I LOVE this thread! 5 stars! *****
2009 has been the most trying year of my life. In addition to an acrimonious divorce, a tree fell on our house during a rainstorm, damaging the roof and allowing mold to spread wildly right before we put it on the market. I had to move around a few times while the house was repaired. In addition, I was in graduate school while working full time. The stress was unreal
erplexed, but we got the house repaired, SOLD IT
, and that first semester (Spring) I STILL got all A's in school, despite the stress.
In addition to being a mommy, working and school, I had to do most of the daily upkeep while the house was on the market (which was very time-consuming) until it sold near the end of November, but again God blessed me with one A and one B for both the summer and fall semesters.
I am still being challenged in the settlement terms, and there are a lot of unanswered questions in my mind about my future.
But through it all, I believe God broke down my life to dust
so that he could rebuild it exactly the way He wants it.
He removed people from my life (that hurt terribly) but He also bonded me closer to my daughter, mom and twin than I have ever been before.
And He brought me to that Jacob point where I said "I won't let You go until You bless me." And to that Job point where I told Him "though You slay me, yet will I trust You." I have committed to trusting God even through some very bitter disappointments. He didn't answer all my prayers, or at least He hasn't on MY time table. But I am finally at that place where I will say "I'll trust You anyway."
I will trust that HIS plan for my life is perfect, no matter how long it takes Him to unfold and execute it. Over this break He has been telling me simply to BELIEVE.
Praying for my enemies is still a challenge, because I have been hurt this year more than I ever have. Trust me some days I want to...
....But God is working on my heart in this area. For now, I simply confess every day that I forgive my enemies. Slowly, I pray more and more for true repentance, redemption, and deliverance. That's about all I can manage for now.
So my storm is FAR from over, but God has kept me and truly CARRIED me for much of this year. I think about that famous footsteps poem because I have finally lived it. I look back and know that the only way I made it through is because God carried me. Emotionally, I have gone from the top of the mountain to the very bottom of the valley, and the ride has made me dizzy
, but God has been my anchor through it all.
I had nothing else to grip onto other than Him (all other things were sinking sand) - and my prayer life and relationship with Him has soared to the highest and most consistent level that it has ever been.
God is good.
All the time!