Agonizing decision- about to relax hair after 1 year transition

[Golden75]

Whatever your decision good luck. I know it is a difficult one. I won't have to make this decision for another 4 months (1yr post) but I am already trying to decide now, and it changes every moment. I'm in a full weave so I don't have to deal with it, but when the weave comes out for good, it will be a hard decision. All in all, it does take a long time to get to where you are now, but you can always relax or go natural at any point in your life. Keep us posted on the final decision.

 

[nomoweavesfome]

I'm transitioning and when I get frustrated I look at youtube videos, fotkis, or change up my style but you need to be happy in whatever you choose. You can always transition again

girl - I have too and that did bring me this far. I think the more I lost my crutch- (relaxed hair) the more reality hit that I am really not feeling this aesthetically and was not feeling the maintenance. I mean - I love the idea, I love the look I can pull off artificially, and I love all of you's. Many of you are such inspiration.

 

[AvaSpeaks]

lol- I'm sayin - I was in the BSS for like an hour in the daggone relaxer aisle like I hate that I want to do this, but I so want to.

if you really want to do it, then do it.

First people were scared to go natural because of what other people would think of us.

Now people are scared to go back to the relaxer because of what other people will think of us.

Make up your own mind and do what you want to do because it's your hair and scalp and nobody's else. You know deep down what you REALLY want to do. So go ahead and do it and don't worry about what other people think. And don't say you don't care because if you did you wouldn't be asking for advice or be so torn.



:nothingfunny:

 

[Grand Prix]

i know baby- I actually only have about 10% relaxed hair on most of my head anyhow. There are parts that are completely natural. I did my last mini chop about 3 1/2 weeks ago really close to the natural to get an idea of what it would be like and I instantly felt like not only I made a mistake, but now I really was in for the FIGHT for real. I just look like Kizzy and the maintenance got 10 times worse.

You guys u got your pretty coils and curls and can use products like eco and kccc and do wash n gos- see all that stuff is out the window for me. It doesn't work.

How do you feel about BCing?
You're sooo close!
And, not all naturals have curl patterns but still have awesome hair. You never really know until you try..
Do you not like the idea of wearing fro's or puffs?
4b's look great with those.

You even got a mini chop.. It's definitately your decision, but I would hate to see your year of hard work go to waste.

 

[SignatureBeauty]

Do it if that is what you want, I have done it several times, been back and forth with natural and relaxed, but hoping to stay natural this time around, just post some pictures when you are done!

 

[mrsjohnson75]

girl - I have too and that did bring me this far. I think the more I lost my crutch- (relaxed hair) the more reality hit that I am really not feeling this aesthetically and was not feeling the maintenance. I mean - I love the idea, I love the look I can pull off artificially, and I love all of you's. Many of you are such inspiration.

Yeah I feel you on that and I have felt the same way. I'm been relaxed for 25+ years so this transition is a learning process and I know that fully natural will be learning process too when I get to that point. I'm having a bad hair day today...but that's OK because I have had bad hair days as a relaxed head. I just take it day by day.

Just do you and be happy about it and always remember that you can go back to whatever you want when you want

 

[AvaSpeaks]

Do it if that is what you want, I have done it several times, been back and forth with natural and relaxed, but hoping to stay natural this time around, just post some pictures when you are done!

Exactly! And you now know what good techniques you do with Relaxed hair if you decide to go back.

And there are alot of threads about growing out the natural hair as well.

Or if you decide to do something else. Just do what you want to do and don give a cat's tail.

 

[Stella B.]

Good luck honey! I just looked at your avatar, and that says it all. I'm pretty sure you've already made up your mind about how you want to wear your hair. I'm thinking subconsciously you want a fresh start, and will be changing your hair to relaxed or texlaxed soon. Do what's comfortable for you. Which ever way allows for day to day management, and suits your lifestyle is the way to go.

