Black hair doesn't grow

[CurleeDST]

I had the strangest conversation with one of my org's VPs today. First our VP is a white male with a house full of women (1 wife, 4 daughters). They also keep their neighbor's 2 daughters (African American) since the parents were going through some difficult times.

I knew he was taking care of these girls and I asked how they were doing and if his wife learned how to cornrow (he asked me about it months ago when they first got the AA girls). He said she did and knows how to do their hair and we started talking about men of all races not knowing how to put their daughter's hair in a pony tail. Well then he says one of the other little ones cut a section of the black girl's hair and that was 6 months ago and she still had a bald patch. Then he says, "well we wall know black hair doesn't grow, it would take 4 years for their hair to grow to the shoulders, etc."

I then told him well my hair grows, and someone else chimes in "well you know you aren't a real black". This person is from Trinidad. I was very surprised he even stated that. The person who made the comment about me said it in jest.

What would you have said to the VP?

 

[wish4length]

My NATURAL reaction would have been
"You're absolutely right! Black hair doesn't grow, especially with 2 ignorant white folks doing the child's head."

But I would've held my tongue & explained that black hair does grow, its just so easy to break off, so you have to be extremely careful and lack of proper care will make the hair appear as if it were not growing,
You know, stuff we here at LHCF with common sense already know.

 

[newflowers]

Maybe you can make a few simple suggestions for him to give to his wife (presuming she's the one who's taking care of the girls). I question the six months and still a bald spot - that sounds like some other injury.

 

[tnorenberg]

I would have kindly given him this site's address and said his wife would be very interested in AA hair care techniques. It sounds like the Trini sister was mocking his ignorance.

 

[Tybi]

But I would've held my tongue & explained that black hair does grow, its just so easy to break off, so you have to be extremely careful and lack of proper care will make the hair appear as if it were not growing,
You know, stuff we here at LHCF with common sense already know.

I would have said the same. The ignorance some people express is just mind boggling. And I am about SICK of comments like that. Even when people of other races try to complement, I find that they have an underlying insult in there as well, even if they don't mean to.

Next time he and Mr. Trinidad start talking about hair, I would either leave the room or turn my back so they know I am not listening and do not care, and try not to let the ignoramuses get to you.

 

[Tybi]

Maybe you can make a few simple suggestions for him to give to his wife (presuming she's the one who's taking care of the girls). I question the six months and still a bald spot - that sounds like some other injury.

I agree. I have heard of people that have had a braid ripped out and have had a bald spot since, cause the entire follicle came out too I suppose. Tell him that, and that he need to get her to a derm, because no living breathing human would go 4 entire months with no growth. I must have PMS today because if I were in your situation, someone would have gotten cussed the #ell out!!

 

[fletches]

Ok, if it's been 6 mths & the hair still hasn't grown back then there's either a different problem, or the person doing her hair don't know what she's doing. You should do that childs hair. I'm sure you'd have that bald spot growing in no time.

 

[Makenzie]

Wow....um, just wow! I probably would have went into the moisture levels, how delicate are hair is and how 6 months is a long time for a bald patch. Possibly there is something else going on there.

Doesn't sound like the woman from Trinidad was much help either.

 

[MizAvalon]

The thing that stood out the most to me was that one of the other girls cut her hair off!

What happened there? Was it some kind of accident?

 

[camilla]

WOW I WOULD HAVE TOLD THEM THAT BLACK HAIR DOES GROW!!!! ....BUT NOT ALOT OF PEOPLE KNOW THAT LIKE A PLANT OUR HAIR NEEDS MOISTURE AND WITHOUT IT
DOES NOT GROW AND IF THEY NEEDED PROOF I WOUL HAV TO PULL UP THE MID BACK WAIST AND EVEN THE OTHERS WITH COMP PICTURES SO THEY COULD SEE

 

[NYAmicas]

I would have kindly given him this site's address and said his wife would be very interested in AA hair care techniques. It sounds like the Trini sister was mocking his ignorance.

Yup, and he can buy me a year's subscription while he's at it. I'd also talk his head off about black hair myths and maintenance.

 

[BlackMarilyn]

alot of trinis think like that. "if you dont have type 4 hair, you aint a real black".

i dunno if its because most black ppl in trinidad with type 2-3 hair are half indian half black and call themselves "dougla's" (pronounced doh-gla).

girl, just keep growing urs and let them see the truth. that is all i can say.

