Anky's Pity Party!

Angelicus

Angelicus

Well-Known Member
Self-relaxing was a horrible experience. All I want to do is cry :( It's all underprocessed and looks like I did nothing that all. No, I don't want to try again.

I have been trying to find somone to do it right since I started on this crazy haircare journey. For over a year and a half, I have been underprocessed over and over again :( I went to all of the "best salons in New Orleans" according to Essence. I paid money to hear the mouths of stylists who pretty much told me that it is my fault that the relaxer didn't take or my fault that the relaxer is burning my hair.

Mwen pa konpran'n :(

I don't want to give up, but I am very tired. I just would like my hair straight. Is that too much to ask?:mad:
 
I am sorry that your self-relaxing experience was not pleasurable for you. Do you know why it is under-processed (didn't leave it on long enough, didn't smooth, etc)? What kind of relaxer did you use? Was it mild or regular? Do you think you should change the type (mild vs regular vs super)? Is your hair more like it is texturized now?

On another note, I am sure that your hair still looks fabulous!
 
How long are you leaving it on?
Because that plays an important factor in getting the hair straight particularly the roots/new growth.
To prevent your scalp from burning the next time,try basing it with vaseline or grease.

Sorry you had such a bad experience with self relaxing.
 
I left it on for 20 minutes on all sections. I used Vitale Super because all other mild or regular relaxers never get my hair straight. I smoothed each section. I based with grease-- I didn't burn. Like I said, it looks like i did nothing at all to it.

I'll just go to another SHS :(
 
I remember reading on here that ladies who based there hair with grease experienced underprocessing(Karonica?). I *think* that might be the problem. Maybe you can use something lighter like oil sheen or a creamy moisturizer..
 
pink_flower said:
I remember reading on here that ladies who based there hair with grease experienced underprocessing(Karonica?). I *think* that might be the problem.
Click to expand...

I too think that may have been the problem. I think in the future you should try to purchase a balm that is made specifically for using before you relax.
 
Well i base my scalp before i relax and i experience no underprocessing.
It depends on how much grease/vaseline you use.
But you can try something lighter on your scalp & see if that helps any.
 
Awww... poor anky! I'm sorry this happened to you. Underprocessed hair is what making me transition to natural. Good luck with finding someone that can relax your hair. ;)
 
I'm sorry that you had a bad experience self relaxing. My first time (that I switched to a lye relaxer) I got it underprocessed as well.I had gone 6 months without relaxing. it was like it was texturized on my roots frizzy/underprocessed in the middle and straight on the ends. I hated it at first. I later got the hang of it, though. It just took practice, and I decided not to stretch as long anymore, 4 months max.
Where I live there are no black stylists so it was either me trying or having someone without practice to jack up my hair. I thought, it anyone is going to jack up my hair, let it be me.:ohwell:

I'm really sorry your relaxer didn't turn out right. It's sad when we do everything we know it's right and the end result isn't what we wanted.:rosebud:
 
Anky, I feel your pain! :nono: Both my self-relaxing attempts have ended in underprocessing.

It's not easy for professionals either. My stylist works himself into a sweat smoothing all my hair in 17 minutes.

That's why I want to try Phytorelaxer. I need a better option than lye.
 
Aww, how garbage is that? That sucks. *shakes head*

Too bad we live in New Orleans where trying to find a decent stylist is like trying to find a virgin in a whorehouse. *clicks tongue* Well, you'll figure something out, you're resourceful like that.
 
Do you often relax immediately after taking down braids? A stylist told me that the hair sometimes becomes underprocessed that way, and that I should try washing my hair, and then relaxing a few days after that. I nearly gave up on relaxing all together, but the last two times I relaxed (Revlon regular - the one in the white jar w/ black writing) my hair came out super straight - I washed my hair, conditioned, wore it in a bun for about 3 days, and then I had a friend relax it for me. It did burn a little though ( I didnt base my scalp), but I thought the results were well worth the pain! I think the pre-wash is what made the difference, because I have used Revlon regular in the past (both in a salon and at home) and my hair was underprocessed...
I wish you all the best with your future relaxers!!! :)
 
Sorry to hear your relaxing experience didn't work the way you wanted it to, Anky. When I'm in a situation like this, I pray for a solution. It works every time.