 

[Janet']

Be happy! Whatever that means for you- natural or relaxed...At the end of the day, there are so many more important things in life- even though we can get bogged down in hair--If relaxed hair makes you happy- I'm all for it! Just post pics after the relaxer because you know...

 

[tocktick]

If you've felt you've done what you can do to overcome the issues you have with your hair in it's natural state, then do what you feel is best for you. There is no need to feel like a faliure - you simply tried something where there are no winners or losers and found it wasn't for you. Not everything is about reaching point B, it can simply be a learning experience.

If having relaxed hair reveals itself to also have problems or doesn't rectify the ones you had then you will know it quite soon. Sometimes it takes making decision you thought was right to make you realise it wasn't all along. My only suggestion to you is to think about whether you're fighting aspects of your natural hair that you really shouldn't be (e.g - your texture). With that said, you may find out that the grass really is greener for you and this decision could be one that you end up being quite happy with. HTH (even though you might have done it already! ).

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Be happy! Whatever that means for you- natural or relaxed...At the end of the day, there are so many more important things in life- even though we can get bogged down in hair--If relaxed hair makes you happy- I'm all for it! Just post pics after the relaxer because you know...

Just in case you didn't see this! Good luck.

 

[oooop2]

No need to stress over it. It's really "JUST" hair. I went from a SL perm to a scalp cut in 1 sitting b/c I was done w/straight hair. So if you relax and decide that it's not for you, then just pull out the clippers. It will grow back

 

[maysay]

Wow, I remember the last time you transitioned and then relaxed...I actually thought this was an old thread that was bumped up.

Anyway, I think you should relax. It sounds from the words you're using that you just don't want to have natural hair. So don't. Do whatever is going to work for you.

I do think you should cut all the relaxed ends off first (since you said you have so few) just to see what a full head of natural hair looks like on you. May as well, since you got this close. Then you'll know for sure whether you like it or not.

 

[nomoweavesfome]

ok - update guys: I FREAKIN DID IT! I'm back relaxed and frankly I FEEL RELIEVED. No regrets except I truly wished I never minichopped. But oh well back at square block one.
When I started I thought I would like throw up or something, but I found something interesting. I almost rinsed after like 5 minutes because I reached another crossroads like- I really liked what I was seeing! I totally thought of the texlax thing! I mean I lost some of the bulk, had hang and some curl! It was awesome!!!!!! Problem was I thought about it too long and by the time I decided to do it my right half was getting straight. So I lost my texlax opportunity. But that is a whole other option and a whole other thread! I'm sitting with neutralizer on - I'm not bone straight and some parts held on to some curl- I guess cause I smoothed and not combed. - but I am straight nonetheless. Like why I hardly had no curl natural?
I'll keep you guys posted and updated - and OF COURSE WITH PICTURES. lol

 

[Strangefruittree]

Do you... I want to see pics of when you relax it. It is just hair, kind of like nails and whatever else grows off of your body... Take care of your chemically treated hair. We live in far too modern times with access to fast good information for you to torture yourself doing what is "right". IF you regret relaxing, maybe the next attempt at being natural will mean more and you will do better then.,.. or maybe you needed to do the natural thing so that this time chemically treated your ish could be fiercer... Just be as pretty as you can be and send a picture, so that I can think about your greener grass when i am not feeling my seemingly wonderful coils ( me and my hair are having a battle right now, but it it bees like that some times)

 

[taz007]

Wow, that was fast. I am so glad that you are happy with your decision; that is what, ultimately, matters.

I cannot wait to see pics.

 

[Junebug D]

Welcome to the dark side! :angeldevi

J/K. I hope you are happy with your decision. I relaxed after several years natural and I have no regrets yet. It'll always grow back if you find yourself wanting to BC again.

 

[nomoweavesfome]

Welcome to the dark side! :angeldevi

J/K. I hope you are happy with your decision. I relaxed after several years natural and I have no regrets yet. It'll always grow back if you find yourself wanting to BC again.

