Being Happy: BC remorse, Going Back to Relaxers, Loving Natural Hair

[NewYorkgyrl]

^^^^^^ I wish that aspect of back in the day (wearing natural hair withour enduring funny stares) still held true for today.

There are may reasons why afros and cornrows that were once very much appreciated and admired are now looked upon as very negative. I don't think one can point to one particular thing. I just know that wearing natural hair today is the excpetion not the rule.

 

[Southernbella.]

I think in general people on the board are happy to see someone else happy with their hair, but I do admit that I don't find a return to relaxers a cause for celebration in the way that I find a return to one's own real natural hair a cause for celebration. JMO.

I agree with this.

OP, good luck with whatever you decide! I'm sure you will have lots of support either way.

 

[Southernbella.]

The following is my personal opinion.......

I don't feel there is a LACK OF love for those that go back to relaxers. People who relax their hair in my opinion do not need extra encouragement. Let's be real! Most black women use relaxers, that is mostly what you see in real life so it is considered "the norm". So I don't think most people put alot of thought into being more encouraging to people who return to "the norm". But I don't think it is a bad decision if that is what the person wants for themselves.

To be natural is not the norm. It may seem like it here but you and I both know it is not like that in the real world. How many times do people post about family discouragement, boyfriends and husbands not be accepting, people being made fun of, dominican hair dressers refusing to do your hair, etc (I can go on and on). Hence THAT is why most of the ladies here continue to be encouraging to naturals.
Relaxed heads DO NOT go through these daily struggles. (remember it is considered the norm) Black women are expected to relax their hair when they reach a certain age (some even are exposed as little babies). Heck even some white people think that our hair naturals grows out of our hair straight because that is the only way they see black women where their hair.

I have never read a post where someone was bashed for going back to relaxers. So I don't know what you mean by lack of love. Do they get the same encouraging speeches as they did when they were transitioning or as a natural.....No they don't. But from what I explained above it is obvious that, that kind of encouragment is not really needed. I just hope next time someone feels as though there is lack of loved for relaxed heads they really really think about ALL of the struggles naturals face (some experience all of them some not at all). Then ask yourself seriously if you had to face even half that when you were relaxed.


Do what is best for you. And this board will support whatever decision you will make.

Great post!

 

[Southernbella.]

So...does any one else ever miss their length? I've only missed my length once since I've been natural, and thats just because I was in the mood to do a ponytail that day. Overall, no...I'm enjoying having less hair to deal with.

Does anyone else feel shrinkage bothers them more than they'd normally admit?

Honestly no. I thought it would bother me, but it really doesn't. If I want a longer look, I warm blow-dry my hair to stretch it, or I do a twistout.

Does anyone else think there's a lack of love for those who go back to relaxers?

Not a lack of love. More like it's not a big deal since most black women are relaxed.

 

[MonPetite]

I long for the return of the days when a sister doesn't need to round up her family/friends and announce she's going natural; when she can just step out of the house wearing her hair HER way, and not the way she's "supposed" to wear it, and be admired for it. Only then will going natural stop being such a "big deal" and simply be a style preference.

I hope such a time returns. I really do.

Especially since the thread about someone loosening their curl over time through baking soda had been bouncing around just before your treatment. Unlike avocado, unless I'm wrong, baking soda doesn't seem to be touted as a conditioning agent at all. I've only seen it mentioned as an alternative to shampoo and to loosen curl. Since you weren't trying to clean, the effect I thought you were going for was to make your curls looser. Also, you had several other posts recently where it seemed like you were wrestling with the idea of how to, or if you should, loosen your curls. Anyway, this was my reasoning when I assumed your experiment was an attempt to loosen your curls. Sorry if I made the wrong assumption, but I at least wanted to explain myself and let you know why I thought that.

I suppose what your post made me realize, that causes me concern, is the idea that wanting to loosen your curls/ease frizz = you want a relaxer.

