Here's some questions that might help you pinpoint your problem
Do you use shampoo? I'm sure you don't since you know about conditioner washes, but if you do, you might wanna cut down on shampooing because it dries your hair out.
You might also wanna review your conditioner. I'm transitioning and conditioning washes dry my natural hair out. It works for everyone else but me
Do you use a wig cap or did you line your wig with satin, silk, or any other non absorbing fabric? If you didn't the wig can be absorbing moisture from your hair throughout the day.
You
might need to clarify. Over a period of time you can get build up from products on your scalp and hair. This prevents conditioner and moisturizers from penetrating the hair shaft -- so it's basically coating your hair instead of penetrating. If you want a homemade and effective clarifier you can make at home, check out the
Baking Soda Clarifying Treatment (scroll down some)
You might also wanna look over the antidandruff treatment you're applying to your hair. If you want an antidandruff treatment that's more natural you can try combining essential oils like Lavendar, Tea Tree, and Rosemary. You can click
here to find more oils that nuetralize dandruff. Then again, your antidandruff treatment might NOT be drying your hair out. Look at the ingredients and if there's anything that you can't identify try researching for more info on it at google.com or some other search engine.
I know you want shea butter to be your last resort. I know what you mean. It's ucky feeling and hard to apply to the hair. I'm gonna try this
Whipped Butters recipe from snowdrift.com. They show you how to make your butters a better consistancy for easy applying.
Are you drinking enough water? It's important to consider what you're putting inside your body, too.
Remember, water is moisture so you should try focusing on sealing that moisture.
It's a lot of factors that contribute to dry hair. I hope these questions help find a solution. God Bless!