Before you settle down....
- Thread starter Cinda2503
- Start date
Absolute Minimum Requirements (non-negotiable): Bachelor's Degree and have traveled internationally, ALONE, at least once. I've done both.
That being said, so much focus is on tangible, "independent" woman type things. What about those emotional and spiritual things that you want to have accomplished:
- I want a clear picture of what I want the next 10 years of my life to look like WITH action plans behind how I plan to get there. It doesn't mean that upon meeting the right person, those plans won't change (because they should and most definitely will). And I hope my partner would have the same. It's not so much WHAT he's about as the notion that he's about SOMETHING.
- Greater acceptance of who I am - physically, spiritually, emotionally
- I actually want to be less "controlling" or "domineering" or whatever the word is. I want to find that line between being ambitious but also accepting the input and involvement of others. WIP.
That being said, so much focus is on tangible, "independent" woman type things. What about those emotional and spiritual things that you want to have accomplished:
- I want a clear picture of what I want the next 10 years of my life to look like WITH action plans behind how I plan to get there. It doesn't mean that upon meeting the right person, those plans won't change (because they should and most definitely will). And I hope my partner would have the same. It's not so much WHAT he's about as the notion that he's about SOMETHING.
- Greater acceptance of who I am - physically, spiritually, emotionally
- I actually want to be less "controlling" or "domineering" or whatever the word is. I want to find that line between being ambitious but also accepting the input and involvement of others. WIP.
Channie
Member
These, and I want to live completely alone for at least a year or two.
locabouthair
Well-Known Member
I want to live on my own
travel to at least 4 different countries
already establish my career
travel to at least 4 different countries
already establish my career
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
I really want to ebe done with school but that mean sputting my entire love life on hold for 7 more years...something has got to give. Ill take whatever is thrown at me at this point.
treybaby2005
Well-Known Member
live alone for two years.check
finish college.check
travel with friends.check
be financially stable.check
learn how to cook.
I'm working on that
finish college.check
travel with friends.check
be financially stable.check
learn how to cook.
I'm working on that
shorthairdiva09
New Member
i want a doctorate in clinical cognitive therapy
my own car and apartment
mental stability
confidence
my own car and apartment
mental stability
confidence
tocktick
Well-Known Member
- completed university
- travelled to quite a few international destinations
- lived in 1-2 different countries for 1-2 years.
- stable job at a middleweight or senior position.
- more at peace with myself (i don't think women should rely totally on their partner to be fulfilled, happy etc).
- saved enough money to provide my share of the deposit for our 1st house.
- travelled to quite a few international destinations
- lived in 1-2 different countries for 1-2 years.
- stable job at a middleweight or senior position.
- more at peace with myself (i don't think women should rely totally on their partner to be fulfilled, happy etc).
- saved enough money to provide my share of the deposit for our 1st house.
bLackButtaFly
Well-Known Member
- Have stable job where i'm making a great salary
- Have gone on a few trips
-Either own my own home, or have a sizable down payment saved
-Be spiritually sound
-Be the type of woman my ideal type of man would want to be with
-Be open, confident, loving and wise enough to be in a stable loving relationship
- Have gone on a few trips
-Either own my own home, or have a sizable down payment saved
-Be spiritually sound
-Be the type of woman my ideal type of man would want to be with
-Be open, confident, loving and wise enough to be in a stable loving relationship
AstroQueen77
Well-Known Member
I want to be truly happy with where I am in life and just enjoy that over a period of years. So many women think marriage is the key to happiness, it should only be the icing on the cake for a woman who is already content with her own life.
I definitely desire to live alone and have my own house and climbing up my career. I want to focus on things that interest me and truly be selfish with my needs-just pamper myself is what I mean. Im engaged, so this is what Im going to be doing for a while. We are still young, so there is no rush right now to marry.
I definitely desire to live alone and have my own house and climbing up my career. I want to focus on things that interest me and truly be selfish with my needs-just pamper myself is what I mean. Im engaged, so this is what Im going to be doing for a while. We are still young, so there is no rush right now to marry.