Hints of militancy to me. I'm NOT SAYING YOU ARE. Or that this "idea" is yours or any of that! I stalk your fotki, girl, I love your buns. Your post just led to some thought-wandering that brings me to what I'm typing now!! I'm just sensitive to militancy because I get slammed by some (not saying on LHCF, I mean off line) militants, while I'm bashed by relaxed heads at the same time (Again, off line, not LHCF). It just reminds me of the whole "unless you just use water on your hair then you aren't natural" thing.

Because with this line of thinking using Miss Jessie's to shingle your hair into curls you normally don't have is "loosening" which means you must want to go back to relaxers. Leaving in Suave Naturals Coconut Conditioner because it makes your hair shiny means you don't appreciate your natural sheen and want to go back to relaxers.

Which can imply you don't like being natural. As I think about it, MANY women use coconut-lime/yougurt JUST for looser curls, not to just condition. Do they want relaxers too? Or want to "go back to relaxers"? I'm not asking you directly...or attributing anything here that reminds me of the militancy I've had bad experiences (not linking them to you, wandering though my own mind here!!!) with to you. Imma' fan, girlie.

I don't think any woman who wants to spend 3.5 hours detangling versus 4 hours and uses juices n' berries to do it "wants to go back to relaxers". That's the assumption I dislike. It's like...at a certain point...if you're not nappy enough you're not "natural-natural"??? I don't know. That's another thread and a path I'm VERY scared to go down, and so I won't.

And yes, baking soda can condition -you can add a cup to your bath for extra silky skin.

But anyway, thanks for the mental nudge. I enjoyed a cup of coffee over that one. Back to topic....

The following is my personal opinion.......

I don't feel there is a LACK OF love for those that go back to relaxers. People who relax their hair in my opinion do not need extra encouragement. Let's be real! Most black women use relaxers, that is mostly what you see in real life so it is considered "the norm". So I don't think most people put alot of thought into being more encouraging to people who return to "the norm". But I don't think it is a bad decision if that is what the person wants for themselves.

I have never read a post where someone was bashed for going back to relaxers. So I don't know what you mean by lack of love. Do they get the same encouraging speeches as they did when they were transitioning or as a natural.....No they don't. But from what I explained above it is obvious that, that kind of encouragment is not really needed. I just hope next time someone feels as though there is lack of loved for relaxed heads they really really think about ALL of the struggles naturals face (some experience all of them some not at all). Then ask yourself seriously if you had to face even half that when you were relaxed.


Do what is best for you. And this board will support whatever decision you will make.

I thank you for your words and the time you took to write that out!

Something tells me "the board" (IE: Errrrvvvry body) won't be totally behind every decision we make for our hair...but, ah well. Such is life. LHCF is still the most encouraging hair forum in existence. At least in my opinion.

I see your point here. It is true we ARE expected to straight our hair/assimilate...but shouldn't we "have love" for someone who finds what makes them happy, whether it fits our ideal of a perfect world? Why shouldn't I give a "CONGRATS!" post to someone who relaxers her TBL natural hair. If it's really "her hair" and I say "do you" than I should congratualte her for "doing her". Which in this case is relaxing TBL natural hair (that I'd kill to have).

I would feel like a hypocrite, PERSONALLY THAT IS, only talking about ME AND ME ALONE HERE, if I was giddy about her BCing four years prior, then being silent when she relaxes for years later. Or however many years it takes to go from BC to TBL.

Having personally gone through verbal attacks for BCing and receiving stares of disgust (and I still do) I can truly relate to what you are saying...but I still hold myself to congratulating someone I know who BCed just as heartily if/or when she texlaxes, relaxes, locs, whatever.

Again...just me. Moi. I. Myself.

 

[NewYorkgyrl]

^^^^If you feel like saying congrats then say it. But what YOU would do is not always what others would do. You can't expect people to think exactly how you think.

