A Question for Women with White SOs...may be NSFW

LaBelle Africaine29

Well-Known Member
:look:.

Okay. I feel some type of way and this thread can go wrong very fast. However, I must ask.

Have you noticed "submissive" tendencies in your SO? Does your white SO want to be dominated sexually or debased and bossed around at your beck and call?


:look:

Why is race relevant? I noticed that some of the most "unusual" tendencies are harbored by white men. E.g. Money slavery, feet worship, etc.

I've noticed that highly successful WM like to be dominated and debased and bossed around in private. :look: Is there a correlation between being HNIC to the outside world and wanting something different when no one is watching?


On the other hand, maybe it depends on the caliber of WM. Could your SO be categorized as powerful/wealthy/highly successful? Please state this in your reply so that we can differentiate.

If this applies to a non-white SO, chime in as well. What have been the benefits of such a power dynamic? :sekret: Do you feel like a natural? Or have you had to bend your own tendencies(if its more inclined to be submissive) in order to make it work?




I'm curious because this has happened many times...am sorta entering in something new and dude is throwing hints like a Frisbee.

Would be curious to know if there is a researched scientific explanation behind this phenomena :sekret::bookworm2:

Best,

Ghetto Psychologist.


P.S.

I found this online. Having your source cited as "Street Dictionary" seems kind of shady, but its interesting stuff. It talks about women, but perhaps the same could apply to men.

http://www.streetdirectory.com/trav...ps___dominant_by_day_submissive_by_night.html

If you are like most men out there, you probably have no idea what makes those head-strong, powerful and intelligent career women “tick". I am referring to those women you see in power suits, managing a company or running her own, who seem completely invincible and on top of the world. These women know what they want in life and they do not stop until they get it. They are fast talkers, they can close a deal with a simple wink of the eye, they can make a male subordinate cry with the slightest of disappointed looks and they will never settle for anything less than perfect sexual equality. Furthermore, I think we can all agree that these are the sexiest women out there. Men just love to imagine what they have on underneath those designer suits.

The common train of thought and logic would lead you to assume that these women are just as domineering in the bedroom behind closed doors. Generally speaking, this is actually the furthest thing from the truth. Every person out there is different with regards to their personality in life and what turns them on after hours, and there will be many variations and deviances from the norm. However, most of the fierce and passionate women in the workforce love nothing more than to come home and be completely subjugated and ravaged by a very strong and masculine man.






In all sexual relationships there must be a dominant and a submissive. Two dominants or two submissives can get together and have magnificent sexual experiences, but there will be a certain something lacking emotionally. Each one will feel less psychologically satisfied because they will not be able to express their dominant or submissive traits quite a comfortably as they should. Pop culture tends to assume that people who are submissive during sex are doing so because this is how they want to be perceived in life, they want to be dominated. Even old psychology books will back up this old principle. Fortunately, the psychology of arousal and the logic that lies behind fantasies and the roles we play during lovemaking has been virtually re-written by Dr. Michael J. Bader, the leading psychoanalyst in this delicious area of expertise. To really sum up his new theories in a very rough manner, our sexual desires are almost the opposite of who we are in normal everyday life scenarios. His theories are applied to every sexual thought, idea and fantasy and not just dominant and subordinate behaviors. His new book made me quite hungry with dirty little thoughts.






A dominant women enjoys being submissive in bed because she is able to achieve stimulation. It is impossible to feel any kind of guilt, worry, or anxiety and become sexually aroused at the same time. Professional career women very often feel like they are too overbearing towards men, too controlling and too dominant. That causes a certain level of stress. This stress is completely alleviated by becoming the submissive during intercourse thereby allowing her to achieve stimulation. These and other new brilliant revelations have created a paradigm shift in the psychology of sex. And I think it is divine to have an in depth understanding of what makes the other person scream with hot blooded delight.

Of course, every individual will have a specific dirty little secret which turns them on and no two women are the same. This article applies to many strong business women, but not all. It becomes important to discuss what makes you turned on with your lover or find a reciprocal partner. But now many of you men know our dirty little secret. If you are the type of man who enjoys a dominant woman, the same logic applies to the quiet little librarian with the cat eyeglasses on. She just might be a dom-femme complete with a torture chamber in her home where she can break her male slaves. And don’t forget ladies …… this same idea applies to men![.=/quote]

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:look:.

