Breaking up...

[isawstars]

I like this thread. It helped me see the reasons why I should've broken up with my ex and why we should never get back together (for a 3rd time). I am definitely staying away from him now.

 

[CurlyMoo]

I didn't get it either...
I just thought he was angry that she had a 'stupid' looking face... hence the comment.

After reading it a few times I think she is saying the guy is ignorant, possibly has racial prejudice and a subconscious way showing he is NOT about to have an interracial marriage.

The newscaster is in an interracial marriage and took her husbands last name. The last name didn't match her face. JeterCrazed clearly being a Black woman was offended that her non-Black boyfriend would make a comment that shows he has some kind of racial problem with interracial marriages especially those that take the last name. Case in point, i.e. Shaniqua Eisenberg.

 

[celiabug]

there are sooo many reasons i should've broken it off, ignoring phone calls, disappearing for days, telling me no one would want me but him, but the final straw was finding out he cheated and had a baby by another woman. when he told me i stayed with him but ONLY because he owed me money lol. as soon as he gave me the money i left!

 

[Bnster]

One relationship didn't start as a long distance, but he left and went back to the states when he couldn't make ends meet. So many times he was to return back here etc to live and work. I got fed up, but how to break it off. So I started snooping, and gathering information and documenting/ cross checking what he was saying. So I caught him in lies, so once I was pleased that it wasn't my imagination, I broke it off, baby. Goodbye and no guilt. I couldn't be bother with him. I said oh it wasn't him, it was me, kind of sh*t.

He was cheating and having me as an idiot here waiting for him and I was so iffy about the whole damn relationship to begin with. It was my first relationship too. Ugh...

So I ended it when I confirmed the lies, which is sad, because it should have been earlier. I think now I shouldn't have to stick around to confirm my doubts because that just waste time. I am not getting any younger now.

 

[CarolinaGal]

*when you don't have a clue about his ultimate intentions for your relationship

Right. If a man doesn't clearly include me in his life, make me a priority, and explain his intentions...it might be time to bounce...

 

[FelaShrine]

Yes he put them in. I was the one who bought them but we kept them in the nightstand by his side of the bed. He probably did it while I was out running errands. I was looking for something else in the drawer when I found them. They looked kind of dry in the pack and the package looked deflated and that's what tipped me off.

When I confronted him, he didn't even try to deny it. Just kept saying he didn't see the point of waiting until after age 25 (he was 23 almost 24) to have a baby. Then tried to flip it on me like I was crazy for not wanting to have his baby at 22. I packed and left 2 days later. I don't think he was trying to trap me to stay with him, but he did seem to have a problem with me wanting to work and go to school. So maybe he was trying to trap me to the house.

This i why I let men know from the jump that I am pro-choice. I will not have anything forced on me. all these stories of entrapment are terrifying. so glad you left B_Phlyy

 

[ElegantPearl17]

Bumping.......

 

[vevster]

I tired after a year of hearing the same crap about not being sure etc etc. After a year? Plus he was critical and could be cruel.

 

[mochalocks]

This happen a few years ago. Finding out on MySpace.com that he had a girlfriend already, and she was having his baby in a month.

 

[PeaceFlow]

Well the last partner I broke up with..

I woke up one morning and realised I didn't deserve it. I felt there was nothing wrong with my personality. I felt stronger than I ever felt. Something changed. I refused to cry anymore. I actually still live in the same house as him (a year and a half later lol) and we're on friendly terms after the bitterness died. I didn't go back once, even through the 8 month sex drought. Don't look back!

Our basic personality differences became very clear towards the end of the relationship. Be aware when things are dragging out and just repeating themselves over and over. Release miserable relationships, learn from them and accept loving from someone more suitable.

 

[CarolinaGal]

Stagnation. He didn't clearly state his goals, objectives, and intentions in a reasonable amount of time and I'm too old to let someone waste my time. Either he wasn't ready to commit or I just wasn't the one. Either way, it was time to keep it moving.

 

[VK1K]

Well the last partner I broke up with..

I woke up one morning and realised I didn't deserve it. I felt there was nothing wrong with my personality. I felt stronger than I ever felt. Something changed. I refused to cry anymore. I actually still live in the same house as him (a year and a half later lol) and we're on friendly terms after the bitterness died. I didn't go back once, even through the 8 month sex drought. Don't look back!

