After how many dates.....

[MissMariee]

Do you expect an official relationship? We're talking "boyfriend/girlfriend" titles

Just a general question.

 

[Fine 4s]

My mom used to say a year but after 6 months he should know. The timeframe also depends on the age group of the people involved IMO.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

My mom used to say a year but after 6 months he should know. The timeframe also depends on the age group of the people involved IMO.

Damn, a year? By then he should know if I'm his future wife not future girlfriend lol.

 

[Fine 4s]

I don't know, in my 20s that might have been the right approach but I sure as heck wasn't going to wait to find out! Lol
My mom believed in dating multiple people before settling with one person. I did it differently.
I wonder what my dating life would look like if she was alive all through my 20s on...hmmmmm.....

 

[MsDee14]

I think it all depends on the chemistry. Naturally when I'm dating, I'll like one guy more than the others. If that one guy doesn't take the intiative by around month 3..I usually lose interest and it's on to the next.

 

[kismettt]

do i want to be in a relationship with him is the most important part of this question. how seriously am i taking him?

with guys i've had a real connection/interest with (and i knew we were on the same page), it happened pretty quickly. idk if there's ever been a point where i've been like "why aren't we official yet???" except for college and that was my own foolishness (oh, i don't want to commit. 2 seconds later, actually i do. girllll).

 

[Petal26]

I know this sounds old school, but if (when I was single) a man wanted to be my boyfriend/exclusive with me he had to ask. If he didn't ask then I'd just go on dating other people.

I didn't do the 'I don't know where we stand' thing.

 

[ladysaraii]

I know this sounds old school, but if (when I was single) a man wanted to be my boyfriend/exclusive with me he had to ask. If he didn't ask then I'd just go on dating other people.

I didn't do the 'I don't know where we stand' thing.

I agree with this. But did you have an amount of time where if he didn't ask by then you wrote him offs just not that interested?

 

[LovelyRo]

I honestly don't think it takes that long to decide whether or not to be in a committed relationship. Every situation is different but, if things are going well and feelings are growing stronger, the next step should be a relationship. Honestly, I feel like if a man takes longer than 3 months to commit, he's not interested in taking it to the next level.

 

[Jasmataz]

Assuming that two people have had consistent and quality dates with each other (and assuming these two people are dating for marriage), I think the man should be asking for things to become exclusive by the 3 month mark.

 

[Southernbella.]

Imo, after he makes his intentions known. If he is marriage minded and wants to court in preparation for engagement, exclusivity is fine. If he just wants to pass the time, or doesn't know where it's going, then there's no point in being exclusive.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF

 

[Petal26]

I agree with this. But did you have an amount of time where if he didn't ask by then you wrote him offs just not that interested?

Honestly, no. It never lasted long enough for me to write them off for that reason

As far as I remember most guys ended up getting possessive/having some sort of attitude because I was still dating other men and had a life. Also, they expected sex too early in the 'relationship', so I got rid of them. I don't know when the heck this started, but many of them assumed buying me a couple dinners/drinks meant that they could 'tap that', and that's not my style.

I noticed this A LOT with my girl friends back then. They were always uneasy because the guys would never want to make things official, but why would they? They were already dating these douchebags exclusively while they were out playing the field, supposedly 'not ready for a relationship'. Getting all the free milk without buying the cow

I'm not going to say this always works, but it always worked for me. When I wanted to make things official with a guy (only happened 3 times), I made it even more clear that I had a life and dated other (fabulous) men. No asking me for last minute dates and that sort of thing, they knew they had to compete.

Gosh, back then I had good self esteem

 

[naija24]

I think a man should ask. Let me just preface this by saying that I'm 24 (25 in August) so I'm still pretty young, but I have seen so many of my friends' "relationships" crash and burn because they just assumed they were in a relationship or even a serious relationship with a guy because they've been hanging out, dating, sleeping together for 3 plus months. They never asked the guy and the guy never brought it up. They would update facebook and talk about spending time with their dude.

And then said dude would be on a date with someone else and they would feel their worlds burn up in the most public way. Fights would ensue and the guy would always say something along the lines of "Did I ever say you were my girlfriend? Did I ever ask? No, I didn't. So what gave you that impression??" And there would be nothing my girlfriends could ever say about it. It was SUPER embarrassing.

Meanwhile, with my current man :3, we went on 3 dates in 2 weeks and on the 4th date, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes . No confusion or anything.

I think if you have to wonder, you're probably not. Best just to ask and get it out of the way early.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Well my feelings need to be there. If I have no interest in being a man's girlfriend then there's no question. If I am interested then I go by his actions. It doesn't take a man long to decide if he wants to see a woman exclusively. If I like a guy but I sense he's not as interested in me then I back away. I'd say 1-2 months. 3 months is pushing it.

 

[LiftedUp]

For me, within the first date we should be talking about it. I need to know where your head is at and what you are looking for.

I like upfront guys.

 

[newports]

what if the guy believes that 2 people dating = relationship?

 

[naija24]

what if the guy believes that 2 people dating = relationship?

newports most men from my experience and conversations do not believe that. some guys think that they are single until they are married, and continue dating around (without tellin you) until they get wifed up. They then proceed to think that the girls they fooled around with were never wife material and the girl that resisted the most is.

Men are dumbasses most of the time, which is why we have to be EXTREMELY clear about how we feel, be ourselves at all times and tell them everything we're thinking.

 

[Lucie]

3-4 dates. Or a few weeks.

 

[Lucie]

@newports most men from my experience and conversations do not believe that. some guys think that they are single until they are married, and continue dating around (without tellin you) until they get wifed up. They then proceed to think that the girls they fooled around with were never wife material and the girl that resisted the most is.

Men are dumbasses most of the time, which is why we have to be EXTREMELY clear about how we feel, be ourselves at all times and tell them everything we're thinking.

While I do agree with being EXTREMELY clear , I do not agree with telling them everything we are thinking. I spent a good portion of my life married but it appears to me that a man that is into you, is up front about it and his intentions. You either like a person and want to be with them or you don't.

 

[Mai Tai]

what if the guy believes that 2 people dating = relationship?

Men like this need not apply...

Any guy of mine would make his intentions very clear and official. My FH did it when he asked me to be his GF and his wife so...yeah...