Can difference in religion be a deal breaker in the earlier stages?
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Miss AJ
New Member
It depends. Do you have children together or plan for children in the future? Have you talked about how you would want them to be raised? Many things play a factor on whether it can last or not, it's up to the people involved to answer this question.
ETA: To answer your thread title question though, yes it can be a deal breaker, a huge one for some people.
ETA: To answer your thread title question though, yes it can be a deal breaker, a huge one for some people.
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MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
Can the relationship survive? That depends on the people involved... if they truly accept and respect their religious differences, I don't see why not. I do feel, however, that it's 100% okay if either person wants to end things because of their differing views of religion and spirituality.
daydreem2876
carpe diem
If religion or lack there of is important to you, then yes it is a deal breaker and it should be in the early stages of a relationship. Religion or lack thereof is a major part of the backbone of your relationship. If you are firm in your beliefs, you already know the being equally yoked, however you define it, is important in a relationship. It does not make sense to get involved with someone who does not share your core beliefs, it can cause trouble and lead to heartbreak down the line. Understand, I am not passing judgement on believers or non-believers. My point is religion or lack thereof is one of those factors in a relationship that should not be compromised.
Starian
Well-Known Member
Homophobia has varying degrees of severity and is highly subjective. If he was like "Homosexuality is unnatural to me, I don't like the idea of it..." then eh...most people can work around that. If he is like "I hate f'ing fags, they are disgusting, they should die and burn in hell, d**k in the booty a** n***as are the cause of world hunger and war" then yeah, that's a deal breaker.
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kismettt
Well-Known Member
for me, absolutely.
ManeStreet
Well-Known Member
Starian said:
I agree....
It can definitely be a deal breaker.
Me and a man that I had been talking to decided to stop dating because he could not accept my religious views. He is a die-hard Christian and he wants a woman of the same caliber as him. I am very spiritual, but not religious, and I was very vocal about my spiritual beliefs and how I would not conform to becoming a Christian just to make him happy if we decided to build a relationship. For several months he tried to convince me that I needed to follow a new path based on his religious views, and it became frustrating to deal with him. He wanted to change me and mold me into this "perfect woman of God." Although he very much adores me this was a deal breaker for both of us, and we have remained friends.
Me and a man that I had been talking to decided to stop dating because he could not accept my religious views. He is a die-hard Christian and he wants a woman of the same caliber as him. I am very spiritual, but not religious, and I was very vocal about my spiritual beliefs and how I would not conform to becoming a Christian just to make him happy if we decided to build a relationship. For several months he tried to convince me that I needed to follow a new path based on his religious views, and it became frustrating to deal with him. He wanted to change me and mold me into this "perfect woman of God." Although he very much adores me this was a deal breaker for both of us, and we have remained friends.
StarScream35
Well-Known Member
Personally at this stage in my life, I think you can make any relationship work if you both put your heart into it.I know I might get stomped on for such a comment, but at this age and stage in my life and after turning down men who weren't the same religion as I am and finding myself single..................hayle no! You do you and I do me. If we can respect each other then fine, if we cannot then he can step!
RocStar
Well-Known Member
Yes, because most homophobic people I meet are down-low, gay experimenters themselves.
Cichelle
Well-Known Member
In my single days, if I found out someone I was dating was a fundamentalist, I would stop dating them immediately—as in me putting money on the table to pay my part of the bill and hailing a cab right outside the restaurant, never to be seen by them again.
Ok, maybe not so drastic. But I didn't go out with them anymore. It happened to me a couple of times. That is a deal breaker for me. This is particularly true when it involves people of what I consider "opposing" religions to my own, but I don't go for fundamentalists of my own religion either.
I would also stop dating people who showed themselves to be very socially conservative or who identified as Republicans. I am quite sure I helped them dodge a bullet by putting a screeching halt on the budding relationship. No one needs to be involved in relationship train wrecks. It is highly unlikely it would work out in the long run.
As you can guess, yes. It's a deal breaker.
Ok, maybe not so drastic. But I didn't go out with them anymore. It happened to me a couple of times. That is a deal breaker for me. This is particularly true when it involves people of what I consider "opposing" religions to my own, but I don't go for fundamentalists of my own religion either.
