Black Hair and Weaves

S

Syrah

Well-Known Member
...so I was reading what went on with one of our LHCF ladies and how the information she offered on this board was misused on another. Bummer situation, because we're all here for support and friendship - it's disheartening to think that what we see as positive on this board can be taken to another place and be used against someone or in a manner that may be hurtful.

That aside, I was wondering - what's with this thing about black hair and weaves?! Or is it even a black hair thing - is there a reason why we're so secretive when it comes to our hair secrets?! In some ways, are we playing into the stigma that black hair doesn't grow - that it can't be long, etc?

A poster mentioned that if Beyonce was on camera, and someone asked about her hair, would she say it's a weave? Probably not. But Jessica Simpson, Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman, even Paris Hilton do all the time. "Your hair looks pretty Paris" "yea, well Jacque put some extensions in and then died them to make my hair look fuller". Jessica Simpson openly admitted to wearing WIGS on the read carpet numerous times. No shame in her game. Pamela Anderson has admitted many times that she hates putting in the extensions for red carpet appearances because they give her a headache. BUT OUR stars want everyone to believe it's ours?

So I'm wondering, is there still a little shame in our game - not necessarily here on these boards, but just with sisters in general, and our hair?!

:::Sex in the city moment:::

I can't help but wonder - with sisters, does the hair make the girl?
 
MsNadi said:
...so I was reading what went on with one of our LHCF ladies and how the information she offered on this board was misused on another. Bummer situation, because we're all here for support and friendship - it's disheartening to think that what we see as positive on this board can be taken to another place and be used against someone or in a manner that may be hurtful.

That aside, I was wondering - what's with this thing about black hair and weaves?! Or is it even a black hair thing - is there a reason why we're so secretive when it comes to our hair secrets?! In some ways, are we playing into the stigma that black hair doesn't grow - that it can't be long, etc?

A poster mentioned that if Beyonce was on camera, and someone asked about her hair, would she say it's a weave? Probably not. But Jessica Simpson, Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman, even Paris Hilton do all the time. "Your hair looks pretty Paris" "yea, well Jacque put some extensions in and then died them to make my hair look fuller". Jessica Simpson openly admitted to wearing WIGS on the read carpet numerous times. No shame in her game. Pamela Anderson has admitted many times that she hates putting in the extensions for red carpet appearances because they give her a headache. BUT OUR stars want everyone to believe it's ours?

So I'm wondering, is there still a little shame in our game - not necessarily here on these boards, but just with sisters in general, and our hair?!

:::Sex in the city moment:::

I can't help but wonder - with sisters, does the hair make the girl?
Click to expand...

Gabrielle Union and Tyra openly admit they wear weave...I am sure there are others. I guess it is all in how the question is presented for some people. Ask a dumb question, you might just get a dumb answer. Asking a person if they wear weave and already knowing it's a weave is stupid in itself.
 
MsNadi said:
...A poster mentioned that if Beyonce was on camera, and someone asked about her hair, would she say it's a weave? Probably not.
Click to expand...

My 2 cents on Beyonce - in her interviews the answers seen so contrived and rehearsed, I'm not sure if she could give a genuine answer....
 
MsNadi said:
...so I was reading what went on with one of our LHCF ladies and how the information she offered on this board was misused on another. Bummer situation, because we're all here for support and friendship - it's disheartening to think that what we see as positive on this board can be taken to another place and be used against someone or in a manner that may be hurtful.

That aside, I was wondering - what's with this thing about black hair and weaves?! Or is it even a black hair thing - is there a reason why we're so secretive when it comes to our hair secrets?! In some ways, are we playing into the stigma that black hair doesn't grow - that it can't be long, etc?

A poster mentioned that if Beyonce was on camera, and someone asked about her hair, would she say it's a weave? Probably not. But Jessica Simpson, Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman, even Paris Hilton do all the time. "Your hair looks pretty Paris" "yea, well Jacque put some extensions in and then died them to make my hair look fuller". Jessica Simpson openly admitted to wearing WIGS on the read carpet numerous times. No shame in her game. Pamela Anderson has admitted many times that she hates putting in the extensions for red carpet appearances because they give her a headache. BUT OUR stars want everyone to believe it's ours?

