Afraid to Love

[southernchocolate]

I’ve never seen a good relationship in my family. I mean never!!! I don’t even know what a normal relationship is. The only thing I’ve seen in my family as far as relationships are fighting and cheating. The men constantly cheat and the women constantly take them back. This includes my mother, my grandmother, some of my aunts and my own little sister. For a long time I thought that this was love. If there is no fighting or no one is cheating, then it must not be a real relationship because these are just normal problems that relationships go though. I saw myself going down this path at one time and even cheated with someone else’s man because in my family, “love” is all that matters. (I didn’t really love that kneegro; I just had some jacked up self-esteem)


I’m currently single and taking this time to get closer to my God and get to know me better. But I’m also at the age where thoughts of marriage and baby’s are starting to creep in. I want love. I know that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but I don’t want to go through what the ladies in my family are going through. It’s so bad in my family that if they do see a couple that is happy, someone will go, “He’s probably cheating on her.” This is the thinking that goes on. I want to be able to break the cycle but I really am scared. How would I even begin?

 

[LovelyRo]

Ask God to prepare you for love!

 

[mscocoface]

I agree with A4T. Also there are wonderful Christian books out there about relationships and how to develop them.

Also FIND someone who seems to meet the standards of a what a strong marriage is. Ask them questions, talk to them about it.

A good one by Myles Monroe - Single, Married, Separated and Divorced. Give great lessons and action items to get your life ready for or to improve relationships.

You even have a few ladies on this site who seem to have pretty decent or shall I say healthy marriages, ask them questions PM them.

Knolwedge is key, understanding is key. These things help alleviate the fear and concerns.

You just need to find out what it takes to have a healthy relationship. You will have ups and downs but they don't have to be complete disasters and you want to be able to know when there is someone you are interested in the tell tell signs that this person would make a good mate based upon what you know and what you have seen that determines a healthy marriage.

You can't know everything but knowing as much as you can and having the right heart about it is a good thing.