I would also stop dating people who showed themselves to be very socially conservative or who identified as Republicans. I am quite sure I helped them dodge a bullet by putting a screeching halt on the budding relationship. No one needs to be involved in relationship train wrecks. It is highly unlikely it would work out in the long run.
As you can guess, yes. It's a deal breaker.
LiftedUp
Well-Known Member
I won't date someone who is not Christian (actually only certain denominations I prefer to date, other denominations are case by case basis) and I won't date someone who supports homosexuality.
Yes they are deal breakers because it conflicts with my fundamental beliefs and values. It would in turn make me feel extremely hypocritical that I'm preaching one thing and practicing the other.
Yes they are deal breakers because it conflicts with my fundamental beliefs and values. It would in turn make me feel extremely hypocritical that I'm preaching one thing and practicing the other.
menina
Believing the book of Revelations
as said upthread, if two people can truly look accept eachother's differences, then it has a chance. it just depends on the people (who can change throughout life) and the spectrum of how devout/firm they are in their beliefs. i don't encourage it though.
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shortycocoa
Hair Weave Killer
Hey ladies...great thread...yes it's a dealbreaker especially if you aren't going to respectfully agree to disagree and maintain boundaries.
Homophobia is a dealbreaker also, for all the reasons everyone else stated and then some! I have discussed aspects of my personal life as it pertains to my sexuality and lack of religious beliefs here on LHCF quite often, so many of you know my story.
It always causes problems in my relationships. Now I am openly bisexual and becoming more openly Atheist as well.
It doesn't have to be a dealbreaker but sadly it is....I think it's because religion is such a sensitive, personal issue to some people.
Homophobia is a dealbreaker also, for all the reasons everyone else stated and then some! I have discussed aspects of my personal life as it pertains to my sexuality and lack of religious beliefs here on LHCF quite often, so many of you know my story.
It always causes problems in my relationships. Now I am openly bisexual and becoming more openly Atheist as well.
It doesn't have to be a dealbreaker but sadly it is....I think it's because religion is such a sensitive, personal issue to some people.
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menina
Believing the book of Revelations
not to offend BlueEra, but i wanna know what the bolded means to yall. whenever i hear it, i just think 'i'm a believer, but i just don't wanna follow a religion'.
i guess since i believe that one can be both spiritual and religious, it confuses me sometimes.
menina Well being spiritual and religious is synonymous, so many people think that way; however they are still separate concepts.
I believe in a higher being, but I'd prefer not to subscribe to any religious sect based on my own personal beliefs. I don't feel that one has to follow organized religion to have a close relationship with god.
I don't have a problem dating anyone who is religious, but there are people who I have come across --like this most recent guy-- who are not comfortable accepting my beliefs.
On anther note, in regards to homophobia, I will NOT date someone who is homophobic. That is one thing that I will not tolerate, regardless of your religious or spiritual beliefs.
I believe in a higher being, but I'd prefer not to subscribe to any religious sect based on my own personal beliefs. I don't feel that one has to follow organized religion to have a close relationship with god.
I don't have a problem dating anyone who is religious, but there are people who I have come across --like this most recent guy-- who are not comfortable accepting my beliefs.
On anther note, in regards to homophobia, I will NOT date someone who is homophobic. That is one thing that I will not tolerate, regardless of your religious or spiritual beliefs.
menina
Believing the book of Revelations
okie dokie thanks. so i wasn't too far off, lol.
Seraphina
Well-Known Member
For me, it probably would be.
Absolutely.
This guy is likely closeted himself.
Orchid1992
New Member
Depends on if you're looking to be serious.
Technically an agnostic person can be of any faith (monotheistic or polytheistic) or can just believe in a higher power so if you guys are both willing to be open-minded, the relationship can work.
For me, it is a deal breaker. I'm an atheist and will not be in a relationship with someone who is religious or an agnostic who believes in a god/higher power. We would butt heads all the time.
Homophobia is another deal breaker.
Technically an agnostic person can be of any faith (monotheistic or polytheistic) or can just believe in a higher power so if you guys are both willing to be open-minded, the relationship can work.
For me, it is a deal breaker. I'm an atheist and will not be in a relationship with someone who is religious or an agnostic who believes in a god/higher power. We would butt heads all the time.