So I'm wondering, is there still a little shame in our game - not necessarily here on these boards, but just with sisters in general, and our hair?!

:::Sex in the city moment:::

I can't help but wonder - with sisters, does the hair make the girl?
Click to expand...

White people have been wearing weaves all along but just never said anything about it. We had no clue because we just assumed that because their hair seems to grow long on its own that it must be their own hair. They are just now beginning to speak publicly about it. Maybe black women just haven't gotten to that point yet.


I think the whole secretiveness with Black women and weaves goes back to the whole idea about Black women can't grow hair. There's a certain stigma attached with wearing a weave. When women wear weave there's always some speculation about them perpetrating or trying to fake like it's theirs or whatever. And usually only from other black people. There's always been this whole issue of good and long hair/bad and short hair (which I hope will eventually go away) and those with long hair may have been favored or praised and those without weren't. And maybe they decided to buy some hair or maybe not.

Many people assume that just because a woman wears a weave that she is bald headed or has damaged hair which isn't always the case. Sometimes when people (men included) see a nice head of hair they have to try and diminish that by saying it is a weave like that makes them feel better (this is just my own observation). I know many of the ladies here have had weave comments made about their own natural hair and I can see why they would be offended. I know my mother was offended when a man at work said "Oh well I didn't know that was all your hair. I just assumed it was a weave because most black women with long hair wear weaves." She was appalled.

For me, I wear weaves mainly to give my hair a rest and protect it. It started because I went away to college and couldn't come back home to get my hair done every week like I used to in hs. I was only allowed to wear weave on special occasions then. There weren't salons near my school that I trusted and quite frankly with school expenses I couldn't afford to go to the salon every week anymore. I had gotten it cut short the summer after 10th grade due to some overprocessing from another stylist so by 12th grade it was starting to fall on my shoulders. By the end of my fall semester at college it was full shoulder length. I wore a weave that sem, I dont know why I didn't stick with that. I tried the braids thing spring semester freshman year and they pulled my hair out. I had short pieces and long pieces all over the place. By the time she evened it out I was back to a short cut again. I was devasted because the hair I worked so hard to take care of for those 2 years had to be all chopped off. After that I got into half wigs and ponytails sophomore and most of junior year. Over the summer of my junior year I found a lady who did weaves for $80 so I started going to her on occasion.

A weave was a more feasible option for me because for one, it was less expensive, two is was less stress on my hair, three it provided more flexibility with styling, four it took less time to put in and take out, and five it lasted a bit longer for me than the braids did. When I was a junior and able to have my car on campus I started going home to get my own hair done every 2 weeks or so. Sure girls on this campus think I'm baldheaded because I rarely wear my own hair out and have things to say but my hair has been growing beautifully since I started weaving regularly when school started this past fall. It's paying off for me. I'm just trying to reach my hair goals and I really don't care what anyone has to say about it. It's none of their business.
 
There's no shame in my game! My hair is already long but I like to change things up (I get bored easily). The world would be so boring without change. Any type of enhancement falls into this category (make-up, push up bras, acrylic nails) IMO
 
I really think it is just burned into the minds of many people, black, white, other, that black women can not grow their hair long!! This is a fact, so I think that when "we" wear weave and people know it is weave it just enforces the belief that wearing "fake hair" is the only way we will ever get length. I have to admit that I shy away from weave because of this fact. I will and have worn braids but the stigma is so much less with braids because it is still "ethnic" looking. But long flowing hair doesn't seem "natural" to many when it comes to black women. Even my best friend, I let her look at a few of my favorite Fotki albums and each lady she would say "If i saw her in person I would assume she had weave." EVERYONE of them, she thought this. Sad, but what can we do about it. I believe by caring for our hair and growing it, maybe it won't seem so foreign to see a beautiful head of hair on a black lady.
 
Nice post Bmoreflyygirl. Thanks for the honesty. My heart broke a little when you said you had gotten to shoulder-length and then lost the length after the braids. I can only imagine how hurt you were when that happened. I'm glad you've found something that works for you.
 