I am sure in real life that when a woman that was natural decides to relax, and people who are very pro-straight hair see her they will be fawning all over her. She can take that as a CONGRATS!!! If that's what she wants.

I guess if you don't see it being done often, why don't you be the first to start saying congrats to someone that decides to go back to chemical whether it be relaxed or textlax or texturizer.

 

[JustKiya]

So...does any one else ever miss their length?

Does anyone else feel shrinkage bothers them more than they'd normally admit?

Does anyone else think there's a lack of love for those who go back to relaxers?

I don't miss my length, because I'm too busy enjoying the length that I'm at right now. *think* This is, I think, close to the shortest my hair has ever been (or will ever be, as I don't plan on cutting it, ever again), and thus, I'm enjoying this length - I'm appreciating it, and I'm learning it - and when this length is gone, I'll be moving on and appreciating my new lengths. I can't imagine just leaping into having 24 inches of hair, all at once. I would have no CLUE of what to do with it.
*smile* I think of the hair journey - esp. into longer, natural lengths - kinda like parenthood. You start with a baby, and as the babe grows, so do you - stairstepping upwards towards adulthood, learning what needs to be done, and how it should be best done, for your child - honoring and listening to your child in the process, and not constantly wanting your child to be your sister's child - taint how it is, and it's unfair to place that sort of weight on a child's shoulder. Same with hair. I started with something that was - relatively easy to take care of - simple, almost stupidly so. Can't REALLY mess up a TWA. As my hair has gotten longer, my knowledge has shifted and grown right along with it............

Shrinkage doesn't bother me, but then, I also think that I'm relatively not-normative in that I'm not TRYING to have hair to swing all over the place and to flow all down my back - I really don't CARE if people think I have *fingersnap* that much hair - this hair game ain't for others, it's for me.
I want more hair so that I can do more things with it (updos/buns/sophisticated styles), and the shrinkage is a BLESSING, because I can control how 'long' my hair is - I can make one section 'appear' to be 1 inch, and another section 'appear' to be 6 inches, depending on how I want to style my hair. Shrinkage gives me an enormous amount of control over my hair - and I appreciate that.

I'm totally co-signing with the idea that no, there isn't a cheering squad for people who decide to relax - *shrug* That's the norm for an adult black woman. Most people that she meets - esp. if she's been natural for a while - are going to be 'cheering' her for straightening her hair (after having been bugging her the whole time she was natural TO straighten her hair) - so, no, I most definitely don't feel the need to for someone going to a relaxer.

 

[anon123]

I don't think any woman who wants to spend 3.5 hours detangling versus 4 hours and uses juices n' berries to do it "wants to go back to relaxers". That's the assumption I dislike. It's like...at a certain point...if you're not nappy enough you're not "natural-natural"??? I don't know. That's another thread and a path I'm VERY scared to go down, and so I won't.

Naw, I totally agree. I'd love to spend less time detangling! Yeah, let's avoid that whole "not natural enough" thing, it gets crazy. I've even tried the yogurt thing myself, though I don't think my hair was any better for it. It was just a vibe I was picking up from your posts. It's all love here, your post was thoughtful and thought-provoking.

 

[Ms Lala]

I keep seeing posts that state that natural hair is not the norm, and I can't help but wonder when exactly did it stop being the norm for US and how did we let that happen?

I grew up in a time when women wore afros and puffs and cornrows without enduring funny stares and comments. Wearing your hair natural didn't require soul searching and courage. You either wore your hair natural or you ran a hot comb through it and wore it straight and no one questioned your sense of blackness. As long the hair was neat and attractive, we ALL were black and beautiful.

