Are you natural and in your 20s...come on in

[sydwrites]

I'm in my twenties and the only negative remarks i've gotten have come from people in my family. Like they keep asking me, 'so really, you're not going to perm your hair?'. My last relaxer was in 2006. I say try not to dwell on it too much, family has a way of cutting you better than anyone else and they really dont get how insulting it may be. Your natural hair is beautiful, healthy, and unique to you. I wore my hair straight last week and this guy who is usually all in my face looked at me like I was 'extra regular' now, lol. A little of topic OP - are you in Hype Hair this month? If so that bob is fab!

 

[abordeaux]

I haven't had too much negativity since I did my BC. My SO was pissed at first, but that was because I cut my hair in the middle of the night while he was sleeping. He just more surprised than anything. He loves my hair now. My mom LOVES my hair. She's always had a very nonchalant attitude about hair. She'll be relaxed for a year, then come home with a shaved head. Then she'll stay natural for two years and then get a texturizer. Then shave her head and start all over. When she saw me after I first cut it off she was just gushing.

When I was in TX, I never saw other natural women. Natural hair isn't even sneezed at in NYC. So many women are natural that's it's not really unique. I get lots of compliments from men and women.

I think it's interesting that most AA with this mindset will give "curly" or "good" hair a pass, but if you hair doesn't fit that they'll ask

"when is the last time you combed your hair?"

Which shows their ignorance, b/c combing and all that ruins the curls in the first place! erplexed

ITA.

 

[Casarela]

Yeah me !! it wasnt from my aunt but my mother!!! The first time going natural the first year was a battle with my mom 24/7 she would always have to make a comment BUT when my hair grew long she was all over it. My aunt's husband who.. not that I hate him but he gets on my nerves a lot, came to Montreal to visit us and he was making all kind of suppose to be ''jokes'' and pushed my buttons so badly ..that at several times I felt like bitsh slappin him quite a few times. But I simply answered him before he left that instead of making ignorant comments he should learn to embrace natural beauty in order to raise properly his little gurl ( whos natural) he was like what are you trying to say. I simply smiled at him!

 

[locabouthair]

I was 21 when I wore my hair natural. I got lots of negative comments, was told I looked like a slave, that I needed a perm, etc..I just shrugged it off. you cant please everyone.

 

[chocolate01]

I'm 26 and have been natural since I was 22. I have had nothing but positive experiences from both family and friends. My being natural actually inspired my morther, aunt, and a few friends to go natural as well.

 

[IntelligenceisBeautiful]

I was 21 when I wore my hair natural. I got lots of negative comments, was told I looked like a slave, that I needed a perm, etc..I just shrugged it off. you cant please everyone.

wow, how callous it that??????

ignoranceerplexed

 

[truequeen06]

I've been natural my whole life and my mom would have a heart attack if I ever put a relaxer in my hair and honestly, I don't have the desire too. I have however been an avid presser and when I went away to college, I was forced to do my own hair so, I wore it naturally. My mom wasn't too fond of it at first, but once I learned how to properly do wash n goes and other styles, my hair looked tons better.

I guess I was one of the lucky ones because none of my family has ever had issues with my natural hair.

 

[LiberianGirl]

yes there is this woman at work who constantly smirks and laughs at my hair telling me to get a perm and why dont I cut my hair off if I'm going to wear buns and ponytails...I wear my hair out natural and wavy al the time also but she thinks hair isn't "done" unless its relaxed. Shes supposed to have been a beautician...her hair doesn't look healthy at all to me yet shes the expert she says "i'd be bald before I'd have long hair and wear a mop on y head" " get a perm or somthin" Finally I just told her "do u wear ur hair the way u like to?" and she said yes and I said "well so do I" but thats ur aunt so u can't say that to her lol.

You know their jealous right? Your hair is drop dead gorgeous.

OP, I've gotten a lot of love and compliments regarding my hair from friends, co-workers, strangers, and family.

 

[locabouthair]

wow, how callous it that??????

ignoranceerplexed

yeah my ex said that. that's why he's an ex

 

[luxe.li.]

