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After 43 weeks of transitioning i must relax!!!

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Thank you ladies for the encouragement i think that is what i really needed to hear being around such negativity!!! i was not going to post at first and just relax but i am very grateful i did now and you ladies are right i did come this far it would be a shame to relax....i have subscribed to the threads you recommended and im going to go out and try on some wigs (kind of exciting lol)!!! You truly do not know how much this boost of confidence means and i hope to post in a few months with my wonderful progress!!!
 
Don't relax. Your hair is too pretty natural. Get it braided and throw a wig on until you can get someone to give you a nice trim. Stick around here and these beatiful heads of natural will have you on your way.
 
Please don't relax your hair just because someone/society says you should.

Give your beautiful natural hair a chance.

It's what you were blessed with.

Appreciating the hair you were born with is a part of appreciating yourself.
 
Coming from a relaxed transitioner - DON'T DO IT. Your hair is BEAUTIFUL, mama! :yep:

Even if you have to get one those electric hot combs to use until you figure it out - DON'T relax! :nono:
 
I agree with what everyone here has said. Your hair is just gorgeous. I hope my hair can look like this when I BC. It's just so pretty. Rock that with confidence lady. Don't you feel unsure, because that will allow other people to feel unsure as well.

naturaltlc said:
This was me about 3 weeks ago. I wore protective styles with twists and braid extension. I had been cutting the permed hair out each time I would have it redone. Finally, after almost a year of braids, I cut the perm and decided to wear my natural hair.

I struggled with the amount of shrinkage and the overall length. I liked my texture when it is wet but struggled with acceptance once it dried. After one week of re-wetting every 2 or 3 hours, I finally figured out the right products for me to maintain moisture thoughout the day (with much help from the ladies posting on this website). Now, I love my hair and I love my texture.

For me it was the rejecting the notion that our hair should be straight. These thoughts passed with time. As everyone else has said and I agree, you have beautiful hair. You just have to believe it. Hang in there!
Click to expand...

I would love to know how you maintain your moisture throughout the day. I'm struggling with this problem as well, and I'd love any advice you could offer.
 
OP. your natural hair is GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!! It will grow in no time, just be patient and keep caring for it.
 
KarmelQT_2008 said:
October 1, 2008 was the date of my last relaxer and on my way to complete freedom of becoming a natural...or so i thought :ohwell: To make a long story short i basically jumped in head first never stretched a relaxer or anything before and as i got more into my journey i brought the right products but was not applying to right techniques i.e detangling.....and i am the worst stylist ever......so about 2 weeks ago i went to get a sew in and she had to cut most of my relaxed end (in which was ok because i plan to wear the sew in for at least 3 months) because there was severe matting in the back due to not detangling properly!!! well lets say it lasted a week the braids were too tight bumps were forming along my hairline and the front was just messed up the way she did it...i took it out and now i have a curly afro that i can not deal with college student on budget and still some breakage so im at the point i want to relax!!!!


question is are there any techniques or things i need to do before getting a relaxer?

im planning to just get a store bought relaxer which one is best?

i plan on searching for information on how i can now properly care for relaxed hair and do plan to try at transitioning again!!!! Im just frustrated that it took time to do this and now i must relax again but i will not be discouraged as i am doing what is best for my hair...Thanks for listening ladies!!
Click to expand...

Hey I thought we were transitioning together? I'm sorry you feel like this and hope you do what best for you.
 
KARAMEL!!! I"m going to punch you dead in your eye if you relax now.

WTF is wrong with you?!?!!

GET IT TOGETHER GIRL!!!

Deep breaths

Think about this.

What's the real problem? Breakage and Fear

Solve that.

PS: relaxing is not the solution

Ideas: Trim off the rest of the relaxed ends, deep condition and moisturize like your life depended on it, try some twistouts/braidouts, as well as well conditioned/moisturized wash n gos. Cowash like the dickens, keep your scalpy clean, be gentle with your hair...have I mentioned moisturize??

Don't let temporary frustration lead you to an un-necessary setback.
 
ltown- i know girl im going to stick it out because i would hate to relax and have to start this process over!!

WHimsy- OH MY!! lol im for sure not going to touch the relax now that you have threatened me lol but i know it is out of love and i am going to cut off the rest of the relax ends and treat my hair to a pamper day tomorrow!!! Found some wigs today and plan to get a sew in within a few weeks thanks for the advice and love!!
 
KarmelQT_2008 said:
ltown- i know girl im going to stick it out because i would hate to relax and have to start this process over!!

WHimsy- OH MY!! lol im for sure not going to touch the relax now that you have threatened me lol but i know it is out of love and i am going to cut off the rest of the relax ends and treat my hair to a pamper day tomorrow!!! Found some wigs today and plan to get a sew in within a few weeks thanks for the advice and love!!
Click to expand...

I'm just so happy that you're not going to relax. I'm just in love with your curls, and I can't wait to see the styles you come up with and the progress you will achieve.
 
yay im glad you're not relaxing
your hair is so very pretty
you are so lucky you made it this far!
good luck!
 
