Breaking up...

proudofmynaps

proudofmynaps

Well-Known Member
What was the breaking point for those of you who dumped a boyfriend or fiance?

What did he do or say that made you say I can't do this anymore. Just curious.
 
he made an alarming comment a couple weeks prior to me breaking up with him about how he felt our relationship wasn't in the same place. i got worried at the time that he was trying to break up with me but he assured me that he was just trying to be open and honest with me about his emotions. i respected that but it wasn't enough for me and i just wasn't going to be an "in the meantime" girlfriend while he figured things out, so i broke up with him.

it was honestly a forced relationship on my part because i was not attracted to this guy and i just kinda gave in after years of him courting me. i don't regret it tho cause it taught me one of the biggest lessons of my life thus far, which is to not date a guy you're not attracted to cause you're going against your emotions and what you truly feel.
 
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When I realized I was crying more than I was smiling. Once I was able to admit that to myself, it was only a matter of time from there... :nono:
 
The first time I broke up with my bf was when he told me that:

1. He had cheated on his ex wife and never told her about it. But that if he cheated on me he would tell me........
2. He told me he didn't think he would get married again because he wasn't a 'one woman man'. Now why would you tell me that? I would be a fool to stay with someone who admitted outright that they cannot be with just one woman.

So we broke up, then 2 months later I got pregnant....we weren't even together. *sigh* A month after our baby was born we got back together thinking we should at least try to make it work. Then 3 months after that I went to visit him where he lives (out of state) and the trip was horrible. We argued the entire time, so we broke up again after that.
 
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mech said:
he made an alarming comment a couple weeks prior to me breaking up with him about how he felt our relationship wasn't in the same place. i got worried at the time that he was trying to break up with me but he assured me that he was just trying to be open and honest with me about his emotions. i respected that but it wasn't enough for me and i just wasn't going to be an "in the meantime" girlfriend while he figured things out, so i broke up with him.

it was honestly a forced relationship on my part because i was not attracted to this guy and i just kinda gave in after years of him courting me. i don't regret it tho cause it taught me one of the biggest lessons of my life thus far, which is to not date a guy you're not attracted to cause you're going against your emotions and what you truly feel.[/QUOTE]

:blush: OMG the bold is totally my last relationship. The straw that broke the camel's back was when he told me, 'I do the ish I do for you, not because I want to but because if I don't, no one else will.'


That ninja tried to break me and those words still haunt me sometimes today.
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Its something wrong with me. I can not dump people. I always do things to make them change their minds about me and let them leave first. I think i feel guilty.
 
Funny, DH and I were laughing about some of my crazy break up stories this morning.

One guy told me, after I found PANTIES tangled up in his sheets, that they belonged to his SISTER. You see, "what had happened was" his mom & sister spent the night and he let them use his bed.....blah blah blah and somehow his sister's panties got left in his sheets when she was packing up her bag to leave. No incest or anything. :lachen: I went home and never took his calls again.

Another ex was jealous of me. He was always trying to compete with my accomplishments and "one up" me instead of being supportive. I finally dumped him when he acted jealous of me dancing at a family party with his homosexual brother. I guess in his mind I was stealing away his brother?:perplexed His mom did like me better than him though:lachen:

He once invited me over (we had long since broken up) to his new apartment (finally left his mom's house) and it turned out to not be his place. Both people that lived there came home while I was over. :lachen: Same BS as when he was in college, he was a third person living with 2 roommates and mooching.

Years after we broke up he still did that crap, tried to impress me as if I cared. He called a few times about 2 years ago and he kept getting DH but would not leave a message, just his first name. When he finally caught me at home he wanted to brag about his week long trip to Fiji and some other work related stuff. I told him Fiji for a week sounded amazing and if he shared photos of his trip, I'd send him photos from our 3 week trip to Bora Bora, Manihi, Tahiti, Huahine, Moorea and Tahaa. He never sent the photos and he finally stopped calling. :lachen:

proudofmynaps said:
What was the breaking point for those of you who dumped a boyfriend or fiance?

What did he do or say that made you say I can't do this anymore. Just curious.
Click to expand...
 
I had to come back to this one... We had been dating on and off for almost 4 years. Mostly on, and the off's were always his doing. Breakups were always over something stupid, and I grew tired and weary. Last straw: We broke up last year for about a month. No contact, nothing. He apologize in a myriad of texts, and I forgave him. But I told myself, no more. If he pulls this ish again, I'm not going back. And he did, and I didn't. He had the audacity to tell me that he felt like he was lowering his standards to be with me. Seriously?? You?? Come on dude. He recanted this statement and all the other hurtful ones, and apologized. I said to him "I don't want you to have to lower your standards, so I don't feel we need to be together", he said "but what if my standards were too high?" I chuckled, and cried, and hung up. That was a waste of my time... smh
 
I ended my engagement when I found holes in the condoms after I told him I wanted to wait to have kids.
 
When my best friend died in a car accident. He was upset and jealous (yes jealous of a dead person) that I went home to mourn him and spend time with my family since my late best friend was a neighbor of ours. :nono:
 
B_Phlyy said:
I ended my engagement when I found holes in the condoms after I told him I wanted to wait to have kids.
Click to expand...

I need more deets than this...

HE poked holes in the condoms? How did you find out? Why did he do it? Did you call him on it? What did he say? Was he trying to trap you by getting you pregnant?

We go hard on these Innanets
 
jcsavestheday said:
I need more deets than this...

HE poked holes in the condoms? How did you find out? Why did he do it? Did you call him on it? What did he say? Was he trying to trap you by getting you pregnant?

We go hard on these Innanets
Click to expand...

:lachen: .........................
 
Is it ok if i tell the story Of when I shouldve broke it off? With my college fiancé...

