BOYFRIEND VS. BESTFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JuicesN'Berries]

MEREDITH ALL THE FRIGGIN WAY! Ive been down this raod and Ive done it both ways. Living with your boyfriend is a trap. Living with your best friend MAY change the relationship BUT I think its a better choice. Its better for you and I honestly think your boyfriend doesnt like the fact that there is someone out there that gets as much time as he does.

WOW!!! You said that just like her!! Yeah I guess I should take from some that has been in both situations. He is definitely jealous of her, he always says she comes first in everything I do.

 

[JuicesN'Berries]

Plus, he can't keep an eye on you while you are living with Meredith.

Yup!!!!! I

 

[sunnydaze]

First off, I luv luv luv the storyboard!

Secondly, I think your man may be jealous of your relationship. Maybe he is thinking its a matter of time before you and your bff go out somewhere and you meet a more exciting man..you think?

He could also just be one of those mildly controlling type men who want you to be all up under him all the time. Men say they don't want that, but they really do.

Either way, I'd choose the best friend to live with.

 

[UmSumayyah]

It looks and sounds to me like he is ready to be serious and you are not. It seems like you have different ideas of how people act when they are in a relationship.
Don't move in with him. If he breaks up with you it's probably the best thing for you both.

 

[sky_blu]

I cant even comment on the situation because I love the post with pics You two are having the time of your lives, maybe thats why he's jealous

 

[JuicesN'Berries]

I cant even comment on the situation because I love the post with pics You two are having the time of your lives, maybe thats why he's jealous

Thanks! You know we really are having the time of our lives!! its funny because we reminisce on nights that happen a week ago like they were years ago!! Every night is a new adventure for us seriously...

 

[Dee-Licious]

meredith

 

[Ayeshia]

Choose Meredith...the actions of your boyfriend is one of the reasons why i chose not to be in a relationship while I was at school. I do not feel like I should have to choose between my bf and my so. If he made me feel that way he is not the right person for me. The person I am seeing now has a lot of other activities and hobbies that he does in his spare time so he is not all up in my a$$ when I want to go and do other things that don't involve him. Same goes for me.

 

[JuicesN'Berries]

Choose Meredith...the actions of your boyfriend is one of the reasons why i chose not to be in a relationship while I was at school. I do not feel like I should have to choose between my bf and my so. If he made me feel that way he is not the right person for me. The person I am seeing now has a lot of other activities and hobbies that he does in his spare time so he is not all up in my a$$ when I want to go and do other things that don't involve him. Same goes for me.

Yeah you are so right.....He is in my @$$ wayyyy too much I don't think it would be that bad to live with him if he didn't act like that.

Than he has the nerve to get mad because I went to mexico with my friends for spring break......and now is mad because I already let him know that next year I'm gonna be gone again with my girls in Brazil Baby!!

Edited, to add that your hair is DA BOMB!

 

[Lucie]

All I can say is thank you for the visuals

Um, I think you need to rethink your relationship. If Meredith is not influencing you to do mischievous things, than he should not have a problem with her.

Also, that sends up a red flag for me. If he has a problem with her, than what next?

Meredith seems mad cool, so if he loves you he should respect your friendship. Move in with Meredith

 

[Integrity]

Lovely post. Made it easier to read

Men never seem to give up their friends for their ladies but expect us to do it all the time. So long as he is not married to you, I say live your life and move in with your friend if you want to!!!!!

