Am I Wrong For Not Wanting To Pay My Mom To Braid My Hair?

So many variables to consider. But, even if my mom needed the money, she wouldn't ask, so there's no right answer here.

However, as a grown child, I take her out a lot and pay for everything - not because she asks, but because I want to. I feel that's what a grown child should do for a parent who has been there for them.
 
If she used to be a beautician, I'm sure it feels like a chore to her now.

It's like, she was done with that...now, she has to start doing it AGAIN, and REGULARLY?? I'm pretty sure, she would rather bond with you in another way. Don't nobody want to come HOME and do their job too. :laugh:

mostamaziing said:
Now that you mention it she kinda huffs when she's braiding my hair like I think it hurts her fingers.

But shoot I won't make it a habit if she's gonna charge now.. Like I thought she'd like doing it since she used to be a beatician and that'd be our small 'bonding' time lmao
Click to expand...
 
Nope my mom wouldn't/doesn't charge me. I come over to her house use her shampoo/conditioner blowdry my hair and then sit and she braids it into a beehive for me. This happens every 2-3 weeks she also does my perms for me the only thing I have to do is buy the items.

It sounds like you and your mother have a difficult relationship IF it was me I would just go some place else and pay. And if i'm going to pay someone I better not have braids that look raggedy in two weeks.
 
These are the little things that make family family. Family members should trade services. My sisters do my hair for free, and I do things for their kids for free. Our cousin is the only one in our family who charges for hair. She does this because she's a struggling beautician and this is her hustle (Meaning she never took her cosmetology test but wants people to treat her the same as they would someone who works in a shop). OP it appears that that's been the tone of y'alls relationship (I've never heard of paying a family member to cook a holiday meal). But if that's normal for y'all then pay her the money.
 
mostamaziing said:
She's honestly the definition of struggle. And sad to say I actually lost a lot of respect for her due to her poor management of her money.

Shes perfectly healthy physically but chooses to live entirely on a disability check every month. Her mental health from poor choices she's made in her early days isn't the best, but she functions very fine with medication. She's had jobs and could still work for extra money without them cutting her off completely but she chooses not to stay committed to any job she starts.

My issue though is how wasteful she is. She will spend her money on the most unnecessary things like she's addicted to going to flea markets and the second hand stores to buy things and clothes she doesn't need and try to resell them after she's gotten a few good wears out of it. She'll shamelessly eat in restaurants too and send the food back if she doesn't have enough money claiming it doesn't taste right.

So yes she's struggling but she could do so much better. She bums and borrows from everyone in our family after she blows her money on junk and will ask gas money from my grandma every time to take her places.

So do you think she's inclined to ask $20 for giving me 5 braids?
Click to expand...

Children, honor your parents lest your days be cut short. Amen
 
Hopefully you and your moms relationship can improve in the future. In the meantime you should practice by watching YouTube.

And no I would not pay my mother :lol: In college she installed BSL pencil-sized box braid on my head 2x a year for free. But I also give freely of my time and money for her.
 
KinksAndInk said:
No. I don't think you're wrong for not wanting to pay her. I mean there's a difference between asking your mom for 5 braids and asking her to pay all your bills. I had to move back with my mom for a little while and she won't even accept rent or utility money from me. She'd never charge me for something like braiding my hair. She jokingly complains the whole way through on the few occasions I do ask but she'd never just flat out say no or ask for money. But that's just my mom, she's the exception to a lot of rules when it comes to parents. I've tried to pay her back for the countless things she's done for me as an adult and she won't take a penny. But I'm old enough to be a few people's mama and I still get Easter baskets so....:look:
Click to expand...
That right there would be my mom....and the mom I would always be to my children. I'm sorry but you are allowed to count on your parents for 5 braids...danm that means she won't even babysit, if need be? Please everybody here talking about she shouldn't count on her mom for braids but have their mom watching their kids for free....:lachen:
 
Wow, my mom's no longer with me but she would never ask me to pay her to braid my hair as I would never charge her. That's the kind of relationship we had.

Some things are just not expected with family this close relationally. I don't think she should have asked you to pay her but if she did, then to keep peace, I think you should.

Like others suggested, try to learn to braid your own hair or just plait it up in a few celies keeping them flat enough for your wigs.

I remember before I learned to braid/plait my own hair, my niece used to do them for me. She never asked me for a dollar but I tipped her $10 everytime and told to have lunch on me. I'm pretty sure she gave it to her son for his lunch though.
 
Last edited:
RocStar said:
All of dis for $20? Pay your mom and keep it moving.
Click to expand...

So once these braids come loose next week and I haven't learned how to braid my own hair you think me giving her $20 for 5 braids is reasonable? :look: Got it.

FearlessNik said:
OP it appears that that's been the tone of y'alls relationship (I've never heard of paying a family member to cook a holiday meal). But if that's normal for y'all then pay her the money.
Click to expand...

Actually she volunteered and insisted on paying half of what all I spent making thanksgiving. I could have easily been on top of her about her promise but I let it go because I mean.. She's my mom.. And she's not the only one who ate so.. I had to bring that up to get out of giving her $20 this time but yeah no that's not normal for her ever giving me money.
 