Well actually, he broke up with me. I was starting Preliminary wedding planning and he freaked out... Although HE was the one who wanted to get married by the next year. I was thinking of breaking it off then because his reaction proved he wasnt serious, a liar, weak willed and wasting my time and not someone i wanted to spend my life with. Warning number two was when he said "you can love more than one person, but a relationship is about who you can tolerate". Then i said you should find the one you love cuz i dont want to be tolerated my whole life. He said he did love me :rolleyes: Then two months later he decided that yea, he was in love with his best (female) friend after all and thanks for teaching him how to love so he can love her the right way :rolleyes:

With the BF before DH, I was in the police academy and he was still getting tickets and not paying and smoking weed. It seemed to get worse once he "knew" that I could prevent his arrest (umm no) and I just knew he would get me jammed up eventually. Add that to the fact that he just wasn't into me anymore and was being a jerk in other ways. It was painful but I'm so glad and proud that I had the strength to move on.


Man, was I a stupid doormat :lol:
 
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Different guys-

When he told me that it was okay for him to date other women, but none of "his" women should date other men as he thought it would cause him to have bad luck. The nail landed on the coffin when he said that. The nail went into the coffin when I found out his ex was not actually is ex (bastid was still married).

Found out he liked to wear my dress after I forgot it at his house. He said it made him feel closer to me. Okay........

Found an empty condom wrapper on his bed. Had not been there a while so it was not mine.

Less than one minute wonder. This would have been okay if he was apologetic but dude was as arrogant and selfish hell. He was rich and accomplished. I think he thought his accomplishments made up for his lack of skills. It would have if he had shown some humility.

When he said that his kids were going to live with us after we got married.

When his cousin told a lie about me and he believed her. The fact that he believed her and not me made me dump him. When he realised she had lied he was so upset with himself and tried getting me back for years. When I got married he finally accepted that we would never get back together. He also eventually got married to someone else and had a baby and he was still talking about his big regret in life - losing me.
 
He hit my mental escape key when we were watching the news and the lady's name was Sue Singh, or something. Clearly, she was Chinese and married interculturally. He said, "She looks stupid."
I started plotting. Didn't even tell him I was leaving. He came home one Sunday to a half-empty apartment.

Sent from my Inspire HD using LHCF
 
I didn't feel like I was in a relationship anymore. He didn't try to work on the relationship.

I basically said the above in a text message. That's where our communication reached.
 
*when you are a worse version of yourself as a result of being with him
*when your confidence is going or gone
*when you're walking around wondering what's wrong with you
*when you don't have a clue about his ultimate intentions for your relationship
*when you would tell your homegirl to "get out" and criticize her for staying in a relationship like yours
 
When I finally had to stop pretending that the energy I was putting into salvaging the relationship had anything to do with wanting to be with him, and I had to admit that it was only about keeping up appearances and saving face.

Like someone else said, at some point you just realize that life is too short.
 
guyanesesista said:
Oh wow........
Click to expand...

Oh wow indeed. The funny thing is, I wasn't even mad so much as hurt. Like fool, did you NOT hear what I said.

jcsavestheday said:
I need more deets than this...

HE poked holes in the condoms? How did you find out? Why did he do it? Did you call him on it? What did he say? Was he trying to trap you by getting you pregnant?

We go hard on these Innanets
Click to expand...

Yes he put them in. I was the one who bought them but we kept them in the nightstand by his side of the bed. He probably did it while I was out running errands. I was looking for something else in the drawer when I found them. They looked kind of dry in the pack and the package looked deflated and that's what tipped me off.

When I confronted him, he didn't even try to deny it. Just kept saying he didn't see the point of waiting until after age 25 (he was 23 almost 24) to have a baby. Then tried to flip it on me like I was crazy for not wanting to have his baby at 22. I packed and left 2 days later. I don't think he was trying to trap me to stay with him, but he did seem to have a problem with me wanting to work and go to school. So maybe he was trying to trap me to the house.
 
When he told me that he can't see himself consistently monogamous with one woman for an extended amount of time.:nono:
 
JeterCrazed said:
He hit my mental escape key when we were watching the news and the lady's name was Sue Singh, or something. Clearly, she was Chinese and married interculturally. He said, "She looks stupid."
I started plotting. Didn't even tell him I was leaving. He came home one Sunday to a half-empty apartment.

Sent from my Inspire HD using LHCF
Click to expand...

JeterCrazed, i don't get it.:look:
 
proudofmynaps said:
What was the breaking point for those of you who dumped a boyfriend or fiance?

What did he do or say that made you say I can't do this anymore. Just curious.
Click to expand...

When we started spending less and less time together. :nono:
 
mech said:
it was honestly a forced relationship on my part because i was not attracted to this guy and i just kinda gave in after years of him courting me. i don't regret it tho cause it taught me one of the biggest lessons of my life thus far, which is to not date a guy you're not attracted to cause you're going against your emotions and what you truly feel.
Click to expand...

This was the case in my relationship too. It was miserable and I knew we weren't going to be together forever (even though he thought so). The VERY last straw for me was when he came home at around 2 am ish-faced drunk from a night out with friends. This happened 2-3 times a week and I hated it (I don't drink much and he was a jackass when he got drunk). He tried to have a ridiculous, drunken conversation with me where he was slurring his words, kept interrupting me, couldn't hold a train of thought, and was a little over-agressive.

He finally went to sleep and I remember thinking to myself how this was the loneliest moment of my life and it wasn't an isolated incident. I was more lonely at that moment than any of the times that I was actually alone. What added to that feeling was the next day when I confronted him about it and, of course, he didn't remember and tried to establish a rule that if he was intoxicated, I couldn't use anything he did or said against him.

I didn't break up with him that very moment, but I knew I would within the week at that point. I refused to be miserable anymore.
 
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