AskA GTv - How To Make A Man See You As More Than Sex
- Thread starter Crackers Phinn
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Bunny77
New Member
Eh... 
I've never been opposed to the whole idea of waiting to have sex and I think that waiting would do folks a LOT of good... but I dunno, his reasoning seems to play on the fallacy that there are very few good men for good women, so if you want to "get" a good man, keep your legs closed.
Meanwhile, this "good man" might be sleeping with a bunch of other women, but he'll eventually see the light and choose you because you didn't sleep with him.
So I'm thinking, uh, so what prize do I win? A man who sleeps with a bunch of random women? Yippee! (not)
Also, the whole thing was about competition... what women "have" to do to "win" a man... isn't that the problem women are facing right now? Men aren't working to prove themselves worthy to us, but we're being told that we have to prove to them that we're worthy? Uh, that's not the way it's been done historically... and if men keep pushing the whole "let the man be the man," concept, then where is the talk of how he should be proving to a woman that he's deserving of her? Cause that's what "good men" do, right? Pursue?
I'm not against the message, but I'm against the reasons behind the message. Waiting doesn't do any good, IMO, if you're "waiting" to catch a dude who's willing to stick it in every woman walking. Thanks, but I'll pass...
I've never been opposed to the whole idea of waiting to have sex and I think that waiting would do folks a LOT of good... but I dunno, his reasoning seems to play on the fallacy that there are very few good men for good women, so if you want to "get" a good man, keep your legs closed.
Meanwhile, this "good man" might be sleeping with a bunch of other women, but he'll eventually see the light and choose you because you didn't sleep with him.
So I'm thinking, uh, so what prize do I win? A man who sleeps with a bunch of random women? Yippee! (not)
Also, the whole thing was about competition... what women "have" to do to "win" a man... isn't that the problem women are facing right now? Men aren't working to prove themselves worthy to us, but we're being told that we have to prove to them that we're worthy? Uh, that's not the way it's been done historically... and if men keep pushing the whole "let the man be the man," concept, then where is the talk of how he should be proving to a woman that he's deserving of her? Cause that's what "good men" do, right? Pursue?
I'm not against the message, but I'm against the reasons behind the message. Waiting doesn't do any good, IMO, if you're "waiting" to catch a dude who's willing to stick it in every woman walking. Thanks, but I'll pass...
cutiebe2
Well-Known Member
he made some good points...but he kept moving his head which was distracting and annoying
I think its true that if you do sleep with a man, don't expect him to see you are more than a sleeping parter when you have yet to make another type of connection
the video get a B
I think its true that if you do sleep with a man, don't expect him to see you are more than a sleeping parter when you have yet to make another type of connection
the video get a B
cocoberry10
Well-Known Member
I think both Bunny and cutieb2 made great points!
This one was kinda funny too (but a little corny)
What Men Want and the Question Women Should Ask Themselves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qd2DU1XRidY&feature=related
This one was kinda funny too (but a little corny)
What Men Want and the Question Women Should Ask Themselves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qd2DU1XRidY&feature=related
Last edited:
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
I agree with everything you said @ the bolded though - I think part of his point is that if you hold off on sex it's likely that you can find out what kinda dude you're dealing without giving yourself to someone unworthy.
I believe in everything that he said.From my experiences this is true.I have a 1 year sex rule and it works EVERY time.I have even convinced a few of my friends to start a 3 month rule(they ain't going a year) and it's working for them also.Now,some women are only looking to have sex also so these rules would not apply,but if you are looking for a good quality man that will love you and respect the goddess that you are then waiting is the answer...Anyone that won't wait with you does not deserve you anyways..IMo.
Much2much41
Well-Known Member
Eh...
I've never been opposed to the whole idea of waiting to have sex and I think that waiting would do folks a LOT of good... but I dunno, his reasoning seems to play on the fallacy that there are very few good men for good women, so if you want to "get" a good man, keep your legs closed.
Meanwhile, this "good man" might be sleeping with a bunch of other women, but he'll eventually see the light and choose you because you didn't sleep with him.
So I'm thinking, uh, so what prize do I win? A man who sleeps with a bunch of random women? Yippee! (not)
Also, the whole thing was about competition... what women "have" to do to "win" a man... isn't that the problem women are facing right now? Men aren't working to prove themselves worthy to us, but we're being told that we have to prove to them that we're worthy? Uh, that's not the way it's been done historically... and if men keep pushing the whole "let the man be the man," concept, then where is the talk of how he should be proving to a woman that he's deserving of her? Cause that's what "good men" do, right? Pursue?
