AGE difference?

BrooklynSouth

BrooklynSouth

New Member
What is your age limit between you and someone you'd date? A man wants to go on a date..this man is very nice, kind, intelligent and has a lot of the same interests I have but he is 16 years older than me...I am feeling a bit silly having to ask the forum for advice about this but here I am anyway.
 
To me it depends. If you are 20 and he is 36 I think that may be too old. If you are 30 and he is 46 it may be okay. Is there anything other than age holding you back? Is he cute, nice, employed (lol)?
 
hopeful said:
To me it depends. If you are 20 and he is 36 I think that may be too old. If you are 30 and he is 46 it may be okay. Is there anything other than age holding you back? Is he cute, nice, employed (lol)?
Click to expand...

Hopeful, he is semi-retired, now sells high end realty, retired from an administrative position. Looks are OK, very nice person, adult successful children, divorced. Afraid I may like him a lot eventually then lose him to age or a heart attack!
 
I personally wouldn't date anyone 10-12 years older than me. . definetely not now b/c I'm 22 but when I'm in my thirties that will hold true.

For me its not just about age and intrests its about health and quality of life. If I was in my thirties and I was going to date a guy in his 50's he would have to have his shish together but more specifically be in good physical condition watching his diet working out etc. But even then I would think about what happens if I'm 34/35 and I have a child by someone whosmaybe 49/50 is my child going to get to know their parent in their adult life let alone their adolescense.

It just sucks that men take forever to mature. .:ohwell:
 
How old are you OP? My limit is 35 which is 13 years older than me. I'd go as far as 15 for the right man. It really just depends on where both of you are maturity wise and the chemistry. My current SO is 10 years older than me.
 
glamazon386 said:
How old are you OP? My limit is 35 which is 13 years older than me. I'd go as far as 15 for the right man. It really just depends on where both of you are maturity wise and the chemistry. My current SO is 10 years older than me.
Click to expand...

Glam, I'm one of those 'never tellers' but I'm older than 40; that's why I felt a bit odd even asking the question..like shouldn't I know the answer to such a thing by now:wallbash:?
 
BrooklynSouth said:
Glam, I'm one of those 'never tellers' but I'm older than 40; that's why I felt a bit odd even asking the question..like shouldn't I know the answer to such a thing by now:wallbash:?
Click to expand...

I don't think it matters then. :lol: After mid thirties or so I would think that it doesn't matter anymore.
 
I'm in my 20's and I finally had to make 60 the limit after an experience. If it was about seriousness, I wouldn't want anyone over 40 for marrying. But since I'm not trying to get married, oh well...
 
Filmatic said:
I'm in my 20's and I finally had to make 60 the limit after an experience. If it was about seriousness, I wouldn't want anyone over 40 for marrying. But since I'm not trying to get married, oh well...
Click to expand...

60!!!! :eek:

I hope he was a zillionaire!!!
 
Hmmmm
I once dated a man 14-16 years older...when I was younger..in my 30's
he did not look it,btw..

BUT
he was at the time... he was the music director for a soap opera
had won Emmys...owned a fab loft in Chelea
money was never an issue
and was he HOT!...drop dead gorgeous.....long hair in ringlets
super-tall ...welldressed fashionably
alas...all too male... as in horn/hound dog

and deeply mired
in a highly media-publicized custody battle with a well known TV/Broadaway
actress....both threw tantrums...
had over the top midnight-histrionics on the phone
overnighted threatening letters from lawyers
..yes..all...while I was there
during my erratic tenure as his relationship

(Kayte shuddders at the memory)
 
Last edited:
BrooklynSouth said:
Hopeful, he is semi-retired, now sells high end realty, retired from an administrative position. Looks are OK, very nice person, adult successful children, divorced. Afraid I may like him a lot eventually then lose him to age or a heart attack!
Click to expand...

BrooklynSouth said:
Glam, I'm one of those 'never tellers' but I'm older than 40; that's why I felt a bit odd even asking the question..like shouldn't I know the answer to such a thing by now:wallbash:?
Click to expand...

