Age, childbirth and ignorant remarks

[MizzBrown]

The comments are insensitive, but there's some truth to them. Fertility begins to decline at 28 or so and several of my friends who waited until they were older to have children are having difficulty conceiving.

What she said!......I'm 27, single and not sure if i want a child or not if/when I get married but i do realize my clock is ticking. So now i am not on this big bandwagon of women having babies at 35 and up.

Bodies were not designed to give birth like that so far up in age. Scientifically proven and ask your doctor for the facts. It's reality.

No one should say HURRY UP but i do realize that if/when i get married...I can't be sittin around saying let's wait a while or do this and that first...Aint got time for all that. Clock is ticking and I want a healthy baby.

I'm against all this waiting til you damn near 45 to have kids and then wondering why you having trouble and why the baby comes out weighing 2 lbs. Yes, have fun and enjoy being young and childless but don't complain when the jig is up and you having issues carrying.

 

[asummertyme]

What she said!......I'm 27, single and not sure if i want a child or not if/when I get married but i do realize my clock is ticking. So now i am not on this big bandwagon of women having babies at 35 and up.

Bodies were not designed to give birth like that so far up in age. Scientifically proven and ask your doctor for the facts. It's reality.

No one should say HURRY UP but i do realize that if/when i get married...I can't be sittin around saying let's wait a while or do this and that first...Aint got time for all that. Clock is ticking and I want a healthy baby.

I'm against all this waiting til you damn near 45 to have kids and then wondering why you having trouble and why the baby comes out weighing 2 lbs. Yes, have fun and enjoy being young and childless but don't complain when the jig is up and you having issues carrying.

well u gotta do whats best for u!! thats how i felt, and altho i waited until 32, i had that always in the back of my head too..so feel u on that girl..

 

[Overjoyed]

What she said!......I'm 27, single and not sure if i want a child or not if/when I get married but i do realize my clock is ticking. So now i am not on this big bandwagon of women having babies at 35 and up.

Bodies were not designed to give birth like that so far up in age. Scientifically proven and ask your doctor for the facts. It's reality.

No one should say HURRY UP but i do realize that if/when i get married...I can't be sittin around saying let's wait a while or do this and that first...Aint got time for all that. Clock is ticking and I want a healthy baby.

I'm against all this waiting til you damn near 45 to have kids and then wondering why you having trouble and why the baby comes out weighing 2 lbs. Yes, have fun and enjoy being young and childless but don't complain when the jig is up and you having issues carrying.

I did speak with my doctor and he told me try to have a baby by 40. And as far as the comment about "bodies not being designed to give birth so far up in age" I think is reserved for someone in their 50's trying to give birth. If that is the case then I can say bodies were not designed to give birth under the age 16....better yet, 19. Also a person having a premature baby can happen at ANY age. My feeling is if you can still conceive a child at any age then that is all that matters.

 

[Overjoyed]

What she said!......I'm 27, single and not sure if i want a child or not if/when I get married but i do realize my clock is ticking. So now i am not on this big bandwagon of women having babies at 35 and up.

Bodies were not designed to give birth like that so far up in age. Scientifically proven and ask your doctor for the facts. It's reality.

No one should say HURRY UP but i do realize that if/when i get married...I can't be sittin around saying let's wait a while or do this and that first...Aint got time for all that. Clock is ticking and I want a healthy baby.

I'm against all this waiting til you damn near 45 to have kids and then wondering why you having trouble and why the baby comes out weighing 2 lbs. Yes, have fun and enjoy being young and childless but don't complain when the jig is up and you having issues carrying.

FYI- At any age carrying a baby is a strain on a woman's body.

 

[MizzBrown]

I did speak with my doctor and he told me try to have a baby by 40. And as far as the comment about "bodies not being designed to give birth so far up in age" I think is reserved for someone in their 50's trying to give birth. If that is the case then I can say bodies were not designed to give birth under the age 16....better yet, 19. Also a person having a premature baby can happen at ANY age. My feeling is if you can still conceive a child at any age then that is all that matters.

AT 40!!! You have GOT to be kidding me! Good luck!