I'm not against the message, but I'm against the reasons behind the message. Waiting doesn't do any good, IMO, if you're "waiting" to catch a dude who's willing to stick it in every woman walking. Thanks, but I'll pass...
I don't think he necessarily meant a woman is to pursue the man. I think he meant that the way to actually get a good man interested in you is not by having sex with him at the first opportunity, but to show him that your real qualities are you as a person and what you're capable of, not what's between your legs. I think he could have worded it better, though. I also agree that I don't want someone who sees so little worth in women or himself that he has a ridiculous number of sex partners while refusing to commit to anyone, as if women are nothing but sperm receptacles. Overall, I agree that some women give it up WAY too soon, then wonder why men are not interested in marriage.
Bunny77
New Member
I think I'm just in a cynical mood tonight... hearing/reading too much from men saying what women are doing wrong, like their **** don't stink... plus I wonder how many of those giving "advice" are the men I'd want anyway.
But like everyone else said, I definitely agree with holding off on sex to let a man get to know you for you... I practice this myself... but also, a woman should hold off from sex to get to know the man so SHE can determine whether he's worth it or not. I think I didn't like how this guy seemed to put the emphasis on women holding off so men could "pick" them, not so that both parties can learn more about each other and develop a stronger relationship.
Anyway, that's just me though.
But like everyone else said, I definitely agree with holding off on sex to let a man get to know you for you... I practice this myself... but also, a woman should hold off from sex to get to know the man so SHE can determine whether he's worth it or not. I think I didn't like how this guy seemed to put the emphasis on women holding off so men could "pick" them, not so that both parties can learn more about each other and develop a stronger relationship.
Anyway, that's just me though.
Nola Darling
New Member
Here's a response I got from him after several comments and youtube messages:
As for "the game" I am in 100% agreement with you and your SO. The game is ridiculous filled with immature traps that lead to pain and resentment. My goal is to educate females on the reality of the game to at minimum have them caution there steps with wisdom. In no way do I advocate the game, because we all lose and ultimately will not find the relationships that we deserve to all share in. There is no question that honesty is the only productive way for two people to successfully make the transition from I to We, but unfortunately honesty isn't as common place as we would like and "the game" is a reality that most single individuals participate in. So I just hope I'm helping provide some insight to the realities of it. Right, Wrong, or Indifferently.
As for "the game" I am in 100% agreement with you and your SO. The game is ridiculous filled with immature traps that lead to pain and resentment. My goal is to educate females on the reality of the game to at minimum have them caution there steps with wisdom. In no way do I advocate the game, because we all lose and ultimately will not find the relationships that we deserve to all share in. There is no question that honesty is the only productive way for two people to successfully make the transition from I to We, but unfortunately honesty isn't as common place as we would like and "the game" is a reality that most single individuals participate in. So I just hope I'm helping provide some insight to the realities of it. Right, Wrong, or Indifferently.
Maa Maa omo mti
New Member
I think he is on point.
Being that we aren't experts and can't take for guys I believe he is dead on: a guy's perspective of what a woman should do.
I am not picking on anyone, but really finding fault on issues that we keep messing up on day in day out is not going to help us stop making the same mistakes. Many of us want to be married one day, I guess it's time to shut up listen and absurb the info and not nitpick. For all we know it could just work.
Being that we aren't experts and can't take for guys I believe he is dead on: a guy's perspective of what a woman should do.
I am not picking on anyone, but really finding fault on issues that we keep messing up on day in day out is not going to help us stop making the same mistakes. Many of us want to be married one day, I guess it's time to shut up listen and absurb the info and not nitpick. For all we know it could just work.
No, it's not just youI think I'm just in a cynical mood tonight... hearing/reading too much from men saying what women are doing wrong, like their **** don't stink... plus I wonder how many of those giving "advice" are the men I'd want anyway.
But like everyone else said, I definitely agree with holding off on sex to let a man get to know you for you... I practice this myself... but also, a woman should hold off from sex to get to know the man so SHE can determine whether he's worth it or not. I think I didn't like how this guy seemed to put the emphasis on women holding off so men could "pick" them, not so that both parties can learn more about each other and develop a stronger relationship.
Anyway, that's just me though.
. (I knew you were a fellow Scorpio by reading your post, LOL 
)ITA with the 1st bolded. Men who dish out advice to women are usually the last person you'd want. Yes, it is good to wait. But why wait for some man's benefit? If you are "Ms. Right" a men usually know it right away. (believe it or not). If you are "Ms. Right Now", you can wait until the cows come home, and it won't make a bit of difference. I don't think it's useful to do something based how you think a man will react to it.
