After 5 Years I Still Haven't Reached My Goal? Need Some Advice...

GabbyABaby

GabbyABaby

Active Member
Hey everyone,

I'm a new member of LHCF, but I'm not a stranger to this great website. I started my hair journey in 2007 with a relaxer and a year later I decided to grow it out. I transitioned for 18 months and I've been natural for 3 years. When I started taking better care of my hair my initial goal was BSL. While I had a relaxer I barely reached this goal (the nape of my hair was touching my bra strap), but after experiencing an awful setback after getting a bad relaxer I decided to go natural (something I thought I'd never do) and change my hair length goal to MBL. To this day, I'm so happy that I made that choice I love my natural hair! :grin: But one natural-haired problem that I think is hindering my progress is KNOTS (the fairy knots) they are sooo annoying and have been the reason why I continue to hack off my hair all the time! I love perfect ends and when my ends don't feel smooth I get to cutting! I take very good care of my hair (I moisturize 2x daily, I wear protective hairstyles, I always deep condition after a wash, and I have a good sense of protein-moisture balance with my hair) so I don't understand why this keeps happening. My first approach to dealing when I encountered these knots were to just let them rock, but this ended up in the very ends of my hair breaking off horribly. By summer 2010 the nape of my hair was inching past MBL (the rest of my hair takes a while to catch up) but the bottom half of my hair looked so thin and ugly so I just chopped it off to shoulder length. My hair grows pretty quick so I've never really had any qualms about cutting it. So lately I've just been searching and destroying every singly knot I come across, but that doesn't seem to be easing the problem but that just seems to be inhibiting me fro retaining length. So I've got this feedback mechanism going on with my hair now that stops me from growing it past the length it currently is (between APL and BSL) and I don't know what to do. I need help from all you experienced ladies, what should I do to get my hair to full MBL knot-free?

(I hope this post wasn't too long and boring :yawn:)
 
SSKs will ruin your hair. Whenever I find then I cut them off immediately. I also make sure to stay on top of my ends. I inspect them regularly for damage,
 
Ahhhhhh yes....the dreaded "knots" of natural hair. :nono:

They are the BANE of my existence! :wallbash: :wallbash:


Honestly, I have a friend of mine who's a 4b natural like me who basically told me flat out: "Our type of hair is GOING to have knots. There's no way around it. It's almost unavoidable, so I just choose not to stress out about them." :look:

So, basically her motto is to take care of your hair as well as you can, moisturize, and try to stay on top of your hair , but don't fret too much about knots because it's almost inevitable with natural hair. :ohwell: Idk if you're a Type 4, Type 3 or whatever natural, but I know the kinkier the hair, the harder it is to stay "knot-free". Is there even such a thing?? :lol:

So far, my not giving a care about them has helped me to be less anxious about them. However, I DO notice that when I twist my hair or leave it in stretched out styles, I don't get as many knots as when I do wash n' goes, or styles that leave my hair in a more shrunken state. :ohwell:
 
My hair knots no matter what I do, twists, buns, etc. The only way it doesn't knot is if I straighten, and I have neither the time nor the energy to do that regularly. So I choose not to stress it. I trim my ends every 10 weeks, which eliminates most of the knots on the ends, and KIM. I may lose close to 2 inches of growth doing this (I get around 4-6 inches of growth a year), but my hair is healthier and thicker. Like you, my hair doesn't grow evenly, so I know I'm in this for a few more years at least.
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
when I twist my hair or leave it in stretched out styles, I don't get as many knots as when I do wash n' goes, or styles that leave my hair in a more shrunken state. :ohwell:
Click to expand...

^^^^^THIS^^^^^
​

and incorporating aloevera juice (spritz hair after washing) which I think, smooths the cuticles and prevents me having bushy ends.

kimmaytube has a nice video on the importance of pH. i cant find it now as we dont have access the YT at work. but if anyone can post the link for that vid, please do :drunk:

Ive been doing this for the last 3 months and I finally seem to be getting a handle on my retention (which was about nil last year)
 
I seal my ends with castor oil after moisturizing it. It has helped keep the ssk's away.
 