The fact that our hair can go from curly or kinky to straight with just the stroke of a flat iron or hot comb is what makes our hair unique and so intriguing to others. Back in the day, we accepted that our hair required more patience and effort to maintain because it was part of who we are and the hair we were born with. This is why seeing so many black women struggling with the idea of maintaining or handling natural hair still amazes me at times. Learning that so many black women have or had no idea of what their natural texture is was a real eye opener. I used to hate those hot comb sessions when I was a child and teen (my Mom would burn my scalp and try to tell me it was heat from the comb), but I'm glad for them, because even after 20 years of being relaxed, I still remember my natural texture well (which is why I think nothing of stretching my relaxers, even though my stylist wishes I wouldn't do it). And lately I've been wanting my 'old' hair back, even if I have to run a hot comb through it to keep it straight like I used to.

I long for the return of the days when a sister doesn't need to round up her family/friends and announce she's going natural; when she can just step out of the house wearing her hair HER way, and not the way she's "supposed" to wear it, and be admired for it. Only then will going natural stop being such a "big deal" and simply be a style preference.

Great post

 

[ladylibra]

Aww, man. I've been trying to deny cold water rinses work in my own mind. You're making it harder.

try doing it while standing in a hot shower... then you don't feel like you're freezing to death. (at least, that's the only way i get thru it)

I suppose what your post made me realize, that causes me concern, is the idea that wanting to loosen your curls/ease frizz = you want a relaxer.

Hints of militancy to me. I'm NOT SAYING YOU ARE. Or that this "idea" is yours or any of that! I stalk your fotki, girl, I love your buns. Your post just led to some thought-wandering that brings me to what I'm typing now!! I'm just sensitive to militancy because I get slammed by some (not saying on LHCF, I mean off line) militants, while I'm bashed by relaxed heads at the same time (Again, off line, not LHCF). It just reminds me of the whole "unless you just use water on your hair then you aren't natural" thing.

Because with this line of thinking using Miss Jessie's to shingle your hair into curls you normally don't have is "loosening" which means you must want to go back to relaxers. Leaving in Suave Naturals Coconut Conditioner because it makes your hair shiny means you don't appreciate your natural sheen and want to go back to relaxers.

Which can imply you don't like being natural. As I think about it, MANY women use coconut-lime/yougurt JUST for looser curls, not to just condition. Do they want relaxers too? Or want to "go back to relaxers"? I'm not asking you directly...or attributing anything here that reminds me of the militancy I've had bad experiences (not linking them to you, wandering though my own mind here!!!) with to you. Imma' fan, girlie.

I don't think any woman who wants to spend 3.5 hours detangling versus 4 hours and uses juices n' berries to do it "wants to go back to relaxers". That's the assumption I dislike. It's like...at a certain point...if you're not nappy enough you're not "natural-natural"??? I don't know. That's another thread and a path I'm VERY scared to go down, and so I won't.

And yes, baking soda can condition -you can add a cup to your bath for extra silky skin.

But anyway, thanks for the mental nudge. I enjoyed a cup of coffee over that one. Back to topic....



I thank you for your words and the time you took to write that out!

Something tells me "the board" (IE: Errrrvvvry body) won't be totally behind every decision we make for our hair...but, ah well. Such is life. LHCF is still the most encouraging hair forum in existence. At least in my opinion.

I see your point here. It is true we ARE expected to straight our hair/assimilate...but shouldn't we "have love" for someone who finds what makes them happy, whether it fits our ideal of a perfect world? Why shouldn't I give a "CONGRATS!" post to someone who relaxers her TBL natural hair. If it's really "her hair" and I say "do you" than I should congratualte her for "doing her". Which in this case is relaxing TBL natural hair (that I'd kill to have).

I would feel like a hypocrite, PERSONALLY THAT IS, only talking about ME AND ME ALONE HERE, if I was giddy about her BCing four years prior, then being silent when she relaxes for years later. Or however many years it takes to go from BC to TBL.

Having personally gone through verbal attacks for BCing and receiving stares of disgust (and I still do) I can truly relate to what you are saying...but I still hold myself to congratulating someone I know who BCed just as heartily if/or when she texlaxes, relaxes, locs, whatever.

