Apology/Repenting to My Long Haired Sisters

[CourtneyD]

Okay, here goes: Every time (EVERY TIME) I saw a non-biracial, non-light skinned female with hair past her shoulders, I would automatically conclude, "that's a weave". Even if I saw a celebrity like Jada Pinkett (and Halle) with short hair 3 years ago and shoulder length or longer 3 years later, I said "WEAVE!" or "LACE FRONT WIG!", because who can grow long hair like that in three years?! I just didn't know that Black women could grow hair, and that if they DID have medium/long hair, it was the exception, like "well, then, they must have Indian in their family." And don't let it be MBL or longer. Please. And dark-skinned sisters like me with long hair, oh C'MON! Just admit you have a real good weave and stop playing! And finally, EVERY BRAIDED HAIRSTYLE past your neck, in my opinion was fake hair, because if your hair was that long, why wouldn't you wear it out? I'd still call it a weave, though! LOL!!! (I also used to think that the only reason a sista didn't want her man in her hair is because it's a weave. Now I know we just don't want them in it for a whole lotta reasons! LOL)

Okay #2: I have been on this site for ten months and my hair has grown from ear length to the bottom of my neck (almost SL but can't claim it! 4-5 inches of growth AND I'm transitioning, too). This is the absolute longest my hair has ever been. AND IT'S HEALTHY! I can see bra strap in my future and then some!

So now, with head bowed, I ask God to forgive me -and all of you to forgive me for assuming that your hair wasn't yours! I was a FORMER HATER but now I'm a believer. (...and I'm a fotki stalker, and I'm obsessed with hair, and I stare at women all day instead of guys- looking at their hair, and I'm on LHCF 24/7, and I'm a protective style freak, and I think I love my hair more than...er, um...)

Now...were you once like me? Time to admit it! Share that story!!

 

[ceebee3]

Cute story!

I was never like you though. I grew up around a lot of long haired ladies.

 

[bestblackgirl]

wow i was never like that. My freshman year of college this girl told me she thought my hair was a weave, and I was just about APL... I never thought that she said that because i am black. You had it bad. You are forgiven. lol

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

lol!!
I can't lie, I used to be like that.
I was never suspicious about shoulder length and just past shoulder length. But I just knew that anything past APL had to be a weave. It doesn't make sense, because the women in my family have hair past APL routinely, but still.

Funnily enough, the hateration didn't start until all of my hair broke off to between EL and CL. Before that, I was not concerned with who was wearing weave and who wasn't.

 

[mariofmagdal]

You are forgiven.

My story, I was the girl hated on, accused of being mixed/Indian, even called conceited, and I endured having my hair tugged on all through grade school just because it was long and wavy. Even as an adult, when I used to wear my hair down, people wanted to know if it was all my hair.......my banded pony gets that reaction now.

You were not alone in your feelings, glad you are better now. '0)

 

[NIN4eva]

I understand. I'm relaxed, layered and grazing apl for the first time ever myself. I totally understand where you're coming from op.

 

[LoveLongLocks]

Girl that is too funny! I think erry body does a mental weave check....
I do....but, I admire hair real, fake, or bald!
It's all good.

 

[NJoy]

Not only did I never think like that but, I'm so naive that I thought that weaved hair was always long. If it was shorter than APL, the idea of a weave never crossed my mind. And I did believe a lot of weaves and wigs were real. I wasn't really concerned much with my own APL hair so, I had no interest in analyzing anyone elses. All that mattered to me is whether they looked busted or not. Either way, *shrugs*, that's on them.

Oh, and I always assumed any sista could grow her hair to SL and many could get APL. Hair wasn't long to me until MBL and I have dark and light MBL ladies in my fam.

 

[MsBoinglicious]

lol funny!

When I was younger back in high school I thought that way. I didn't wear weave to pass it off as my own (I did wear braids extentions sometimes). If I saw a girl with her hair down and it looked like mine I assumed it was hers (nice sheen, Apl length or shorter). If I saw a girl with a hair that was TOOOOOO full, TOOOOO long, JET SUPER BLACK and on super GLOWWWW Bling -Bling pastic shiny mode. I assumed it was fake. Back then chicks were not buying hair that matched their real texture so it was super easy to spot a weave.

Now days with the LF and stuff I cannot tell anymore. Sometimes you can def tell and sometimes you can't. And if I can't tell if its a weave or not I just assume its theirs. I don’t even care to know if its real or fake anymore.

 

[CourtneyD]

lol funny!
If I saw a girl with a hair that was TOOOOOO full, TOOOOO long, JET SUPER BLACK and on super GLOWWWW Bling -Bling pastic shiny mode. I assumed it was fake

Yeah. I have to admit that the only way I believed it was their hair was if it was thin or split. Too smooth, too neat, too black, too perfect, naw, can't be theirs!

