All this talk about naturals relaxing is tempting…..

[greight]

I'm natural and not tempted at all. For the very reason you stated about the harmful chemicals. So you want to wear your hair out more often? Just do it. You can still grow and maintain your hair with wash-n-gos, twistouts, etc. Try different things say, 3times a week and hide your hair for 4 days. Don't make any big decisions now because you know that getting rid of the perm later will mean growing it out and cutting the ends all over again.

I'm not the OP, but the problem is that once you hit a certain length, tangles + SSKs are a beast. I tried leaving my hair out/WnGo and it was horrible. I have fine hair and twist-outs are no bueno either.

As for the general discussion, I have been considering a texlax. I'd like to have a different style for the next few years and I am so TIRED of detangling and wash days!

Being natural has so many pro's and con's, but after 7 years, no one can say that I haven't tried

 

[Nonie]

Im never going back to relaxers i just dont get why anyone would have hair and on their scalp and always have it in twist/hidden

if thats not really how you enjoy wearing your hair relaxed or natual hair is here to enjoy so enjoy it!!

@Embyra, I know you were not referring to those like me who actually LOVE braids and twists and headwraps and really enjoy rocking these styles. I am lazy but know I do like to wear my hair out when I feel like it which is why I don't do locs, but yeah, I'm with you: no one should wear their hair in a way that feels like a prison they're not happy being in.

Press n curl is too much heat for my hair cause I would need to do it on a weekly basis. My hair gets dirty quick so by 1 week i start shedding. the press n curl could work but it is pricey for me to be spending 60 bucks every week. I've tried to do it myself but it never looks good.

@HanaKuroi
What is your hair texture? I think it is harder for people with coarser hair to wear it out. I cannot wear my hair out loose due to tangles.

@Kinkyhairlady @ms-gg has coarse type 4 hair and she wears hers out. I think it just has to do with getting more familiar with your hair so you don't have to feel "confined" into a tiny space where only certain things are allowed. If you see her blog, she is one chick who really has a blast with her hair.

Yassylane, an idol of mine, also wears her hair out weekly STRETCHED (not with heat) and her regimen is as easy as they come. (Her Fotki)

Anyway OP, I don't think relaxing or going natural should be a tough decision one needs to be torn about. It should be just something that you just decide to do. Kinda like whether to wear that pink top today or the green one. You shouldn't need anyone's conviction or advice; you should just do your homework and consider the time either will ask of you, the cost, the convenience...and do the one that feels like it's most practical for YOU. Coz everyone's opinion is based on THEIR lifestyle and comfort...not yours. And it's easy to find yourself envying someone else only to find out that they can afford it timewise, moneywise and that even their lifestyle just seems to "fit in" with the style they chose more than yours ever will. So perhaps read up threads on why people relaxed or didn't, and why people transitioned yet again or decided to relax yet again...and see if any of those reasons resonate with you. Then YOU make the decision on what to do. Forget all those who know how anti-relaxers you were. At the end of the day, it's your hair, and your time, your money, your life. So people may talk, but for how long? And if you're working it, most will probably agree you made the right choice.

And perhaps this is a lesson to all: quit telling people your bidness. You want to relax or decide to transition and others wonder why? Just say you're trying something new. Quit dissing whatever "state" you're leaving coz you may end up having to eat humble pie.

 

[Nonie]

I'm not the OP, but the problem is that once you hit a certain length, tangles + SSKs are a beast. I tried leaving my hair out/WnGo and it was horrible. I have fine hair and twist-outs are no bueno either.

As for the general discussion, I have been considering a texlax. I'd like to have a different style for the next few years and I am so TIRED of detangling and wash days!

Being natural has so many pro's and con's, but after 7 years, no one can say that I haven't tried

@greight, what length is this? I don't do twist-outs. Just have never been a fan coz I like small twist-outs anyway, and if I did them, I'd have to retwist all those many twists at night because going to bed with loose hair is an unforgivable sin in my book. With my find strands, big twist-outs would need some work to be acceptable to *me*. I do love afro puffs though. I'd rock any of these styles (I apologize in advance for anyone whose photos I'm borrowing for this. I'll be happy to take down any that anyone knows the owner would not appreciate being used.)

