Bring the "Spark" back???

[Oneprettypa]

Ladies,
How do you manage to put the spark back into your relationships/ marriages when you start seeing each other as friends instead of lovers?

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[TamaraShaniece]

 

[ivyness]

Subscribing.

 

[ManeStreet]

take a vacation or lil weekend getaway together

 

[Fine 4s]

Take extra good care of yourself

Disappear

Vacation- somewhere different for shared mutual experience

Go out and let him see that you still got "it"

Be interesting - keep bettering yourself . He'll stay attracted

 

[Evolving78]

go out together! like go listen to some music or go out for dinner and dancing. make sure you look extra sexy and allow yourself to just have fun with your mate. remember why you feel in love in the first place!

make a nice dinner at home and get a couple of good movies. cuddle up with a big warm blanket and just get lost into each other.

take a shower together.

start flirting with him again.

 

[ThickHair]

Tell him how handsome and strong he is.

 

[Oneprettypa]

Thanks ladies! These are awesome ideas. Another one I saw else where that I may try is to go out with your hubby to a lounge or dinner place and act Luke you're just meeting for the first time... I think that will be fun along with some of your ideas.

I just love this forum and how we help each other! Thanks for the ideas and keep 'em coming!

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[StarScream35]

First and foremost, you need to talk about it to each other. Be tactful though, cause you know with women, our approach to our men is always about 80% to 90% wrong. Stroke his ego a bit. Take a walk down nostalgia lane with him and tell him how good he made you feel and when the juices get to flowin', tell him you guys should make it a point at least once a week to do something nostalgic.

 

[ms.mimi]

• Regular date night is a must. Especially when you start having children.
• Try different things just like you would if your were really dating. Ex a jazz set, roller skating, rock climbing, putt putt golf, the beach, wine tasting, a museum, book a hotel room for one night- try the spa- always sensual and relaxing,
• Make an effort to look nice at bedtime. You know what he likes.....
• Children must have a set bedtime so Daddy and I can have our bedtime.

 

[LivingInPeace]

This is one of my challenges now. After being together for thirteen years the butterflies make rare appearances. But when I do feel them it's because of what I do. For example, when we go out I feel better when I dress like I'm trying to impress a new man. Also, talking like you talk to a date, not about how the pipes are leaking in the basement or when we should replace the driveway. We always have a good time on date night because we make the effort to charm one another.

 

[Oneprettypa]

That's a really good point... A night out can easily be about work. I like that you guys make it a point to turn the charm on and talk about "date stuff." . Keep them coming!!! I have a marriage to save!

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[onejamifan]

I find interesting how there are mostly suggestions on how the woman needs to step up her game to make the man more attracted etc. What about the guys, what are your guys doing to keep YOU feeling connected, interested, attracted, etc.? I think DH is so used to me doing all the planning that he's forgotten how to woo me

 

[Oneprettypa]

I talked to my husband about that today actually. I had to remind him that he has to keep me attracted and turned on just like I have to do for him... He said ok but it seemed like it went in one ear and out the other.... I figure if I do my part it will (prayerfully) inspire him to do his~

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[spelmanlocks]

One thing that helps is DH and I is alternate planning date nights. Groupon is great for date nights, we have come up with a lot of stuff through there that I would have never thought of for example we recently took a painting class together.

Some other things we do are play video games together like Call of Duty or Gears of War, it really brings us closer. I think the thing to do is to find something that the other person enjoys and then share that with your spouse.

 

[Lita]

Try a date night..

Role play..Surprise him in a nice costume..Get a laugh & pleasure at the same time..It works....

Weekend retreat...

Go to the place,you both enjoyed when you was dateing....

 

[MizAvalon]

One thing that helps is DH and I is alternate planning date nights. Groupon is great for date nights, we have come up with a lot of stuff through there that I would have never thought of for example we recently took a painting class together.

Some other things we do are play video games together like Call of Duty or Gears of War, it really brings us closer. I think the thing to do is to find something that the other person enjoys and then share that with your spouse.

Agreed. Groupon and Living Social are great resources for interesting date night ideas that you might not necessarily think of on your own. FH and I have done wine tastings, museums, nice restaurants, etc. All at a discount through those sites. We are waiting for a hot air balloon deal to come back up again so we can do that.

We also make it a point to find things that the other is interested in so we can share them together. For example, he really enjoys guns so I go with him to the gun range so we can spend an afternoon together. I enjoy musical theater so he got us tickets to see Wicked even though he doesn't like musicals. It's just all about being together and spending time no matter what the activity is.

It's a lot of work to stay connected, especially when everyone is so busy with day to day life. But if you both make the effort, the rewards are really wonderful.

 

[Oneprettypa]

It's a lot of work to stay connected, especially when everyone is so busy with day to day life. But if you both make the effort, the rewards are really wonderful.

This is exactly right!!! I completely understand why people say marriage is a lot of work or like a job. Despite it being seven years I'm learning that everyday work and prayer is a must!!!

Thanks for the idea!! I haven't been on living social or groupon in ages!

So to ADD an element, my hubby and I are long distance while I finish PA school it makes bringing the SPARK back even MORE difficult! Not complaining, just venting

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[MsLizziA]

- Dont let him touch you at all while your on your period. Some, not all, jews make this a practice in their marriage because it takes access from each other for about 2 weeks where they can't touch each other at all, not even hold hands, not even HANDING each other.. no contact at all. Sleeping in different rooms as well. It grows the desire cuz yall get to see each other for 2 weeks but can't touch at all.. its like putting water in front a man that's been wandering in the desert and constantly putting it out his reach

- Disappear for awhile from each other's sight.
- Be more spontaneous and about things
- Do little "just because" things
- Open the front door in your birthday suit

Hey these are options..lol.. I've been in a relationship for 7 years,1 year separated, and we are stronger and more affectionate to each other than we have ever been