LongTimeComing
Well-Known Member
I want to finish undergrad and maybe a professional program or master's degree.
I want to travel internationally and all over the US.
I want to buy my first home.
Be established in my career.
Have true joy and peace from God.
Then I MIGHT be ready to share my life with somebody
I want to travel internationally and all over the US.
I want to buy my first home.
Be established in my career.
Have true joy and peace from God.
Then I MIGHT be ready to share my life with somebody
TriniStarr
New Member
~I want to obtain my MBA
~I want to travel internationally with girlfriends
~Be Financial stability
~Purchase my first home
~Be well established in my career.
~Find true joy and peace from God.
~Be the type of woman my ideal type of man would want to be with
~Be open, confident, loving and wise enough to be in a stable loving relationship
sorry bLackButtaFly, i took my last two statements from you.
~I want to travel internationally with girlfriends
~Be Financial stability
~Purchase my first home
~Be well established in my career.
~Find true joy and peace from God.
~Be the type of woman my ideal type of man would want to be with
~Be open, confident, loving and wise enough to be in a stable loving relationship
sorry bLackButtaFly, i took my last two statements from you.
alwayzalady22
New Member
i've already finished undergrad and was fortunate enough to live abroad for 4 months on my own, so i'm glad i got that out of the way i would like to either get a graduate degree or be well on my way to attaining the position i want in the field of my choice....
i definitely want to take the opportunity to live and work in a place that's not chicago (my home), since that's where i hope to settle down and raise my children... i'm about to start a 10 month internship out in PA, so i'm on my way to accomplishing that goal too.
i REALLY want to experience "dating around"... as juvenile as that may sound, i've never really dated multiple men at one time and just enjoyed myself... i don't want to go into a marriage wishing that i had played the field a little bit
i do want to have my finances right, that would be the BUSINESS for me right there!
i would like to either get a graduate degree or be well on my way to attaining the position i want in the field of my choice....i definitely want to take the opportunity to live and work in a place that's not chicago (my home), since that's where i hope to settle down and raise my children... i'm about to start a 10 month internship out in PA, so i'm on my way to accomplishing that goal too.
i REALLY want to experience "dating around"... as juvenile as that may sound, i've never really dated multiple men at one time and just enjoyed myself... i don't want to go into a marriage wishing that i had played the field a little bit
i do want to have my finances right, that would be the BUSINESS for me right there!
Cinda2503
New Member
i've already finished undergrad and was fortunate enough to live abroad for 4 months on my own, so i'm glad i got that out of the way
i definitely want to take the opportunity to live and work in a place that's not chicago (my home), since that's where i hope to settle down and raise my children... i'm about to start a 10 month internship out in PA, so i'm on my way to accomplishing that goal too.
i REALLY want to experience "dating around"... as juvenile as that may sound, i've never really dated multiple men at one time and just enjoyed myself... i don't want to go into a marriage wishing that i had played the field a little bit
i do want to have my finances right, that would be the BUSINESS for me right there!
I don't think that's juvenile. I need to do more of that myself.
sunshinebeautiful
Well-Known Member
Nope. I'm 27 and feel like I've reached a point where I've done a lot of the things I've wanted to do. Whatever there is left to achieve we can achieve together.
My finances aren't perfect, but they're good.
I'm almost done with a Ph.D.
I don't make a lot, but my income will go up once I finish this degree.
I will graduate with relatively little debt - thank God for scholarships and fellowships!
I've lived alone.
I've traveled abroad. Well, to the Caribbean. I would like to travel somewhere else, but that's optional right now. I'll have time to do it later, if I so choose.
I'm really ready.... *putting that out to the universe*
I need to work on opening myself up, being vulnerable, and really letting myself LOVE without fear it may go away someday.
My finances aren't perfect, but they're good.
I'm almost done with a Ph.D.
I don't make a lot, but my income will go up once I finish this degree.
I will graduate with relatively little debt - thank God for scholarships and fellowships!
I've lived alone.