I live in Belgium. I don't know if my post came across as negative, because that was surely not what I was trying to say. I don't believe that natural hair belongs to a certain age group, that's what I said. But I do know African people that feel that way, my mom is 50 now, and she stopped relaxing five years ago I think. I wish everyone would feel that way about natural hair, because I certainly do, but most Africans here do not feel that way at all, relaxing and wearing weaves or wigs is the norm here. I had an African pastor tell me I needed a relaxer ASAP when I was transitioning. I guess it does depend on where you live.

Ooh no I didn't take it negative I just was unsure of where you lived, because that is surely a culture thing, and its amazing to know that. Its very interesting to know depending on place and culture different things that are considered the norm somewhere, or okay somewhere, is definitely not the norm other places.

 

[ShaniKeys]

Ooh no I didn't take it negative I just was unsure of where you lived, because that is surely a culture thing, and its amazing to know that. Its very interesting to know depending on place and culture different things that are considered the norm somewhere, or okay somewhere, is definitely not the norm other places.

You're right, it is interesting.

 

[Kurli-Q]

My family calls me Buckwheat. They hate my natural hair and always ask me when I'm going to "fix" it. But it's funny, b/c when other people are around and gushing about my hair then all of a sudden my family members like to act like they supported me 100% from the beginning.

 

[ebaby]

I an a twenty something natural and I am loving my natural hair. My husband hates it but who cares. It is a part of me just like those big ears that are a part of him.

 

[msa]

I've been natural my whole life but now that I'm in my 20's it's more of a negative thing than it was before. When I was in college on the East Coast it was fine but being back home in Los Angeles it's a whole different story.

I think it's because the city is so focused on outward beauty and for a black woman that means a full face of make up and 26" pin straight yaki weave. Since my hair is neither straight nor long, I'm not considered glamorous, sophisticated, pretty, together, done, "that girl", etc. Natural hair is automatically unacceptable if you want to be considered a beautiful woman. So, it's not so much that I get a lot of negative comments said to me, but that I'm not even considered by men at all.

I've had conversations about this with guy friends and their ideal woman just doesn't have natural hair unless it's straight. They always say my hair looks great and it fits me perfectly, it's just that natural hair automatically puts me in the "cute friend" category and not the "dateable vixen" category. That's definitely disconcerting, but I don't need to be attractive to everyone, just the one I'm going to marry.

 

[Lynnerie]

When I announced I was going natural my parents told me not to but after they saw the TWA they liked it and my Mom is transitioning now.

I have had positive comments from exes and just about everyone else. I have no problem being approached when I got out and men find it sexy.


Females: LOL The ones who ask me why I cut my hair or say "I'm mad you cut your hair" usually dont have any hair or its very unhealthy and broken off. They can't understand why I would do it because I had nice relaxed hair that was close to APL.

The other women ask me questions and say I am an inspiration and they really want to be natural too.

Some say, "oh girl I could NEVER go natural" and I say..."no one asked you to."

 

[luxe.li.]

I did notice the one time I wore my hair natural out to an event this guy was looking at me, but I was too unconfident at that time because it was my first time wearing my curly twa....lol so I was caught off guard....like "me really?"! lol

 

[tatambabyy]

I'm 18 and I just recently big chopped. I refuse to show anyone my BC. I went to buy a wig today and my mom kept pushing me to try the wig on. But I did not want to take off my beret. After a few minutes of my mom telling me how vain I was, I decided to take of my beret and try on the wig(its a good thing I did because the wig had tooo much volume) The lady who was helping me pick a wig said,"girl ain't nothing wrong with yo head."

But still, I will not reveal my short natural hair until it gets to a reasonable length, Im just not comfortable with it. Short hair isn't really accepted around here. I wore my wig today and one of my co-workers said, "you look better with long hair, and much younger." Prior to my big chop, I had the rihanna pixie cut. I got alot of "whys" i didnt care, because I liked it.However I do not like this BC. When it gets a bit longer Im sure I'll enjoy it.