MsNadi said:
...I can't help but wonder - with sisters, does the hair make the girl?
Click to expand...

Umm... yeah! Black women and hair is such a BID-NESS! The influence of Hollywood is but one part in this party... a lot of styles and techniques come out of the underground (as with any new movement) and then it hits Hollywood and then it comes back around to the masses. You see this same cycle over and over again.... The latest to hit is the growing popularity of the lacefront wig.... My hairdresser told me about them when I started my transition. I was like, what are you talking about? Well, I did some research and wow! That's how the stars were working their stuff! Now they are becoming more popular in the mainstream. And wow at how much they cost! Quite an investment with gasoline at $3 a gallon, yet many everyday sistahs are putting their dollars toward a lacefront... so if it's a choice between eating, gas, food vs. a BAAADDDD lacefront and the sista chooses the lacefront, well there's the answer to your question! :lol:

P.S. Really like Sex and the City!
 
bmoreflyygirl said:
White people have been wearing weaves all along but just never said anything about it. We had no clue because we just assumed that because their hair seems to grow long on its own that it must be their own hair. They are just now beginning to speak publicly about it. Maybe black women just haven't gotten to that point yet.


I think the whole secretiveness with Black women and weaves goes back to the whole idea about Black women can't grow hair. There's a certain stigma attached with wearing a weave. When women wear weave there's always some speculation about them perpetrating or trying to fake like it's theirs or whatever. And usually only from other black people. There's always been this whole issue of good and long hair/bad and short hair (which I hope will eventually go away) and those with long hair may have been favored or praised and those without weren't. And maybe they decided to buy some hair or maybe not.

Many people assume that just because a woman wears a weave that she is bald headed or has damaged hair which isn't always the case. Sometimes when people (men included) see a nice head of hair they have to try and diminish that by saying it is a weave like that makes them feel better (this is just my own observation). I know many of the ladies here have had weave comments made about their own natural hair and I can see why they would be offended. I know my mother was offended when a man at work said "Oh well I didn't know that was all your hair. I just assumed it was a weave because most black women with long hair wear weaves." She was appalled.

For me, I wear weaves mainly to give my hair a rest and protect it. It started because I went away to college and couldn't come back home to get my hair done every week like I used to in hs. I was only allowed to wear weave on special occasions then. There weren't salons near my school that I trusted and quite frankly with school expenses I couldn't afford to go to the salon every week anymore. I had gotten it cut short the summer after 10th grade due to some overprocessing from another stylist so by 12th grade it was starting to fall on my shoulders. By the end of my fall semester at college it was full shoulder length. I wore a weave that sem, I dont know why I didn't stick with that. I tried the braids thing spring semester freshman year and they pulled my hair out. I had short pieces and long pieces all over the place. By the time she evened it out I was back to a short cut again. I was devasted because the hair I worked so hard to take care of for those 2 years had to be all chopped off. After that I got into half wigs and ponytails sophomore and most of junior year. Over the summer of my junior year I found a lady who did weaves for $80 so I started going to her on occasion.

A weave was a more feasible option for me because for one, it was less expensive, two is was less stress on my hair, three it provided more flexibility with styling, four it took less time to put in and take out, and five it lasted a bit longer for me than the braids did. When I was a junior and able to have my car on campus I started going home to get my own hair done every 2 weeks or so. Sure girls on this campus think I'm baldheaded because I rarely wear my own hair out and have things to say but my hair has been growing beautifully since I started weaving regularly when school started this past fall. It's paying off for me. I'm just trying to reach my hair goals and I really don't care what anyone has to say about it. It's none of their business.
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You are so on point with your comments about white women wearing weaves. When I used to compete in pagents, I saw how the white women had so much weave it was amazing!! Going to boarding school and the like, I notice it too. But........ what really gets me, is watching the documentary posted in Off Topics about black women and bbs, they mentioned that over 60% of weave, wig products ae consumed by African American women. I don't understand that statistic when there are more white women in the country than black. That statics would mean that almost every black woman wears some type of fake hair. I don't know if that is possible.
 
