Arranged marriages...what do you think?

[Austro-Afrikana]

My mum had an arranged marriage and so did many of their friends, and they had a mass wedding.
Alot of the matches were interacial-my mum congolese and my dad austrian...well now that i am 18 my mum wants the same for me! I have a partner whom i have shown to my mum, she said that she will only allow it if he joins the religion...but im not even part of it anymore!
What would you do in my situation?

 

[FlowerHair]

What religion are your parents part of?
You are only 18, are you done with your studies yet?

I would not be part of an arranged marriage if I didn't agree with it. I believe it can work in certain situations, but if you already have a fiancée I wouldn't do it.

Do you live in Austria?
Welcome to the board!

 

[Austro-Afrikana]

Thanks. I live in london and am goin to university this year.
Its a christian religion called unificationist movement.
I would never go through with it with anyone other than my partner-i just want my mum to accept him

 

[justNikki]

ITA with FlowerHair. Don't do it if you don't want to. Focus on your studies until you feel strong enough to deal with the disapproval of your parents, who may never accept your mate. You can't live for your parents though.

 

[FlowerHair]

Thanks. I live in london and am goin to university this year.
Its a christian religion called unificationist movement.
I would never go through with it with anyone other than my partner-i just want my mum to accept him

That's good.
I think at your age it's always a struggle to get your mother to accept your boyfriend mainly because parents are used to you being a child. It's a huge transition for a parent to start seeing their "baby" as an adult with thoughts and views of her own.

Just keep doing what you're doing and try to introduce your boyfriend gradually to your mother.

 

[firecracker]

I don't think they are bad if your ok with it. I know its often time a cultural thing and rooting in some ole timer mess though. Do what is right for you and right now getting your education is priority.

 

[Farida]

If you like the guy you are matched with, I think it's great. If you don't want it, you're an adult, and a young one. Life it too short to spend it trying to make other folk happy. They will either embrace your choice or not. If they choose not to, they CHOSE not to be in your life I suppose. It is not your fault.

 

[LunadeMiel]

Is your Mom Unificationist? Does she follow the reverand Sun young moon?

 

[LunadeMiel]

Thanks. I live in london and am goin to university this year.
Its a christian religion called unificationist movement.
I would never go through with it with anyone other than my partner-i just want my mum to accept him

I just read this. My university was heavily influenced by this religion. I went to school with many children that were the product of these marriages. Based on how the people are matched I would not do it. But I am not against arranged marriages.

 

[drasgrl]

My mum had an arranged marriage and so did many of their friends, and they had a mass wedding.
Alot of the matches were interacial-my mum congolese and my dad austrian...well now that i am 18 my mum wants the same for me! I have a partner whom i have shown to my mum, she said that she will only allow it if he joins the religion...but im not even part of it anymore!
What would you do in my situation?

Lord that sounds scary I remember watching tv about it. Are your parents still married? I would not want to have an arranged marriage with a stranger.

 

[Austro-Afrikana]

^No they are divorced. In fact quite a few of the marriages didnt or arent really working out