 

[msa]

I'm 18 and I just recently big chopped. I refuse to show anyone my BC. I went to buy a wig today and my mom kept pushing me to try the wig on. But I did not want to take off my beret. After a few minutes of my mom telling me how vain I was, I decided to take of my beret and try on the wig(its a good thing I did because the wig had tooo much volume) The lady who was helping me pick a wig said,"girl ain't nothing wrong with yo head."

But still, I will not reveal my short natural hair until it gets to a reasonable length, Im just not comfortable with it. Short hair isn't really accepted around here. I wore my wig today and one of my co-workers said, "you look better with long hair, and much younger." Prior to my big chop, I had the rihanna pixie cut. I got alot of "whys" i didnt care, because I liked it.However I do not like this BC. When in gets a bit longer Im sure I'll enjoy it.

I didn't realize you BC'd. From your siggy pic I can tell your hair is only going to better and better, since it's already beautiful. Give it a couple months and you'll be like "what was I thinking wearing a wig? my hair is the ish". LOL.

 

[cocopuff06]

Great topic, OP. I am 24 and I have been wearing my natural hair out off and on for the past year and the reactions have been mixed. My family hates it... my mom offers to send me money to get a relaxer and my dad just sighs and shakes his head. A few of my close friends love it on me, but one of my boys said that it makes me look old and a mess! The caliber of male attention is definitely higher, which is a good thing. Right now I am rockin a weave and will be hiding my hair for the rest of the winter. A lot of people reacted with a sense of relief when they saw my straight weave.... so sad

 

[nappi]

Actually since I've been natural there has only been one negative comment
which was from a stranger so I didn't really care

most people say they prefer my natural hair to when it was relaxed

 

[loulou82]

I got a few "Why"'s because my relaxed hair was healthy and growing. My grandmother asked me when "nappy" came back in style and I said it never left. My mother says I don't know what I want to do with my hair. My father said, "Oh goodness". erplexed

I will say that I met a wonderful man, BCed, and got engaged in the same year so I didn't lose a step with my natural hair.

 

[Evolving78]

Preface:

4 months after I bc'ed I took a short trip to Jamaica to visit relatives. My aunt, who I love dearly and partly raised me, was not happy when she saw my hair. In fact, the whole 4 days I was there she shook her head in disbelief that I'd "shaved" my head and that she hated it. My aunt is from the old school and she couldn't understand why I had gone and "made myself ugly" Being the natural born rebel, I laughed it off, gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her I think she would look great natural.

Now:

So I spoke to my aunt for the first time since my visit and she asked me about my hair. In told her I was still natural and that it was growing beautifully. Admittedly, it has been a trying journey for me, because there were/are days when I'm not pleased with my hair. Anyhow, my aunty got really serious lowered her voice and said to me (picture thick patois): I'n my 20s I was hot, no one could tell me anything! I am just telling you to help you, natural hair don't look good on a young girl". She goes on, get your husband first, get your good job, and hot out (lol) your 20s. Leave the natural hair thing for the older women like myself'".

As much as I laugh it off etc. it bothers me that my aunt thinks natural hair = ugly
so ladies, have you had similar experiences?

she sounds like my mother. and anybody else that is close to me.

 

[half.cadence]

My grandmother said something similar. Since I moved overseas a few years ago, I usually come home once a year, go to my regular hairdresser here and get a relaxer/trim. Well this year, my grandma asked me when I was going to get one and at the time, I was 8 months post and staying at her place. I would wash my hair everyday and when she'd see me walking from the bathroom to my room she'd be like "girl, you need to relax that afro underneath ", "Do you want me to schedule an appointment Ill pay for you" or my favorite "well what the world is wrong with your hair?" Well..I do look like Sideshow bob when my hair is wet..but anyway. I told her "no, thanks" and explained that Im growing out my relaxer. She then told me that I was too young for that and it would make me look "too serious".

Both my mom and sisters are natural and so is my grandma. I have a younger sister and an older sister so..Idk why she said that to me..unless shes holding in her true feelings from them.

I did let her pay for a trip to the salon though its just I didnt get a relaxer..I got a perm rod set and boy was she pissed . Other than her my family and friends are pretty supportive of my decision.

