Are you more critical of your hair than others?

[Divine Inspiration]

I know many ladies on this board have had issues with friends, co-workers, family members, and others not supporting their hair goals/journey.

Fortunately, I haven't run into much of this, but that's probably because:
1) I haven't shared it with many people, and
2) Most people I interact with regularly know better than to be in my face with negative energy of any kind...especially not something simple like hair.

Anyway, over the past week or so, I haven't done much with my hair. I've been bunning and doing high ponytails and such. I've been consistent with moisture, but I still felt like my hair was soooo DRY! I was terribly frustrated once Friday rolled around. I was dreading wash day instead of looking forward to it as usual.

Well, I was at the ATM Friday, and this random black (African-American, if that's your thing) guy walked up to me and started a conversation. He wasn't my type at all so I was being careful not to make too much eye contact, etc, but he started telling me about himself and asking questions,etc. Then he said, "Your hair is so pretty. It's thick and curly, and it looks really soft. What do you put in it to make it so soft? I would ask to touch it, but I know sistas don't play that." I was just standing there like I didn't know what to say. I'm practically 9 months (last relaxer was NOT a relaxer ) so I've got coils and springs all up in my head. My hair was pulled back so I guess what he saw was waves.

Anyway, I had been mentally bad-mouthing my hair during the week b/c I thought it was dry, and I just wasn't feeling it. But after I got a compliment from someone else, I paused to consider if I was being too critical of my hair. Other people compliment me on the WORST of hair days, so that leads me to believe that I may need to let go of my idea of "perfect" and embrace it as is. I'm making progress so I should just allow myself to relax and enjoy it in its various stages.

Anyone else being too critical?

 

[Mystic]

Yeah, that happens to me sometimes - getting compliments about my hair, clothes, whatever at the worst times possible. Sometimes I am so upset at the way I look and that is the time I get all the compliments - pretty weird. I guess it is only natural that we are our own worst critique. Whenever I am mad at my appearance and people perceive me differently, it helps to change my mood and my self-conciousness a little. Also sometimes when you are pretty, nothing looks bad on you so take the compliment.........

 

[Isis]

I make sure I only speak of my hair (and the rest of me) in loving terms, to myself and others. You mentioned "negative energy" -- that's what we bring into our experiences when we are critical of ourselves and others.

Many times, at least in my experience, the Universe/God brings us people to show us what we are doing to ourselves by way of contrast. For example, if I'm feeling a little down, someone, usually a stranger will approach me and say "Smile!". Or I would receive a compliment from someone. Or a small child or baby will give me the sweetest smile that makes me smile. I believe these are gifts, like the one you received, to help us get back on track.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

This is an old thread, but I'm bumping because I think this is timely

 

[cutiebe2]

for me its the other way around, as I am in the begining stages of my journey, people are critical of me. They see my TWA and I know they talk about it behind my back but they don't know I will be able to stretch it to shoulder length in about 4 more months. I am not critical of my hair because I know how much progress I am making but others do not.

 

[HoneyDew]

DI, I totally think I am more critical of my hair. I am always surprised when someone tells me my hair looks nice, or that it is thick, or that it looks healthy. Actually my SO, told me that my own hair complements me better than weaves and braids, which I had fallen victim for a long time. I was actually stressed out that I could not get weaves to work for me and after he said that I was like "To HECK with weaves! I don't need 'em!"

After hearing the same positive comments from people multiple times, I decided that I need to start loving my hair and enjoying it no matter what the length is. (Sometime that's easier said than done when I see all the beautiful tresses on the board. )

 

[InnerSoul]

Yes I know that I am my worst critic!! I constantly say how my hair isn't thriving and my family, friends, and co-workers tell me how much healthier it looks and how it has come along way! especially from last year!! My mom says she likes touching my hair now b/c it used to feel like brittle straw but now she loves the feel of my hair. My hair has actually grown out several inches. I even thought my hair was thin looking and I had one friend tell me that it looks thicker the longer I grow it out. So I should be grateful instead of critical... but like I said I am always my worst critic !!

 

[JustKiya]

I'm not all that critical of my HAIR itself - cuz I love mah hair, even when it's DRIVING. ME. CRAZY - but I am SUPER critical of my hair styles!! My parts have to be JUST so, the little fuzzies and flyaways I get need to be slicked down, the ends have to be tucked up JUST so....My momma was real big on looking 'neat' and I'm CRAZY about my hair looking 'neat'. There are several hairstyles that I just DON'T wear because I don't think that they look - neat - just yet - my hair ain't long enough to pull them off perfectly, so I don't rock them at all.

 

[tatje]

Like many of you said, I am my worst critic. I don't even remember the last time I just liked a style on my hair, but a lot of times I do like the way it feels. To me there is always something that needs to be worked on. Its never just right. At the same time I can say that I am very grateful to have hair on my head and for it to grow. Its funny how a lot of times we want hair to grow and be full and etc. that it becomes to much of our focus. I think it is just easier to sit back, drink some water, and try to forget about it (if your like me, sometimes its hard).

Like many have said "Think positive and get positive results".

Love you all.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Yes Yes and Yes. I am waaay to critical of my hair/appearance. Not something I am proud of either.

 

[dannie]

My response might be a bit off topic, but I wanted to tell somebody, and although this would probably be best for female friends, it's 7ish in the morning, what am I going to do?

Anyway, last nite my "friend" came over, and I had my hair in a sloppy bun. I was laying on his lap, and he took out my hair tie, and started rubbing my head and scalp for me. It felt SOOO GOOOD!! Then he starts saying "your hair is really soft" "you got a lot to work with girl" "it feels so nice and thick", then he got to the NG and said "oh so its the real deal in here huh?" .

But anyway, I just never thought a guy would actually enjoy playing in MY HAIR. Some type 2aish hair, yeah, but my hair w/ weeks of NG? That's amazing. It gave me a bit of hair self-esteem.

I did have a couple more pieces of breakage than normal this morning , but it was worth it

 

[nelli711]

Like many of you said, I am my worst critic. I don't even remember the last time I just liked a style on my hair, but a lot of times I do like the way it feels. To me there is always something that needs to be worked on. Its never just right. At the same time I can say that I am very grateful to have hair on my head and for it to grow. Its funny how a lot of times we want hair to grow and be full and etc. that it becomes to much of our focus. I think it is just easier to sit back, drink some water, and try to forget about it (if your like me, sometimes its hard).

Like many have said "Think positive and get positive results".

Love you all.

I feel the same exact way.

 

[dlewis]

I'm not critical of my hair. I love my hair, the way it feels, looks, smells, moves. I love to look at my hair and I'm constanly thanking GOD for it and asking him to bless my hair (yes, I do).

Recently one of my co-workers told me that I look like a witch with my hair always in a bun and he hates it like that. I thought I always looked very nice with the bun.

 

[deltagyrl]

Recently one of my co-workers told me that I look like a witch with my hair always in a bun and he hates it like that. I thought I always looked very nice with the bun.

Are kidding me? No sir.

I'm proud of my hair but I'm also very critical of myself in general (sigh).
I am learning how to relax and not be so hard on myself. It's an uphill battle.

 

[dlewis]

Are kidding me? No sir.

I'm proud of my hair but I'm also very critical of myself in general (sigh).
I am learning how to relax and not be so hard on myself. It's an uphill battle.

I think I do look very "stern" with my hair in a bun. Kinda "mean teacher" looking.

 

[nomoweavesfome]

I am highly critical of my hair not so much of what it looks like but more so the results of what I am trying to achieve. I always expect a certain result and it always comes out different. it makes me mad.