Catina72 said:
I really think it is just burned into the minds of many people, black, white, other, that black women can not grow their hair long!! This is a fact, so I think that when "we" wear weave and people know it is weave it just enforces the belief that wearing "fake hair" is the only way we will ever get length. I have to admit that I shy away from weave because of this fact. I will and have worn braids but the stigma is so much less with braids because it is still "ethnic" looking. But long flowing hair doesn't seem "natural" to many when it comes to black women. Even my best friend, I let her look at a few of my favorite Fotki albums and each lady she would say "If i saw her in person I would assume she had weave." EVERYONE of them, she thought this. Sad, but what can we do about it. I believe by caring for our hair and growing it, maybe it won't seem so foreign to see a beautiful head of hair on a black lady.
Click to expand...
i agree with a lot of what you said. or if a person does have long hair she has to have "white or native american blood" in her family or she has to have good hair.

i remember when i did wear hair pieces in jr high and HS to mask my hair problems people in my family usually couldn't wait to oust me as wearing fake hair. if someone gave me a compliment someone would always chime in "thats a weave!" then when i wore my natural hair out and it was shoulder length people kept asking "oh your hair is a good length, why wear hair pieces?"

i guess wearing weaves for some people is considered embarrassing because it proves to some people that black women's hair does not grow long, especially when black women are the biggest consumers of hair extensions. i have never seen a white woman get the "screw face" when she admits that she wears fake hair but i have seen people snicker and laugh at black women wearing fake hair.
 
XXXtacy said:
You are so on point with your comments about white women wearing weaves. When I used to compete in pagents, I saw how the white women had so much weave it was amazing!! Going to boarding school and the like, I notice it too. But........ what really gets me, is watching the documentary posted in Off Topics about black women and bbs, they mentioned that over 60% of weave, wig products ae consumed by African American women. I don't understand that statistic when there are more white women in the country than black. That statics would mean that almost every black woman wears some type of fake hair. I don't know if that is possible.[/quote]

ITA!:)
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You know, this is a very good topic. I say that because I have been wearing weaves and braids for over 15 years. Back when I started wearing weaves it was basically not the norm like it is today. I never had a problem with wearing them. I remember when I would get compliments on my hair, I would say it's a weave and actuallly go on a show them wear the weave begins and ends. Wearing a weave has never been a problem for me. NOW what I find today and based on popular hair suppliers like Extensions-plus, Blisstriune.com and HISANDHERS, white women were back then and still are their biggest clients. Black women are the culprits when it comes to judging ones hair. I have heard black women compliment my hair and then her friend would say behind my back(as if I didn't hear her), "girl that is a weave." I for one was born with very fragile hair. I don't have the thickness to achieve the styles that I like. Wearing a weave has changed all that. I now wear my hair exactly how I like it. Compliments come in from everywhere wondering who did my hair. I even have an account set up(yes,an account) with extension-plus so I could get my hair cheaper. I order hair for several ladies and I even direct them to the best sylist to put the weaves in. I have no problem with wearing a weave, therefore no one else should have a problem with it....
 
Basically I think the prevailing sentiment is that White women wear weave because they want to Black women wear weave because they have to. This is not the case
 
Basically I think the prevailing sentiment is that White women wear weave because they want to Black women wear weave because they have to. This is not the case
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So on point!

I'm going to be honest here. I have resentment about the fact that a black woman with long hair is "guilty until proven innocent" as far as weave goes. I think that resentment has spilled over to women who wear weaves. It's my own issue and hang-up, and I know it's not right, but it's how I feel. When I see a woman with an obvious weave (because I always try to give the benefit of the doubt), I get irritated and think, "Why can't you just do something with your own hair?"

Also, I think the fact that weaves have gotten longer, straighter, and way less believable contributes to this. It's not like women are just trying to add thickness or a little length anymore. I'm talking ratty, butt length weaves.

Anyway, just being honest here and I hope I didn't offend anyone.
 
I agree with much that is said. It's our mentality. We aren't there yet and a lot of us simply can't believe that Black folks can grow their hair period outside of this board.

Secondly, there are people that will go out of your way to make you feel bad for wearing one. It makes them feel better than you and so they put you down. They don't even have to know the reason you're wearing it either. You really could have hair underneath, are giving your hair a rest, want to experiment with color and texture, etc. In their mind, your baldheaded and can't grow it but you know way more than them about haircare.

