BOYFRIEND VS. BESTFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JuicesN'Berries]

Ok here is the story... I have a boyfriend that I have been with for over a year. We are happily in love.....for the most part....and spend almost all of our time together.

I also have a bestfriend named Meredith that I spend alot of time with, we like to go out and have a really really really good time!!! Our definition of a good time is going to the bar or a restaurant having some drinks...and meeting new and exciting people.

James, absolutely hates Meredith and the fact that we hang out. He acts like she is the Devil...and thinks that she influences me in a negative way.

He thinks that we go out get drunk, flirt with men and then go back home and flirt with each other.....So basically he thinks we have a thing for each other ....and everybody else.

Well the time has come for me to move and I must be out of my Apartment by...

8/9/2007​

Me and James have been semi-planning on moving in with each other, but now that it has gotten closer to the time I don't know if this is gonna be a good idea. This is my last year and college and I don't wanna get stuck.....if you know what I mean. I'm trying to go to grad school.​

So....Me and Meredith were talking about moving in with each other and we came to the conclusion that it would be a great idea. Our rent is would be dirt cheap and it would save both of us money.Well when I told James he absolutely bugged out!!!! He does not want me to live with her and claims that this will be the end of our relationship.

Me and Meredith both have been trying to call out to him and say James don't worry.....everythings gonna be ok........but he is set on the fact that we are wild party girls that we do anything and everything when we have a night out on the town.​

Well ladies I have to make a decison soon........I really don't think I can live with James. We will be arguing the first week....but I don't want to lose him either. This situation is really driving me crazy!!! ​

He is coming down here today from Alabama so we can talk over dinner about it......I don't know what to do.....I need help ladies.​

I hope you guys like my storybook. (It doesn't make any sense to be this bored!!) Nevertheless I had fun making it!!​

 

[bimbabe]

I am sorry you are in this predicament. I would say move in with Meredith because you are already uncomfortable with the idea of living with James for other reasons. He will either eventually come around OR play hard line and lose you. This may just be one of those life altering decisions where you lose a friend/ SO. But from personal experiences when guys do not like friends like that it is a way of trying to control what you do...who you hang out with. Just do you. IMO you should not have to "pick" and he should understand that.

I loved the pictures...you look like you are having a blast with both the SO and the bff!

 

[MzLady78]

Cute pics!

I don't understand why he's trippin'. I mean does he really think ya'll are foolin around. And where is he getting that idea from?

 

[Farida]

I enjoyed your storyboard. It is fun!!!!!!

Questions:
1. How long have you been friends with Meredith?

2. Be honest with yourself....is she a bad influence?

3. Have you, meredith and your man gone out together?

4. Who is that man all up in your breasts? Your man may have a point?


What I'll say for now before you answer those questions is either the man has a point and you don't see it, or he is head over heels with you and thinking of bigger things already. Usually when relationships get serious your friendships change. It may no longer be acceptable to go out and get drunk around other men. Perhaps you and Meredith can change how you hang out, or maybe he can come along when you drink. This is, if you want the relationship enough to sacrifice.

I dont think living with James is a good idea. Perhaps to keep the peace you might find a diff roommate altogether.

 

[kweenameena]

I don't have any advice as of yet. I can't get over the fact that you added pics to your story! LOL That was cute!

eta:Seems like James wasn't all the way wrong ...you two are some party girls fo sho!!! Looks like you and Meredith have a lot of fun!

 

[camellia]

I love the illustrated post.

If I were you I'd move in with my best friend, mostly because you already said you're hesitant to move in with your boyfriend.

 

[Honey6928215]

It's clear that your boyfriend is controlling. And he seems to have a problem with your bestfriend, Meredith. Men like that don't want you to have a life. Ask him how would he feels if you didn't want to hang around with his bestfriend you don't like? See they are going to have their reasons of why they are tight with his boys so they expect you to accept it. Just like he should except Meredith. It goes both ways.

And moving in with him will be a bad idea. He's going to be clocking your every move. Trust me you will become miserable. Remember this, men come and go but your friends will be there for you.

 

[Honey6928215]

Cute pics!

I don't understand why he's trippin'. I mean does he really think ya'll are foolin around. And where is he getting that idea from?