My mom flat twist are cold and I can't do them to save my life so I go to her and she's overjoyed when she gets to do my hair. I don't think she would dream of charging me and we have an estranged relationship. My friends and I don't charge each other either... (Well they don't charge me bc I don't do other people's hair :lol:) you don't have anyone else you know to braid it?
 
I never charged my mom to do her hair, but she would never allow me to do her hair for free. I would have just paid her and told I how I wanted it braided. I don't see the big deal.
 
mostamaziing said:
So once these braids come loose next week and I haven't learned how to braid my own hair you think me giving her $20 for 5 braids is reasonable? :look: Got it.



Actually she volunteered and insisted on paying half of what all I spent making thanksgiving. I could have easily been on top of her about her promise but I let it go because I mean.. She's my mom.. And she's not the only one who ate so.. I had to bring that up to get out of giving her $20 this time but yeah no that's not normal for her ever giving me money.
Click to expand...

This is too much. It's like a business arrangement or roommates quibbling over who pays for what part of which meal
On the other hand, my mom sometimes makes me pay for stuff (like I had to buy my first car from her but later she gave me her car and had me give my car to my brother who didn't pay me for it). I didn't quibble, it was her car and if I wanted it I had to pay for it. If that's what she's charging ultimately you know the price so either pay her or get on YouTube and learn how to cornrow
 
I'm surprised people are still responding to this lol bless your hearts. I appreciate each and every one of your opinions on this.

So far I've been watching a bunch of YouTube tutorials and practicing with my wig on my mannequin head. I find it easier doing on someone else lol but I don't want braiding my hair to feel like a chore to my mom.

But I'm sure as heck glad I'm not the only one who felt her charging her daughter $20 for 5 braids was crazy. :look:
 
mostamaziing said:
She's honestly the definition of struggle. And sad to say I actually lost a lot of respect for her due to her poor management of her money.

Shes perfectly healthy physically but chooses to live entirely on a disability check every month. Her mental health from poor choices she's made in her early days isn't the best, but she functions very fine with medication. She's had jobs and could still work for extra money without them cutting her off completely but she chooses not to stay committed to any job she starts.

My issue though is how wasteful she is. She will spend her money on the most unnecessary things like she's addicted to going to flea markets and the second hand stores to buy things and clothes she doesn't need and try to resell them after she's gotten a few good wears out of it. She'll shamelessly eat in restaurants too and send the food back if she doesn't have enough money claiming it doesn't taste right.

So yes she's struggling but she could do so much better. She bums and borrows from everyone in our family after she blows her money on junk and will ask gas money from my grandma every time to take her places.

So do you think she's inclined to ask $20 for giving me 5 braids?
Click to expand...

Wait a minute, you are judging your mother who has mental illness and is on disability? I think you need to develop a more mature outlook on this situation. She's not well. Did you ever consider this? Mental illness is an.....illness that affects every aspect of life, even decision-making. Cut her some slack, please, and learn about mental illness and how you cannot compare someone sick with someone without those issues. Find another braider or practice on Youtube...but that is definitely not easy. Be kind to your mom, though. I tried to edit this to sound less harsh.
 
Last edited:
kanozas said:
Wait a minute, you are judging your mother who has mental illness and is on disability? You need to grow up, hon. She's not well. Did you ever consider this? Mental illness is an.....illness that affects every aspect of life, even decision-making. You're angry at her for being adopted by your grandmother. Maybe your mother wasn't capable of raising you. Cut her some slack, please and learn about mental illness. I tried to edit this to sound less harsh.
Click to expand...

hi there! Let me start off by saying I'm uh.. Sorry you feel like I'm judging my mom for having a 'mental illness'? I was mostly judging the price she gave me for braiding my hair but :look: I can see how you'd think that with all the info I put in this post like I tend to be extremely open and detailed when I talk about my life when someone asks the most basic questions :lol: I get it from my dad, apparently.

You and my former therapist both share the same thought that I'm mad at my mom for not taking care of me but kept my brothers so I guess that's double confirmation? That's cool. It's more of a resentment I think that's built up over the years of me finding out other things on top of learning that so yeah you both are right, I guess.

And I should add that I've been hospitalized for a week straight my junior year of high school and took meds myself so yes ma'am, I know a thing or two about mental illness first hand.. And as for 'cutting her some slack' ..I guess I can continue to do that.

And I edited this to quote your original post I got in my email. No need to try to sound less harsh I mean if that's how you feel that's how you feel. I don't feel bad for writing everything I wrote in my original personal posts -hence why they haven't been edited or deleted-
But I do I love hearing opinions from other people even if there's some criticism sprinkled in there. Shoot teach my ass a thing or two if you feel the need to. I'm listening :yawn:
 
Your mother sucks.