Again...just me. Moi. I. Myself.

i don't say "congrats on your new relaxer!" but i certainly compliment them on their new look if it looks good (and let's be real, on LHCF most of y'alls hair looks GUD ). honestly, i am just happy to see someone with a healthy head of hair - i encourage that over length, texture or styling preference.

and don't even open that can of worms marked "the most natural"

 

[hopeful]

This has been a very enlightening thread, so glad it was started. When I first read the thread I felt frustrated that people don't support people who go back to relaxing. But after reading the responses I now understand better. I'm not sure I could have gone natural without the love and support of the online community. I really needed the support. Most of the world does not love our natural hair, especially if it is not curly.

The minute folks go back to relaxing/texurizing, etc. they will likely lose some of the natural support but they will immediately get less hassle from family, work associates, boyfriends etc. I know this is not always the case as some people are blessed to have family and friends who adore natural hair. Anyway, I just think in the end it all balances out. I just think some of us naturals get a little spoiled by LHCF/the online community and hate to give up that relationship as it is like losing a little family that loves you, gets you and supports you. Just have to remember the saying that when one door closes, another one opens.

 

[BrockStar]

Good, Honest post. I never judge, just encourage. I had a relaxer FOREVER so how could I? You know? It's all personal preference and anyone who does judge...well you know. Anyway, as far as BC remorse...that's so natural to have, especially if you're used to long hair. Even more so b/c it's hard to put in cute styles and you're walking past people who have their goal hair and you ONE DAY you'll get there but in the mean time...it is what it is. The thing that kept me through was fotki stalking and lhcf and knowing that one day it would be where I wanted it. Good luck!!

PS if it makes ou feel any better I have had about 3 post in which I was talking about texlaxing! lol! And I was nervous to post them!! So yeah...I feel ya

Last Edit..lol...but now I don't ever see me doing it because I'm closer to my goal...It just took patience

 

[naturalpride]

Thank you, sweetheart! Scarves and flowers have finally gotten boring for me, I'm afraid. Flat ironing my hair takes about two hours...WITH help! Four hours by myself. It can be done in an hour if the hair is fried, which is what most stylist who want to make money by getting to other heads will do. Plus I wash DAILY, so that nixes thermal straightening.

But...girl! You must've missed my "Baking Soda Ate My Scalp Thread". I found the mother of all "natural texturizers"...and it worked! Just not as much as a box of Just For Me.

Maybe you should relax to end your frustrations. It's your hair and your life! Much love

 

[Evazhair]

I keep seeing posts that state that natural hair is not the norm, and I can't help but wonder when exactly did it stop being the norm for US and how did we let that happen? me too. I have seen natural heads all of my life around me, I guess I was just blessed to see natural 3,4 healthy, long/short heads as not a rarity, IDK. I tend to not participate in a lot of these threads because it is just not my experience, and I refuse to buy into it.

I grew up in a time when women wore afros and puffs and cornrows without enduring funny stares and comments. Wearing your hair natural didn't require soul searching and courage. You either wore your hair natural or you ran a hot comb through it and wore it straight and no one questioned your sense of blackness. As long the hair was neat and attractive, we ALL were black and beautiful.

The fact that our hair can go from curly or kinky to straight with just the stroke of a flat iron or hot comb is what makes our hair unique and so intriguing to others. Back in the day, we accepted that our hair required more patience and effort to maintain because it was part of who we are and the hair we were born with. This is why seeing so many black women struggling with the idea of maintaining or handling natural hair still amazes me at times.
Learning that so many black women have or had no idea of what their natural texture is was a real eye opener. I used to hate those hot comb sessions when I was a child and teen (my Mom would burn my scalp and try to tell me it was heat from the comb), but I'm glad for them, because even after 20 years of being relaxed, I still remember my natural texture well (which is why I think nothing of stretching my relaxers, even though my stylist wishes I wouldn't do it). And lately I've been wanting my 'old' hair back, even if I have to run a hot comb through it to keep it straight like I used to. ITA!!!!I could have written this post! I remember that feeling of relief when they were done with those fire heated tools! This is my experience and I grew up in a predominantly white state in the midwest, in the middle of nowhere. It is sad & perplexing to me to read the things I see on here. It makes me sad and wonder what happened and when did it happen? Something happened and the knowledge of how to deal with/appreciate our hair stopped being passed on. I still have days when I miss my natural hair too. I know I will go back to it eventually. Technically I have been natural more of my life than relaxed. In the past everytime I would get a relaxer, I would end up "transitioning".

