Basic Mistakes to avoid for Late Boomers?

prettyfaceANB said:
Late booming in the dating world?

Anything in particular you want to know?
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"things not to do when talking to a guy"
how to know if someone is flirting or not?
how do you accept or reject an offer to go out on a date?
how to let a guy know you are interested?
how not to get too anxious or look desperate?
what do you do when someone says "ay shawtay"?
when is a compliment just a compliment?
how to not overanalyze things?
conversation starters?

i could go on an on.
 
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It's so funny you posted this. I was just thinking this to myself tonight while driving home. My birthday is in a few weeks - 33! - and I found myself getting down thinking about how so many of my classmates from high school not only are married already but have 2 and 3 kids! But then I thought to myself, "Well, I'm just a late bloomer."
 
One thing that I learned over time is that you have to keep yourself busy. When you are dating make sure that you have hobbies and outlets that are not centered around being with a man. Focus on you. Do not make yourself available to a man all of the time. If he knows that you are not trying to be up under him all of the time and that you have other things going on ,this makes him more interested in you because you will be considered different from all of the other women.
You want to make sure that the man is adding to your already happy life and is not the main aspect of your life that makes you happy.
 
Napp said:
"things not to do when talking to a guy"
how to know if someone is flirting or not?
how do you accept or reject an offer to go out on a date?
how to let a guy know you are interested?
how not to get too anxious or look desperate?
what do you do when someone says "ay shawtay"?
when is a compliment just a compliment?
how to not overanalyze things?
conversation starters?

i could go on an on.
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Rule #1: Ignore LHCF's bs rules or you'll never get out the dugout, let alone up to bat. :lol: And based on this rule, feel free to disregard the rest of my post.
Rule #2: Do what feels natural.

Rule #3: Recognize that men have feelings too and that they are just as confused about 'dating' as we are. And there are ways you can be assertive and honest without being mean or insensitive - know the difference.

Rule #4: Trust your gut. When it's right you'll know it. And if something doesn't feel right, it probably ain't right. Your intuition has gotten you this far in life. No need to start doubting it now, just cuz the subject may be 6'4", bowlegged and :lick:. :lol:

Rule #5: When things don't turn out as expected, take a step back and look at how you might have contributed to the situation. Don't accept 100% blame, but don't fall into the trap of thinking you're always 100% innocent either.

Rule #6: Get out the house!! Dating isn't a passive activity. Go. Do. Things. And leave your girlfriends at home...

Rule #7: Smile and eye-contact can go a long way. :grin:

Rules #8, 9, 10: Have fun!!!

ETA: Oh, and Rule #11: Come and spill your guts so we have something to read when we don't feel like writing papers, doing work or deep conditioning...
 
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The best advice I can think of: Pay more attention to his actions than words, many men will try to use flowery words and flattery to worm their way into your life and alot of women fall for it without really knowing the man's true intentions.

Listen more than you talk, that way you'll weed out the frogs eventually, a frog can only hide his ugliness for so long:lol:

Have fun! Dating should be enjoyable...don't think too much into it, don't go in with the expectation that he will be your next boyfriend.

Just have fun and don't pressure yourself about anything:yep:
 
Etherealsmile said:
The best advice I can think of: Pay more attention to his actions than words, many men will try to use flowery words and flattery to worm their way into your life and alot of women fall for it without really knowing the man's true intentions.

Listen more than you talk, that way you'll weed out the frogs eventually, a frog can only hide his ugliness for so long:lol:

Have fun! Dating should be enjoyable...don't think too much into it, don't go in with the expectation that he will be your next boyfriend.

Just have fun and don't pressure yourself about anything:yep:
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Love this whole post...Yes.
 
get the book the Laws of Seduction...its by the same guy that did 48 laws of power...i have an extra copy if you want to buy it, otherwise see if its in the library or something.
 
My rule is smile and laugh alot. It makes you feel good and men are deathly attracted to a happy women.

Always look your best when you're going to see him. He'll appreciate it more than you know.

You don't have to color if you dont want to and its best you dont until you know its serious.

If you always wait for the guy to show interest first, you may not get many dates. This is a hard lesson I am learning. Alot of guys are just as afraid of rejection.
 
prettyfaceANB said:
My rule is smile and laugh alot. It makes you feel good and men are deathly attracted to a happy women.

Always look your best when you're going to see him. He'll appreciate it more than you know.

You don't have to color if you dont want to and its best you dont until you know its serious.

