirror...youtube is your friend....
 
Hell Yeah!!!!!

I'm sexy no matter the length or texture of my hair.

ETA: Have you been looking at YouTube and other sites for style inspirations.

Check out natural sunshine. They have a picture section where members upload pics daily.

Also curly nikki. Maybe if you see other sexy, well put together natural ladies you can at least feel more comfortable with it yourself. Or at least fake til you make it.
 
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So what I'm understanding is you want to know if a TWA can be sexy? YES! I speak from personal experience.

I'm not going to front like I chopped off my hair and immediately felt like I was killin em, I had my doubts when I first looked in the mirror. However, I knew that if I carried myself like I was unsure of myself/my hair that other people would project that right back to me. I walked out of the salon like I KNEW I looked good, went and got my eyebrows done and bought some new earrings :yep:. I posted my pics here and got lots of encouragement which also helped.

Check out these videos for inspiration/ideas/encouragement :


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKziSULrArg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iR_EJUfzu0c&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/user/bambiix2#p/u/34/po2W0Ie_o2k

http://www.youtube.com/user/bambiix2#p/u/33/HYRDveJ4aWc
 
I see plenty of sexy natural and bald ladies. Like all the time. I'm like wow she is killing it or oh she is fierce.

But ima keep it 100, I don't think id be cute at all w say, a bald head or twa. I haven't experimeted w many natural styles at all yet, I'm just in wigs (kinky straight) for now. I plan to play around w some styles eventually to see what I like. For me, also part of it is not texture but more so thickness, my hair isn't very thick and I just see a lot of styles looking stringy/anorexic on me and I like full hair.

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I totally understand. I hated my TWA! It wasn't until i had more length that I felt...almost sexy lol


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Definitely. It all depends on your confidence and how you choose to wear it.

Amber Rose is what I find, quite sexy, even though she has a very very low fade.
 
One reason I have delayed my BC (among many) is because I feel like the rest of me has to be ultra sexy--eyebrows, make-up, accessories, clothes.* Don't get me wrong, there are some pretty people out there who look beautiful without really trying (at least ostensibly), but most of the "fierce" natural sista's I see are VERY FIERCE in all the other areas. I agree that it is all in how you carry it, but I think to get the "effect" you're looking for, you have to shore up your style to showcase the new look.
*ETA - Cause I got some work to do! :grin:
 
Head on over the tumblr. There are tons of sexy (long and short) haired naturals. My blog is in my siggie. Le Coil has a great tumblr too. There are countless others but I a lot have NSFW names.
 
Why not transition longer if you aren't sold on short hair? That's what I did. I transitioned for 2 1/2 yrs (ended up @ lil past SL). My first time natural I BC'd which left about 3" of hair. I loved it short but didn't enjoy the growing out process so I knew the 2nd time around I would grow out my relaxer as opposed to BC'ING.

To specifically answer your question, being or feeling sexy comes from the inside. I've even seen women where I didn't like anything they had on, hair, nothing and yet they exuded sex appeal. Can't have sex appeal without confidence. If you own your look and feel good about it/yourself, then you can be sexy regardless of what anyone else thinks!
 
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It sounds to me like you aren't asking if naturals can be sexy, but can you be sexy with short hair. I'm not natural (although I have been as an adult)...but if you fear that you will have these feelings, why not just continue with your transition? Although I do realize I am not my hair...I do prefer to wear it at LEAST at shoulder length to feel most attractive. Nothing wrong with that.
 
Oh yes of course. I am natural and I am sexy...I was relaxed and guess what..I was sexy then too :yep:

"Sexy" comes from within, healthy lifestyle, brain power, confidence, etc. You will be just fine OP.
 
i get what you're saying. I really loved my hair BUT I noticed a different response from men. This can be a problem for some women. Thankfully because I was in the hood I no longer had to deal with "yo, shawtaaaaay!" as often. :lol: I did receive a few "Hello, my African queen" :rolleyes: Keep in mind this was in a certain area and certain men.

I did miss the way my long hair framed my face because I have a long face so to be honest longer hair looks better on me. I only started to feel some kind of way 5 year AFTER i BC-d because of hair boredom which led me to this forum and to growing my fro longer. Oh and I feel sexier than ever :giggle:
 
I totally understand where you are coming from. I big chopped at 7 months post and as I sat in the barber's chair I thought I was going to cry. All I could think was what had I done. Then I got over it, because being sexy is about who you are as a person and not what your hair looks like. There have been days during this growing out process that my hair has looked like crap, but I put my make up and earrings on with a nice outfit and rocked it. I still received the compliments. What I have found is that on the days when you really aren't feeling it, put a little extra effort into other aspects of your appearance and you'll feel better about yourself. You can't tell me I'm not sexy and I'm nowhere near where I won't to be body wise or hair wise. It's just my mind set. "As you think, so shall you be." It only matters if you think you're sexy. Do what makes you happy, make the best of it, and rock it.
 
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