One member on this board openly admitted that she thought my hair was a weave. I wasn't offended because I hear this all the time.
 
bmoreflyygirl said:
I think the whole secretiveness with Black women and weaves goes back to the whole idea about Black women can't grow hair. There's a certain stigma attached with wearing a weave. When women wear weave there's always some speculation about them perpetrating or trying to fake like it's theirs or whatever. And usually only from other black people. ...

Many people assume that just because a woman wears a weave that she is bald headed or has damaged hair which isn't always the case.

For me, I wear weaves mainly to give my hair a rest and protect it.
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bmoreflyygirl, I am one of those people who assumed that if a woman wears a weave 24/7 for years, it is because she is bald-headed or has damaged hair. I made that assumption about Star Jones in one of the threads on her hair length.

I am quite willing to admit that these are assumptions, and since I am not anybody's hairdresser and I don't really know what is happening in anybody else's hair, I will stop making these assumptions in the future.

Weaves are not a personal option for me, and I do wish black women as a group, didn't use them so extensively. However, it's no skin off my nose that other women use them. It's their hair. I am very sorry that someone felt the need to call you out and pass a link to your album to embarass you under the guise of standing for the truth. That was uncalled for. I will not embarass another black woman on a multi-racial board on the subject of hair. It's not a sisterly thing to do at all.
 
FineChyna said:
i remember when i did wear hair pieces in jr high and HS to mask my hair problems people in my family usually couldn't wait to oust me as wearing fake hair. quote]

i don't know what is wrong with our people that we have to intentionally hurt each other and family members are the first ones to take a stab at you. there is already so much negativity associated with being black by other races that we don't have to further damage our self esteems by putting a knife into each other. self-hatred at it's finest :mad: :(

and i'm not speaking directly about your family just the race as a whole. and what's up with the 3 stars. not all posts have to be about the best poos and conds :mad: :mad: :mad: .
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Jessy55 said:
I am very sorry that felt the need to call you out and pass a link to your album to embarass you under the guise of standing for the truth. That was uncalled for. I will not embarass another black woman on a multi-racial board on the subject of hair. It's not a sisterly thing to do at all.
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and the choir said amen! bmorefly, keep being more fly girl!!!
 
...and that's important.

I'll sometimes rock a phony-pony because I want to curl and flip the hair but I don't want to put the stress on MY hair.

But a step deeper - white women haven't been utilizing fake hair pieces any longer than anyone else. Wigs and hair pieces aren't a new thing to any culture or people. But we are more secretive about it and our hair is so serious to us. You are absolutely right that a lot of that seriousness has to do with the fact that for so long we thought long black hair simply wasn't a possibility..

...just exploring. :)
 
Great point Dee. Acrylic/Silk Rap nails, push-up bra, bronzers, tinted lotions. Maybe it's not that serious.

Cuz I damn sure don't see females of ANY type running around talking about "oh no..these aren't my boobies. God bless Wonderbra!" :lol:

I just thought I'd put this topic out there since many of us are on here for the purpose of maintaining healthy hair - which leads to growth and length.
 
Sorry to hear this happened to a member... Now my two cents

I for add hair all the time be it weaves, braids, ponytails, etc. I love it. It's just me. I also love wearing my hair. I, for one, wear these styles b/c they help me to achieve my goals and it's what works for me. I have co-workers who will openly comments" how I knew your hair wasn't that long" or " I knew you wouldn't wear your hair for long". And these women both have hair that is shorter than mine. But they love to comment on my weaves. I just think that there is still a stigma with black women wearing weaves and it's going to take time to change that. But until it changes we should just be support of everyone else choices b/c at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter...
 