Our basic personality differences became very clear towards the end of the relationship. Be aware when things are dragging out and just repeating themselves over and over. Release miserable relationships, learn from them and accept loving from someone more suitable.

Under the sane roof? Then? Now? Why? That had to be double the temptation.

 

[VK1K]

The first time I broke up with my bf was when he told me that:

1. He had cheated on his ex wife and never told her about it. But that if he cheated on me he would tell me........
2. He told me he didn't think he would get married again because he wasn't a 'one woman man'. Now why would you tell me that? I would be a fool to stay with someone who admitted outright that they cannot be with just one woman.

So we broke up, then 2 months later I got pregnant....we weren't even together. *sigh* A month after our baby was born we got back together thinking we should at least try to make it work. Then 3 months after that I went to visit him where he lives (out of state) and the trip was horrible. We argued the entire time, so we broke up again after that.

Example of going with your first gut instinct. Thanks for sharing, and hoping you and baby are well.

 

[VK1K]

Is it ok if i tell the story Of when I shouldve broke it off? With my college fiancé...

Well actually, he broke up with me. I was starting Preliminary wedding planning and he freaked out... Although HE was the one who wanted to get married by the next year. I was thinking of breaking it off then because his reaction proved he wasnt serious, a liar, weak willed and wasting my time and not someone i wanted to spend my life with. Warning number two was when he said "you can love more than one person, but a relationship is about who you can tolerate". Then i said you should find the one you love cuz i dont want to be tolerated my whole life. He said he did love me Then two months later he decided that yea, he was in love with his best (female) friend after all and thanks for teaching him how to love so he can love her the right way

With the BF before DH, I was in the police academy and he was still getting tickets and not paying and smoking weed. It seemed to get worse once he "knew" that I could prevent his arrest (umm no) and I just knew he would get me jammed up eventually. Add that to the fact that he just wasn't into me anymore and was being a jerk in other ways. It was painful but I'm so glad and proud that I had the strength to move on.

Man, was I a stupid doormat

You live and learn. I was told once that some lady wad out their preparing a man for me........so I guess someone will always put in the work and someone ELSE will get the benefit. When I think about it, it makes sense since each thing we go through is also molding us.

 

[BrickbyBrick]

When he turned to me in a room full of sports fans and said "who is Mike Tyson"? Now before the stoning, there had been a number of thing building up to this, namely our complete incompatibility.....outside of the bedroom.

 

[PeaceFlow]

Under the sane roof? Then? Now? Why? That had to be double the temptation.

Long story, mostly financial/health reasons and having no better options at the time (including family) till late last year. We live in a shared house where people have separate tenancies. Had another financial blow in January, so I'm still here. Thats just been sorted out so will prob be gone by July ish after exams.

He wants to stay in this house for the foreseeable future and I don't really see why I should move out until I'm in an OK situation if that makes sense.

Temptation wise there's been none whatsoever. When I break up with someone I don't want them in any way (romantic or sexual) anymore. Not sure why, but they get the cold shoulder

 

[VK1K]

Long story, mostly financial/health reasons and having no better options at the time (including family) till late last year. We live in a shared house where people have separate tenancies. Had another financial blow in January, so I'm still here. Thats just been sorted out so will prob be gone by July ish after exams.

He wants to stay in this house for the foreseeable future and I don't really see why I should move out until I'm in an OK situation if that makes sense.

Temptation wise there's been none whatsoever. When I break up with someone I don't want them in any way (romantic or sexual) anymore. Not sure why, but they get the cold shoulder

I can see that, when a women is fine she is done. Not to mention a guy always looks so different when you're over him. I get it. And I get looking out for you.

 

[Curlykale]

That sense of a loneliness that wasn't there before meeting that person, and knowing that it was only growing.

 

[Starronda]

I was starting to be a not so happy person when I was with him, and he also made my self-esteem of myself vanish. My ex was use to dating Spanish girls, so usually when we were out, he would see a cute Spanish girl and stare and damn near drool, or tell me how pretty the person was. Never saying how beautiful I was, he always wanted a compliment from me before he would even think about giving me one. Usually complaining to him that I love affection, and he never could grasp that, he always responded “well you could hug and kiss all over me too”..ummmm ok

Needless to say it only lasted 5 months. One day when I was leaving his house, I looked into his eyes saying good bye knowing that would be the last time I would see him. He did so much for me, so I think that obviously altered my judgment, but when it was over, there was no regrets, no looking back!