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This is not really an "out" style but hey, it's no different from having a French braid which takes a minute to do:

(Source)

IMO, the longer the hair is, the easier to stretch it is and the more you can do with it.

I think WNGs are not Type 4B hair friendly...so I'm not sure why people who find they cause SSKs, tangles, knots continue to fuss with them when there are so many other option. 4B hair is so versatile and so obedient. Once you stretch it and as long as you avoid using wet products, it stays stretched and if you braid it every night, it will remain obedient and easy to style in the AM. Granted if you're caught in the rain in a stretched style, You will have to carefully braid in while wet and let it airdry to get it back to a state where it's easy to whip into style again...or you could just decide to wear it shrunken for a day and then wear twists of braids for a day (Check out the Ballerina Bun Remix thread and see what Sipp100 did to her daughter's hair. Maybe you won't have it looking like that but two French braids to stretch it then maybe redo them again to further stretch it and in a day or so you have hair that can be worked into some cute updo.

I didn't include braid-outs or twist-outs because you already do that. But c'mon, are those the ONLY things our hair is capable of?

Curlformers?

(Source)

 

[Geminigirl]

Wow, so this makes me wonder if all the natural thing being a fad was true. I have no desire to relax and I wouldn't judge anyone who does. You have to do what's best for you. If all you do is wear weave and braids anyways, what's wrong with just keeping your hair like that while also maintain a healthy chemical free scalp? Unless you really want to wear your hair out but not your natural hair. Me, I'm natural for life. If I want silky straight hair I can buy a wig or get a weave.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I was always thinking about relaxing. I made a promise to myself to wait another year. I am glad I made the decision. However, you have to be satisfied with your own hair. I will always be positive in my views of both because I love the strait hair look. I never know when I will join the so called "other" side. Being natural will benefit me if ever I decide to relax. I can be confident in stretching my relaxers. That knowledge alone was worth it.

 

[TrulyMade]

I'm texlaxing next week after almost 7 years natural. For the most part, I just need a change and want more styling options. My daily bun is getting boring and detangling is way too much work. I've played with the idea of going back to chemicals for a good solid 3 years and now I'm actually ready to take the plunge again.

All I know is... I am not my hair!

 

[greight]

@greight, what length is this? I don't do twist-outs. Just have never been a fan coz I like small twist-outs anyway, and if I did them, I'd have to retwist all those many twists at night because going to bed with loose hair is an unforgivable sin in my book. With my find strands, big twist-outs would need some work to be acceptable to *me*. I do love afro puffs though. I'd rock any of these styles (I apologize in advance for anyone whose photos I'm borrowing for this. I'll be happy to take down any that anyone knows the owner would not appreciate being used.)


I think WNGs are not Type 4B hair friendly...so I'm not sure why people who find they cause SSKs, tangles, knots continue to fuss with them when there are so many other option. 4B hair is so versatile and so obedient. Once you stretch it and as long as you avoid using wet products, it stays stretched and if you braid it every night, it will remain obedient and easy to style in the AM. Granted if you're caught in the rain in a stretched style, You will have to carefully braid in while wet and let it airdry to get it back to a state where it's easy to whip into style again...or you could just decide to wear it shrunken for a day and then wear twists of braids for a day (Check out the Ballerina Bun Remix thread and see what Sipp100 did to her daughter's hair. Maybe you won't have it looking like that but two French braids to stretch it then maybe redo them again to further stretch it and in a day or so you have hair that can be worked into some cute updo.

I didn't include braid-outs or twist-outs because you already do that. But c'mon, are those the ONLY things our hair is capable of?

Nonie,
I actually have done a lot of the styles you had posted . My routine normally consists of stretching my hair from about 6 - 10 twists and then styling them in an "updo" style. The problem with that is that I need to moisturize my hair again midweek and by Friday/Saturday, the hair is a bit matted at the roots. I've done this for the last year or so. While the style itself did keep, I was really concerned for my hair since I didn't want to dry out (to prevent splitting). I had to up my protein in my regimen which meant that I had to be on point with moisturizing midweek.