 

[Overjoyed]

AT 40!!! You have GOT to be kidding me! Good luck!

I don't need luck because I have Jesus!

Also, to each is own. What may work for me may not necessarily work for you- that's a no-brainer

Age 23 or 43 you can go to the doctor for yearly physicals, get annual pap smears, eat healthy and exercise, but you NEVER know what is going on inside of your body.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

THANK YOU! People are so stupid and rude with that mess. I just want to scream, "Not everyone wanted to have a baby when they were 12 like YOU did!"erplexed

Hilarious!!!!!

 

[asummertyme]

Madison is such a cutie pie. I wouldn't have to worry about these type of remarks if you just give your pretty lil baby to me.

, dont worry about those remarks...people are just ignorant at times and insensitive too..

 

[asummertyme]

THANK YOU! People are so stupid and rude with that mess. I just want to scream, "Not everyone wanted to have a baby when they were 12 like YOU did!"erplexed

o snizzap!!...

 

[runwaydream]

AT 40!!! You have GOT to be kidding me! Good luck!

my sentiments exactly.. but i guess the OP knows what she's doing. she probably has a back up plan anyway. btw OP my A&P teacher told us once that if you're starting to get older and think that it'll be a long time until you want to have kids you should freeze your eggs and use them later when you're older. maybe you've already heard of this?

 

[Overjoyed]

my sentiments exactly.. but i guess the OP knows what she's doing. she probably has a back up plan anyway. btw OP my A&P teacher told us once that if you're starting to get older and think that it'll be a long time until you want to have kids you should freeze your eggs and use them later when you're older. maybe you've already heard of this?

If all else fails I have problem adopting.

 

[SUPER SWEET]

Im a new mom at the whopping age of 36 My son is healthy and happy. You cant choose when you have a baby, it just happens. Cause if it were up to me I would have been a mom in 2009 instead of 2008 . Just continue to do you and not worry about what people want for you!

FYI - the genetic counselor said that ANY age genetic defects can happen! So people who talk about 36,37.38,39 cant have healthy children dont know your case.

 

[Overjoyed]

Im a new mom at the whopping age of 36 My son is healthy and happy. You cant choose when you have a baby, it just happens. Cause if it were up to me I would have been a mom in 2009 instead of 2008 . Just continue to do you and not worry about what people want for you!

FYI - the genetic counselor said that ANY age genetic defects can happen! So people who talk about 36,37.38,39 cant have healthy children dont know your case.

Congrats on your bundle of joy. I love hearing stories like this

 

[Farida]

Im a new mom at the whopping age of 36 My son is healthy and happy. You cant choose when you have a baby, it just happens. Cause if it were up to me I would have been a mom in 2009 instead of 2008 . Just continue to do you and not worry about what people want for you!

FYI - the genetic counselor said that ANY age genetic defects can happen! So people who talk about 36,37.38,39 cant have healthy children dont know your case.

That is true, but the risk increases significantly with age. Anyway, OP just brush it off. It is annoying! People never know when to stop.

I guess wherever we are in life people will be hounding us about one thing or the other.

Like now everyone is hounding me saying my marriage won't last because I'm young and young marriages don't last blah blah.

Then it will be "kids?" blah blah

then how I raise my kids blah blah

It never ends!

 

[Valerie]

I am 36 years old, childfree, dating a wonderful man, but I do desire to get married and have children. It seems lately people are always asking me if I want to have children and when I say yes, the comment is, "well you'd better hurry up and do something". Yes, I would have loved to have had children in my early 30's, but I wanted to be married AND able to afford to take care of my kids without struggling. And to be truthful before the age of 35 I was not ready to have children and struggled with trying to find out who I was and what I wanted.

Many women these days are having kids well after the age of 40 to the point where I believe the advanced child bearing age of 35 will be something of the past. I just wish people would be less discouraging and if they have nothing positive or encouraging to say to just "zip it up". I know I shouldn't care what people say or think, but it seems almost on a daily basis I am getting asked this question. I am curious to hear some of your thoughts and opinions on this as well as comebacks to shut these people up.

