Am I a Self-Relaxing Failure?! (I think so!)

[sengschick]

Well, I thought I was the ish... I was going to be empowered and take my complete hair care into my own hands. My hair is in wonderful condition and my first six months @ LHCF has truly been most beneficial to my hair. I was also petrified to take another risk w/a stylist after my last texturizing disaster. Okay, so I ordered my PhytoRelaxer, read, checked LHCF for tips etc. Well I must have had too much info b/c somewhere I read you don't need to smooth it b/c it's a chemical. Mistake #1 /images/graemlins/look.gif. I used a mild relaxer and a little smoothing would have made all the difference I needed. So I still kinda have new growth though I relaxed a week ago /images/graemlins/ohwell.gif, but my new growth isn't difficult to manage so I'll worry w/it later.

Okay, but here's the big issue, I had to correct my last texturizer b/c I had 4 different hair textures to manage. Well one side in the back is perfect (so I'm much more even than I was before), but I think a section of it is overprocessed. For some reason I neutralized it like crazy, but it keep feeling like relaxer was still on it, well now it's dry and I'm paranoid that it's going to all break. I rollerset this weekend, which means I comb my hair way more often than typical so I'm seeing broken hairs along w/my normal shedding. I'm fighting off panic-mode, but I need advice, anything I can do? Or any ideas on what happened? Now I'm thinking maybe I should use Affirm w/Lye next time /images/graemlins/perplexed.gif.

I'm planning to use Emergencee the next time I poo and I did an ACV rinse, hoping to strip anything that maybe on my hair shaft. Still feeling that dryness though /images/graemlins/ohwell.gif.

 

[aqualung]

[ QUOTE ]
Mistake #1 /images/graemlins/look.gif. I used a mild relaxer and a little smoothing would have made all the difference I needed.

[/ QUOTE ]
I made this mistake 12/2003 when I attempted to do my own touch up. I smoothed with my fingers and not the comb for only 11 minutes.

Don't be too hard on yourself!

 

[bocagirl]

Of course you are not a failure. You now know what you did wrong and what you need to do next time to get it perfect.

As to the big issue I can't help but just wanted to congratulate you on trying at least.

 

[Queenie]

I think the Emergencee and a LOT of moisture. Chemicals really dry out your hair. It took a week and 2-3 cond washes after my last texturizer to get my hair back to feeling soft agin.

 

[KAddy]

No SC, you are not a failure.

Like bocagirl said, now that you know what did not work, now you can try another technique. I think your plan to use Emergencee will work and just keep it moisturized. I am not sure about the dryness feel, so I think keeping your hair moisturized will work. No need to panic though. Also, when you roller set, what do you use to clip the rollers (snap tops or metal clips) My girl once tried to roller set her hair and applied the metal clip incorrectly and it "cut" her hair. At first she thought it was break, but soon realized it was the technique she used to roll her hair.

 

[Tracy]

/images/graemlins/wave.gif Hey girl!

I also thought I was a self-relaxing reject until I re-considered. I doubt you overprocessed. If you were worried about it, you probably overcompensated right there and then and neutralized well. The re-consideration involved a little memory jogging, and reminding myself that I had "issues" with prior touch ups that I hadn't done myself. So I'm not having any more "issues" now than I did then, I'm just hyper-sensitive to "issues" because I did it myself and was less than confident about my ability to complete the task without incident.

I would just Emergencee up, and leave it for a while. When I first did my hair, I initially thought it came out too straight. After a week or two, it was fine.

If you're doing well with lye I would caution you not to switch tho. I swtiched to no-lye and am noticing the difference in my scalp already (it's dry and flaky and was never that before). It wasn't the switch itself that caused the problem. The truth is lye relaxers just work better on me. My task is going to be figuring out how to not burn myself. Basing won't help - I did that last time. /images/graemlins/ohwell.gif

I'm pretty sure it's not all going to break tho. We always expect the worst when we do something to our hair, and usually it's never as bad as we think it's gonna be. Chin up, chica! /images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[Tracy]

Disregard my "lye" commentary. Not applicable. I forgot you used Phyto. /images/graemlins/spinning.gif

 

[sengschick]

Thanks Ladies /images/graemlins/Rose.gif as always you are all gems. /images/graemlins/kiss.gif I hope you are all right.

@Boca, Kaddy, Queenie: Thanks ladies. I have been saved many times when I thought all was lost. So I'm keeping the faith. This was only wash number 2, so I'll see what happens. It felt drier after day one but day two and the rest of the time my hair felt super soft /images/graemlins/ohwell.gif. So I thought I was game tight, but not now /images/graemlins/nono.gif.

@Tracy: Thank you. You know I appreciate your advice. I think my scalp had been scratched by the teeth in my stretch comb, so maybe that's what happened. I was loading that section w/neutralizing poo, so maybe that's what I did. It's just a little drier than I'm used to. /images/graemlins/look.gif I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'm going back on the Emergencee regimine until I get this together. As for self-relaxing again.... I'm not sure. I think I need to practice w/conditioner /images/graemlins/look.gif and wait on the mister to assist.

@MegonW: Thanks. I was just disparing thinking, if I can't trust a stylist or MYSELF what in the world AM I to do??? What do you do w/the comb? You use the back smooth the hair?

 

[AudraChanell]

If at first you don't succeed ... get back on that horse girlie! You'll be just fine. You got some great tips here /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[aqualung]

[ QUOTE ]
@MegonW: Thanks. I was just disparing thinking, if I can't trust a stylist or MYSELF what in the world AM I to do??? What do you do w/the comb? You use the back smooth the hair?

[/ QUOTE ]
I haven't attempted to relax my own hair since last December. At the salon, my stylist has to comb through my new growth very thoroughly during the application because I'm a 4b and the curl is TIGHT. He uses the teeth of a rat tail comb, NOT the back edge of it.

 

[sengschick]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
@MegonW: Thanks. I was just disparing thinking, if I can't trust a stylist or MYSELF what in the world AM I to do??? What do you do w/the comb? You use the back smooth the hair?

[/ QUOTE ]
I haven't attempted to relax my own hair since last December. At the salon, my stylist has to comb through my new growth very thoroughly during the application because I'm a 4b and the curl is TIGHT. He uses the teeth of a rat tail comb, NOT the back edge of it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks Megon! Really /images/graemlins/blush.gif. My roots have really deep waves so w/o smoothing them they just stretched. They just need to stretch a little more. The last stylist just used the wrong strength, but she just used her hands to smooth.

@Audra: I know, I think I'll give it another go. How hard could it really be /images/graemlins/look.gif.

 

[ubavka123]

I think that you'll be fine. I totally agree with Tracy that sometimes we don't give ourselves as much credit for doing a good job because we already expect that we can't because we aren't pro's. I did my own relaxer over the summer and neutralized like crazy out of paranoia. My hair was dry like straw and I thought the end was surely near. After a few moisturizing deep conditioning sessions, I was back to normal and still had all my hair on my head! You will be fine. And as the other ladies said, you know what to do and what not to do for the next go-round! /images/graemlins/smile.gif