I would never ask this woman for another thing in my life and just pay someone else. They'd probably do a better job anyways.
 
mostamaziing said:
hi there! Let me start off by saying I'm uh.. Sorry you feel like I'm judging my mom for having a 'mental illness'? I was mostly judging the price she gave me for braiding my hair but :look: I can see how you'd think that with all the info I put in this post like I tend to be extremely open and detailed when I talk about my life when someone asks the most basic questions :lol: I get it from my dad, apparently.

You and my former therapist both share the same thought that I'm mad at my mom for not taking care of me but kept my brothers so I guess that's double confirmation? That's cool. It's more of a resentment I think that's built up over the years of me finding out other things on top of learning that so yeah you both are right, I guess.

And I should add that I've been hospitalized for a week straight my junior year of high school and took meds myself so yes ma'am, I know a thing or two about mental illness first hand.. And as for 'cutting her some slack' ..I guess I can continue to do that.

And I edited this to quote your original post I got in my email. No need to try to sound less harsh I mean if that's how you feel that's how you feel. I don't feel bad for writing everything I wrote in my original personal posts -hence why they haven't been edited or deleted-
But I do I love hearing opinions from other people even if there's some criticism sprinkled in there. Shoot teach my ass a thing or two if you feel the need to. I'm listening :yawn:
Click to expand...

I applaud your candor and self reflection. A lot of people don't have that skill.

I hope you find peace!

Oh yeah, you can do them braids. I have the strugglest of struggle braids under my wig and no one knows. Lol.
 
mostamaziing said:
hi there! Let me start off by saying I'm uh.. Sorry you feel like I'm judging my mom for having a 'mental illness'? I was mostly judging the price she gave me for braiding my hair but :look: I can see how you'd think that with all the info I put in this post like I tend to be extremely open and detailed when I talk about my life when someone asks the most basic questions :lol: I get it from my dad, apparently.

You and my former therapist both share the same thought that I'm mad at my mom for not taking care of me but kept my brothers so I guess that's double confirmation? That's cool. It's more of a resentment I think that's built up over the years of me finding out other things on top of learning that so yeah you both are right, I guess.

And I should add that I've been hospitalized for a week straight my junior year of high school and took meds myself so yes ma'am, I know a thing or two about mental illness first hand.. And as for 'cutting her some slack' ..I guess I can continue to do that.

And I edited this to quote your original post I got in my email. No need to try to sound less harsh I mean if that's how you feel that's how you feel. I don't feel bad for writing everything I wrote in my original personal posts -hence why they haven't been edited or deleted-
But I do I love hearing opinions from other people even if there's some criticism sprinkled in there. Shoot teach my ass a thing or two if you feel the need to. I'm listening :yawn:
Click to expand...


Yes, I edited to make it less "harsh"-sounding because I'm pretty matter-of-fact and I often have to go back and see it through another's eyes. I do think you're holding resentment because she's not capable of being the mother you wanted. But look to the bright side, your grandmother stepped in. Was she good to you? THAT is your mother. :) Sometimes, you have to let it go. There will remain this space of wanting to be wanted but if that person cannot offer that to you and has mental illness, cut her slack. At least she acknowledges you and allowed you to be raised properly. Maybe she couldn't raise a female child because it was a reflection of her failures? Plus, if she's dysfunctional like that, then she would definitely need money. I'd find another braider (friend, cousin, pay a college student 5 bucks) and save yourself the agony of going back over your history. That's not good for you. Let the next chapter BE the next chapter...she couldn't give you what you wanted. You had your own bought with ?depression? but look how far you've come. Do not look backwards, look forwards. Look to your accomplishments in the face of her dysfunction. You are very blessed to have a loving family to step in the gap. People let us down, often. But when you have children in future, you can be the best mother and avoid all of that. Blessings. Thank you for being patient and non-messy cuz this could have gone very downhill lol. You are a nice kid with a lot of insight and humility. More of us should follow suit. If you can afford, can you give your mom a 20 or a 10 every now and then, just because?
 
Wow, you still get Easter baskets? I'm jealous.......LOL

This is a great story and a lesson to us all I think.

KinksAndInk said:
No. I don't think you're wrong for not wanting to pay her. I mean there's a difference between asking your mom for 5 braids and asking her to pay all your bills. I had to move back with my mom for a little while and she won't even accept rent or utility money from me. She'd never charge me for something like braiding my hair. She jokingly complains the whole way through on the few occasions I do ask but she'd never just flat out say no or ask for money. But that's just my mom, she's the exception to a lot of rules when it comes to parents. I've tried to pay her back for the countless things she's done for me as an adult and she won't take a penny. But I'm old enough to be a few people's mama and I still get Easter baskets so....:look:
Click to expand...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

T
How to braid hair for a "Braid Out"
Replies
18
Views
11K
Poohbear
Poohbear
krikit96
Did she braid my hair wrong???
2 3
Replies
74
Views
16K
diva24
diva24
S
My Fiance braids my hair :)
Replies
8
Views
1K
wadadligyal
wadadligyal
D
BRAID OR NOT TO BRAID
Replies
9
Views
1K
Lee
L
T
I want to learn how to do my own braids
Replies
6
Views
5K
Satrina
Satrina
Back
Top