I'm glad your hair is still long, thick and beautiful though.:)
 
There are some ladies on the board who process their hair in 2 parts. That might help because you can spend more time smoothing during the total time that you have to process... rather than trying to do the whole head in the same amount of time.
 
The first couple times I tried it was a mess. I change two things which made it work:

1. Switched back to no-lye. No matter how much smoothing I did with lye, no matter if I left it on the max 20-25 minutes, my hair ALWAYS looked like I hadn't done a THING to it. ALWAYS. And I tried several different brands.

2. Relaxing in sections. My hair is thick and I'm too clumsy and slow to be able to do my whole head in one go. I would miss sections, or some wouldn't get enough smoothing time.

I really think it could be that lye doesn't work for you, Anky.
 
pink_flower said:
I remember reading on here that ladies who based there hair with grease experienced underprocessing(Karonica?). I *think* that might be the problem. Maybe you can use something lighter like oil sheen or a creamy moisturizer..
Click to expand...

This was my problem when I used to relax.
 
Awww Anky, I'm sorry to hear about your experience. I know you've been trying to get a decent relaxer for quite some time.

I agree with many others that it may be the grease. I also base with grease sometimes, but you have to make sure to only put it on your SCALP, not your hair. Your hair will not relax well if you get the grease on your hair.

My hair would also be underprocessed if I followed the time constraints of only 20 minutes. Honestly it takes me at least 30 minutes and I don't have any ill effects. I use mild, because I know it takes me longer to work it in. I would use regular if I went to a salon, because they can work it much faster. I'm not saying to change your timing, I'm just explaining what works for me. ;)

Don't worry it will work out. :kiss:
 
Anky,

I am sorry that things did not go as expected. First off, I want u to take a deep breath. Hair care can be very frustrating but look on the bright side. One, u have a beautiful, thick head of hair that is still on your head. It may not look the way u want it to right now but eventually it will.

I too have had and continue to have problems with underprocessing and lack of uniformity in textures. This was not a problem for me when I use to get my hair relaxed all the time. It has become a problem since I transitioned for almost 2 years and had lots of new growth/virgin hair. I am now texturized but certain sections of my hair seemed not to want to cooperate, but I have noticed over time that some of those sections are taking better to the process. I think that some time it takes a while to get it just right. I think this may be the case for u and when u think about it, you have been going to professionals and the same things has happened-- underprocessing. Your hair should probably be done in sections whether u do it or have it professionally done. My stylist does this. You have a lot of new growth and there is no way that the whole head can be succeessfully processed in 20 minutes. This way is bound to cause underprocessing b/c there is not sufficient time to properly work all the sections. Good luck. EVERYTHING WILL BE OK!
 
I'm sorry to hear about that Anky. I don't base at all for this reason.

May I suggest that you put whatever you use to base with in an applicator bottle the next time. That way you won't get in on your hair as KT said and then in the meantime, make sure you use a reconstructor to maintain your underprocessed hair if you haven't already.

Don't give up on self-relaxing! If I can do it, you can do it!!
 
Oh yeah and I don't base either. I base just around my hairline and allover my cheeks. I get barely any relaxer on the scalp using the tint brush to apply relaxer.
 
pink_flower said:
I remember reading on here that ladies who based there hair with grease experienced underprocessing(Karonica?). I *think* that might be the problem. Maybe you can use something lighter like oil sheen or a creamy moisturizer..
Click to expand...
That's what I've been doing wrong. Thanks so much!!!
 
I'm sorry this happened Anky, but on a brighter note, your hair has grown so much. :love: It's absolutely beautiful! I truly need to visit your album more often.:)
 
Awww...and their's no one in New Orleans that you know that really knows how to relax hair well enough? That's sad! Everybody in N.O. must still want bone straight hair.
 
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