Prior to that, I used to rock smaller twists for the whole head and style it, but it looked very puny since my hair is fine. Plus, I was getting issues with my ends and my hair ended up looking really frizzy if I kept spritzing.

What I'm doing now (last couple of weeks since I had more time) are more flat twist based styles (think of the typical cornrow styles, but in flat twists) so i can spritz my hair, but not have to deal with the restyling factor. I would like to keep the hairstyle for about 1 week, 2 weeks at a time.

I personally think that 4b is versatile, but having fine hair means that you have to be extra cautious about what your hair can or cannot tolerate. I can't manipulate my hair regularly and I can't do certain styles since some require more volume to look presentable. My length is about 8inches or so (I haven't done length checks in a while) and while I could try to straighten my hair, heat is not my friend since I'm prone to splits.

On another note, I don't think anything can be a fad when you been rocking it for 7 years AND you were among the first in your circle to be there . I haven't worn weaves during these years, but I've done braids, twists, etc. I can't do extensions anymore since that'll be the end of my edges.

While I'm not relaxing any time soon, I feel like I've been doing as much as I can. But hair shouldn't be a chore.

 

[Nonie]

@Nonie,
I actually have done a lot of the styles you had posted . My routine normally consists of stretching my hair from about 6 - 10 twists and then styling them in an "updo" style. The problem with that is that I need to moisturize my hair again midweek and by Friday/Saturday, the hair is a bit matted at the roots. I've done this for the last year or so. While the style itself did keep, I was really concerned for my hair since I didn't want to dry out (to prevent splitting). I had to up my protein in my regimen which meant that I had to be on point with moisturizing midweek.

@greight Do you comb your hair daily when wearing it out? I know I cannot go a day without combing my hair if wearing it loose. With the 50-100 hairs shed per day, if I didn't comb, that'd be a recipe for tangles and mats galore. When my hair is braided or twisted, the shed hair is held in a state where it cannot do its own "thang" like curl up and wrap around other strands and when I undo my twists or braids, I am careful to remove shed hair by meticulously finger combing each mini/micro section. Otherwise when wearing my hair lose, a comb needs to run from roots to ends on a daily basis. At night before I braid and in the morning when I style. If I wore a braid-out (which means no combing in the AM, I'd HAFTA comb at night before my night-time braids! There is no ifs or buts about this. The idea of not combing loose hair for more than 24 hours (unless I'm not sleeping) is just hard for me to even fathom.

@Prior to that, I used to rock smaller twists for the whole head and style it, but it looked very puny since my hair is fine. Plus, I was getting issues with my ends and my hair ended up looking really frizzy if I kept spritzing.

Really? I find the opposite with me. If I do big twists, my fine strands look so gappy even with me staggering them so each subsequent row of twists fall on the partings of those below:

If I do tiny twists, I seem to have more hair and my scalp doesn't show as much, which means a twist-out would even be fuller coz for every twist, you'd have two sections flaring out. :

What I'm doing now (last couple of weeks since I had more time) are more flat twist based styles (think of the typical cornrow styles, but in flat twists) so i can spritz my hair, but not have to deal with the restyling factor. I would like to keep the hairstyle for about 1 week, 2 weeks at a time.

Low mani styles are indeed easy to maintain and they keep tangles at bay because shed hair is not given a chance to curl back and around the attached strands...but held stretched until you undo, at which time you can remove shed hair ASAP and not give it a chance to cause havoc.

I personally think that 4b is versatile, but having fine hair means that you have to be extra cautious about what your hair can or cannot tolerate. I can't manipulate my hair regularly and I can't do certain styles since some require more volume to look presentable. My length is about 8inches or so (I haven't done length checks in a while) and while I could try to straighten my hair, heat is not my friend since I'm prone to splits.