The type of styles you wear make a huge difference in whether you get SSK's. When I twist my hair or wear twist outs, I get SSK's. However, when I braid my hair, I rarely get them. I monitor the styles I wear and make adjustments accordingly. Do you baggy your ends at night? I baggy 2-3 times per week when my hair is braided. I seal with castor oil mixed with water in the colder months and straight olive oil in the warmer months. So far I have retained my length. I only trim when needed.
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
Ahhhhhh yes....the dreaded "knots" of natural hair. :nono:

They are the BANE of my existence! :wallbash: :wallbash:


Honestly, I have a friend of mine who's a 4b natural like me who basically told me flat out: "Our type of hair is GOING to have knots. There's no way around it. It's almost unavoidable, so I just choose not to stress out about them." :look:

So, basically her motto is to take care of your hair as well as you can, moisturize, and try to stay on top of your hair , but don't fret too much about knots because it's almost inevitable with natural hair. :ohwell: Idk if you're a Type 4, Type 3 or whatever natural, but I know the kinkier the hair, the harder it is to stay "knot-free". Is there even such a thing?? :lol:

So far, my not giving a care about them has helped me to be less anxious about them. However, I DO notice that when I twist my hair or leave it in stretched out styles, I don't get as many knots as when I do wash n' goes, or styles that leave my hair in a more shrunken state. :ohwell:
Click to expand...

I've been trying to accept this, but it's so annoying! My hands are always in my hair and I'm constantly feeling knots and it really bugs me :/ I also noticed that my hair tends to knot less if I wear stretched styles. I'll try to incorporate them into my routine.
I'm a type 3C/4A, I'll get some pics on here soon. Thanks for your response :)
 
Last edited:
Ronnieaj said:
My hair knots no matter what I do, twists, buns, etc. The only way it doesn't knot is if I straighten, and I have neither the time nor the energy to do that regularly. So I choose not to stress it. I trim my ends every 10 weeks, which eliminates most of the knots on the ends, and KIM. I may lose close to 2 inches of growth doing this (I get around 4-6 inches of growth a year), but my hair is healthier and thicker. Like you, my hair doesn't grow evenly, so I know I'm in this for a few more years at least.
Click to expand...

I've noticed the same thing and I actually went through a period of time constantly straightening my hair and during that time I was knot free, but it was too time consuming and I got some heat damage from it. I'll guess I'll try to do stretched hair styles. Thanks for responding :)
 
SimJam said:
^^^^^THIS^^^^^
​

and incorporating aloevera juice (spritz hair after washing) which I think, smooths the cuticles and prevents me having bushy ends.

kimmaytube has a nice video on the importance of pH. i cant find it now as we dont have access the YT at work. but if anyone can post the link for that vid, please do :drunk:

Ive been doing this for the last 3 months and I finally seem to be getting a handle on my retention (which was about nil last year)
Click to expand...

Thanks! I'll go buy some and try it out :)
 
newgrowth15 said:
The type of styles you wear make a huge difference in whether you get SSK's. When I twist my hair or wear twist outs, I get SSK's. However, when I braid my hair, I rarely get them. I monitor the styles I wear and make adjustments accordingly. Do you baggy your ends at night? I baggy 2-3 times per week when my hair is braided. I seal with castor oil mixed with water in the colder months and straight olive oil in the warmer months. So far I have retained my length. I only trim when needed.
Click to expand...

I've been baggying since 2007, but recently I've stopped because it didn't seem to be helping the knot problem. I'll try it again though. Thanks for the suggestion :)
 
GabbyABaby said:
I've noticed the same thing and I actually went through a period of time constantly straightening my hair and during that time I was knot free, but it was too time consuming and I got some heat damage from it. I'll guess I'll try to do stretched hair styles. Thanks for responding :)
Click to expand...