Okay here is my take. Are the pickings' slim? Are men your age hollerin' at you all of the time? I ask because I am over 40 and married but the men who break their necks looking at me are in their 50's. Once they get near 60 it makes me nauseus(sp?), seriously it grosses me out, I am like you could be my dad, :barf:. Men my age do look at me, but the older men kinda leer, look at me like they want to sop me up with a biscuit:lachen:, I guess it's a compliment:look:. Okay I'm getting off topic, if I had a lot of appropriate options in my age bracket I would not even consider someone that age (16 years my senior). If I didn't have lots of options and his age did not gross me out or make me feel uncomfortable, I would most definitely go for it. Just go slowly and take it one day at a time. The two of you might have a lot of fun:).

ETA: I also wanted to add that I think women really can open up their options if they are a little more flexible on the age thing. I think most women want someone about their age but if you open it up to say 5 years younger and up to 10 years older that can really open up your options--I would rather compromise on age than on his looks, financial status, morals, family background, etc.
 
Last edited:
sky_blu said:
These answers are funny. :lachen: You all seriously make exceptions for people in high tax brackets?
Click to expand...

Well in my case, he was attractive and fit too! And not old enough to be my dad, unless he had me at 18.

But if he looked like Donald Trump, prolly not.
 
As long as you're both legal, doesn't matter. Life is too short to be worrying about an age difference. Happiness matters more
 
In the last two years I was involved with two older guys. The first guy I met shortly before my 24th birthday and he was 37 going on 38. I started dating the second guy around my 25th birthday and he will be 45 in February. From these two guys I have learned that I do prefer older men HOWEVER age doesn't mean as much as people make it out to mean.

When dating older guys, I think it's more important to consider things like maturity level, relationship status (is he divorced, never married, etc.), children (how many does he have, by how many different women, will he want more in the future, is there drama with the child(ren's) mother(s)?), his health. Those are the things that REALLY matter because the older the guy is, the more likely he is to come with some baggage. For me as a woman who is baggage free (no kids, no ex-hubby) and has her ish together (IMO, lol...own place, just bought a new car, good job, good credit) it is important to consider how much baggage I'm willing to take on. You have to be willing to accept ALL OF THAT BAGGAGE when you get into a relationship with an older man. And saying your cap is 5-10-15-20 years older really doesn't get to the root of the issues that might cause you problems with an older man.
 
glamazon386 said:
How old are you OP? My limit is 35 which is 13 years older than me. I'd go as far as 15 for the right man. It really just depends on where both of you are maturity wise and the chemistry. My current SO is 10 years older than me.
Click to expand...
I agree with this. I'm the same age as you glamazon, and also seeing a man that is 10 years older. Honestly though, before this guy a man this much older was not my preference. When I met him I thought he was 25, and was beyond shocked when he told me his real age. That's why it took him a year to get a date.

He pleasantly surprised me, when I finally gave him a chance though. So OP, give it a try, it really just depends on the individuals and how you two click.
 
Cincysweetie said:
In the last two years I was involved with two older guys. The first guy I met shortly before my 24th birthday and he was 37 going on 38. I started dating the second guy around my 25th birthday and he will be 45 in February. From these two guys I have learned that I do prefer older men HOWEVER age doesn't mean as much as people make it out to mean.

When dating older guys, I think it's more important to consider things like maturity level, relationship status (is he divorced, never married, etc.), children (how many does he have, by how many different women, will he want more in the future, is there drama with the child(ren's) mother(s)?), his health. Those are the things that REALLY matter because the older the guy is, the more likely he is to come with some baggage. For me as a woman who is baggage free (no kids, no ex-hubby) and has her ish together (IMO, lol...own place, just bought a new car, good job, good credit) it is important to consider how much baggage I'm willing to take on. You have to be willing to accept ALL OF THAT BAGGAGE when you get into a relationship with an older man. And saying your cap is 5-10-15-20 years older really doesn't get to the root of the issues that might cause you problems with an older man.
Click to expand...


