AGE difference?

[LBoogie]

In the last two years I was involved with two older guys. The first guy I met shortly before my 24th birthday and he was 37 going on 38. I started dating the second guy around my 25th birthday and he will be 45 in February. From these two guys I have learned that I do prefer older men HOWEVER age doesn't mean as much as people make it out to mean.

When dating older guys, I think it's more important to consider things like maturity level, relationship status (is he divorced, never married, etc.), children (how many does he have, by how many different women, will he want more in the future, is there drama with the child(ren's) mother(s)?), his health. Those are the things that REALLY matter because the older the guy is, the more likely he is to come with some baggage. For me as a woman who is baggage free (no kids, no ex-hubby) and has her ish together (IMO, lol...own place, just bought a new car, good job, good credit) it is important to consider how much baggage I'm willing to take on. You have to be willing to accept ALL OF THAT BAGGAGE when you get into a relationship with an older man. And saying your cap is 5-10-15-20 years older really doesn't get to the root of the issues that might cause you problems with an older man.

True, true, TRUE. BUT, not always. I lucked up...DH is divorced , BUT, doesn't talk to the ex-wife, has no idea where she is, has been divorced for 7 years, has NO children and is in better shape than me. We both came into the relationship "baggage free."

 

[Much2much41]

5-7 years is ideal. I'll go up to 10 years older if he is just too good to pass up.

 

[Cincysweetie]

I think you should ask yourself why would a man 15 to 20 years older than you want to date you? It's a question that I would ask myself if that ever came up; I feel that when someone that old wants to date me then what's his problem of him finding someone closer to his age. It could be because he feels he can manipulate someone younger and get away with more, than someone who's on his level when it comes to age? I sometimes feel that older men want extremely younger women to validate for something in their lives. But that's juts me.

I completely respect your opinion; however, I personally don't have to question why any man would want to date me...I know why (see my previous post). I'm a good catch, a man in his 30s can see that just as well as a man in his 20s. So IMO, it is most definitely not that simple. If it was you could apply that same line of thought across the board with other relationship stereotypes. Is it true that some older men are controlling? Sure is. But it's also true that some younger men are controlling and manipulative. You have to look at the individuals in the relationship and the dynamics of that particular relationship.

True, true, TRUE. BUT, not always. I lucked up...DH is divorced , BUT, doesn't talk to the ex-wife, has no idea where she is, has been divorced for 7 years, has NO children and is in better shape than me. We both came into the relationship "baggage free."

I think you misunderstood the point I was trying to make. I was not saying that ALL older men have those types of baggage, just that those are things that might be more important to consider than the age gap. I think people should consider the life gap...What has he experienced that I haven't? How might those experiences effect our relationship? Where is he in life and where am I? What does he want out of life now and what do I want? That's not just with older guys, that's with guys in general. EVERYONE has baggage. I just don't agree with putting an across the board age limit on dating because there are more important factors to consider than the year someone was born. But to each her own.

 

[msdeevee]

If you're over 40 and the man is 16 years older. I don't see the problem.

A person can get ill and die at any age regardless of how well they take care of themselves.

An acquaintance of ours just died from a massive heart attack at 41 and he was not obese or any of the other factors.

Unfortunately at you age range (mine too) it is not that easy to meet eligible, available men so I would not cut down my dating pool for superficial reasons. NOt saying that you are, sorry I couldn't read the whole thread.

 

[MCMLXXII]

I dunno...I wouldn't date a man 16 years older than me because I would be concerned about the sex or the lack thereof. I'm willing to go 5 years in either direction.

 

[Tylers-mom]

Well I met my husband when I was 19 and he was 31...huge difference! I know....but hey we've been married for 6 years, together for 12 years and have a 5 year old son. We have a pretty solid relationship. We respect each other's age difference and it works for us!

 

[DayStar]

hello!!!

I wouldn't date a man more than 10 years older than me. Howerver, there is no age limit for extremely rich men.

 

[DayStar]

15 years MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[val1212]

My ex boyfriend is 44 and his new love is 18 I think that is just sick sick sick!

 

[missjones]

My limit is 5 years old than me and nobody younger.

 

[DayStar]

THATS GROSS

My ex boyfriend is 44 and his new love is 18 I think that is just sick sick sick!

 

[PittGirl06]

I am generally not attracted to people my own age......I like them at least ten years older but if I had to put a limit on it, probably 20 years older would do it.