Another wedding question

[CurleeDST]

'Ok ladies, tell me how you would feel or react if you were the bride or invited guest.

You have a friend whom you grew up with and went to college with. You and her are both adults and once you hit college, you remained friends but started to hang in different circles. You both still live in the same town and invite each other over to dinner parties, holiday parties, etc. This friend is getting married and you remain single. This friend also has remained very good friends with an ex boyfriend of yours whom you still invite over to dinner parties, holiday parties, etc. because you both are now platonic friends.

You recieve a wedding invitation in the mail from your girl and the inside envelope simply shows your name. You are seeing someone under wraps and nothing serious and you have not shared this information with your girl whom you speak to on occasion. You call your ex and he tells you his invite has his name "and guest". Question 1: Would you be upset that your invitation does not have "and guest"? If so, why or why not. The wedding starts at 6 pm.

As the bride, if you found out your childhood friend did not come to your wedding based on the principle of you not considering her being able to bring a guest - how would that make you feel and what, if anything, would you say to your friend who did not come to the wedding or reception?

Thanks ladies!

 

[drasgrl]

I wouldn't be offended. I would call my friend and ask her if I could bring a guest. Nothing to get upset over. She didn't know you were seeing anyone because you said it was on the dl so why be offended? Did she know the ex was seeing someone? That's why they put and guest? All that could have been fixed with a phone call. Why be so hurt over that?

If I was the bride I don't know what I would think if a good friend didn't come to my wedding. I would call them and ask what's up if she told me she got upset because the invitation didn't include "and guest" my goodness what kind of mess is that? I would ask her why didn't she call me and tell me. It could have been just a simple printing error. Life is too short to be upset over something so petty.

 

[Keen]

The wedding is not about the friend, it is about the bride. Most wedding guest list are limited. The bride can't allow everyone to bring as many guest as they want, even if the bride knew about the friend's boyfriend. Bride does not know him and does not have to invite him. Like drasgrl said if it is that important, why didn't she call and ask if she could bring a guest? If I was the bride, I'd be like "whatever, I still got married..." . I wouldn't even ask the friend why she didn't sure up.

 

[SoUKnoMe]

The wedding is not about the friend, it is about the bride. Most wedding guest list are limited. The bride can't allow everyone to bring as many guest as they want, even if the bride knew about the friend's boyfriend. Bride does not know him and does not have to invite him. Like drasgrl said if it is that important, why didn't she call and ask if she could bring a guest? If I was the bride, I'd be like "whatever, I still got married..." . I wouldn't even ask the friend why she didn't sure up.

Thank you.

 

[Farida]

I would only be offended if my husband was not invited.

As for a bf, I understand weddings are pricey and you've got to limit guests. Plus, if she doesn't know you are dating anyone, why would she give you + guest if she is trying to conserve her guest list? Maybe she knows the other guy is dating someone or told her he wants to bring someone.

Don't sulk and not show, call her and ask her if you can bring a guest. If not, just go and have a good time.

 

[SEMO]

I would just ask her if I could bring a guest. The friend may have I assumed that I (the single one) wouldn't need to bring a guest (i.e. my non-existent man) and is just try to keep the size of her wedding down (more people = more $$$).

 

[missty1029]

Im in a wedding and the bride is limiting there invitees to spouses or if your engaged. I feel her because its expensive and I rather her have more of the people she wants there then to make sure everyone can bring a guest. Your there to celebrate her marriage and its fair for her to have who she wants there. She wants you there so you shoudl go even if you cant bring a guest.

 

[Vanity1]

In sending out my invitations, I am sure there may have been some people whose invites I may have overlooked in adding "and guest" to the envelope. I placed on my RSVP cards a space for guests to put how many people they are inviting, anyway.

However, if it is a concern of yours, simply ask her about it, but it isn't worth being offended over. A bride has alot on her plate when planning a wedding. She may have simply forgotten to place the wording on your invitation in thinking of only you. Don't leave room for assumptions, call and ask about it.

 

[CurleeDST]

My opinion is this: A bride has a lot on her mind and plate and it is GUARANTEED weddings bring out a lot of emotions in people and she is bound to PISS one person off at LEAST! People get easily offended at this joyous time. Not sure why but they do! Especially family and close friends!

My thoughts are she may not speak to the friend enough to know there is someone significant in her life whom she would like to bring. She speaks more frequently to the friend's ex boyfriend to know he is seeing someone so she added "and guest".

I think the bride would be terribly disappointed if she found out this person did not attend over some tender wording on an invite. If I were the bride, and she were to call me about it I would tell her "bring someone" b/c it ain't worth it.

I think the guest should call the bride, especially if they go way back, and ask her if she can bring someone. Otherwise I think she is being petty and isn't a true friend OR is HATING on her friend and her finding a husband.

My $19.13 cents worth!

 

[TracyNicole]

I am in the midst of planning my wedding and can honestly say the guest list is one of the most difficult parts. The only way to know why guest wasn't included on the invitation is to ask as it could be any number of reasons. I know with what we are paying per head, we are inviting close family and friends and are not allowing people to bring guests. With the current state of the economy I am not paying for people to go out on a date. They can do that on their own dime. So unless they are Mr. and Mrs. or I have a personal relationship them both . . .but it could be due to any number of reasons.

 

[Everything Zen]

I wouldn't be offended. I would call my friend and ask her if I could bring a guest. Nothing to get upset over. She didn't know you were seeing anyone because you said it was on the dl so why be offended? Did she know the ex was seeing someone? That's why they put and guest? All that could have been fixed with a phone call. Why be so hurt over that?

If I was the bride I don't know what I would think if a good friend didn't come to my wedding. I would call them and ask what's up if she told me she got upset because the invitation didn't include "and guest" my goodness what kind of mess is that? I would ask her why didn't she call me and tell me. It could have been just a simple printing error. Life is too short to be upset over something so petty.

EXACTLY

 

[Tinky]

I wouldn't be offended. I would call my friend and ask her if I could bring a guest. Nothing to get upset over. She didn't know you were seeing anyone because you said it was on the dl so why be offended? Did she know the ex was seeing someone? That's why they put and guest? All that could have been fixed with a phone call. Why be so hurt over that?

If I was the bride I don't know what I would think if a good friend didn't come to my wedding. I would call them and ask what's up if she told me she got upset because the invitation didn't include "and guest" my goodness what kind of mess is that? I would ask her why didn't she call me and tell me. It could have been just a simple printing error. Life is too short to be upset over something so petty.

Excellent advice.

 

[ThickHair]

It is kind of in poor taste to call the bride and ask could you bring a friend. If she wanted you to bring a friend she would have invited you plus one.

 

[sky_blu]

Well maybe the bride knew who his "guest" was which is why she put it on the invitation. I dont understand how chick can be mad about the bride not putting a "guest" on the invitation if she is seeing someone thats "underwraps" and not serious. Why should the bride have to pay for some anybody to come and eat and participate in HER wedding? If she didnt show up I wouldnt even care thats one less person I'd have to pay for and she would be showing her true colors.