ITA with the bolded. But for me it doesn't matter what age group you fall in, there are certain things that will render a man undesirable to me. I don't accept most of the baggage that is in your post and I'm not willing to. There are unique differences with every age group which is why compatibility is important :yep:
 
I prefer someone about 4 years older than me but no more than 12. But that could change. I'm almost 24.
 
When I was 25 I dated a guy that was 42.... I wasn't ready. He was a grown man and had grown man physical and emotional needs and I was used to dealing with young 'uns who did stupid things. He'd been married, divorced, and was looking for something much more serious than I could give him then.

Now that I'm almost 38, I would only limit myself to someone who is 10 years older than me max. I was married for 9 years, but don't have any children. I'm an only child and if I get with a man too much older he'd probably have grown or near grown children and I couldn't deal with that. I could deal with young kids but not adults. That's just me.

But I also know that I can't go too young. I don't think that I could date someone younger than about 33 or 34, just because now I'm REAL GROWN and have certain aspirations and I don't have time to "mother" or "school" anyone that's not a baby!

So, a sistas dating pool is pretty shallow.
 
BrooklynSouth said:
What is your age limit between you and someone you'd date? A man wants to go on a date..this man is very nice, kind, intelligent and has a lot of the same interests I have but he is 16 years older than me...I am feeling a bit silly having to ask the forum for advice about this but here I am anyway.
Click to expand...

This is interesting. Im talking to a guy 18 years older than me. He has no children, never been married, good job, responsible, and so far seems like a decent guy.
ETA-I think it also helps that he doesnt look that much older than me.
 
Last edited:
DH is 15 years older than me, my last ex was 11 years older....I have a thing for older men. It makes life easy knowing you only have to deal with them until you put them in a home/assisted/ senior living facility. LOL
 
I think you should ask yourself why would a man 15 to 20 years older than you want to date you? It's a question that I would ask myself if that ever came up; I feel that when someone that old wants to date me then what's his problem of him finding someone closer to his age. It could be because he feels he can manipulate someone younger and get away with more, than someone who's on his level when it comes to age? I sometimes feel that older men want extremely younger women to validate for something in their lives. But that's juts me.
 
Sassyb4Classy said:
I think you should ask yourself why would a man 15 to 20 years older than you want to date you? It's a question that I would ask myself if that ever came up; I feel that when someone that old wants to date me then what's his problem of him finding someone closer to his age. It could be because he feels he can manipulate someone younger and get away with more, than someone who's on his level when it comes to age? I sometimes feel that older men want extremely younger women to validate for something in their lives. But that's juts me.
Click to expand...

It really depends on the person, for me...DH wanted me because I can manipulate him, :lachen: I am the Alpha of our relationship, yet we are equals. I'm the "intelligent" one, while he's the "smart" one. LOL. He's never dated anyone more than 3 years younger than him. Regardless of age, I am on and at times beyond "his level."

I didn't tell him how old I was (27) when we met, and I thought he was no more than 32 (he looks damned good. LOL) when he did ask how old I was, this look of "what? hell naw" came over his face (he assumed I was in my 30's and just looked damn good for my age----as HE does), when he told me how old he was, I had the same look. He actually told me we could just be friends as his "cut-off" was 32 :lachen:. I told him, that was fine since my cut off was without one foot on a banana peel and I offered to hook him up with my mother since theyre two years apart (she had me very young). :lachen:

Our age difference was a BIG issue to him initially, but he got over it, and so we're living happily (ever after remains to be seen. LOL).
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

DivineNapps1728
  • Poll Poll
Get On My LEVEL...Or Not
Replies
19
Views
523
yeahisaidit
yeahisaidit
TinyBlu
How Young is Too Young?
Replies
5
Views
131
Filmatic
F
neena
Age Difference
Replies
13
Views
275
MzShay
M
atlien
What age is to old for you?
Replies
18
Views
346
Charlie555
Charlie555
Bunnyhaslonghair
I’m Offended But Am I Also Being Naive?
Replies
26
Views
724
007PMP
007PMP
Back
Top