KarmelQT_2008 said:
October 1, 2008 was the date of my last relaxer and on my way to complete freedom of becoming a natural...or so i thought :ohwell: To make a long story short i basically jumped in head first never stretched a relaxer or anything before and as i got more into my journey i brought the right products but was not applying to right techniques i.e detangling.....and i am the worst stylist ever......so about 2 weeks ago i went to get a sew in and she had to cut most of my relaxed end (in which was ok because i plan to wear the sew in for at least 3 months) because there was severe matting in the back due to not detangling properly!!! well lets say it lasted a week the braids were too tight bumps were forming along my hairline and the front was just messed up the way she did it...i took it out and now i have a curly afro that i can not deal with college student on budget and still some breakage so im at the point i want to relax!!!!



question is are there any techniques or things i need to do before getting a relaxer?

im planning to just get a store bought relaxer which one is best?

i plan on searching for information on how i can now properly care for relaxed hair and do plan to try at transitioning again!!!! Im just frustrated that it took time to do this and now i must relax again but i will not be discouraged as i am doing what is best for my hair...Thanks for listening ladies!!
Click to expand...

KarmelQT_2008 said:
ltown- i know girl im going to stick it out because i would hate to relax and have to start this process over!!

WHimsy- OH MY!! lol im for sure not going to touch the relax now that you have threatened me lol but i know it is out of love and i am going to cut off the rest of the relax ends and treat my hair to a pamper day tomorrow!!! Found some wigs today and plan to get a sew in within a few weeks thanks for the advice and love!!
Click to expand...

Good KarmetQT, we can keep each other on track, thanks Whimsy for the encouragement. I've done this transition thing 3 times and I'm in it for the long haul because we have so much support here!
 
KarmelQT_2008 said:
WHimsy- OH MY!! lol im for sure not going to touch the relax now that you have threatened me lol but i know it is out of love and i am going to cut off the rest of the relax ends and treat my hair to a pamper day tomorrow!!! Found some wigs today and plan to get a sew in within a few weeks thanks for the advice and love!!
Click to expand...

Sounds like a wonderful plan. You can do this! :yep:
 
Don't do it!! My last relaxer was October 11, 2008 so we're pretty close! I've worn a sew-in for two months and I've been rocking my usual buns the rest of the time. There are sooooo many youtube videos out there that can help you be creative with your hair right now.

I'm used to bunning right now and although my SO is tired of my buns (LOL) they work for me. You should get in a routine of co-washing every weekend to give yourself time to properly detangle your hair. I have to comb through mine everyday to make sure it doesn't get too tangled due to its thickness but again this works for me. So you have to do the same...find what works for your hair.

Good luck
 
Thanks i have gotten some great advice here and my mother is still coming at me asking me to go out and get a relaxer but i showed her the 4a thread and some fotkis and made her realize i was doing this for me and not her and to see what potential my hair has in the future... now i think i finally have her support so im really good now!!!
 
It really helps when your family supports your decision. I'm glad that mom's behind you :yep:. Glad you decided not to relax, have fun picking some wigs and show us pics when you get them :grin:!
 
countrychickd said:
I agree with what everyone here has said. Your hair is just gorgeous. I hope my hair can look like this when I BC. It's just so pretty. Rock that with confidence lady. Don't you feel unsure, because that will allow other people to feel unsure as well.



I would love to know how you maintain your moisture throughout the day. I'm struggling with this problem as well, and I'd love any advice you could offer.
Click to expand...

At week later my Miss Jessie's products came. I am a Co-wash and go girl. At least for the rest of the summer.

http://public.fotki.com/Naturaltlc/june-2009/
 
I just had to reply to this post.
The first line of your OT is 'October 1, 2008 was the date of my last relaxer and on my way to complete freedom of becoming a natural'.
Trust me OT, you don't wan't to put all of that hard work down the drain. My last relaxer was in October 08 too so I know how hard it is, and thanks to wigs, I'm gtting through it.
Just think about the end goal... thick, long, gorgeous natural hair. You have a beautiful texture.
 
I agree we're running along the same time line ... I'm transitioning now too, sometimes it get tough but I suck it up and keep it moving. I've come too far.
 
Glad your not going to do it. I have been natural for years now. I went back and forth a couple of times but realized that I like my hair better in its natural state. I did not transition hardly at all. I cut my hair off after a month of new growth and never went back. I want to say my last relaxer was in 2005 or 2006. I went natural the first time in 1997 though. Oh and believe me most of my family was against me going natural. They kept saying when are you going to get your hair done? Well now lets see years later they don't say anything because I have a healthy head of long natural hair (though my hair does shrink down quite a bit). You have a lot of support here and some good transitioning advice. If you have any questions/tips feel free to PM me.
 
yeah its still a day by day process but you ladies have talked me off of the ledge....being that i have no clue how to style im trying to see how i can get the twa to work maybe its just the technique im using because i can not even get a good looking defined afro :(
 
KarmelQT_2008 said:
Yes that is basically it i do not look right with this curly fro styling is very limited so i do not know what to do!!!! I know next time i transition how to properly detangle my hair and keep it from matting and hopefully i will have more money so i can find a stylist that can help me along with my journey.
Click to expand...


DON'T DO IT!!! get cornrows kinky twist, individuals------ some kind of braids.



i just dont want you to regrette all that time you transitioned!:nono:.
 
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