Are petty arguments with an SO enough to break up?

[Dposh167]

just curious.
My friend and her now ex used to get into a LOT of petty arguments. It wasn't a big deal to her..but to HIM, who didn't like to argue, it was a big deal. To me some of their arguments were very stupid but I didn't think they would break up over it. But when i look at their relationship, they weren't the type to fix what they were arguing about. It's like they would argue- the make up- then move on until the same thing happens again.

Has anyone reached a point where petty arguments were worth breaking up over? Or are you the type to just ignore them and try to fix the problem.

 

[CarLiTa]

Wouldn't want to be with someone I am always arguing with. To me that's evidence that we aren't compatible. It irritates me to watch couples bicker with each other constantly as though that's a normal thing.
I'm not an argumentative person so I would be looking at the man like (sideeye) you obviously need to go. No way.

 

[TayMac]

It depends. Sometimes when you are constantly have petty arguments there is often a bigger underlying issue that isn't being addressed.

 

[CaraWalker]

im not really the arguing type so im not sure if thatd be a big indicator for me. i never really have fights in my relationship.

 

[ChasingBliss]

It may seem petty but to a person who hates to argue, hates loud voices and constant issues (like myself) it is enough to make you want to slit a throat! Peaceful minded people have a very low tolerance for any kind of bickering. I think for some people it's a disease. They need something to be fussy about or else they will self destruct.

 

[FlowerHair]

Yes.
I wouldn't stay a day in an argumentative relationship. Ugh.

I have better things to do with my time.

I'm sure he thought about a future with this woman and possibly children growing up in that type of environment.

 

[Nayna]

It depends. I know a couple that had a ton of petty arguments during their first year together. It's been a few years now and they have pretty much ironed it out. I think it all comes down to a communication issue. When a couple is new they are learning how to talk to each other and feathers get ruffled. Now if this is a couple that has been together for a while then idk. I don't expect everyday to be smooth sailing but definitely more good than bad.

 

[bklynbornNbred]

To me petty arguing IS an issue. Kudos to him for peacing out.

 

[pink_flower]

yes this was my last relationship. it was a beat down mentally. its way beyond the normal growing pains of a new relationship too . these people cannot freaking relax. it doesn't even have to be directed at you. some people walk around wanting and waiting to be offended all the time.

i was too done with that fool. take all that psychotic energy elsewhere dude.

 

[Fine 4s]

I'm scared that we could be like this.
His need for more affection and kisses is something that we just can't fix.
At some point he'll realize he won't get more from me and I will realize I don't have more to give so....maybe we aren't compatible.
This is the only sore spot so far. Feels stupid but it's how he feels....

 

[chronicity]

The fact that your friend didn't think the frequent bickering was a big deal while he clearly felt the opposite is proof they were incompatible. Who knows what other issues they didn't see eye-to-eye on.

I'm with dude. Life is too short to be getting into passionate rifts over some nonsense. You also have to wonder whether it makes sense to be with someone whose viewpoint differs from yours so often as to cause conflict.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

It may seem petty but to a person who hates to argue, hates loud voices and constant issues (like myself) it is enough to make you want to slit a throat! Peaceful minded people have a very low tolerance for any kind of bickering. I think for some people it's a disease. They need something to be fussy about or else they will self destruct.

THIS entirely. Someone who loves bickering should find a compatible partner and leave those who like peace to find someone peaceful. I hate hate hate arguments. Especially pointless ones and unnecessary drama (no matter how big or small). It really is like torture to be around such people, so thus I can see why he broke up with her. I would not be with a person who loves to bicker. They need to just kim to someone else so that I can have some peace.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

I'd like to add something else after reading your question. I don't think "ignoring" bickering makes you a person who is "fixing a problem". Say you ignore the bickering and work on the problem only to get to another point and another. As a poster said earlier some people can never be satisfied. I have a family member like this that I hold at an arm's length. The person could be mother THeresa, before her death, and they would find a way to bicker with the way she fed the poor. A person like that, you'll end up fixing things for the rest of your life when they really are just a difference of opinion.

Sometimes people fix problems in different ways. For instance: If we bicker too much, we aren't compatible. Thus problem fixed by moving on to someone more compatible. I don't think one should have to bend themselves into a pretzel in order to fit with someone else when they could flow easily with another. People are not projects that need fixing. Not to say we don't all need improvement but that is different (correcting something that you want to about yourself) than molding yourself to suit another person. With that said I've witnessed people who get off on bickering. It's almost like banter to them. To each their own. But again, that type belongs together. I always feel sorry when it's an incompatible couple where one doesn't and the other does. After a while the person who doesn't often looks beaten down because they are just exhausted by their every day exchanges. So in that case it's better to just part ways.

 

[LiftedUp]

I'm not an argumentative person but I was in one budding relationship (we never got there thank God!!!) where I was the person picking the petty arguments. He lacked basic concepts of logic. Used to drive me crazy. I could let differing opinions go, not a big deal, but lack of logic when telling me something drove me crazy and I just had to call it out. I stopped speaking him cold turkey and never turned back. Used to feel my brain cells depleting.

 

[tru4reele]

I hate to see people on social media basically saying that in a real relationship you go through a whole lot of BS that brings you closer together. Ummm no. In a healthy relationship there should not be constant arguing and break-ups every other month. That means you are not right for each other.

 

[chronicity]

^ What's sad is when that attitude causes people to see constant arguing as normal and peace as a sign of dysfunction. Maybe getting emotional and loud over open kitchen cabinet doors injects some excitement into your day and allows you to blow off some steam, but successful relationships require being able to grin and bear nuisances sometimes.

 

[bklynbornNbred]

I'd like to add something else after reading your question. I don't think "ignoring" bickering makes you a person who is "fixing a problem". Say you ignore the bickering and work on the problem only to get to another point and another. As a poster said earlier some people can never be satisfied. I have a family member like this that I hold at an arm's length. The person could be mother THeresa, before her death, and they would find a way to bicker with the way she fed the poor. A person like that, you'll end up fixing things for the rest of your life when they really are just a difference of opinion.

Sometimes people fix problems in different ways. For instance: If we bicker too much, we aren't compatible. Thus problem fixed by moving on to someone more compatible. I don't think one should have to bend themselves into a pretzel in order to fit with someone else when they could flow easily with another. People are not projects that need fixing. Not to say we don't all need improvement but that is different (correcting something that you want to about yourself) than molding yourself to suit another person. With that said I've witnessed people who get off on bickering. It's almost like banter to them. To each their own. But again, that type belongs together. I always feel sorry when it's an incompatible couple where one doesn't and the other does. After a while the person who doesn't often looks beaten down because they are just exhausted by their every day exchanges. So in that case it's better to just part ways.

This post is so nice it needs to be read twice!