Okay. I feel some type of way and this thread can go wrong very fast. However, I must ask.

Have you noticed "submissive" tendencies in your SO? Does your white SO want to be dominated sexually or debased and bossed around at your beck and call?


:look:

Why is race relevant? I noticed that some of the most "unusual" tendencies are harbored by white men. E.g. Money slavery, feet worship, etc.

I've noticed that highly successful WM like to be dominated and debased and bossed around in private. :look: Is there a correlation between being HNIC to the outside world and wanting something different when no one is watching?


On the other hand, maybe it depends on the caliber of WM. Could your SO be categorized as powerful/wealthy/highly successful? Please state this in your reply so that we can differentiate.

If this applies to a non-white SO, chime in as well. What have been the benefits of such a power dynamic? :sekret: Do you feel like a natural? Or have you had to bend your own tendencies(if its more inclined to be submissive) in order to make it work?




I'm curious because this has happened many times...am sorta entering in something new and dude is throwing hints like a Frisbee.

Would be curious to know if there is a researched scientific explanation behind this phenomena :sekret::bookworm2:

Best,

Ghetto Psychologist.


P.S.

I found this online. Having your source cited as "Street Dictionary" seems kind of shady, but its interesting stuff. It talks about women, but perhaps the same could apply to men.

http://www.streetdirectory.com/trav...ps___dominant_by_day_submissive_by_night.html


Follow your instincts:above highlighted statemnet..............:rolleyes:
 
where's GG...:look: (I believe she posted a link to a D/S forum)

I believe that D/S..statement...:look:

Intriguing lhcf Q's tonight....:blush:
 
Slightly off-topic material. This time, from a more credible source. LOL.

http://www.umich.edu/news/index.html?Releases/2005/Jul05/r071805b
Study finds women connect sex with submission

ANN ARBOR, Mich.—A University of Michigan study suggests that women, but not men, automatically associate sex with submission and that connection reduces the quality of their sexual experience.

U-M researchers Amy Kiefer, Diana Sanchez and Oscar Ybarra conducted four studies to reach the conclusions in the paper, "Sexual Submissiveness in Woman: Costs for Sexual Autonomy and Arousal," scheduled to appear in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin next year.

Key findings show that women implicitly associate sex with submission and that this leads to a submissive sexual role, which in turn leads to lower arousal and difficulty becoming aroused. This association appears to lower their arousal by reducing their sexual autonomy.

Researchers tested subjects by showing target words associated with submission on a computer screen, preceded by subliminal primes (words with a specific connotation, in this case sex primes and neutral primes. For instance, sex and oven).

Women's responses were on average faster when submissive words were preceded by a sex prime than by a neutral prime. This faster response indicates the two concepts are related in women's minds, said Kiefer, a recent doctoral graduate in the psychology department.

Further, on average the quicker the response, the more likely the women were to report engaging in submissive sexual behavior.

The priming results indicate that women may have unconsciously picked up the message that they should be sexually submissive, raising the possibility that women have internalized societal pressure, said Sanchez, a recent doctoral graduate in the psychology department and women's studies.

Previous research suggests that social norms promote deference to men, and this extends to intimate relationships. This message is constantly repeated by the media in magazines, television and movies that "commonly display male sexual dominance over women and female sexual submission to men," the paper states.

In a follow-up study, researchers asked the women a series of questions to gauge the impact of submissive behavior on arousal.

"The more women reported engaging in submissive behaviors, the less arousal they reported experiencing from a range of sexual activities. The problem with submissive behavior seems to be that women don't experience these behaviors as authentic expressions of their selves. Submission to their partner's desires appears to undermine their ability to assert themselves within the sexual context," Kiefer said. "I would say it's really important to recognize the fact that women associate their personal submission with sex, and this association seems to be detrimental to their sexual health."

Adopting a submissive role may cause women to have difficulty not only getting aroused, but also impair their communication with sexual partners, undermine their ability to insist on birth control, and increase their susceptibility to sexual coercion.

The researchers plan a series of papers on the topic of how conformity to traditional gender roles affect men and women's sexual behavior.
 
"There is a submissive and a dominant in every relationship" they say. Does this apply to your relationship? If so, who is who? And what is the socioeconomic station of your SO? (sorry if am intruding...well I am:lachen:)

I'm doing some independent research here. Its for my um, thesis. :look:

I don't know - I disagree with that.