XXXtacy said:
You are so on point with your comments about white women wearing weaves. When I used to compete in pagents, I saw how the white women had so much weave it was amazing!! Going to boarding school and the like, I notice it too. But........ what really gets me, is watching the documentary posted in Off Topics about black women and bbs, they mentioned that over 60% of weave, wig products ae consumed by African American women. I don't understand that statistic when there are more white women in the country than black. That statics would mean that almost every black woman wears some type of fake hair. I don't know if that is possible.
Click to expand...
Now, girl - you know Statistics are used in SUPPORT of a point as opposed as to help make a point. In other words, whoever did that study had a theory in mind. It's like the stats about 75% of black men being in Jail - nonsense at it's best.

Statistics are like umm..."booty holes" ....everyone has one. :)
 
FineChyna said:
i agree with a lot of what you said. or if a person does have long hair she has to have "white or native american blood" in her family or she has to have good hair.

i remember when i did wear hair pieces in jr high and HS to mask my hair problems people in my family usually couldn't wait to oust me as wearing fake hair. if someone gave me a compliment someone would always chime in "thats a weave!" then when i wore my natural hair out and it was shoulder length people kept asking "oh your hair is a good length, why wear hair pieces?"

i guess wearing weaves for some people is considered embarrassing because it proves to some people that black women's hair does not grow long, especially when black women are the biggest consumers of hair extensions. i have never seen a white woman get the "screw face" when she admits that she wears fake hair but i have seen people snicker and laugh at black women wearing fake hair.
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I'm going to go out on a limb for a second - and say that I agree and I think this is why so many people claim bi-racial mixes that don't really apply to us. Did you see the show where they were testing various black folks who SWORE they had native american blood and found that this was not true?! Folks like Oprah, Whoopi, Morgan Freeman were tested - all who thought they had traced their family trees and found this not to be true.

On a deeper level I think it has to do with self-acceptance. For so many years in this country, we've been convinced that black simply isn't the face of beauty. That our hair isn't beautiful, our skin, our noses, our hips and thighs etc. That none of what is NATURAL to us isn't beautiful. Now we all know that simply ain't the truth.

And that's part of the beauty about something like LHCF. A bunch of sisters learning to love what is natural to them (natural, meaning not fake...but it can be enhanced) and finding support from other sisters in doing so. :) On Black Voices - somewhere in the "Hair Talk" board - a sister had started a thread about how she thought LHCF wreaked of self-hatred because the focus was on LONG hair as opposed to healthy hair. I'll see if I can find the link.
 
MsNadi said:
I'm going to go out on a limb for a second - and say that I agree and I think this is why so many people claim bi-racial mixes that don't really apply to us. Did you see the show where they were testing various black folks who SWORE they had native american blood and found that this was not true?! Folks like Oprah, Whoopi, Morgan Freeman were tested - all who thought they had traced their family trees and found this not to be true.

On a deeper level I think it has to do with self-acceptance. For so many years in this country, we've been convinced that black simply isn't the face of beauty. That our hair isn't beautiful, our skin, our noses, our hips and thighs etc. That none of what is NATURAL to us isn't beautiful. Now we all know that simply ain't the truth.

And that's part of the beauty about something like LHCF. A bunch of sisters learning to love what is natural to them (natural, meaning not fake...but it can be enhanced) and finding support from other sisters in doing so. :) On Black Voices - somewhere in the "Hair Talk" board - a sister had started a thread about how she thought LHCF wreaked of self-hatred because the focus was on LONG hair as opposed to healthy hair. I'll see if I can find the link.
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YES!!! I was just thinking about this in the car today!! So many black people swear they have indian in their family but when they did those dna profiles most of those black people didn't have any, and if so it was a small percent.
 
It's so funny that this topic came up. For the past 2 days I've thoroughly researching weaves (in terms of styles, how to's, experiences, etc). A lot of that research I did in Reniece's album. I think if most black women saw what Reniece was able to accomplish by using proper hair care techniques and resting her hair in a weave, they wouldn't be so ashamed to admit it.

The sad fact is that most black women don't wear weaves for this reason. They wear them because they think they don't have a choice to have long hair of their own. I hate the saying "If you can't grow it, sew it." This is simply not the case, everyone's hair grows. I feel from what I've seen on this board and general research, that most people (of all races) can grow at least 10-12 inches of hair, that's close to or past bra-strap length on most women. The key is proper techniqes.