 

[isawstars]

The thing that stood out the most to me was that one of the other girls cut her hair off!

What happened there? Was it some kind of accident?

That stood out to me too! That is something little girls do to their Barbies, not to their playmates.

 

[BGT]

The thing that stood out the most to me was that one of the other girls cut her hair off!

What happened there? Was it some kind of accident?

No accident. One of their white daughters probably cut it on purpose because the other girls were getting too much attention.

 

[Barbara]

With all the weaves, wigs, extensions, etc., what are they suppose to think? I've seen girls as young as two to five years old with weaves and extensions. Then think of all the damaged, jacked up, chewed up, short hair that they see. Well, what do you expect? Then some African American women tell others: "My hair just won't grow." Some have made this statement to me. Then they tell me how they brush it, wash it, etc., and it stays the same length.

There is a myth that African American hair does not grow, so that's why we hear these ignorant responses, because my stylist said: "Our women think they know how to take care of their hair, but they don't." Let's not get offended. Some of them really don't know.

 

[hopeful]

I don't know what I would have said. Just stunned that he made that statement, looking at you with all that hair that grows and grows, it's just such a dumb statement. And the Trinidad statement, I don't get that either. I just feel sorry for those little AA girls living with such ignorant people.

 

[beans4reezy]

Education a key. A an uninformed statement like that needs an informed answer.

 

[Tarae]

I don't know what I would have said. Just stunned that he made that statement, looking at you with all that hair that grows and grows, it's just such a dumb statement. And the Trinidad statement, I don't get that either. I just feel sorry for those little AA girls living with such ignorant people.

I agree. I think OP's reply was good but was ruined by the coworker's comment erplexed

Someone made a similar comment to me before and I just ignored it. It was best I did that because what I was thinking wouldn't have been too nice. I still wonder if she meant it the way I think she meant it. I didn't want to overreact.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

LAWD,LAWD.... White folks Shooting their mouths off once again....

 

[fletches]

I don't know what I would have said. Just stunned that he made that statement, looking at you with all that hair that grows and grows, it's just such a dumb statement. And the Trinidad statement, I don't get that either. I just feel sorry for those little AA girls living with such ignorant people.

I had a co worker come up to me one day & ask me where I got my wig from. My hair was in tiny spirals sorta like a braid out, and I told her "it's not a wig, it's my hair". She gave me a look of utter shock and said "really, that's ALL your hair. It looks so healthy" Now I don't know what other way it was supposed to look , but apparently this lady thinks all black hair looks unhealthy.

Now I wanted to cuss her out, but I just said Thank you, and moved on. Some ppl just act like they don't know any better.

 

[hairmaster]

The thing that stood out the most to me was that one of the other girls cut her hair off!

What happened there? Was it some kind of accident?

Little girls like to play hairstylist, the mistake was not cutting the daughters hair also the see who hair grows, it is harsh but it would get the point across.

 

[BostonMaria]

The thing that stood out the most to me was that one of the other girls cut her hair off!

What happened there? Was it some kind of accident?

Sounds to be like some abuse is going on at home

 

[CurleeDST]

I believe the younger AA's older sister cut her hair. I know some people who have played this cruel joke on their siblings. Also I told him to look at my hair, I cut it off to 1 inch 2 years ago and look at it now 2 years later. He said "my hair would get to the length you have now in 6 months not 2 years". LOL! I am sorry - I bust out laughing at this. I informed him within those 2 years I cut it 3 times but he wasn't convinced. BTW I was loc'ing my hair for about 4 months and it grew really quickly b/c I literally was not washing it but every 3 months and only twisting the roots and doing NOTHING else in between seeing the loctician. When I took them down (long story as to why I stopped) I noticed hair on the sides top, way past my collar bone! But b/c the ends were dried out I cut my hair and it needed a shape up so I cut it back a bit.

White folks are just as ignorant about AA hair as black folks and when white folks THINK they know especially due to situations like this or when they adopt black children - it is dangerous!

 

[trj1922]

White folks are just as ignorant about AA hair as black folks and when white folks THINK they know especially due to situations like this or when they adopt black children - it is dangerous!