Kimmaytube has a video mentioning the reason she keeps her hair stretched/straightening is to prevent tangles and breakage.
 
Right now I have some color damage, but it's pretty much all grown out I just need to get a good trim to about SL again. After that I'll start wearing stretched hair styles and baggying with watered down caster oil and using aloe vera juice as a leave in (I currently don't have a leave-in). I also plan on getting a sew-in this summer, it helped me to retain a lot of length during the school year and it saved me a lot of styling time. Thanks for all the advice you guys!! I really appreciate it. I'm so glad I finally stopped being cheap and paid the subscription fee for this website lmao!
 
Actually I just went on Kimmaytube's youtube channel and she has over 100 videos...can someone put the video on here please?
 
GabbyABaby said:
Actually I just went on Kimmaytube's youtube channel and she has over 100 videos...can someone put the video on here please?
Click to expand...

Sorry I'm on my phone at work. But I think in the one titles "the reason I don't wear an afro" she talks about keeping it stretched. I'm sure she has a few about it though.
 
I'm pretty sure those knots are something that you can solve because I had them and no longer have them anymore.

I noticed them more when I used certain types of products. Hair butters always give me knots for example.
 
I used to have an Ssk issue but I found that when I used creamier leave-ins under my styler I don't have a big issue with them.

Also I detangle AND deshed with my Denman every 3 days...well I use the denman brush every 1-2 weeks, but getting rid of shed hairs frequently and stepping up my moisture really helped BIG time:yep:
 
Vanthie said:
I'm pretty sure those knots are something that you can solve because I had them and no longer have them anymore.

I noticed them more when I used certain types of products. Hair butters always give me knots for example.
Click to expand...

Hmm...my hair is the opposite. A good butter like virgin mango reduced and eventually prevented knots in my hair. I can no longer find virgin mango butter which sucks because while I've tried other butters...I can't find one that worked as well as the virgin mango butter.
 
Try keep your hair in stretched states like from banding or rollersetting. This seems to work really well for me (i am 3c/4a). Regular dusting is also good (like once a month).

Also take a look at your products. I used to use a lot of products that would coat and dry out my hair. Not I only use shampoo, conditioner, and LustraSilk Olive Oil Cholesterol. Every now and again I may use gel or some other curl cream for some hold, but I usually find my hair to be dry and tangly after I use them.
 
candy626 said:
Try keep your hair in stretched states like from banding or rollersetting. This seems to work really well for me (i am 3c/4a). Regular dusting is also good (like once a month).

Also take a look at your products. I used to use a lot of products that would coat and dry out my hair. Not I only use shampoo, conditioner, and LustraSilk Olive Oil Cholesterol. Every now and again I may use gel or some other curl cream for some hold, but I usually find my hair to be dry and tangly after I use them.
Click to expand...

So you don't use a daily moisturizer?
 
SmilingElephant said:
I used to have an Ssk issue but I found that when I used creamier leave-ins under my styler I don't have a big issue with them.

Also I detangle AND deshed with my Denman every 3 days...well I use the denman brush every 1-2 weeks, but getting rid of shed hairs frequently and stepping up my moisture really helped BIG time:yep:
Click to expand...

what type of leave-in do you use?
 
I keep my ends rolled on satin rollers. I keep the rollers on my ends even when I wash until the final rinse to avoid the knots etc.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

snoopy1me
Going natural till goal reached, then relaxing??
Replies
29
Views
3K
snoopy1me
snoopy1me
Stormy
I've Reached My Goal!!
2
Replies
54
Views
4K
stacy
stacy
hopeful
I reached my first goal!
2
Replies
41
Views
4K
DDTexlaxed
DDTexlaxed
determine3
Quick question for those who reached goal....
Replies
4
Views
1K
tastesosweet
tastesosweet
MissFallon
I've reached my first goal
2
Replies
31
Views
3K
jaded_faerie
jaded_faerie
Back
Top