I long for the return of the days when a sister doesn't need to round up her family/friends and announce she's going natural; when she can just step out of the house wearing her hair HER way, and not the way she's "supposed" to wear it, and be admired for it. Only then will going natural stop being such a "big deal" and simply be a style preference.

Me too. We really need to get back to that. Even back in the day, of course the anti-natural comments, preferences etc. existed and so many of us were proudly and confidently natural in spite of this!So we need to not be so susceptible to what "some" think. I just refuse to buy into this relaxed vs. natural "modern mentality." OP, in the end you have to do what makes you happy and be confident in that. Tune all of the other crap out. Before you know it your twa will seem to be just growing, growing! Enjoy the length you have while it lasts, especially now that it's summer. This time next year, will be different!

 

[MonPetite]

^^^^If you feel like saying congrats then say it. But what YOU would do is not always what others would do. You can't expect people to think exactly how you think.

Didja' miss the whole, "Me, myself, moi" part? I'm thinking so.

I am sure in real life that when a woman that was natural decides to relax, and people who are very pro-straight hair see her they will be fawning all over her. She can take that as a CONGRATS!!! If that's what she wants.

I suppose, but this is a hair forum for supporting everyone in pursuing long hair. That is the offline world, in which we know lines are drawn in society between relaxed and natural. Those sentiments shouldn't carry on here, it's part of the point of LHCF being in existence.

I guess if you don't see it being done often, why don't you be the first to start saying congrats to someone that decides to go back to chemical whether it be relaxed or textlax or texturizer.

I will think back to your stirring call to action and do the same. Thank you for the encouragement to lead by example.

 

[MonPetite]

Me too. We really need to get back to that. Even back in the day, of course the anti-natural comments, preferences etc. existed and so many of us were proudly and confidently natural in spite of this!So we need to not be so susceptible to what "some" think. I just refuse to buy into this relaxed vs. natural "modern mentality." OP, in the end you have to do what makes you happy and be confident in that. Tune all of the other crap out. Before you know it your twa will seem to be just growing, growing! Enjoy the length you have while it lasts, especially now that it's summer. This time next year, will be different!

Unfortunately I don't have the option of "not buying in".

I'm ridiculed by family and by those I don't even know with their stares of disgust or amusement.

As if I am a side show act they can blatantly stare at for their own pleasure.

I am in the middle of the midwest and this foolishness almost broke my resolve. Which is saying something for a former ethni-pink-raver-goth.

I thank you for your kind encouragment and great additions to this thread. It's true...this time next year...it WILL be different. Such a simple, but sweet sentiment. I think I will apply that to more in life than just hair!

I just want my ears covered. That length, to me is stop-watching-the-pot-boil-length. I can do many of the styles I did before...even some of my chopstick ones with that so I won't feel restricted anymore.

 

[Whimsy]

So...does any one else ever miss their length?
oh yeah, i was too amazed at myself w/ short hair when i BC'd that i didn't care too much about length at first. after a few months i cared and wanted length again, bigtime! but i'm just fickle like that
Does anyone else feel shrinkage bothers them more than they'd normally admit?
i actually enjoyed the shrinkage when i was natural. a wash n go was short then when i twisted it would graze my shoulders and i was happy to have the variety. it only annoyed me when i was trying to straighten
Does anyone else think there's a lack of love for those who go back to relaxers?
this i can't really agree with. i was natural when i first joined here, then i texlaxed again and got love/compliments from everyone who read my thread.