I have fine hair so I know what you mean, which is why MINE is never given a chance to tangle. Not letting it tangle means less manipulation, so even though I comb daily when wearing it out, I am combing hair that is already in a non-tangled state so it takes a few strokes and then I'm done. Detangling would take hours and be way too much manipulation and breakage coz undoing matted roots is just . I would cut my hair before I dealt with matted hair--real talk! So that's why I don't allow it at all!!! I too don't straighten much (I last straightened in April 2009), but I do my length checks as estimates: stretch strands and measure or see where the hair reaches. I don't think the plus or minus a few centimeters will be such a big deal.

On another note, I don't think any thing can be a fad when you been rocking it for 7 years AND you were among the first in your circle to be there . I haven't worn weaves during these years, but I've done braids, twists, etc. I can't do extensions anymore since that'll be the end of my edges.

While I'm not relaxing any time soon, I feel like I've been doing as much as I can. But hair shouldn't be a chore.

I don't think anyone would think it's a fad being natural for 7 years. And yes I do agree, hair should not be a chore. Which is why I am always curious to understand what it is that makes the hair feel like a chore, coz I am yet to feel that way. But then I've been natural more years of my life than I've been relaxed so I suppose I'm really "at home" with my hair. And I found it was more work when it was shorter than it is longer...so when I hear a different opinion, I'm always intrigued to understand where someone is coming from--hence my asking. It wasn't coz I thought you jumped on some fad. I know people who wear braids and twists for years so it'd make sense to be lost on how to deal with it loose. But I didn't know what your story was and so I was just asking to understand; not to judge you or anything. Plus perhaps I might've had a suggestion that could make the difference for you. I may not have all the answers but I've usually shared stuff that seemed so obvious to me but which was a new thing to someone and they finally realized that life isn't as hard as they thought. So that's another reason I asked.

 

[Mandy4610]

I do think about relaxers but not long enough to actually consider doing it. My hair has never been this healthy and this long. I remember what relaxers did to my hair and I doubt I will ever go that direction again, but who knows....
For me, relaxing my hair is too risky at this point. I would rather straighten in order to get the relaxed hair look and then wash to get my natural hair back.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I'm not the least bit interested.

Sent from my VM670 using VM670

 

[Nonie]

I'm not the least bit interested.

Sent from my VM670 using VM670

@BEAUTYU2U, you're so uninterested that you even deleted the subject before responding^^. (I don't know if that were deliberate but it gave me hearty laugh to see that ahem "demonstration" of how you really feel.)

 

[JudithO]

lol @ ^^ .. I thought the exact same thing.

 

[Beverly Ann Properties]

Relax your hair if that is what you want to do. Just because others are doing it should not be a reason for you to jump on another bandwagon. Just do you. Personally, my natural hair journey has been rewarding and I never thought of putting another relaxer in my hair ever again. MBL 2012, here I come, kinks, coils curls and all.

 

[Your Cheeziness]

And perhaps this is a lesson to all: quit telling people your bidness. You want to relax or decide to transition and others wonder why? Just say you're trying something new. Quit dissing whatever "state" you're leaving coz you may end up having to eat humble pie.

THIIIIS! Especially those of us who blog and Youtube or are even heavy forum goers, we feel some type of way for "going back". We feel obligated by folks who don't deal with our frustrations of dealing with our hair in a state we don't prefer it (relaxer OR natural). When I'd decided to relax, I didn't say dip on my blog about it. I just showed up like...SURPRISE! I didn't want anyone to talk me out of something that I knew deep down I wanted to do.

 

[Raspberry]

I know I have said I would never go back to a relaxer. You could not pay me to because of the chemicals and the careless stylist. I seriously would not want to deal with that again. The thing is that since I’ve been natural I rarely wear my hair out. My hair is usually braided or in a weave. Right now it is braided because I don’t have time to do it due to my schedule. My texture is 4b and though I love my natural hair I just don’t have the patience to deal with it half the time so I hide it. When I was relaxed I never wore weave and rarely wore braids. All the anti relaxer talk I do I know many will give me the side eye if I do relax.

I said this when I first went natural

I dunno, it's ok to change your mind about something you used to feel strongly about, just part of living.