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

first of all...your boyfriend is a cutie!!! Ok now down to the real business. You need to set ol' boy straight. You should have told him that moving in with him was not a good idea because yall aren't married and you dont want to live with a man before marriage because u feel like it would be a trap. Yall have 'semi talked' about moving in together...but has he talked at all about yalls future and getting married? well then, tell him to keep his trap shut until he gets to this point. Plus it's mighty hard to study and stay focused when you and ol boy are fighting and aint getting along. Now when it comes to ol' girl...yes it does look like yall know how to have a good ole time. Now u have to learn how to watch what you share with ol' boy. If you and Meredith went out and did some wild thangs...then maybe it wouldn't be wise to share the story with ol boy... because he's gonna get the impression that you would cross any boundary because you hanging with her. whiich is why he blames her for yalls wildness, when it isnt her fault. And as far as moving in with ol girl... u need to be verrrrrrry careful about this. It can ruin a friendship. I think it is a great idea to have a roommate if you are in school and want to save money, but it doesnt have to be your 'party buddy'. I would hate for yall to be incompatible and yalls friendship is ruined over it. Do yall have the same home habits? both neat freaks? quiet? respectful? or are yall on 2 differen levels? So bottom line is dont move in with ol boy, but think really long n hard about if ol girl would make a good roomie. The bottom line is if your plan is to go to grad school then this has to be your #1 priority...you have to be willing to let go of ol' boy if he can't fit into your plan.

 

[Poohbear]

Move in with Meredith!

By the way, I think you and James look great together! Cute couple!

 

[hothair]

Your man looks cute- your friend looks like fun. I say move in with your friend - your man will just have to deal. If there's no ring on your finger you shouldn't even be having the conversation - he should support whatever is best for YOU. If you could survive and graduate with Meredith as a friend I can't see how much of a bad influence she can be. Just my two pence

 

[zora]

If you are asking if you should move in with your BoyF or your BestF, my answer would be BestF. I say this because I believe that a person (girl or boy) should run the field and play (get wild, have fun, live life) until they are serious about making a commited step like moving in with a boyfriend.

If you guys are not thinking about marriage then IMO there really isn't a reason to move in together.

Don't put yourself in the situation of doing "married folk business" and fighting over "married folk issues" if your not married.

I'm saying this from personal experience, as I made no commitments to no one and stayed by myself until my now husband walked me down that isle. He did the same.

But this is based upon my belief. I think the only commitment one should have before marriage is to themselves. Then when the engagement/wedding ring comes out, then we can draw out the blueprints.

Room with the girl is my vote!

I hope I was helpful... .

I like her answer. Personally, I would not move in with either, but that's just me.

 

[Farida]

well, I think then it is a bit much to dump your friend of four years for a man you've been with a year and aren't too thrilled about. Move in with Meredith, and I guess he is insecure or really just despises Meredith. I've never had a man accuse me of being lesbian, well, maybe once and he didn't seem to mind (you know how dirty men are )

 

[BAP28]

THIS IS A TOUGH ONE..BECAUSE IF IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND AND HE WAS MOVING IN WITH ONE OF HIS FRIENDS THAT YOU DESPISED OR JUST DID NOT FEEL LIKE THEIR FRIENDSHIP WAS A GOOD THING THEN HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

TO ME THIS IS A TOUGH ONE BECAUSE BOTH PPL MEAN ALOT TO YOU...GOOD LUCK AND I HOPE THE DECISION MAKES BOTH PPL HAPPY...

 

[bLackButtaFly]

I feel what you're going through. It's a tough decision, but really that relationship may or maynot last, adn then you'd be stuck w/ finding another place to live if it doesn't. It might end up being way too muchs train for you guys to handle. I say move in w/ your best friend. I moved in with my good girlfriend after college, adn we have a great time 2gether. You're young it's not time yet, like you said you got alot mor efolling around to do, and if I might add alot more trouble to get into, th good kind.

And the lesbian thing...my ex used to say the same thing, but he was intrigued by it. When it really started toget under my skin I asked him, "wait, don't you have a male roommate?" end of discussion.

Oh and BTW LLOOOOVVEEE the picture book. You're bf is soo cute, and you look like you're having so much fun. Fun is awesome! Stay where the fun is!(this laugh guy looks a little crazy)

 

[gone_fishing]

I didn't read the entire thread so pardon me if I'm repeating anything someone else said.

Obviously, your boyfriend and your friend are very important to you. I am not going to tell you what to do but I will tell you what to consider.