Girl, you can have children, as long as you are healthy, don't worry with people. They are just fools.

 

[TLC1020]

I'll be 33 this year, I'm dating someone but I get that all the time from some family members and a few girlfriends. I take it with a grain of salt, if its meant to happen it will happen. Me and my guy are working on making our relationship better. God know when its time..

 

[lana]

Hmm, maybe someone already said this to you, but I would reply, "I'm not sure how that concerns you." to the people that aren't related and don't care about you and are just trying to be nosy or rude.

To family and friends I would say, "Why? Are YOU thinking about having a child or more children?" Answer their question with a question. Because sometimes friends and family say STUPID things just because they don't know what else to say.

To the nail lady at the salon I would say: "You ask me that every time I come in here, girl have YOU found a man yet and are YOU wanting kids?"

Replying this way may seem rude to some, but for me, it really would help if I felt verbally attacked by random people on a regular basis. I hate that feeling of wishing you had said something but not know WHAT to say. You just have to pick and choose your battles, ask yourself, can I let that pass? If so, just smile and keep it moving.

Oh and my last little response is "Why do you ask?" that usually shuts people up real good. But like several ladies said, "people will always have something to say" doesn't matter where you're at in your life.

 

[FlowerHair]

People have something to say when you have your kids young, when you have them old, close together or far apart. People always got something to say. Just ignore it and do what makes you happy. You can't turn back time so you have your children when you are ready and enjoy it. My mom had my sister when she was 41 (me at 26) and boy did she get some looks and comments about birth defects and other such things. I will admit that my moms age (she's 50 now) does bother my little sister (8yo)at times b/c the many of the kids have moms that are in their mid 30's.

I have no ideas for good comebacks but to all the rude people that put me down for having a kid young..my success at motherhood and in life is enough comeback. Having kids at any age is high risk IMO so...good luck!

I agree, people will always have something to say

I wish I had met a good man earlier than I did, but life doesn't always turn out the way we plan it.

I want a strong solid relationship before I start trying for a child, I want both of us to be ready. That hasn't really happened until now.

I think other people are more stressed than I am. If having a child at any cost had been that important to me, I would surely have one now. I would probably be a single mother too, which isn't my goal. That might happen anyway one day for one reason or another, but hopefully it won't!

With all that being said, biology speaks a clear language and if you (a general you, not directed to OP) have found your Mr Right, don't put off childbirth too long...

 

[FlowerHair]

I just respond with "I'll have kids whenever G*d says it's my time." That usually shuts people up. I've only had two people come back and say, "Well, you must not be doing something right."

Gosh some people are so ignorant
So rude...

 

[FlowerHair]

AT 40!!! You have GOT to be kidding me! Good luck!

I have several friends who concieved and gave birth with ease over 40

One of my good friends is 42 and expecting her second child. She had her first child at 39 She even paced 3 years in between

Another friend got married at 38 and had her babies at 39 and 41.

 

[Connie]

What she said!......I'm 27, single and not sure if i want a child or not if/when I get married but i do realize my clock is ticking. So now i am not on this big bandwagon of women having babies at 35 and up.

Bodies were not designed to give birth like that so far up in age. Scientifically proven and ask your doctor for the facts. It's reality.

No one should say HURRY UP but i do realize that if/when i get married...I can't be sittin around saying let's wait a while or do this and that first...Aint got time for all that. Clock is ticking and I want a healthy baby.

I'm against all this waiting til you damn near 45 to have kids and then wondering why you having trouble and why the baby comes out weighing 2 lbs. Yes, have fun and enjoy being young and childless but don't complain when the jig is up and you having issues carrying.

Tell that to Christine Brinkley (had her last one at 46), Geena Davis (I think she's got three--had the 1st at 44 and twins at 46..correct me if I'm wrong) and Madonna, who had her 2nd one in her mid 40s.

That said, either one of those ladies can have my babies too, because at 43 and childless, I have absolutely no intention whatsoever of being in a delivery room at 45+ unless the BC didn't work, slipped up, shifted to the left, the condom broke, etc. Then I'll have to resist the urge to kill the daddy.