As far as natural vs. relaxing vs. weaves, it seems best to make a pros and cons list so you can make a good choice for yourself.

Some people feel really strongly about not relaxing as a principle so that keeps them motivated when they have seasons of being bored with their natural hair. That was my motivator for staying natural for years, but then I eventually stopped seeing relaxing or weave wearing as a matter of worldview.

 

[Raspberry]

Wow...you ladies are dropping like flies lol! Every time I see a thread like this I think of the song Another One Bites the Dust by Queen

There are a ton of long time relaxed heads going natural though..

 

[JudithO]

OndoGirl yep... It seems like healthy relaxed heads get to their goal length relaxed, the transition to natural. I agree that more relaxed people are going natural - going to other way around is just not so popular i guess... lol

 

[caltron]

@HanaKuroi My hair strands are too fine for a press and curl. I get horrible heat damage from the pressing comb. Some people with thicker strands can handle it.Constant heat to my hair will do a lot more damage than a relaxer.

@Kinkyhairlady When my hair was much shorter, I wore a two strand twist set most of the time. See this video - I retained perfectly with it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge1nVcRN5lM

I also uploaded this video with tips on how to care for our hair... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge1nVcRN5lM I hope it helps.

Prior to that, I used to rock smaller twists for the whole head and style it, but it looked very puny since my hair is fine. Plus, I was getting issues with my ends and my hair ended up looking really frizzy if I kept spritzing.

What I'm doing now (last couple of weeks since I had more time) are more flat twist based styles (think of the typical cornrow styles, but in flat twists) so i can spritz my hair, but not have to deal with the restyling factor. I would like to keep the hairstyle for about 1 week, 2 weeks at a time.

I personally think that 4b is versatile, but having fine hair means that you have to be extra cautious about what your hair can or cannot tolerate. I can't manipulate my hair regularly and I can't do certain styles since some require more volume to look presentable. My length is about 8inches or so (I haven't done length checks in a while) and while I could try to straighten my hair, heat is not my friend since I'm prone to splits.

On another note, I don't think anything can be a fad when you been rocking it for 7 years AND you were among the first in your circle to be there . I haven't worn weaves during these years, but I've done braids, twists, etc. I can't do extensions anymore since that'll be the end of my edges.

While I'm not relaxing any time soon, I feel like I've been doing as much as I can. But hair shouldn't be a chore.

I had tried various natural styles for over 10 years and I finally relaxed early this year. I have dense, very fine, tightly coiled strands and I could never find a style that worked for me.

I first started out with the press and curl, but the heat was actually just as damaging as a relaxer for my fine strands. My hair was always between neck and ear length. It took a lot of heat to really straighten my tight coils. Also, if you want to really workout you can just forget it with a press and curl with hair like mine unless you just want to do some low intensity stuff that won't cause you to sweat.

Next I started wearing my hair hidden in various kinds of braids and sew ins. I got a lot of growth, but by the time it reached shoulder length, it would always break or need to be trimmed off. With all those fine strands, it took a lot of manipulation to get the styles down and it damaged it. Also, I just got tired of the time it took to get those installed and taken down.

Then, I started wearing my natural hair out. Again, I could never find a good style that worked, esp since I am style challenged. I never had good hair days or had a day when I could say that I loved the way my hair was looking. I love the look of twists and twist outs, but with my fine strands, my hair looks very anorexic in these styles. Also, with fine hair, any slight breeze will straighten out any twist out and have you looking like a chicken. I ended up just wearing it in a pony puff every single day. I would wash it just about every 1-2 days, and it just got old.

So I went back to hiding my hair in braids and sew ins for a little over a year until I finally bit the bullet and relaxed it. I got a Phytorelaxer with a little bit of texture left. My hair is now longer than it has ever been in my life even though I don't spend as much time on it. I am able to really work out and know that I will be able to get my hair looking at least presentable in a few minutes.

Though I couldn't get natural hair to work for me, I don't think it was all for naught. I did learn a LOT about my hair and this has helped me in keeping my relaxed hair healthy. I also think I'll be able to do my dd's hair when she gets older. For my hair, I know that it is a real balancing act to keep it healthy. It can't stand harsh chemicals, harsh heat, or a lot of manipulation, but it seems to thrive with just a little bit of each and some TLC.