I was thinking the same thing.

 

[Seeking8Rights]

If you are asking if you should move in with your BoyF or your BestF, my answer would be BestF. I say this because I believe that a person (girl or boy) should run the field and play (get wild, have fun, live life) until they are serious about making a commited step like moving in with a boyfriend.

If you guys are not thinking about marriage then IMO there really isn't a reason to move in together.

Don't put yourself in the situation of doing "married folk business" and fighting over "married folk issues" if your not married.

I'm saying this from personal experience, as I made no commitments to no one and stayed by myself until my now husband walked me down that isle. He did the same.

But this is based upon my belief. I think the only commitment one should have before marriage is to themselves. Then when the engagement/wedding ring comes out, then we can draw out the blueprints.

Room with the girl is my vote!

I hope I was helpful... .

 

[bimbabe]

I agree with Honey completely.

Plus the pictures that people are querying don't mean a thing... JuicesNBerries is still in school! She and her friend are young and having fun.

 

[JuicesN'Berries]

kweenameena, Yeah we have alot of fun, but not like my boyfriend thinks...we are just extroverts that love life and people...Thats why we get along so well.

vivmaiko

Questions:
1. How long have you been friends with Meredith?
4 years

2. Be honest with yourself....is she a bad influence?
No actually she is a good influence, we always study together even though we go to two different schools. Not to mention we have deep intellectual conversations that enlighten us both.

3. Have you, meredith and your man gone out together?
Yeah, but it always ends up with him telling me its time to go home.


4. Who is that man all up in your breasts? Your man may have a point?
Thats my old manager, he is harmless. There actually was a little shrek doll in my boobies that he was kissing. I got it out of a happy meal....Man we had fun that night!!


MzLady78
Well we study alot together and alot of times I fall asleep over her house. He says there is no reason that we should be spending the night with each other....plus we complete each others sentences....something me and him don't do.

bimbabe
Yeah we have too much fun.....I'm gonna miss college.

 

[Honey6928215]

I agree with Honey completely.

Plus the pictures that people are querying don't mean a thing... JuicesNBerries is still in school! She and her friend are young and having fun.

And plus it seems like SO is in a rush to tie you down. Honey, don't get into a rush to move in with a man. Enjoy your youth. You only live once. If he don't like it then too damn bad! Move on!

 

[JuicesN'Berries]

And plus it seems like SO is in a rush to tie you down. Honey, don't get into a rush to move in with a man. Enjoy your youth. You only live once. If he don't like it then too damn bad! Move on!

Yeah Its almost over anyway (I'm really sad about it) I don't want to be a housewife my last year in college...I still got a lot of fool acting to do!!!

 

[SeatownSista]

I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say that I love how you included pics with your story! So cute!

 

[JuicesN'Berries]

I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say that I love you how you included pics with your story! So cute!

Thanks Girl, I thought ya'll would like that. When ya'll tell me stories I always want to know who you guys are talking about....what the scenery looks like and what have you. So I thought this would be fun even though I'm putting all my business out there...along with names and faces!!

 

[MzLady78]

MzLady78
Well we study alot together and alot of times I fall asleep over her house. He says there is no reason that we should be spending the night with each other....plus we complete each others sentences....something me and him don't do.

Are you serious? That's what he's basing that on?

Girl, move in with Meredith. I think you'd end up being miserable if you move in with James.

Also, I don't do well with ultimatums. If he's threatening to break up with you if you move in her, I don't know......I have some issues with that.

 

[CandiceC]

I remember your post about you finding your boyfriend boring. Maybe he thinks he'll lose you if you're out discovering new people with Meredith.

I say you move in with Meredith. You don't need to be tied down and having him clock your every move.

 

[Blackoutzangel05]

Wow that is a hard situation, especially when you love the man. But I would have to say move in with Meredith, if you are sure both of you can live together. I can not live with my best friend, we ended up just being friends after that. It sucks that James is being so hard on you with no reason for being that way. I could understand if you were out doing things but it seems you are just out having that young fun....after your talk with him I hope that things work out for you...