I remember GYN appointments where the nurse would ask me "what I was waiting on" after hearing I had no pregnancies and no kids. When I was 39, one doctor told me that if there was a chance I wanted kids I'd better do it "soon" and don't wait too long like she did and not be able to have any kids. And should you still be childless when you reach your 40s, I swear you get pity looks from people when they find out you hadn't at least popped out one baby in all those years. Or you have to field questions like, "You don't like kids?" "Is there a reason you don't have kids?" (Implying there's some medical reason.)

I wanted my children to have two active parents in their life and not just one like I did. I wanted to be able to provide a more solid and better financial situation for my children than what I had. And I wanted to be emotionally ready to be a parent. I made many bad decisions that cost me my children, but I can live and sleep at night knowing that no child of mine will have to suffer for my mistakes. There are many things I could live with doing half-azzed. Parenting isn't one of them. Children are way too precious and fragile.

But most folks don't care about that. Having a baby is what you're 'supposed' to want to do no matter what and when they see a woman who is actually content with not having any they don't know how to act.

 

[chichibean]

It doesn't really help to mention the biological clock thing and it being harder to conceive after 30 to someone who is already 36. Or in my case 32. I think that if any of us could have found the man of our dreams, married and had children earlier, we would have. At this point how is it going to serve me or a baby any better to run out now and have a child with some random man??? OP, just do you. I have MANY friends in their 30's and 40's who are conceiving and having healthy children. And even if you have to adopt some day, you'll do so knowing that you are financially and emotionally prepared for children (and hopefully in a secure and loving relationship). People say things assuming that you think just the way that they do... you need to do what will make you happy!

 

[Overjoyed]

It doesn't really help to mention the biological clock thing and it being harder to conceive after 30 to someone who is already 36. Or in my case 32. I think that if any of us could have found the man of our dreams, married and had children earlier, we would have. At this point how is it going to serve me or a baby any better to run out now and have a child with some random man??? OP, just do you. I have MANY friends in their 30's and 40's who are conceiving and having healthy children. And even if you have to adopt some day, you'll do so knowing that you are financially and emotionally prepared for children (and hopefully in a secure and loving relationship). People say things assuming that you think just the way that they do... you need to do what will make you happy!

 

[Spongie Bloom]

well them saying it over and over doesnt change the sequence of your life... girl you have a lot fo things going for yourself where is it written that you have to have popped out babies at a certain age live by your own rules and dont think about what others have to say..everyone always has to have an opinion

 

[Overjoyed]

well them saying it over and over doesnt change the sequence of your life... girl you have a lot fo things going for yourself where is it written that you have to have popped out babies at a certain age live by your own rules and dont think about what others have to say..everyone always has to have an opinion

You are so right about that....like the saying goes, "Opinions are like a**holes, everybody has one!

 

[Tallone]

Someone should have told Halle Berry that at 42!

And should you still be childless when you reach your 40s, I swear you get pity looks from people when they find out you hadn't at least popped out one baby in all those years.

LOL I was just telling my husband that when people of ANY age tell me they are pregnant I pity and feel sorry for them.

 

[Nola Darling]

well.. im sure they're saying this out of concern. they probably don't realize that you've heard it plenty of times before and are sick of hearing it.

I agree But don't take it to heart. 30 is kinda getting up there but I have seen women have healthy children at 40. They were high risk, but they did it.

 

[imstush]

You do not look like you are 36! WOw I kept thinking you were in your 20's.

I already have a son, but I get a lot of when are you giving him a sister or brother. And now that I do want to get married, mostly the men (including my dad) keep telling me I am past my primeerplexed I will be 30 in a couple of weeks.

 

[Overjoyed]

You do not look like you are 36! WOw I kept thinking you were in your 20's.

I already have a son, but I get a lot of when are you giving him a sister or brother. And now that I do want to get married, mostly the men (including my dad) keep telling me I am past my primeerplexed I will be 30 in a couple of weeks.

Thanks! I don't feel 36 and for the most part no one believes I am 36. I just hope my reproductive system is as young as I look