Are Singleness threads doing more hurt than good?

[Kinkyhairlady]

Decided to start this thread after reading my journal for the past 10 years. One thing I noticed I was consistent about is my love life and how I could not find a good man though I was dating those people were not really what I wanted. Page after page I wrote about not being married not having any children yet and when will my time come. This thought process has been going on for a long time. It suddenly dawned on me that maybe the reason I have yet to meet the right person is because I think about it to much, I complain about if to much, I talk about it to much, I read about it too much. I giving all this pitty party energy out to the universe and not truly loving life as is. Too worried I'm going to be single forever and not realizing it's hurting me more than helping. Even all these prayers for a man is just to much. As and you shall receive not beg and cry. In due to if it happens it happens. Men can spot a woman who desperately wants to be loved unfortunately the ones that spot this are not the good ones. The good ones are out there enjoying life to the fullest and can spot a woman who is doing the same despite her status.

Hope I don't offend anyone and those single ladies threads are ok but the more we swim in our sorrows the more of a chance we have to drown. My last entry in my journal was "I will be married and I will be a mother in the near future". Speak what you want into existence and stop wondering why you are single and why you can't get lucky.

 

[Shimmie]

Yes...

 

[Kacie]

I know you're tired of books but divine recommended Remember the Roses by Lynette Lewis recently and I found it to be a great resource. Great things Lynette did while waiting till 40 to marry were: pursuing other dreams, immersing herself in the happiness of married couples/families and keeping track of the gifts/lessons resultant of singleness.

Even though her story seems perfect, she does address feelings of hopelessness & impatience.

 

[Divine.]

Nevermind...

 

[LadyRaider]

I have no idea if I'd have been more successful if I'd concentrated on getting married. But my dad made it his all consuming goal to get a girlfriend after my mom died. And he "kissed a few frogs" along the way but now he's found his girl. So....

I think the jury is out on whether concentrating on getting a relationship is important. Depends on the person, I guess.

I will say that my brother was engaged finally at 50 (for a while... long story) and when you think about it... he and she would have had another 30 years to live together if things go as planned... and that is a really long time!

 

[felic1]

I am starting to ask myself am I attracted to decent men. I think the brothers in my church are pretty gumpy (shame on me).

 

[Godsdaughter001]

OP, the same question you posed should be asked also about the threads you start around here. Are they doing more harm than good? Food for thought. I don't mean to be mean, but it had to be said.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=713225

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

oops, wrong thread ..

 

[PinkPebbles]

I believe it's all about your perspective. For example, You can have two people that both experience the same issue but their outcome and end result may differ based on how they handle and perceive the situation.

In general, what works for one may not work for you b/c your perception about the issue is totally different. I pray about everything b/c I love to commune with the Heavenly Father, and I want His best for my life.

I've learned not to worry about what others are doing but do what's best for me. I'm more focused and happier rather than blaming others for my shortcomings.

Be Blessed

Decided to start this thread after reading my journal for the past 10 years. One thing I noticed I was consistent about is my love life and how I could not find a good man though I was dating those people were not really what I wanted. Page after page I wrote about not being married not having any children yet and when will my time come. This thought process has been going on for a long time. It suddenly dawned on me that maybe the reason I have yet to meet the right person is because I think about it to much, I complain about if to much, I talk about it to much, I read about it too much. I giving all this pitty party energy out to the universe and not truly loving life as is. Too worried I'm going to be single forever and not realizing it's hurting me more than helping. Even all these prayers for a man is just to much. As and you shall receive not beg and cry. In due to if it happens it happens. Men can spot a woman who desperately wants to be loved unfortunately the ones that spot this are not the good ones. The good ones are out there enjoying life to the fullest and can spot a woman who is doing the same despite her status.

Hope I don't offend anyone and those single ladies threads are ok but the more we swim in our sorrows the more of a chance we have to drown. My last entry in my journal was "I will be married and I will be a mother in the near future". Speak what you want into existence and stop wondering why you are single and why you can't get lucky.