Best friend is acting cold

[Spongebob]

Hi Ladies,

Something is bothering me so much, and it's actually stressing me out too much. My best friend, or should I say the person closest to me who knows about all the troubles i'm going through, and who knows absolutely everything about me is acting all strange (cold) towards me. I know I must have done something wrong for her to act this way. It's her behavior that's changed dramatically. I know something is up. I don't know what. I asked her maybe 20 times, but the way she's responding just confirms it even further for me that there IS something i've done. We know each other too well too not notice, and I'm certain there is something but she won't tell me. She'll just laugh it off and say 'I'm fine' 'I'm fine'. If that was me and she genuinely had not done something to me I would ask her why she thinks that? But all she's saying to me is 'I promise you there's nothing' and 'I'm okay'. I just know I've done something but it looks like she's gonna persist in not telling me as I've been bothering her about it all morning now.

And to top it off, despite financial issues i traveled from far to visit her for a week, and even though I am leaving today, she didn't even say bye this morning, and just left me, alone, in her house without saying bye. Tell me that's not strange? And we were sleeping in the same room, but as she got up to get out for uni she was intentionally banging and making lots of noise which she doesn't normally do? And her tone was angry/moody when I would ask her something, and she would respond with yes/no closed answers. In the end i told her it was nearly time for me to leave and that I made sure her door/windows are shut. And she replied with 'okay bye'.

I know her too well to be 'misunderstanding' or to be mistaken in this. I know something is up, and it's frustrating that she's persisting in not telling me. She was fine last night, it's this morning she's acting strange. And she's normally such a kind and considerate person, that her change in behavior was just impossible not to notice.

I've been bugging her all morning to tell me, but all she's telling me is 'i'm fine' etc. Very closed unlike-her type responses.

I don't know what to do? It's stressed me out so much I actually cried, i know childish. But it really upset me, how she was acting all cold, when I'm in her place and come to her from far and she's just gone and left without saying nothing?

should I give her time? What if she persists on pretending there's nothing? I find it extremely difficult to be just act like nothings wrong.

sigh..

 

[firecracker]

I'm sorry you are stressed over whatever is going on with your friend but you have to just leave her be. Please stop asking her what is wrong because I'm sure that is irritating her even more considering the fact that she doesn't want to tell you at this point. There is nothing you can do about it since you don't know what is wrong in the first place. Pray that she will come clean and things can go back to normal. Don't worry yourself over something and someone you cannot control. Give it over to God. Hopefully she'll come around.

 

[Keen]

Maybe it is not something you did. Maybe something else happened with/to her and she just don't feel like discussing it right now.

 

[runwaydream]

i agree with the first two posts. maybe it isn't something you did and you persisting in asking her over and over again even though she said it's nothing is irritating her, which is making her act even more distant. just leave it alone. there's only so many times you can ask, she'll tell you when she's ready.

 

[Blyss_curls]

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this w/someone you consider your best friend.

I agree that you have to give her some time and space, right now.

She may need some time to find the right words to tell you whatever is going on with her.

She may be angry about something and is attempting to calm down, so she can tell you about it. When people care, they don't want to "go off" in anger toward.

If she's the person you believe her to be, eventually (in a few hours, days, or weeks) she'll come to you and tell you what's on her mind.

If she does not, yet continues to act in this passive aggressive manner toward you, you may need to consider if you really want this person in your life, or not.

Hope this helps--take care!

 

[ManeStreet]

Maybe it is not something you did. Maybe something else happened with/to her and she just don't feel like discussing it right now.

Im thinking this too

 

[FelaShrine]

Sorry Op but for now you're gonna have to ignore her.

 

[hopeful]

Yes, let it go. And maybe living in close quarters is annoying her. After a few days of company I get testy and can't wait for them to leave, or it could be something else, or it could be something little you did that annoyed her and she's trying to process it. Whatever the case, just live your life and KIM, it will all work out eventually.

 

[lux10023]

from what you stated you have alot of problems/issues going on right now which maybe emotional draining her..sometimes friends ppl..etc get tired of hearing about their friends problems

with that said i wish you all the best---she may have some stuff going on as well..

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

waymin...u stayed at her house and yall slept in da same room?

did u fart in ur sleep or sumfin....maybe u were snorin too loud. did use something of hers....u know whatchu did. u just gotta figure out whatchu did.

oh, and one otha thing. u givin her too much air time. stop blowin up her phone askin her whatchu did wrong. when she is ready, she'll tell u.

 

[God_Favor]

Awwww, I'm sorry you are so stressed out. You need to back off and give her some space. Don't make what she is going through right now about you. And if you wont to check on her next week , ask her how she is doing only. Don't talk about your issues right now and don't ask her again if you did something to anger her.

You guys are BFF, i'll think she will come around when the time is right.
Just take care of you right now. Hope things get better soon!

 

[Spongebob]

thank you ladies,- i sure needed that advice this morning.

however things are completely back to normal (?!) she is laughing and joking and calling me 6 times in 10 minutes and giving me the tension headaches she usually does, i'm confused she persisted that nothing was wrong and she wasn't 'acting strange'. We're too close and have been friends for too long to be able to pretend and for the other not to notice. She said nothings wrong so I just left it and took her word for it.

Thank you once again

 

[Bublin]

If a guy switched back and forth like that with no explanation we'd say he was playing mind games......

 

[Krullete]

Spongebob,

I'd guess that:

- you may have said or done something in you sleep during the night, that offended or disturbed her; or

- she is so uncomfortable with 'saying good-bye', and with you (her close friend) leaving, that it ruined her entire morning. Maybe she finds it easier to be grumpy and distant, than to experience emotional vulnerability on your last morning together.

Now that the departure is accomplished, she can release that tension, and enjoy your (long-distance) relationship again.

 

[msdeevee]

Im inclined to think that maybe you being with her for that week irritated her as said upthread. I'm glad that you 2 are "back to normal" as you said but I had a similar experience like this so I would warn you to be careful.

I am much older than you and my experience hurt me also to my heart and I cried too so it's not so childish . If you have love for someone its not childish to cry over the loss of something that's special to you.

My ex friend was someone that was in my life for over 25 years. After she started hanging w/ a mutual acquaintance that was very jealous hearted & envious her attitude towards me changed. To make a long story short , I called her, emailed her asking whats wrong and she never responded until I blind sided her and called her office she still didn't respond with anything but sarcasm.

After that it was over I stopped calling & prayed to stop caring and eventually i did .

A friend that does not respond to you when your clearly hurting and asking what's wrong is not a true friend.

Yes, we all have our moods & changes but I cant see my "best" friend going through changes & hurt for a period of time and not addressing it but I gather from your post that you 2 are younger so when we're young we sometimes make mistakes .