I still support my natural sisters and admire their hair. I feel a little sad sometimes that I couldn't get it right, but in the end I had to do what was best for me.

 

[Chameleonchick]

Wow, so this makes me wonder if all the natural thing being a fad was true. I have no desire to relax and I wouldn't judge anyone who does. You have to do what's best for you. If all you do is wear weave and braids anyways, what's wrong with just keeping your hair like that while also maintain a healthy chemical free scalp? Unless you really want to wear your hair out but not your natural hair. Me, I'm natural for life. If I want silky straight hair I can buy a wig or get a weave.

Yeah, I feel the same way too. I love my hair but I also like to change it up once in a while. I'll wear wigs if I want a different look like a color or straight hair.

Sent from my A100 using A100

 

[Country gal]

I know I have said I would never go back to a relaxer. You could not pay me to because of the chemicals and the careless stylist. I seriously would not want to deal with that again. The thing is that since I’ve been natural I rarely wear my hair out. My hair is usually braided or in a weave. Right now it is braided because I don’t have time to do it due to my schedule. My texture is 4b and though I love my natural hair I just don’t have the patience to deal with it half the time so I hide it. When I was relaxed I never wore weave and rarely wore braids. All the anti relaxer talk I do I know many will give me the side eye if I do relax.

Not sure what I will do but is it is just me or are others feeling the temptation?

Sounds like me. I am really tempted to relax. I rarely wear my hair out. I did get it done for the holidays. I am wearing is straight. It feels so good to wear my real hair out.

 

[Raspberry]

Though I couldn't get natural hair to work for me, I don't think it was all for naught. I did learn a LOT about my hair and this has helped me in keeping my relaxed hair healthy. I also think I'll be able to do my dd's hair when she gets older. For my hair, I know that it is a real balancing act to keep it healthy. It can't stand harsh chemicals, harsh heat, or a lot of manipulation, but it seems to thrive with just a little bit of each and some TLC.

I agree . Being natural definitely made me more confident about my hair and now I feel like I completely own my hair decisions. My hair experience is way different now than it was as a younger woman where hair styling felt more compulsive - like I had to get a relaxer or braids or else something unknown and unspeakable would happen.

 

[greight]

Nonie,

Nope! I try not to comb to not disturb the style as well as to keep my manipulation on the low side. It's not really matting in that the shed hairs are caught up (the style is always stretched). My hair just feels dry. When my hair is dry, the hair tends to be harder to work with and more prone to breakage/splits.

I also had mini-twists that look like yours, but my problem is that those twists end up getting frizzier and are time consuming for me on a weekend to do. I wore them for about 1+ years, but my hair didn't really reflect it. I didn't have as much protein in my regimen back then, so I was thinking about giving it another shot. I felt like it made my split ends worse, though.

Just to clarify------- My whole natural hair not being a fad thing wasn't directed at any particular person or thing, but just my thought process overall since I never decided to be a natural because that was the movement. I was kind of an accidental natural. I just stopped perming my hair, kept braiding it up. I just didn't see a use for me to put in a relaxer if it was going to get braided up. I did my own hair extensions, too. I calculated how much money I had spent on hair alone and felt that I could do this cheaper.

For me, I think that everyone should at least try to embrace their natural texture and try to work with it at some point in their life. I don't think the default should be to relax so I understand where you are coming from in your posts .

I think being natural and learning new habits of hair takes time. I spent about 4 years in extensions, 3 years without them. I think I'm going to give it another year though. You gotta get acclimated to what works/doesn't work. I've been on this forum and tried different methods, but I haven't given up yet (although I stay checking in on relaxing tips/techniques, won't lie ).

 

[BillsBackerz67]

Im relaxed and Im 7 months post. I was natural for 7 years before I decided to relax again...the issue for me was SSK...made my ends look horrible no matter what I did to prevent them. The cure to SSK for me was montly flatiron...but over time that caused awful split ends. My natural hair doesnt hold styles like cornrows twists etc very well. A lot of natural styles that the 4a/b ladies display in this thread i cant do anyway. So in a way Im not missing out on much in the style department.