 

[Dani.Nicole]

Well I was always the one weave checked so my situation was the other way around. As dark as I am people still assumed I had something "exotic" in me because my hair was long. I have a different story though! I always assumed that if you were light skinned, that meant you had "good hair." Meaning you had the perfect natural hair. But I've learned that everyone of all shades can have any and every hair type.

 

[kandake]

Thanks for sharing your story.

I understand where you're coming from. I would never assume someone's hair was a weave based on length. But I did believe that only certain people had long hair and I wasn't one of them. I didn't think skin color or ethnicity played a role, well at least not in all cases. But I felt that perhaps long hair was somehow in their genes.

Now I know better. Well, I still believe that certain people are more... prone (for lack of better word) to longer hair. Some people grow long hair without much effort. But what I do know is, for those who have never had long hair. It can definitely be achieved with the proper care.

 

[brucebettye]

I love your story. I never felt that way because most of the dark skinned girls I went to school with had longer hair than me.

 

[Love Always]

Now you're a believer . I wasn't like you because in my family and where I live there are a lot of darker skin women that have long hair.

 

[D.N.A.]

You live and you learn! I wasn't like you in terms of length, I've always known that black women can have long hair. However, when it came to hair types, I didn't know there was so much diversity. You could not tell me that someone with 3a/b hair wasn't bi-racial or mixed in some way or form. To this day I don't completely understand how this hair type thing works. But, I am now more aware of the fact that black hair is diverse in texture and curl pattern and I'm not as quick to assume things.

 

[Desert Skye]

I have a different story though! I always assumed that if you were light skinned, that meant you had "good hair." Meaning you had the perfect natural hair. But I've learned that everyone of all shades can have any and every hair type.

hAha! I used to feel bad because growing up bi-racial, I was expected to have "good hair". So I felt bad when my hair was jacked up and what not. I wasn't living up to expectations

 

[Tickin4Gold]

Thanks for Posting this. I know people who still think like this. Thank God you know better now.
But watch out, when your hair gets longer people might start giving you looks also wondering if your hair is real.

 

[ms.blue]

My mother believes you have to mixed to have long hair like brastrap or longer. She says black people can't grow hair past a certain length. My sister had almost bsl hair & my mom said was b/c she was pregnant that is the reason her hair grew that long even though both my sister & I hair was apl that's not long in her eyes. She even has a friend w/ thick bsl relaxed hair but she said that her friend has "good hair" so that the reason her hair is that long. Whateva! I just can't wait to prove her wrong.

 

[Vashti]

I always knew black women could grow a lot of hair whether they were dark skinned or light skinned or mixed race but I grew up believing that mixed women were the ones with that "guud" textured hair! However my mom always told me that all you have to do to get your hair to look like that is some grease and a hot comb, so I didn't feel bad about having coarser hair. OP's experience is funny though! LOL!

 

[CourtneyD]

hAha! I used to feel bad because growing up bi-racial, I was expected to have "good hair". So I felt bad when my hair was jacked up and what not. I wasn't living up to expectations

LOL

 

[CourtneyD]

Thanks for Posting this. I know people who still think like this. Thank God you know better now.
But watch out, when your hair gets longer people might start giving you looks also wondering if your hair is real.

Gurrrl, I look so forward to a "weave check"!

 

[JustKiya]

It's always wonderful to see women learning and growing and expanding their beliefs and boundaries on this site.

Congrats for your happy hair journey, and congrats for being willing to admit you were wrong!!



Honestly - I didn't think about hair much before the boards - esp. other peoples. And I still can't weave-check to save my life, so unless it was really to' up, I always assumed a woman's hair was her own.

 

[Fine 4s]

I grew up in the caribbean and most of the women around me had long healthy looking hair. Really, great hair long or short!

What I couldn't understand is why *I* didn't have long hair. (shrug)

 

[HeChangedMyName]

I was half like that. My mother had long hair so I knew it was possible, but we do have indian and white just a generation away from her so I chalked it up to that and everyone else with long hair, i thought either they had weaves or were balling and could just afford to stay in the salon. I never knew that we could grow healthy long hair at home and not have to pay professionals for all their magic potions.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

I wouldnt' say I would feel like that... I would just ask the person if they were mixed if their length or texture was ... "different" from what I believed was normal

 

[a_shoe_6307]

I was the one who always got talked about growing up because my hair was long. It was I had to be mixed or later on it was I had a weave.

Besides everyone has their own perception of what hair is supposed to be and some us where taught different things that molded these perceptions. I say you live and you learn and you have learned so congrats.

 

[Janet']

Thanks for sharing...I was the dark skinned chick with semi long (Shoulder-Arm Pit Length) who was ALWAYS weave checked...It's funny- we all have some kind of preconceived notion about something...