Am I Wrong For Not Wanting To Pay My Mom To Braid My Hair?

mostamaziing

mostamaziing

Hi I'm Chrissy (✿◠‿◠)
Soo I recently started wearing wigs and asked my mom to braid my hair. She gave me 5 fat braids that lasted barely two weeks before they started looking rough and matted.

I took them down yesterday and I texted her (we don't live together my grandma adopted me but she's always been in my life) asking her to braid it again and she hit me with a 'I normally charge $20 to braid someone's hair and you know some salons charge $40-60 to braid hair'

Bruh.

I couldn't even argue. I just laughed and reminded her she promised to give me money for making thanksgiving dinner last year. I got it done last night but now I'm dreading the next time I need my hair braided.

But I think I'm more so annoyed at the fact she's my mom and actually wants to charge me.

I mean I could see $5 but $20 for 5-6 braids every two weeks??????
 
my mom charges me to do my taxes, it's one of her side hustles, but she wouldn't charge me to put some simple braids or twists in my hair.

ETA: I should probably add that if I asked her to do my taxes for free, she would, but I want to support her business.
 
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I'm sorry I wouldn't expect my mom to charge me for anything. But i would be understanding and be like we are going out to a restaurant next week or something to that effect, small token of my appreciation. Just to show that i'm not taking anything for granted. But honestly if we can't count on our mothers for a simple thing to be free who are we going to count on in this world? And mind you there is a difference between abusing someone (even your parents) and wanting a helping hand from time to time from family.
 
You aren't wrong. This sounds like its about more than her just braiding your hair. She has either always been this type of person or she feels unappreciated or resentful about something.

You can pay her and you should if you want her to do it every week. But paying her will probably further change your relationship and long term create a even more resentful environment on both sides. Maybe there is something you can do to make her feel appreciated or to strengthen the bond between the two of you.
 
Sounds like you and your mom have a strained relationship at best. I would pay her this last time and be as sweet and nice as I could. I wouldn't change a thing and may even take her out to lunch after...(to preserve the relationship).. But I would never ever ask her to braid my hair again. Why you ask, because I would never ask a loved one to do something that could potentially cause bitterness on either of the persons involved. It's not fair to the relationship.
One more thing, why not learn to braid yourself since it's only a few braids.
 
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I knew a mom like this. She charged her daughter for everything including hair, rent to stay therr even though she was like 20 in college and working, and food even! She was really hood too. I was sure she resented or was jealous of her daughter. It was about way more than hair. .

OP, maybe its time you practice and learn to braid your own hair. It doesn't have to be perfect if its going under a wig. As long as they are not puffy you'll be alright. And the more you do it, they better and longer they well last.
 
Well, I hate to be the one naysayer, but I don't think that it's right to assume that your parents are going to do things for you for free once you become an adult. That comes off as very entitled and immature to me. As an adult it's your responsibility to get your needs met. Now there are many parents who do continue to do things for free for their children, my mom continues to surprise me with the things she willingly does for me, but everything she does in my mind is above and beyond the call of duty and I am blessed. But I don't think it's right to compare parents and make our parents "wrong" just because they don't do the same things as someone else's parents. Not only that, but as someone mentioned above, not all parents can afford to be so generous with their time and money. Life is hard. And not everyone is able to be as successful.

I know there must be very complex dynamics going on between you and your mom based off of the upbringing you mentioned and I hope you are able to work through this situation. But I just wanted to share another point of view for you to consider as you are processing through this. Best of luck.
 
OP, if your mom does a good job, and is accessible to your request for service, and exercises care of your hair when working ...Then Yes please pay her for what she does. AT THE SAME time I'd highly suggest you learn to do your own braids. Some personalities are what they are.....So......consider it an investment in the health of your hair....

Watch YouTube videos to learn the technique, take down just 1 of her braids and practice your a$$ off; and do so until you learn it to your satisfaction. From then on between sessions you can do your own head of braids over by taking 1 down at time and "refreshing" the look.

Her fee is rather small compared to the amount of $$$ "we" POC have paid to the African Braiders to snatch our hair out by the roots!
 
I used to microbraid my mom's hair for free. Then she started to get picky with it, so I started to charge her. That's MY TIME that I could beasily doing something else.
So I agree that you should be paying her for the service she's giving you. If not, learn to braid, so you don't have to be dependent on her.
 