This is just one more reason that in spite of my generally "enlightened" racial attitudes, my heart hurts every time Black folks can't get their um... stuff together to raise their own children. I know it just leads to mess like this because we don't caretake for/adopt our own kids often enough and were it not for cross-racial adoptions even more of them would be languishing in the "system." However, you have NO BUSINESS WHATSOEVER with a Black child if you're sitting up looking at a bald spot after SIX MONTHS thinking it's normal because "Black hair doesn't grow." This doesn't apply to all non-Black caretakers and parents of Black kids. I've seen some really step up to the plate and learn to care for their babies hair, but it burns my biscuit when they don't.

I want to believe that anyone can love and nurture any child, but that is obviously not always the case. Hair knowledge is lacking among Blacks but I have only seen this kind of extreme WILLFUL ignorance among non-Blacks. I wouldn't even bother continuing to explain to this fool because this type of foolishness tends to persist in spite of any and all evidence to the contrary. A large part of his resistance (whether conscious or not) is probably that in his mind, you are part of the same group of people as the folks whose kids he is raising right now because they can't do it themselves. What could you possibly know?

 

[LiberianGirl]

This is just one more reason that in spite of my generally "enlightened" racial attitudes, my heart hurts every time Black folks can't get their um... stuff together to raise their own children. I know it just leads to mess like this because we don't caretake for/adopt our own kids often enough and were it not for cross-racial adoptions even more of them would be languishing in the "system." However, you have NO BUSINESS WHATSOEVER with a Black child if you're sitting up looking at a bald spot after SIX MONTHS thinking it's normal because "Black hair doesn't grow." This doesn't apply to all non-Black caretakers and parents of Black kids. I've seen some really step up to the plate and learn to care for their babies hair, but it burns my biscuit when they don't.

I want to believe that anyone can love and nurture any child, but that is obviously not always the case. Hair knowledge is lacking among Blacks but I have only seen this kind of extreme WILLFUL ignorance among non-Blacks. I wouldn't even bother continuing to explain to this fool because this type of foolishness tends to persist in spite of any and all evidence to the contrary. A large part of his resistance (whether conscious or not) is probably that in his mind, you are part of the same group of people as the folks whose kids he is raising right now because they can't do it themselves. What could you possibly know?

Great post. I completely agree.

 

[girlyprincess23]

My NATURAL reaction would have been
"You're absolutely right! Black hair doesn't grow, especially with 2 ignorant white folks doing the child's head."

But I would've held my tongue & explained that black hair does grow, its just so easy to break off, so you have to be extremely careful and lack of proper care will make the hair appear as if it were not growing,
You know, stuff we here at LHCF with common sense already know.

ROFLMAO!!!! I swear....some people!!!

 

[TaurusAngel]

LAWD,LAWD.... White folks Shooting their mouths off once again....

I know right? I want to say just ignore this fool, but two little girls are in the picture. I would try and offer some type of help, or at least try and get him to try a few things and see how they work out. Now, if he was having this problem with his daughters, i wouldn't care one bit. May be mean, but whatever.

 

[PGirl]

I wonder if the girls hair is really bald in that spot or if it's actually growing back at a normal pace. It wouldn't have grown back in 6 months anyway even if she was white. The VP thinks black hair doesn't grown so is he just being ignorant about it??? I think his expectations could be clouding his viewpoint. Maybe?

 

[Muse]

I wonder if the girls hair is really bald in that spot or if it's actually growing back at a normal pace. It wouldn't have grown back in 6 months anyway even if she was white. The VP thinks black hair doesn't grown so is he just being ignorant about it??? I think his expectations could be clouding his viewpoint. Maybe?

Yeah I was thinking that too and if she has a lot of shrinkage it will appear that it's not growing back at a normal rate.

 

[ibeleevenme]

Wow! I agree with the others! He nor his wife know what they are doing. I can't understand why some people decide to say ignorant things to black people as if we are going to be amused. I have been teased before about my hair, saying that I don't have black people hair, but I'm proud of what I have even if it is unruly.

A bald patch?????? Sounds like someone ripped it out, not cut it out. And if it was ripped out, yeh it's possible that it would still be balled after all this time. Sometimes hair like that doesn't grow. My lil sis ripped out a tiny spot of my hair when we were younger, from the root, and ... well lets just say I still glare at her sometimes.