 

[Evazhair]

Unfortunately I don't have the option of "not buying in".

I'm ridiculed by family and by those I don't even know with their stares of disgust or amusement. I wish I could give you some of my not give a f-ness. I know it is hard to deal with "stuff" from your loved ones. I think for family unless they are just pure hateful they probably say/act out of misguided love. Maybe it's a little shock because they are used to seeing you with longer hair. I would cuss the hateful ones/others out! j/k sorta!
Try your best to ignore them/remain steadfast. They'll probably change their tune in time.

As if I am a side show act they can blatantly stare at for their own pleasure. At least they notice you. My father walked right past me at an airport the first time he saw me with a TWA! He was there to pick me up!
I was like for a few seconds, but now I lol thinking about it.


I am in the middle of the midwest and this foolishness almost broke my resolve. Which is saying something for a former ethni-pink-raver-goth.
Be Strong!

I thank you for your kind encouragment and great additions to this thread. It's true...this time next year...it WILL be different. Such a simple, but sweet sentiment. I think I will apply that to more in life than just hair!

I just want my ears covered. That length, to me is stop-watching-the-pot-boil-length. I can do many of the styles I did before...even some of my chopstick ones with that so I won't feel restricted anymore.

I feel you. It's coming.

OT: I tried and now love Jason Biotin because of your review. I agreed that I would be crazy not to try it because I love a tingling scalp!

 

[MonPetite]

I feel you. It's coming.

OT: I tried and now love Jason Biotin because of your review. I agreed that I would be crazy not to try it because I love a tingling scalp!

LOL! Yay for the tingle! I'm glad my review was useful!

 

[LiberianGirl]

So...does any one else ever miss their length?

Not really. I chose to be a long term transitioner because I did not want super short hair..and would have gone even longer if I did not have breakage issues. I am enjoying my current length because this length is "new" to me. I KNOW that I don't want long relaxed/texlaxed/texturized hair so I have no other choice but to wait until my natural hair gets longer. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE.

Does anyone else feel shrinkage bothers them more than they'd normally admit?

Shrinkage is annoying, however, as my hair gets longer it appears to be less of an issue. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE.

Does anyone else think there's a lack of love for those who go back to relaxers?

Eh...not that I've noticed. I actually feel that people who relax after being natural get a "pass" because they can't possibly be self hating because they were natural for so many years.

I am truly enjoying my natural journey.

 

[IntelligenceisBeautiful]

This is an interesting post, I love my natural hair, but there are times I feel like relaxing, not often but I do feel like it at times

 

[RedVelvet310]

When my hair grow to a certain length I am more than POSITIVE i will relax one. After being a lurker and member of this site, I not realize that black hair CAN grow. So I have this versatile.. growing hair, if I decided to relax it, I can just as easily decide to BC and grow it natural again. =) But I am 110% sure that once my natural hair gets to a certain length I'm probably gonna be tired of the style by then and decide to relax/texturize it.. whatever I feel.

 

[FindingMe]

I say just do you...I've been relaxed, then BC'd then grew out natural to APL, then texturized, then relaxed and now I'm transitioning again from APL this time without the BC...it's your hair, do with it what you feel like when you feel like it. Again, it's your hair. Outside folks shouldn't really have that much of a say on how you feel about and wear your hair...do you... Pretty hair to me is pretty hair, it can be natural, texlaxed, or relaxed bone-straight. Doesn't matter...

 

[AtlantaJJ]

I am watching the cheeeeezy show Real World on MTV. There are two natural sis's on there one 3b/c the other 4 a/b - she has me all excited about my future... Her hair must be about 14 ins long...she's wearing a wash and go look of some sort, she is beautiful. I'm willing to endure this natural thing...for me I just need some length to make up for the shrinkage.

ETA: relaxing is not an option for me...