 

[luxe.li.]

My grandmother said something similar. Since I moved overseas a few years ago, I usually come home once a year, go to my regular hairdresser here and get a relaxer/trim. Well this year, my grandma asked me when I was going to get one and at the time, I was 8 months post and staying at her place. I would wash my hair everyday and when she'd see me walking from the bathroom to my room she'd be like "girl, you need to relax that afro underneath ", "Do you want me to schedule an appointment Ill pay for you" or my favorite "well what the world is wrong with your hair?" Well..I do look like Sideshow bob when my hair is wet..but anyway. I told her "no, thanks" and explained that Im growing out my relaxer. She then told me that I was too young for that and it would make me look "too serious".

Both my mom and sisters are natural and so is my grandma. I have a younger sister and an older sister so..Idk why she said that to me..unless shes holding in her true feelings from them.

I did let her pay for a trip to the salon though its just I didnt get a relaxer..I got a perm rod set and boy was she pissed . Other than her my family and friends are pretty supportive of my decision.

My grandmother did something similar to me. I came to visit and my hair was cut short and it was straight, and she asked me why I cut my hair off, did it break off. I said "No" I went natural. Then she asked if I wanted to go to the salon and get a relaxer, that she'd paid for it, but I said "No, I grew my relaxer out for a reason" and even though she gave me that 'look of disapproval' she left the matters alone. My aunts just asked me what I did to get my hair to grow in so thick.......but we'll see what they say when my hair gets longer and I wear it in its natural state...

PS my friends when I told them I was going natural, they were like how are you gonna wear your hair? in dreads? (wtf?), in an afro (I said no just to prove a point but really yeah if I could I def would), and I had to EXPLAIN the whole process of going natural. One of my friend is transitioning now........

 

[thaidreams]

I get better responses about my hair when it is straight, but my family and I prefer it in it's natural state. Both my mother and I rock natural hair so if anyone else in the family feels negatively about it they have not said so.

 

[SEMO]

I hate to say it but I think stereotypes about natural hair determine people's responses. Many people don't group loose, curly textures in with natural hair. So those with that type of hair often get a "pass" and only love when it comes to being relaxer=free. And long hair also usually gets a "pass."

 

[lynndiallo]

I'm 21 and 4b natural...I've never felt more beautiful or special. Everyone loves my hair...family, friends, strangers and all. Everyone I know wants to go natural (my mom, firends, cousins) but of course they are afraid.
Before I was just another girl in the crowd with the straight beyonce wannabe hair. I stand out everywhere and I love it. I feel different in a good way. I also like how exotic it makes me look...I am African.

I am very happy to be nappy. Can't wait to hit BSL this year!

 

[babydollhair]

When i first when't natural in 04' my family hated my hair,said it was don king hair, i did it again in 06' and now same ppl asking me about my hair lol. So...

 

[Cassandra1975]

I will be 34 next week, but when I went natural I was 28. I have not gotten any negatives from anyone, and actually get more compliments than I ever got when I was relaxed. No one in my family has ever said anything negative...they always say they wish they could go natural, but it's so much work.

It makes me sad to read all the negative comments people have gotten. I just want to reach out and give everyone a great big hug.

 

[prettybrowneyescutie]

When I first decide to go natural, I didn't see very many ladies with natural hair. I talked it over with my beautician before I decide to go natural, just to get some feedback. She was very negative, but she tried to be very nice. I immediately start researching it and learning new techniques. The more I read the more I wanted to just do it. I talked it over with my DH and he was so supportive(such a good hubby). I transition for 11 months, then I cut it all off. While transitioning I had one cousin that said "I was too pretty to wear my hair like that." I was like whatever, this is my hair. I have receive so many compliments now that I'm natural. I pressed my hair last week and this guy I work with walked up to me and asked I had relaxed my hair I said no, then he said, "Good I like you hair curly."

Now both my mother and my bf have gone natural after seeing how much healthier and how much my hair has grown since I stop relaxing. My dad is always giving compliments on my hair. I love him so much.