 

[Honey6928215]

Yeah Its almost over anyway (I'm really sad about it) I don't want to be a housewife my last year in college...I still got a lot of fool acting to do!!!

I have read somewhere that in your 20s that the time to learn more about yourself. Instead of rushing to settle down you need to spend more time with your self. I noticed a lot more people are settling down when they are in their 30's or early 40s.

So take your time. Have fun and travel the world.

 

[bimbabe]

Juice- does your SO attend your school as well?

I think it sounds like you know what you want to do...follow your heart.

I have so many friends at 21/22 who thought they would be with their college man forever- that was not the case. Do not limit your options too early AND get rid of a good friend (Meredith).

 

[bimbabe]

Also, I don't do well with ultimatums. If he's threatening to break up with you if you move in her, I don't know......I have some issues with that.

You know that is right MzLady...If you set up a test for me I will set up to fail it!!!

 

[MzLady78]

I have read somewhere that in your 20s that the time to learn more about yourself. Instead of rushing to settle down you need to spend more time with your self. I noticed a lot more people are settling down when they are in their 30's or early 40s.

So take your time. Have fun and travel the world.

Seriously!

If I could go back to my early 20s, I would do things so much differently. I was always so wrapped up in guys and relationships that I didn't really get to do me. Now I'm damn near 30 trying to make up for it!

 

[JuicesN'Berries]

yeah he is still boring too!! But he is trying....

I don't know what his deal is.....He doesn't like her for no reason....

Meredith really doesn't like him either, but its because she says he is a bore and he doesn't accentuate my good qualities, she thinks he is a good person but just not for me.

But yeah that boy is really controlling, thats why I don't want to put myself in that situation....and wind up homeless or on my friends couch. I rather us love each other from a distance.

 

[JuicesN'Berries]

Seriously!

If I could go back to my early 20s, I would do things so much differently. I was always so wrapped up in guys and relationships that I didn't really get to do me. Now I'm damn near 30 trying to make up for it!

shooot!! Its never to late girl....and now you probably appreciate it more.

 

[MzLady78]

shooot!! Its never to late girl....and now you probably appreciate it more.

True dat!!!

I'm about to act a damn fool, LOL!!!

 

[DeepBluSea]

I think it is a good idea to talk it over with your boyfriend. It sounds like he does not trust you at all. Does he have any reason not to trust you? Trust is one of the foundations of a good relationship. I would not move in with him. I don't know if you should break up with him, but the both of you still have some growing to do. Sometimes people grow apart.

 

[JuicesN'Berries]

I think it is a good idea to talk it over with your boyfriend. It sounds like he does not trust you at all. Does he have any reason not to trust you? Trust is one of the foundations of a good relationship. I would not move in with him. I don't know if you should break up with him, but the both of you still have some growing to do. Sometimes people grow apart.

I don't know why he doesn't trust me I guess because I have alot of male friends....but I have alot of female friends as well. But your right we both have alot of growing up to do we are both only 22

 

[nu_nu_2002]

MEREDITH ALL THE FRIGGIN WAY! Ive been down this raod and Ive done it both ways. Living with your boyfriend is a trap. Living with your best friend MAY change the relationship BUT I think its a better choice. Its better for you and I honestly think your boyfriend doesnt like the fact that there is someone out there that gets as much time as he does.

 

[Honey6928215]

MEREDITH ALL THE FRIGGIN WAY! Ive been down this raod and Ive done it both ways. Living with your boyfriend is a trap. Living with your best friend MAY change the relationship BUT I think its a better choice. Its better for you and I honestly think your boyfriend doesnt like the fact that there is someone out there that gets as much time as he does.

Plus, he can't keep an eye on you while you are living with Meredith.

 

[nu_nu_2002]

yeah he is still boring too!! But he is trying....

I don't know what his deal is.....He doesn't like her for no reason....

Meredith really doesn't like him either, but its because she says he is a bore and he doesn't accentuate my good qualities, she thinks he is a good person but just not for me.

But yeah that boy is really controlling, thats why I don't want to put myself in that situation....and wind up homeless or on my friends couch. I rather us love each other from a distance.

Well there's your answer. Trust me if he really loves you he wont let you moving in with yoru best friend end the relationship.