In most of my relationships, we have been pretty equal in that category.

And to answer the topic question, I have never noticed that with white men. I have had many :look: and I don't think race has anything to do with their submissiveness or not.
 
My ex was white but I never noticed any of that...then again he said he was a black man stuck in a white body:look:. But I get where your question comes from, I've noticed it too. It's always politicians involved in those kinda scandals too:nono:
 
Have you noticed "submissive" tendencies in your SO? Does your white SO want to be dominated sexually or debased and bossed around at your beck and call?

Yes. That's all I'm gonna put here.

On the other hand, maybe it depends on the caliber of WM. Could your SO be categorized as powerful/wealthy/highly successful? Please state this in your reply so that we can differentiate.

No, but he has high aspirations.

Interesting thread by the way.
 
I've read around alot, and apparently many white men do have a thing for a dominant woman in bed.
so yeah, interesting.
 
where's GG...:look: (I believe she posted a link to a D/S forum)

I believe that D/S..statement...:look:

Intriguing lhcf Q's tonight....:blush:
You err um wanna elaborate JFemme? :lachen:

:look:

I don't know - I disagree with that.

In most of my relationships, we have been pretty equal in that category.

And to answer the topic question, I have never noticed that with white men. I have had many :look:
Thanks for contributing. Were this men well off or in prominent positions? Submissiveness may or may not have anything to do with race. I just thought that the added advantage of being "white" and deemed "powerful" in society could have an underlying effect in wanting something of "the opposite" in private.

Nah girl. Complete opposite of what you have described. And that's what I love about him. ALL man. :lick:
Hey now, that is not a fair.:lachen: Being submissive says nothing about the level of masculinty in the man. It is simply an innate preference. BTW is your man wealthy or in a prominent station in life?
My ex was white but I never noticed any of that...then again he said he was a black man stuck in a white body:look:. But I get where your question comes from, I've noticed it too. It's always politicians involved in those kinda scandals too:nono:
Yeh ditto on the scandals too. However, am meaning NORMAL men without any need to run around and getting mixed up in freaky scandals:lachen:
 
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No, not in the slightest. But then, I wouldn't date a submissive man of any race.:ohwell:
 
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Thanks for contributing. Were this men well off or in prominent positions? Submissiveness may or may not have anything to do with race. I just thought that the added advantage of being "white" and deemed "powerful" in society could have an underlying effect in wanting something of "the opposite" in private.


I can give two examples.

And old ex-bf of mine was probaly the most sucessful man I every dated and he was also more of the sexual aggressor, as well. I can be myself, and he did kinda tell me that he preferred making the moves most of the time. :look: I mean this guy liked the feeling of being of a position to just take "it" when he wanted and me being at his mercy.


(IS THIS T.M.I. - feels like it. LOL)

The most recent guy in my life is financially successful, but is more of a family guy, settled and mature and one that likes to take moral high road at times. He is not in some high powered position, but just a high paying creative field, but one that has a level of prestige attached to it. He and I are very equal in that area. He was not sexually aggressive like my ex was, and like any average guy willing to let you know what he wants. But I do find that I can be aggressive with him, and he is not mad about that - he even likes it.

So I gues maybe other factors play a part. Lifestyle, preferences, etc.
 
Can you share some of the things you've came up upon? :yep:
This isn't the same info that I've read, but this is either a rising trend or a trend that is finally being revealed so it's easy to find it.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/i...eN0ytJcjzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20090103055734AAZYw91

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/i...7P4foAUjzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20081113145406AASygM2


I'm still trying to find out how common this is. I'm thinking a good 15-40%, not majority but enough to notice.
financial mistresses( they basically call the men losers and demand money):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sRWpms8E8U
http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?&next_url=/watch?v=eV3jyXk898U

A dominatrix:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8H_7o7SN9fo
The comments are interesting
 
Have you noticed "submissive" tendencies in your SO?

No, not ever. He don't play that and neither do I.

Does your white SO want to be dominated sexually or debased and bossed around at your beck and call?

Again, no.

On the other hand, maybe it depends on the caliber of WM. Could your SO be categorized as powerful/wealthy/highly successful?

He makes a good living :yep:
 
All of my white SO were not submissive. Yes some were very prominent, some not so much.

