Buns are a topic in my marriage

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kitamay

Member
My husband doesn't want to see me in another bun. I have pretty much gone from Sl to Apl hair since I have joined the forum. I just have one big problem. Buns are ruining my relationship. My husband is really tired of seeing me in them. He likes it when I wear my hair down, and thinks that my bun is just me being lazy and not wanting to do my hair anymore. I have already explained the reasoning behind it all, and at this point he doesn't care how long my hair is or gets. He just wants to see some style again. He doesn't like protective styles in a nutshell. Does anyone else have this problem? What should I do?
 
I've had this problem. How do you feel about getting a sew in? It's what I did. Protective style that has some length and sass. I've done half wigs too, but I was too tempted to use heat with them.
 
There are lots of protective styles you can do that are cute. Instead of doing a bun, you could pin your hair into an updo of some sort (and they look really good if you do a braid out or twist out first). Check youtube for videos.

You could also wear your hair out more often...and just adjust your regimen to make sure your ends are well moisturized.
 
Thanks, he's not a big fan of weaves and wigs. His thing is he doesn't get to run his fingers through my hair. He can do braids-I might have to save some money up to get some braids put in. They are so expensive though
 
I agree, maybe try some other styles. Or wear your hair down two or three days of the week and then a bun the other times. I think that's a good compromise.
 
My SO is the same way but the ONLY style he likes is when I wear it straight and out.

No buns, braidouts, weaves, braids or wigs of any kind for him.

Yeah, so you know we've got issues cause I LOVE braidouts and ponytails. I think he's coming around with the ponytails but everything else to him is just.....Blah:ohwell:
 
kitamay said:
Thanks, he's not a big fan of weaves and wigs. His thing is he doesn't get to run his fingers through my hair. He can do braids-I might have to save some money up to get some braids put in. They are so expensive though
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I know what you mena. My more "rich" friends be like girl get you some briads and I'm like "I'm broke!" I don't have extra money for anything these days. Shoot I had to just GO and buy a new wig because the one I wore I had to start cutting it shorter because of the raggedy ends just to have something decent to wear...crazy!

Anyway I think you should tell him, "look honey I know you love my hair being down and I know you love me but if you have to run your hands through my hair all the time I won't have anything to left ot run through". Tell him for special times you can let it down for him but that if he cared about your well-being he would allow you to wear your hair up to keep it healthy. Also let him know that you represent him and having dreadful busted hair that's been roughed up doesn't make you or him look good...also explore the different styles the ladies above mentioned so he can have some variety in his lovely wife. I personally think that the whole "hair" thing is not enough to make him leave you then if it is I would say pray for him, because there are more important issues for you two to fuss about. I hope you and he can come to an agreement. You may have to really sit down and talk with him about how you feel. Lord knows I've had to take the time to speak with my hubby about things that he and I didn't see eye to eye about.
 
You can sass up your buns and make them sexy. I found these on google

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braided-hair.jpg


I sport this one a lot FH loves it.

You can also do curls nice roller sets or spiral sets and braid out as suggested by MSA
 
Curly styles :yep: braidouts, twistouts, rollersets, etc

Spicing up your updos is a great idea too... I sometimes style my braidout/twistouts by pinning my hair up...

I am a fan of french braids too...
 
kitamay said:
Thanks, he's not a big fan of weaves and wigs. His thing is he doesn't get to run his fingers through my hair. He can do braids-I might have to save some money up to get some braids put in. They are so expensive though
Click to expand...

My husband had this complaint also. I use to let my hair down when I got home so that he could play in it. I believe in keeping your man happy through this growing process.:yep:

Now I'm not big on letting my hair down unless it's straightened. Thankfully he has watched me detangle and understand. I did let it down one night a couple of weeks ago :nono:, he had fun and I spent the next morning detangling for about 30 mins.:perplexed
 
i'm so sorry 4 u. i know that can b a difficult situation be/c we at lhcf know what you're trying to accomplish. try letting him read some of our posts and maybe that can help him unerstand a bit better why you are CHOOSING buns and Not being "just" lazy. maybe if he can see the reasoning behind it, he'll be a bit more open and patient with you while you accomplish your hair goals. best of luck!
 
Maybe you should come to a compromise. Do buns a few days of the week and then do other low-manipulation styles like rollersets or even braidouts. Buns are a great way to retain length but I don't think bunning 24/7 is the only way.
 
Do the Wanakee method. Bun during the week and let it down for the week-end. You will still get to great lengths wearing your hair down 2 to 3 days out of the week.
 
I understand! A coworker looked at my hair and said:nono: while she looked for her stylist number. I am getting a weave! Someday!:yep:
 
What is it with guys and ladies' buns (pun somewhat intended :grin:). My boyfriend told me he didn't care for buns either. He said it reminded him of librarians, lol. One day, however, I wore my bun lower and with my bangs out, and he said he liked that bun. If the way you wear your hair is posing a problem in your marriage, I would talk to him and ask him what he expects. Does he want you to wear your hair down all of the time, or just some of the time, like on special occasions? Maybe you guys can come to an agreement where both of you can be happy. I think it would make him feel good if you wore your hair in a way that he likes every now and again. It shows him that you love him and you want to look pretty for him. And since he loves you, I'm sure he wouldn't try to make you wear your hair in a way you're not comfortable with all of the time :).

PS. You'll still get good growth wearing it down on occasion. So relax, and let both your husband and you enjoy your hair ;).
 
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Bunning isn't the only way to reach long lengths. I went from SL to past APL wearing my hair out every, and I mean every single day. I washed, DC'd, rollersetted, and flat-ironed roots weekly and alternated between wrapping and pin-curling and covering with a scarf each night during the week.
 
Twist-out buns are more visually interesting to me. I'm starting to like my hair in a bun only if it's twisted-out first.


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