I've tended to put my needs and values first. If a man's needs and values happened to coincide with mine, that was a bonus. I've been proposed to 3 times in my life, and married once. I chose not to wait with my DH and he never had an issue with it. We got married 2 months after meeting, and have been happily married for 13 years.
BeautifulFlower
Well-Known Member
All I can say is that he speaks truth for about 80% of beginning relationships. I am an exception to the rule where I had sex with a guy on the first night and eventually it turned to more. But he is a different kinda man so it happened to work out.
I know women dont like to play "the game". I dont. It dont want to win, I want to be loved. But thats the thing, a man's initial motive is sex and our's is love. You can mask it with whatever thoughts or opinions you like but thats the reality. Women give sex to get love and Men give love to get sex. Women have to begin to stop thinking with only the heart and seeing things from the point of view of a woman. You have to get into a man's head to understand what you DONT have to do to get a man and not what you need to do. Knowledge is power.
IMO!
I know women dont like to play "the game". I dont. It dont want to win, I want to be loved. But thats the thing, a man's initial motive is sex and our's is love. You can mask it with whatever thoughts or opinions you like but thats the reality. Women give sex to get love and Men give love to get sex. Women have to begin to stop thinking with only the heart and seeing things from the point of view of a woman. You have to get into a man's head to understand what you DONT have to do to get a man and not what you need to do. Knowledge is power.
IMO!
aqualung
New Member
He's speaking for hood men who can not control (or choose not to control) their sexual urges. The "sexual monstrosity" is his term for a lack of self control.
Cooking and cleaning and being perfect for a man like this is throwing pearls before swine.
I am my first priority. Men that I date ask me out and sit me down and request exclusivity and time. THEY ask ME to take them seriously and to let them into my life. If I have to beg, that's a red light.
Cooking and cleaning and being perfect for a man like this is throwing pearls before swine.
I am my first priority. Men that I date ask me out and sit me down and request exclusivity and time. THEY ask ME to take them seriously and to let them into my life. If I have to beg, that's a red light.
Bunny77
New Member
And maybe this is the key to the whole thing.
I go on a decent amount of dates with some pretty quality men, and although I know that they are men and want sex, I haven't ended up in a situation where he's trying to sleep with me on the first, second or even third date.
Just by being myself, men have shown respect for me while dating. They've wanted to get to know me. They've taken me out, they've paid for dates and they've managed to behave respectfully toward me, even if they might want to jump my bones at that very second.
I know about the game and I know that all of us have to play some games while going through the dating process, but I hate to say it... there definitely seems to be a bit of a "hood" element surrounding his advice and experiences, because I haven't really had to deal with the type of men that he's talking about... I don't have to prove anything to them, because they're too busy trying to earn my respect and prove to me that they're worthy!
Bunny77
New Member
No, it's not just you
It's that analytical thing, isn't it?
Yup.
And to piggyback on the last post I responded to... it seems that there are certain "types" of men who is consistently giving out this "close your legs" advice... and they seem to be coming from a place I don't really identify with.
But I'll leave that alone for now...
However, if women form better relationships because of what he's saying, more power to him and the women who benefit!
Theo
New Member
I wouldn't be so quick to assume this behavior is in anyway limited in or more predisposed to "hood" guys. That’s just not true. As men mature, they understand more and more that there is more to life than sex (hopefully), also, as women age, they usually get better and better at screening out the good-for-nothings in a lot of different ways, both consciously and unconsciously.
I agree with much of what was said in the video, but then again, I’ve chosen not to engage in sex. I really think it helped me to screen out guys who were not so good for me at a time when I wasn’t mature or experienced enough to do it in other ways. Now I’m a lot better picking out whether someone is worth my time or not… when I was 15/16 that was not the case. Older women shouldn’t need this advice, but sadly a lot of them do.
I agree with much of what was said in the video, but then again, I’ve chosen not to engage in sex. I really think it helped me to screen out guys who were not so good for me at a time when I wasn’t mature or experienced enough to do it in other ways. Now I’m a lot better picking out whether someone is worth my time or not… when I was 15/16 that was not the case. Older women shouldn’t need this advice, but sadly a lot of them do.
I agree with your post. These hood/street types are the ones who think like this. Quality men don't try and get sex on the first date.Also, from my experience they don't try and judge a woman by how long she waits to have sex. If they wait a month, 3 months, 6 months it does not matter. If they want the woman for a longterm relationship they want her period.
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