I am truly satisfied. . I just feel weird with my hair short in relaxed state. It's neck length. I'll be posting pics. Sitting with conditioner in it now. I can use a professional cut tho.

 

[ryanshope]

Smh, I am SOOOO glad that I have "good" hair---hair that is healthy, moisturized and drama free as far as styling.

As I am reading your post, I can't help but feel bad for you---you sound like someone that is style challenged or something--I can honestly say even with my TWA I was always able to style my hair and if I didn't I could grab a wig or a cap. Now after a year, I look at my 4A/B hair and LOVE LOVE the way it feels, looks and behaves.


Make your decision based on your needs, not the rec's of others. At the end of the day it is your hair---and you shouldn't agonize over styling it--it is "just" hair right?


Good luck!!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Your hair won't see it's true curl pattern until after your BC. It looks so pretty in your avatar pic. If it is destroying you the time you spend on your hair, then do what makes you happy. We will support you here no matter what.

 

[nomoweavesfome]

Smh, I am SOOOO glad that I have "good" hair---hair that is healthy, moisturized and drama free as far as styling.

As I am reading your post, I can't help but feel bad for you---you sound like someone that is style challenged or something--I can honestly say even with my TWA I was always able to style my hair and if I didn't I could grab a wig or a cap. Now after a year, I look at my 4A/B hair and LOVE LOVE the way it feels, looks and behaves.


Make your decision based on your needs, not the rec's of others. At the end of the day it is your hair---and you shouldn't agonize over styling it--it is "just" hair right?


Good luck!!

yea - you should be glad. I wished I had it going on like you -otherwise this thread would not exist. I'm not style challenged, in fact the opposite. I used to be a licensed cosmetologist. I had all kinds of styles going on- but the time it took to do it and the maintenance for me was the devil. Maybe if I were a 4a/b I could have handled it better, but I'm not. I totally do not have hair like most of the naturals on this forum. - and yes - I grabbed the wig, the cap, the scarf- you name it. I lost the battle but I'm ok. It really is just hair.

 

[changingSeasons]

Congrats on your decision, if you do keep it relaxed then im sure it will be beautiful and If you decide you want to go natural, you can always BC or transition again, lol you wouldnt be the first or the last. A 1 year transition is not easy, so you know you can do it.

Your hair looked healthy and pretty while Natural, and I am sure it will look that way Relaxed as well.

Remember that the Beauty of LHCF is that we know we can grow GORGEUS hair natural and relaxed. Do what makes YOU happy.

 

[nomoweavesfome]

** k - guys another update:
I have "some pics" will post more later as I progress through completing my look.

these are prior too and after relaxing:

 

[Solitude]

A year is a loooong time. If you got that far on your transition, then obviously you really do want to be natural. Give it some time, try protective styling for a while.

 

[nomoweavesfome]

here's after:

more soon to come! I'm under the dryer.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!! i know youll be happy. you know how to take care of relaxed hair now that you have been here. i just texlaxed myself, and i never had a relaxer in my hair before, but what gave me the confidence to do it was the knowledge that i learned. so im doing better with my relaxed hair then i did my natural hair!!!!!

 

[I Am So Blessed]

I also think you should have started another thread to show off your knew hair, becuase you are nolonger trying to make a decision!

 

[Tif392002]

im glad u made the decision, u did what u felt was for you. good.. but i do think u had sum pretty natural hair,,, my cuzn she has been natural 5 yrs, she have some 4zzzzzzzz hair, no curls, or coils, thats about mbl stretched, beautiful. i loves it, u should give being natural another shot later.

 

[Chevelure618]

I don't know if you did it yet, but I say JUST TEXLAX! Honey it's truly the best of both worlds.

 

[nomoweavesfome]

I don't know if you did it yet, but I say JUST TEXLAX! Honey it's truly the best of both worlds.

I know!!! I did do it tho. If you read a lil earlier while I was doing it I contemplated it- the texlax. I sure did like what I was seeing!!!! But I thought tooo long. So I'm straight relaxed.