Homophobia is another deal breaker.
firecracker
Well-Known Member
Deal breaker..................
ScorpioBeauty09
Well-Known Member
Religion is an iffy one with me. Ideally I don't believe it should be a deal breaker but I've dated guys where I thought it was best to end things because I could see a potential problem where neither of us are willing to compromise. Honestly it's less about my beliefs and more about the future--how I want to raise my future children.
I went on a date with one guy who claimed he was more spiritual than religious, but respected all traditions but when he asked me about my religion/spirituality and I told him my mother is Muslim and I grew up in an inter-faith family, it was as if I'd told him my mother was Satanic.
He wanted to know why she was Muslim 
and was almost offended when I told him my mother's faith was not up for discussion. Although he tried to cover and even asked me for a second date, the damage had been done.
Another guy was Christian and assumed I was too and on the first date was talking about his dad's church (Baptist I believe) and how everyone was expecting him to be a minister. He was also showing me tattoos on his leg about verses from the Gospel of Matthew or something. Anyway he too wanted a second date and I was willing to give him another chance but then I did some digging via Google and found that he is really into Christianity. Nothing wrong with it, I'm Catholic myself but I want to raise my children with exposure to all religions.
I went on a date with one guy who claimed he was more spiritual than religious, but respected all traditions but when he asked me about my religion/spirituality and I told him my mother is Muslim and I grew up in an inter-faith family, it was as if I'd told him my mother was Satanic.
He wanted to know why she was Muslim and was almost offended when I told him my mother's faith was not up for discussion. Although he tried to cover and even asked me for a second date, the damage had been done.Another guy was Christian and assumed I was too
and on the first date was talking about his dad's church (Baptist I believe) and how everyone was expecting him to be a minister. He was also showing me tattoos on his leg about verses from the Gospel of Matthew or something. Anyway he too wanted a second date and I was willing to give him another chance but then I did some digging via Google and found that he is really into Christianity. Nothing wrong with it, I'm Catholic myself but I want to raise my children with exposure to all religions.
yardyspice
Well-Known Member
Nope. It cannot work because there is no middle ground. It's not like an Lutheran dating a Baptist.
LunadeMiel
Well-Known Member
It's a dealbreaker. I would not date an atheist or someone who is ultra conservative.
LovelyNaps26
Well-Known Member
deal breaker. i'm a Christian and don't want someone to simply tolerate my beliefs. I want him to share key views. My younger sister gave a non religious guy a chance. After a year she realized that it really was a deal breaker. If either person is serious about their beliefs it will cause issues, if not during dating or even marriage often times when children come in the picture.
It doesn't have to be a dealbreaker, but in most cases, it will be. My SO is a devout Muslim and I was raised Baptist but currently do not practice any religion. We both respect each others' beliefs, have come to terms that we are not going to feel the same way about certain things, agree to disagree, and keep it moving. It helps that we were friends way before we started dating so we were already familiar with each others' beliefs.
Nice & Wavy
Well-Known Member
As a Christian who is married, I think it can be a deal breaker. The purpose of marriage is to come together in agreement as One and to have children, and that also includes praying for one another as well as together. Understanding that God is in the center of your relationship is very important...as a 3 cord strand, it cannot be easily broken.
It would be truly hard to be with someone and not agree. How can two walk together unless they agree? If it does work, there is compromise somewhere, and that's something I couldn't tolerate, cause what you compromise to keep, you can end up loosing.
It would be truly hard to be with someone and not agree. How can two walk together unless they agree? If it does work, there is compromise somewhere, and that's something I couldn't tolerate, cause what you compromise to keep, you can end up loosing.
Interesting thread. Normally I would have yes but I'm in a situation that is proving otherwise. I'm Christian. BF isn't. We have talked about our differences and he is more than open to going to church with me and learning more about God. His own identity is also very important to him. I will say that he is one of the first non-Christians I've dated and now he is my first serious bf. I'm waiting for marriage and he is the first man (after dating for years) who is in 100% support of my decision. The rest were "Christian" and some even went to church. They gave me such a hard time for waiting or stopped dating me bc we werent going to have sex. Idk what will happen with BF and I and not sure how our religious difference will play out. Either way, we are working on it.
Sent from my iPad using LHCF
Sent from my iPad using LHCF
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