That said I plan to start incorporating weaves into my regimen to get me to APL and then to BSL. And I won't be ashamed to tell anyone that I have a weave. Not that I'm going to walk around with a sign on my head (I plan to get the most natural looking weave I can), but if someone asks and they aren't asking to shame me, I'm gonna tell them. As someone else said earlier, there is no shame in my game!

I love the open minds on this board:)
 
Great thread!

RabiaElaine said:
The sad fact is that most black women don't wear weaves for this reason. They wear them because they think they don't have a choice to have long hair of their own.
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Unfortunately, this was my reason for wearing a weave, all the time, for 16 years. I thought I had no choice. I regret that it's taken me this long to realize that I can grow my hair long, and have it healthy, but I guess it's better late than never. :)
 
But I must admit that I dont know if I would be willing to admit that I wear a weave to one of my mostly white co-workers. And for the same reason bmore mentioned in her in her thread about someone sharing her fotki link (sorry about that bmore). I too don't feel like explaining "black hair" or even "my hair" or the "how to's." Most sisters have been there and done that or already know about it. They usually just want to know if it is your real hair, and possibly who did it or where you got it from. From my experience with people from other races I get 99 questions if I tell them its not all my hair. :perplexed Like, "Wow thats not your hair? "How do you do that?" "Where does your hair end and the fake hair start?" "How long did it take?" "How long is your real hair?" etc etc etc.... And I know the questions would likely be drawn from pure curosity and ignorance to black hair and weaves but I'm usually not in the mood to be anyones teacher :lol: .

But if someone black were to ask me.....whether I knew them personally or it was off of the street....I would be quick to tell them it was a weave. Just because I dont have to explain the why's and the how to's. Also I feel like they can relate to me more when I tell them it is a weave.....and they would be less likely to judge me (in most cases). So thats my 2cents.....just being honest.
 
Personally, I have no problem with someone wearing weaves or wigs. in my avatar pic I'm wearing a wig. Its a reminder for me (I'm a cancer survivor) but its still cute!

And I have LOTS of wigs! Most of which didn't make it as long as the one I wear in that pic, but have to be honest, to me its nothing more than a style. during my chemo days I wore some wild stuff too! (amazing I've toned it back since then :lol: )

In a way I figured if I gotta wear it, I may as well get crazy with it. Sometimes I'd walk around baby butt bald, the next day i'd be sporting a blond bob:lol:

For me, its all good, wearing a wig is like wearing a hat.

I guess its because I have had way more serious things to deal with, and having hair or the lack thereof does not make or break me.

Really y'all, hair is just a covering on your head, and you can always cover your head with other things if needbe. My hair grows. It breaks but it does definitly grow.

My mission here is not to prove to people that my hair can grow, but to prove to MYSELF that I can maintain and keep the stuff on my head! I gave up caring what other people thought of me ages ago.


-A
 
Catina72 said:
I really think it is just burned into the minds of many people, black, white, other, that black women can not grow their hair long!! This is a fact, so I think that when "we" wear weave and people know it is weave it just enforces the belief that wearing "fake hair" is the only way we will ever get length. I have to admit that I shy away from weave because of this fact. I will and have worn braids but the stigma is so much less with braids because it is still "ethnic" looking. But long flowing hair doesn't seem "natural" to many when it comes to black women. Even my best friend, I let her look at a few of my favorite Fotki albums and each lady she would say "If i saw her in person I would assume she had weave." EVERYONE of them, she thought this. Sad, but what can we do about it. I believe by caring for our hair and growing it, maybe it won't seem so foreign to see a beautiful head of hair on a black lady.
Click to expand...
See! I don't don't like that mess! Growing long hair to prove to others that I can is not the only reason I'm growing my hair but it is one of my reasons. The other reason is because it is something i have always wanted. ANYWAY, I am not growing my hair long just so people can think it's a weave:mad: I also must admit that I USED TO have hard feelings towards females who did wear the weaves because I saw it as, "your just proving all of 'them' right". I felt as if someone sees a black female with long hair that's all hers, they'll just think it's a weave anyway because so many black women wear them. It's like someone else said though, they may be wearing it because they feel they have no choice but hair boards like this can change all of that:)
 
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