If you always wait for the guy to show interest first, you may not get many dates. This is a hard lesson I am learning. Alot of guys are just as afraid of rejection.
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The bolded is TRUTH! Yes they are. They dont care for mean muggin women who always have issues, always complaining about their issues and everyone else, always talking about other women and being catty. I could go on and on.

I love looking my best around my SO, it makes both of us feel good and I have fun doing it. I love taking care of myself period.
 
1. Dont do things you dont want to do
2. Dont get pressured into situations/ corners you dont want to be in
3. Say what you mean
4. Learn to say a firm simple no
5.Dont compare yourself to others, especially those that have more 'experience'
i) Dont try and keep up with others
6. Be true to yourself
7. Be open to new experiences
8. Be safe ( pay attention to your mental, physical and sexual health)
 
Alot of it is the overanalyzing part. Lessons and practice have taught me that it really is as simple as whatever was done is probably what was meant:

  • If I felt like I was put on hold I probably was
  • If it was more than a compliment, more would have been done
  • If he wanted to ask me out, he would
  • If he wanted to do xyz, he would have already
  • If I don't feel good about xyz, don't do it, be around it, etc.
And really like the last one, if it's not what you want, don't move forward.
Your gut really is your guide. Even if you catch yourself doubting your gut, at the very least stop and pull back when it tells you something is wrong and then see what happens.
 
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This is such GREAT advice ladies! :yep:

I too am a "late bloomer" :grin: But I'm not stressing.

Some of these lessons I've already learned while dealing w/different guys, but other lessons I'm sure I'll have to learn as time goes by.

Great thread OP! :grin:
 
Never pursue (calling, making dates, s3xin', etc.). Show interest but let him do the calling, requesting dates, etc... State what you want and let him do the rest.

Men need the challenge and we need to know that they want us.

Never settle for less than what you're comfortable with and know you deserve. You'll regret it or resent him or both.
 
Syrah said:
Rule #6: Get out the house!! Dating isn't a passive activity. Go. Do. Things. And leave your girlfriends at home...
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THIS!!! I have a problem with one of my Gf's always wanting to go out with me.

I purposely avoid her from Wednesday - Saturday. So I can go out and do me WITHOUT her!
 
I need this thread. I need to learn to flirt and how to read other people's body language. I feel like people are probably interested in me sometimes, but I just don't realize it in time to capitalize on it--I can be somewhat charming sometimes (my ex taught me well).
 
^^^I wouldn't say you're a late bloomer at all. You're pretty young and have already had a serious relationship :yep: But I hear you on wanting to get more tips on flirting and body language.

how are you doing these days?
 
MarriageMaterial said:
THIS!!! I have a problem with one of my Gf's always wanting to go out with me.

I purposely avoid her from Wednesday - Saturday. So I can go out and do me WITHOUT her!
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Where are you going alone? I want to do this more.. not just to find men but more female friends as well...make connections in general..I just don't know where/what I would do
 
BGT said:
@rafikichick92, y'all broke up? :sad:
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BGT, yes, we broke up on Oct 20. But right now, I MAY have 2 possibilities, I'm just not sure due to my inability to judge interest if they are actually interested in me or if I'm just imagining things.

Just this weekend, some guy had a crush on this girl and everyone was commenting on this and I couldn't even tell that he had a crush on her.
 
Have a set of non-negotiable standards. Sometimes this takes a while (years) to develop as you begin to understand yourself, your limitations, and what you simply can not tolerate long term. This will separate the guys you go out with just for fun and those that have serious potential. You don't want to go into any dating situation thinking everyone can be the one when clearly thats not going to be the case.

Example...a potential husband must be god-fearing, attractive, educated, financial stable, and in excellent physical shape.

They should be things that you can assess about a person quickly before you decide to invest into it.
 
Glib Gurl said:
^^^I wouldn't say you're a late bloomer at all. You're pretty young and have already had a serious relationship :yep: But I hear you on wanting to get more tips on flirting and body language.

how are you doing these days?
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I'm better now that school's out for the summer. I just got back from Alabama, helping out tornado victims which was gratifying. Other than that, I'm just living life.
 
cutiebe2 said:
Where are you going alone? I want to do this more.. not just to find men but more female friends as well...make connections in general..I just don't know where/what I would do
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cutiebe2 theatres (wicked, etc), dinner/movies on thursdays (sit at bar), sit in a coffee shop on a saturday morning (just an 1 hour) men are rushing in for their coffee, etc.
 
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