IMO So relaxing helped my situation. I still have loads of texture, thickness, shine, and body without the split ends and knots. In fact no one even knows I relaxed my hair

More than Ill go natural again when I decide to keep my hair at a maintenance length, where I would be trimming every other month or so

 

[greight]

THIIIIS! Especially those of us who blog and Youtube or are even heavy forum goers, we feel some type of way for "going back". We feel obligated by folks who don't deal with our frustrations of dealing with our hair in a state we don't prefer it (relaxer OR natural). When I'd decided to relax, I didn't say dip on my blog about it. I just showed up like...SURPRISE! I didn't want anyone to talk me out of something that I knew deep down I wanted to do.

I'm pretty sure most of my friends IRL will cry if I relax. Ironically, I think my non-black friends will be the most emotional . I try not to talk hair because I made the mistake of telling one non-black friend my issues and she sounded so sad for me

I think I once talked about shaving my head (when I was natural) and all my friends GASPED at the idea of me cutting my hair (it was APL at that point). Moral of the story: people don't like change so don't tell them, lol.

 

[greight]

Im relaxed and Im 7 months post. I was natural for 7 years before I decided to relax again...the issue for me was SSK...made my ends look horrible no matter what I did to prevent them. The cure to SSK for me was montly flatiron...but over time that caused awful split ends. My natural hair doesnt hold styles like cornrows twists etc very well. A lot of natural styles that the 4a/b ladies display in this thread i cant do anyway. So in a way Im not missing out on much in the style department.

IMO So relaxing helped my situation. I still have loads of texture, thickness, shine, and body without the split ends and knots. In fact no one even knows I relaxed my hair

SSKs are such a beast . I trimmed my hair and have been looking out for them ever since. If I feel a knot, I hold that one strand of hair until I find my trimming scissors.

@ 2nd bolded---- straight gangsta!

 

[Raspberry]

I'm pretty sure most of my friends IRL will cry if I relax. Ironically, I think my non-black friends will be the most emotional . I try not to talk hair because I made the mistake of telling one non-black friend my issues and she sounded so sad for me

I think I once talked about shaving my head (when I was natural) and all my friends GASPED at the idea of me cutting my hair (it was APL at that point). Moral of the story: people don't like change so don't tell them, lol.

lol basically. One of my friends was surprisingly emotional and adamant when I told her I was thinking of relaxing - keep in mind she has a relaxer and has never been natural, it was weird. I also had a few natural friends try to talk me out of it but they got over, it wasn't a huge deal. I did understand where they were coming from though, especially since the vast majority of women who have ever relaxed have had some kind of setback or major disappointment with their hair. Healthy, long, relaxed hair is definitely the minority case outside of hair boards.

Since relaxing I've had a lot of friends & co-workers gushing over itand a few have said this is really "me," which I don't quite get .. I'm thinking they just prefer my relaxed hair over my locs.

 

[ResultsMayVary]

I did a brazillian keratin treatment to replace that "I want a relaxer" feeling and my curls never came back, so here I am transitioning again.

I'd suggest really thinking it over and paying no attention to all the "talk about relaxing", only do it if you want to.

 

[JudithO]

^^ Oh no!!

 

[HanaKuroi]

Ooops mods while
Reading the post somehow while grabbing my phone I accidentally reported a post here as spam. It was an accident.


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[LovelyNaps26]

no one has really said this and I will at the risk of getting the side eye. for some hair textures relaxers can be really difficult to maintain. not everyone can relax every 8 weeks w/o their hair breaking off. heck, relaxers won't work for some no matter what method they use (i.e. their scalp has an adverse reaction).

if that's the reason someone went natural then relaxing really wont make sense IMO. it's like being allergic to silver and you stop wearing for 3 years and think that you'll be fine if you wear it again. for most though it was improper technique that led to damaged hair when relaxed. this can be modified appropriately. knowing this can save you time an stress.