Mom is charging you to try to discourage this from becoming a habit....not sure why (are you very picky? did you complain about the 5 braids she did last time? does she have to come over by your house? etc etc)

I don't think she really needs the extra $20 per month. I don't think i would charge my child though , but the relationship dynamics are more than likely different.

eta: I wouldn't charge my child but if they seemed ungrateful and said something slick about how I had done it previously, I probably would say something like "if you go somewhere else they would charge you $x for this this you know".
 
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Yeah, I agree with this.

OP, you are getting on your mother's last nerve in some kind of way. :laugh:

LeftRightRepeat said:
Mom is charging you to try to discourage this from becoming a habit....not sure why (are you very picky? did you complain about the 5 braids she did last time? does she have to come over by your house? etc etc)

I don't think she really needs the extra $20 per month. I don't think i would charge my child though , but the relationship dynamics are more than likely different.

eta: I wouldn't charge my child but if they seemed ungrateful and said something slick about how I had done it previously, I probably would say something like "if you go somewhere else they would charge you $x for this this you know".
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MileHighDiva said:
My response is contextual. Does she need the money? Is she struggling, right now?
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She's honestly the definition of struggle. And sad to say I actually lost a lot of respect for her due to her poor management of her money.

Shes perfectly healthy physically but chooses to live entirely on a disability check every month. Her mental health from poor choices she's made in her early days isn't the best, but she functions very fine with medication. She's had jobs and could still work for extra money without them cutting her off completely but she chooses not to stay committed to any job she starts.

My issue though is how wasteful she is. She will spend her money on the most unnecessary things like she's addicted to going to flea markets and the second hand stores to buy things and clothes she doesn't need and try to resell them after she's gotten a few good wears out of it. She'll shamelessly eat in restaurants too and send the food back if she doesn't have enough money claiming it doesn't taste right.

So yes she's struggling but she could do so much better. She bums and borrows from everyone in our family after she blows her money on junk and will ask gas money from my grandma every time to take her places.

So do you think she's inclined to ask $20 for giving me 5 braids?
 
sunnieb said:
My mom wouldn't charge me, but our relationship is different. She raised me.

She's showing you who she is, so that's that.
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Chile...all this. All day. Sometimes you gotta take ppl for who they are going to be, not who they should be. Whether it's right or not on their part. I would save myself some headache/heartache and find someone else to do the braids and pay $15 at most.
 
*CherryPie* said:
Yeah, I agree with this.

OP, you are getting on your mother's last nerve in some kind of way. :laugh:
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Now that you mention it she kinda huffs when she's braiding my hair like I think it hurts her fingers.

But shoot I won't make it a habit if she's gonna charge now.. Like I thought she'd like doing it since she used to be a beatician and that'd be our small 'bonding' time lmao
 
My cousin who I'm close with tried to charge me 20 dollars to give me some beehive braids for my wig. I only gave it to her because she has a lil daughter. Otherwise I would've been like nah. Especially since I've done sew ins for her
 
mostamaziing said:
She's honestly the definition of struggle. And sad to say I actually lost a lot of respect for her due to her poor management of her money.

Shes perfectly healthy physically but chooses to live entirely on a disability check every month. Her mental health from poor choices she's made in her early days isn't the best, but she functions very fine with medication. She's had jobs and could still work for extra money without them cutting her off completely but she chooses not to stay committed to any job she starts.

My issue though is how wasteful she is. She will spend her money on the most unnecessary things like she's addicted to going to flea markets and the second hand stores to buy things and clothes she doesn't need and try to resell them after she's gotten a few good wears out of it. She'll shamelessly eat in restaurants too and send the food back if she doesn't have enough money claiming it doesn't taste right.

So yes she's struggling but she could do so much better. She bums and borrows from everyone in our family after she blows her money on junk and will ask gas money from my grandma every time to take her places.

So do you think she's inclined to ask $20 for giving me 5 braids?
Click to expand...

Thanks for being so open about the situation. I'll be sending good energy your way.
 
No. I don't think you're wrong for not wanting to pay her. I mean there's a difference between asking your mom for 5 braids and asking her to pay all your bills. I had to move back with my mom for a little while and she won't even accept rent or utility money from me. She'd never charge me for something like braiding my hair. She jokingly complains the whole way through on the few occasions I do ask but she'd never just flat out say no or ask for money. But that's just my mom, she's the exception to a lot of rules when it comes to parents. I've tried to pay her back for the countless things she's done for me as an adult and she won't take a penny. But I'm old enough to be a few people's mama and I still get Easter baskets so....:look:
 
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