I've traveled abroad. Well, to the Caribbean. I would like to travel somewhere else, but that's optional right now. I'll have time to do it later, if I so choose.
I'm really ready.... *putting that out to the universe*
I need to work on opening myself up, being vulnerable, and really letting myself LOVE without fear it may go away someday.
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**Glamourlicious**
Well-Known Member
I would like to eliminate some debt.
Finish School.
And travel a little more.
Move further into my career...I have been in my field for about 7 years...time to move to a higher level.
I am ready now...but there is always room for improvement so I will work on the things listed above.
Finish School.
And travel a little more.
Move further into my career...I have been in my field for about 7 years...time to move to a higher level.
I am ready now...but there is always room for improvement so I will work on the things listed above.
cocoaluv
Well-Known Member
I have to have done the following before getting married:
- Have my second BS in nursing and worked in the field for awhile
- Pay down most of my student loans
- Have at least 20-30k in the bank
- Travel around the world ( mainly Europe and Asia)
- Own my own Condo
- Be in love
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
I'd rather do the traveling with him. So thats not something I would hurry up and try to do.
DozenRoses99
New Member
live alone for two years.check
finish college.check
travel with friends.check
be financially stable.check
learn how to cook.
Ditto on all 5 things! LOL! I'm in my 30's and have accomplished most things on my pre-marriage list. The only thing left for me at this point is.... the right man.
Amour
Well-Known Member
Q: If you found the love of your life and you both wanted to settle down and take your relationship to the next level (marriage) would you 'postpone' the thought to accomplish your goals first?
This is the situation I am in presently, at 21 I am NOOOOOO where near to accomplishing the goals that I want to achieve and at 22 nor is FH; but we are soooo ready to be married. He is thinking March of next year
but realistically by the end of 2009 
This is the situation I am in presently, at 21 I am NOOOOOO where near to accomplishing the goals that I want to achieve and at 22 nor is FH; but we are soooo ready to be married. He is thinking March of next year
but realistically by the end of 2009
Cinda2503
New Member
Q: If you found the love of your life and you both wanted to settle down and take your relationship to the next level (marriage) would you 'postpone' the thought to accomplish your goals first?
This is the situation I am in presently, at 21 I am NOOOOOO where near to accomplishing the goals that I want to achieve and at 22 nor is FH; but we are soooo ready to be married. He is thinking March of next year
At 21 years old you should not have to postpone anything for anybody.
So no, I would not sacrifice what I want in order to take my relationship to the next level at the age of 21.
At my age now, the only thing I need is $$$ in the bank. I have done eveything I wanted to do as a single girl.
And the $$$ in the bank I am working on now.
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chicacanella
New Member
Yeah, I want at least 25k in the bank and this is after paying all my loans and other bills off.
Before children, I would like to have at least 100k in the bank and hopefully my husband will be somewhere around the same.
Duchesse
Well-Known Member
I have a never ending list of things that I feel I MUST do before relaxing into a real relationship.
--finish grad school
--travel abroad several times
--have BSL length hair (okay...obviously not an essential but a plus)
--have 30,000 min. saved up (so we can try to collectively own property..he besta have alot more)
--live alone w/o roomates for at least a year
--and date a bit more like I see on TV
Of course if I met the man of dreams tomorrow I would gladly settle down while achieving my goals. (..but something tells me i will have plenty of time before that happens)
--finish grad school
--travel abroad several times
--have BSL length hair (okay...obviously not an essential but a plus)
--have 30,000 min. saved up (so we can try to collectively own property..he besta have alot more
)--live alone w/o roomates for at least a year
--and date a bit more like I see on TV
Of course if I met the man of dreams tomorrow I would gladly settle down while achieving my goals. (..but something tells me i will have plenty of time before that happens)
LaPetiteCoquette
New Member
I wish I traveled more before I got married. Even when I travel with him, it is as a wife. And we don't travel too much, because we have a very aggressive savings plan in place. That's an important thing I would advocate a single girl to do on her own. Other than that, nothing else was really too imp. to me b/c we worked together to attain the other things -- our condo, our savings and investments, our car, etc.
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