"Breaking up" because I touched his derriere

I would calmly tell him that it was an accident the second time and that I see it's a major problem but that I cannot promise to never make a mistake because I am not perfect, accidents happen, and well couples do actually touch, a lot, and good day sir, good luck and I bid you adieu.
 
Reverse TMI: There is a huge potential to really, r e a l l y, REALLY mess up on this whilst coloring. I mean, you'd practically have to think about NOT touching it the entire time :nono: Whether you stay with him or not, this is something he is going to need to address sooner or later. You can't go through life with a protective bubble on your arse. I wonder what's at the root of it all. Must be some type of trauma attached to it but at any rate, it's totally unfair of him to take it out on you.
 
briacait said:
I couldn't be with someone that I had to be on pins and needles around over something like this. It's not like you were trying to assault him. I agree that he could have been abused, but he needs to work through that issue before dating. I'm not trying to downplay whatever's going on with him, but something just doesn't sound right.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
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I couldn't agree more. There could definitely be some legit reason he's responding this way, but at the same time , his reactions make me uneasy and concerned for the OP.
 
Are you allowed to touch it while y'all are coloring or is it off limits then too? :look: Sorry, but I just don't understand his reaction. Has he never been on the subway, to the mall, in a crowded room or to a party or concert? Does he freak out if someone accidentally touches him then too? You can't go through life without people accidentally touching your butt. That is a fact! Not really, but butts get grazed every day so maybe one day it will be. :giggle:
 
Yeah....that would be a big problem for me. I'm a serious butt grabber!! My hands just gravitate to my SO's bootie without even thinking!
 
Hmmmm interesting...

I say this cause, I was with some one who reacted the same way when I touched his butt. I mean ish got real when it happened. And I didnt think of it then, but years later I assumed he was molested for other reasons and now that you all say this, it makes a lot of sense.


He also sounds like a lose canon, so jus keep your cat eye on him.
 
chronicity said:
Does the guy act touchy about other issues or is the butt hangup an isolated thing? Not that it matters, because there is no way I would recommend kicking it with someone who accuses you of disrespecting him over some minor unintentional contact. But I'm just curious about his overall personality.
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His feet are ugky so he doesnt like me to look at them, but that, we laugh about.

Fine 4s said:
I was just thinking this! Can you grab it during coloring?
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Haaayle no! :nono:

Briabiggles said:
Yeah....that would be a big problem for me. I'm a serious butt grabber!! My hands just gravitate to my SO's bootie without even thinking!
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I think I would be, too.
 
Im not sure if I coyld date someone like that. As my mother would say "think of the children!" Can you imagine hin raising sons?
 
Run. He is a control freak who will eventually became (even more) abusive. Everything will ALWAYS be your fault. Seriously. Run.
 
So what's gonna happen if/when you become intimate and you happen to stroke his bottom? He gonna fling you off or jump out of bed or yell at you?

Whether or not he was abused (sounds like he has deep issues which is sad), do you want to deal with that?
 
I feel sorry for him if he has issues but he needs to deal with them, or explain them rather than lashing out.

It's not like you were grabbing it either, just grazing the butt cheeks?

Sounds like trouble.
 
If you want to try and work it out with this man you need to let him know that you care for him and support him in resolving this, but that you aren't comfortable with how he reacts. If he balks, let him go. Unless he wants to disclose why the buttocks are off limit and then seek help for resolving that, why bother?
 
He might just not like you to be the initiator. I dated a guy like that I wold playfully brush up on his leg and he would give me the coldest stare. I realized he wanted to initiate all things playful and such. Basically it was on his terms. Turns out he was the biggest jerk ever.
 
He sounds like he was sexually abused. If you can't deal with it, then probably let it go. I know that I wouldn't be able to deal with it.
 
hopeful said:
I would calmly tell him that it was an accident the second time and that I see it's a major problem but that I cannot promise to never make a mistake because I am not perfect, accidents happen, and well couples do actually touch, a lot, and good day sir, good luck and I bid you adieu.
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:lachen::lachen::lachen::lol::lachen::lol: :lachen:
 
Maybe he doesn't want the implication of having to explain why a casual touch of his bum causes him to flagpole!

And if he was molested as a child, he could have his good and bad sexual feeling wires all crossed up. So being turned on by something he's not into is impossible to explain, thus must be avoided at all cost.
 
faithVA said:
You aren't crazy. Even if he had an issue, he isn't sharing the background story. Most men don't have an issue with their butt unless you try some in between the cheek action. I don't want to minimize how he feels about it just in case he was molested. But he also isn't handling it.

As far as taking this thread to seriously, I have a feeling this thread is going to be off the chain. So fasten your seat belt :lol:
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he would be extremely pissed off at me because i do love to touch my man's behind! this is crazy and he needs to give some type of back story, or get some therapy. i don't think i would have the patience to deal with that. there are so many other men that wouldn't have a problem with me grabbing their behind!
 
This is what it is these days with men? I just find that so odd. The butt thing and dude has feet issues too? He tells you not to look at them because he thinks they're ugly? I have no experience with a man like this... I have no experience with a self conscious man in regards to his body (unless it's simply needing to lose or gain a few pounds)...It would turn me off and affect my attraction level. But maybe he has other endearing qualities that make up for this...only you know. Glad it's not that serious though. Just seems weird I guess.
 
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