I have also had financial slave who weren't SO and couldn't be bc I don't like that in a relationship. Yes they were higher up. I don't have time for brokies. :look:
 
No they were never submissive, maybe its a regional thing lol thats seems to be the freakin answer for everything on here
 
No they were never submissive, maybe its a regional thing lol thats seems to be the freakin answer for everything on here

No, not in the slightest. But then, I wouldn't date a submissive man of any race.:ohwell:
I do not mean that dude is submissive in personality 24/7. I'm talking about a normal "masculine manly man" doing a complete personality change behind closed doors.
I can give two examples.

And old ex-bf of mine was probaly the most sucessful man I every dated and he was also more of the sexual aggressor, as well. I can be myself, and he did kinda tell me that he preferred making the moves most of the time. :look: I mean this guy liked the feeling of being of a position to just take "it" when he wanted and me being at his mercy.


(IS THIS T.M.I. - feels like it. LOL)

The most recent guy in my life is financially successful, but is more of a family guy, settled and mature and one that likes to take moral high road at times. He is not in some high powered position, but just a high paying creative field, but one that has a level of prestige attached to it. He and I are very equal in that area. He was not sexually aggressive like my ex was, and like any average guy willing to let you know what he wants. But I do find that I can be aggressive with him, and he is not mad about that - he even likes it.

So I gues maybe other factors play a part. Lifestyle, preferences, etc.
You make a great point :grin:
This isn't the same info that I've read, but this is either a rising trend or a trend that is finally being revealed so it's easy to find it.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/i...eN0ytJcjzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20090103055734AAZYw91

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/i...7P4foAUjzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20081113145406AASygM2


I'm still trying to find out how common this is. I'm thinking a good 15-40%, not majority but enough to notice.
financial mistresses( they basically call the men losers and demand money):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sRWpms8E8U
http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?&next_url=/watch?v=eV3jyXk898U

A dominatrix:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8H_7o7SN9fo
The comments are interesting
Thanks. Some of the other things discussed in those links are out there, I think the second link touches on what am asking...how a man takes on a different "role" during intimate times. But on any other day, he prefers to be your provider and protector.

And btw, all this does not mean dude wants to be chained to a brick wall. :lachen: I'm meaning more of an "attitude" of submission.
Have you noticed "submissive" tendencies in your SO?

No, not ever. He don't play that and neither do I.

Does your white SO want to be dominated sexually or debased and bossed around at your beck and call?

Again, no.

On the other hand, maybe it depends on the caliber of WM. Could your SO be categorized as powerful/wealthy/highly successful?

He makes a good living :yep:
What do you mean by "he don't play that and neither do I". So who takes "control" then?

All of my white SO were not submissive. Yes some were very prominent, some not so much.

I have also had financial slave who weren't SO and couldn't be bc I don't like that in a relationship. Yes they were higher up. I don't have time for brokies. :look:
Thanks


P.S. Submissiveness could apply to other areas too, not necessarily in the bedroom. For example in my case, I've never been intimate with these guys. But picked up that they enjoyed when I bossed them around or tell them to get me something. I'm a bossy something anyway.:lachen: In public if I do that, they might get embarrassed or put off because their cover as "the guy in charge" is blown...but in private, its a go.


I'm not sure if am making myself clear.
 
Hey now, that is not a fair.:lachen: Being submissive says nothing about the level of masculinty in the man. It is simply an innate preference. BTW is your man wealthy or in a prominent station in life?

I'm sorry, but it would completely turn me off if a man wanted to be submissive. I guess I personally equate masculinity with strength, and submissiveness is not a part of that equation.

I dated a dude once (black guy) who when we were making out, wanted me to do some things to his hiny parts. :barf: I was like, nah bro. :lachen:Never saw dude again.

To answer your question, DH is in a prominent station in life. He's a VP at a consulting firm in NY.

Does the man's financial situation determine if he has submissive tendencies?
 
I'm sorry, but it would completely turn me off if a man wanted to be submissive. I guess I personally equate masculinity with strength, and submissiveness is not a part of that equation.

I dated a dude once (black guy) who when we were making out, wanted me to do some things to his hiny parts. :barf: I was like, nah bro. :lachen:Never saw dude again.

To answer your question, DH is in a prominent station in life. He's a VP at a consulting firm in NY.

Does the man's financial situation determine if he has submissive tendencies?
It usually does, but not always. Men who are used to "power" and having to be "in control" 24/7, usually enjoy being made a subordinate in other areas of their life.
 
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