What specifically (aside from your boyfriend's homophobic ummm...concerns) does he have regarding your behavior with Meredith in public. Is there any truth to them?

Do you act differently when you are around her?

Does she encourage you to do things which are not good for you?

Are you capable of having fun with her without a bar/club alcohol scene?

Is she supportive of your relationship or does she slyly try to compete for his time or talk bad about him to you.

Does your boyfriend have friends that he spends time with or does he rely heavily on you to be his companion/entertainment.

Is there anything you can do to assure you boyfriend that your behavior in public is ladylike or at least not whore-like?

When it really comes down to it if they made you choose, who is more important in your life?

If it weren't for the problems he has with Meredith, would you have any other reasons for not wanting to live with him?

Sorry...no answers...just a lot of questions.

I know sometimes women make the mistake of letting their girlfriends chitchat in their ears a bout our boyfriends when they don't have anybody. I'm all for girlpower but if you guys are "serious", you might have to pay more attention to what your boyfriend is telling you.

 

[antoine]

sorry you are going through such a situation. I have direct experience with this as my husband (soon to be ex) absolutely h-a-t-e-s my two best friends. One of us have been friends for about 15 years since we were 20 and the other since I was 9. Both were there for the birth of my son. He and I have been married for 8 years.

What you have to understand is this really isnt about Meridith, its about you. With all due respect to your relationship, its more likely about the amount of time you spend with Meridith combined with the bond that the two of you share.The type of bond that he can't compete with. If you dont believe me, start talking a whole lot about another friend and I bet he would have a problem with that person as well. In other words, its a control issue. These are signs that as women in our early stages of relationship, especially when we are young, really need to pay attention to. Any man who walks into your life and automatically "hates" your friends is basically saying that he is a better judge of who you should associate with, again a control issue. These things are called red flags.

My advice to you would be keep Meridith as your friend, move in with her and keep your independance. You are a young woman-give yourself a chance to breathe and see what type of man will be accepting of all of you. I would also advise that you keep how much you talk about Meridith to him to a minimum. There is no need to report your actions with your friends to him. In other words, set respectable boundaries. You are entitled to your life and your friends as you choose. Set the standard for the type of relationship you want - you should be just as involved in what this relationship evolves into.

Hope that helps.

 

[Integrity]

sorry you are going through such a situation. I have direct experience with this as my husband (soon to be ex) absolutely h-a-t-e-s my two best friends. One of us have been friends for about 15 years since we were 20 and the other since I was 9. Both were there for the birth of my son. He and I have been married for 8 years.

What you have to understand is this really isnt about Meridith, its about you. With all due respect to your relationship, its more likely about the amount of time you spend with Meridith combined with the bond that the two of you share.The type of bond that he can't compete with. If you dont believe me, start talking a whole lot about another friend and I bet he would have a problem with that person as well. In other words, its a control issue. These are signs that as women in our early stages of relationship, especially when we are young, really need to pay attention to. Any man who walks into your life and automatically "hates" your friends is basically saying that he is a better judge of who you should associate with, again a control issue. These things are called red flags.

My advice to you would be keep Meridith as your friend, move in with her and keep your independance. You are a young woman-give yourself a chance to breathe and see what type of man will be accepting of all of you. I would also advise that you keep how much you talk about Meridith to him to a minimum. There is no need to report your actions with your friends to him. In other words, set respectable boundaries. You are entitled to your life and your friends as you choose. Set the standard for the type of relationship you want - you should be just as involved in what this relationship evolves into.

Hope that helps.

 

[JuicesN'Berries]

I wanted to thank all of ya'll for your wonderful advice......I signed my lease with meredith yesterday.....

James took it surprisingly well although he is still weary about the situation. Thanks again.

 

[victorious]

I wanted to thank all of ya'll for your wonderful advice......I signed my lease with meredith yesterday.....

James took it surprisingly well although he is still weary about the situation. Thanks again.

That's great how it all worked out.