A little discouraged

[natstar]

Yesterday I went out with a friend and we got on the conversation of hair. She asked me about a mutual friend's hair-that mutual friend is black and has waistlenghth relaxed (gorgeous-I might add) hair. Anyways my friend that I went out with yesterday asked me how she got her hair to grow so long, I was like-"Well I think she just takes care of it and it might also be genetics." She told me she did not think black people's hair grew long at at all and she also wanted to find out my long hair friend's secret to give advice to a black women at work who wants to grow her hair.

She asked me why my hair is always short (collarbone length-when straightened)- I feel like I have always had short hair and so I was a little sad after she asked this. I didn't know what to say. I said it was natural so my length isn't fully shown, but then I thought to myself, well even w/ it straight I don't have long hair and never had long hair. I just got through wearing dreads for a few years like in 04' then I took them out and I am wearing it natural. I felt a little discouraged after that conversation, but I really want to prove to myself and others that my hair can grow (maybe not to waistlength) but it can grow to bsl-it just takes time- Okay, I am done w/my rant

 

[Synthia]

I hate when people casually make remarks that they know are offensive. Tacky.

With great care, I hope you'll reach you goal :hug:

 

[Country gal]

I would not let that comment get to me. You should be thankful that you at least have hair. Not everyone can have waistlenght hair.

 

[kizzylonghair]

Girl,


I have been collarbone relaxed (Damaged, Split, Breaking) hair for ALL my life. UNTIL NOW!!! Sometimes I do feel a little discouraged but there is no doubt that my hair is growing and will continue to do so. I am hoping for BS hair next year myself.

Will we get there who knows, but there are hundreds of ladies on this board wondering the same question a number of years ago. And now they have beautiful long hair.


As for your friend I don’t think her comment is bad. I just think she just looking for same answers that you are- How to grow black hair- But Guess What U HAVE FOUND IT!!!! And she hasn’t.


So don’t worry about it. Just stick with it


Kizzy

 

[dlewis]

Don't let her words get you down, some folks are just negative. I see lots of black americans with long hair. You will see in about another year, 6" of growth and you can prove her wrong.

 

[hopeful]

When did collarbone length become short hair? That's what I want to know! Do not be discouraged, hopefully she did not intentionally hurt your feelings. Keep your head up, I'm sure your hair is beautiful. Being natural takes a lot of confidence because so many times you can't "show" your true length and that can be frustrating. Talking about your waist-length relaxed friend probably kinda opened the door for those hurt feelings. Focus on what you love about being natural and keep working on your regimen. In the end, you should be proud of your hair, I for one just reached neck-length and I am too proud!

 

[beyondcute]

Keep ya head up girl! Everyone has thier days.... *raising my hand* So buck up and let time show her how long you hair can get.

 

[shoelover1972]

When did collarbone length become short hair? That's what I want to know! Do not be discouraged, hopefully she did not intentionally hurt your feelings. Keep your head up, I'm sure your hair is beautiful. Being natural takes a lot of confidence because so many times you can't "show" your true length and that can be frustrating. Talking about your waist-length relaxed friend probably kinda opened the door for those hurt feelings. Focus on what you love about being natural and keep working on your regimen. In the end, you should be proud of your hair, I for one just reached neck-length and I am too proud!

ITA.
Collarbone IMHO is shoulder length & as your hair is natural it's even longer than this length. Keep positive.

 

[napgurl]

She told me she did not think black people's hair grew long at at all and she also wanted to find out my long hair friend's secret to give advice to a black women at work who wants to grow her hair.

She asked me why my hair is always short (collarbone length-when straightened)- I feel like I have always had short hair and so I was a little sad after she asked this. I didn't know what to say.)

It is time for us to sincerely uproot our negative thinking. We are lovely, we don't have to chase lovely. It is innate; however we abuse our loveliness by wanting that of another. This is because we don't stop these types of thoughts and saying from getting into our thoughts.

Here is an example of how words get deep into our subconscious. If I said "the energizer bunny keeps ____" now you know how to finish the saying "keeps going and going and going". Over and over advertising has planted this “saying” in our thinking. In the same what many self destructive thoughts have been planted in AA women’s minds when it comes to our loveliness. For instance how many times have you heard white and black people say "black hair can’t ____" now finish this "grow long." In the subconscious this saying turns into belief and eventually a self fulfilling prophecy.

You pull your own strings not some string off of some stringy hair girl who thinks hair close to her own is more beautiful. You grew up in this type of thinking and images all the time. Recondition yourself then you will flourish. Chase the dream that God naturally planted in you. Now I'm not talking natural versus relaxed AA hair. I’m talking about overall care of your hair. You know the blow drying, pressing, etc to get hair stringy straight is not in the cards for beautiful AA hair. Now play your hand you were dealt with the intelligence that you are acquiring from like kind people on this board. Firmly refuse to have anyone plant any other negative seeds into your thoughts. Next time stop her right there and say "yes, her hair is lovely, however I don't compare myself with other women. I'm too busy on so many of my own personal goals."

Keep coming here to this board where we daily uproot the self defeating lies. These lies die as everyday you see pictures that contradict old belief patterns. Here you can hook up with a picture and/or regime and see hair goals are achievable but you had to approach them from a different angle. And if that is true with hair, how many other goals are AA women not achieving because of self defeating thought patterns that should have been checked at the door before we let them into our thoughts.

 

[henrilou]

I too have been hurt my careless words. Funny how ten people can say wonderful things, but it's the one unkind thing we will focus on for the rest of the day. This means that all eleven things should be given equal weight (nothing) and you decide for yourself that you are beautiful, and valuable

henrilou

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Gosh, I wish I had collarbone length hair.

 

[MysTori]

I'm sure your hair is beautiful just the way it is. Don't let one person's comments get you down.

 

[*Happily Me*]

It is time for us to sincerely uproot our negative thinking. We are lovely, we don't have to chase lovely. It is innate; however we abuse our loveliness by wanting that of another. This is because we don't stop these types of thoughts and saying from getting into our thoughts.

Here is an example of how words get deep into our subconscious. If I said "the energizer bunny keeps ____" now you know how to finish the saying "keeps going and going and going". Over and over advertising has planted this “saying” in our thinking. In the same what many self destructive thoughts have been planted in AA women’s minds when it comes to our loveliness. For instance how many times have you heard white and black people say "black hair can’t ____" now finish this "grow long." In the subconscious this saying turns into belief and eventually a self fulfilling prophecy.

You pull your own strings not some string off of some stringy hair girl who thinks hair close to her own is more beautiful. You grew up in this type of thinking and images all the time. Recondition yourself then you will flourish. Chase the dream that God naturally planted in you. Now I'm not talking natural versus relaxed AA hair. I’m talking about overall care of your hair. You know the blow drying, pressing, etc to get hair stringy straight is not in the cards for beautiful AA hair. Now play your hand you were dealt with the intelligence that you are acquiring from like kind people on this board. Firmly refuse to have anyone plant any other negative seeds into your thoughts. Next time stop her right there and say "yes, her hair is lovely, however I don't compare myself with other women. I'm too busy on so many of my own personal goals."

Keep coming here to this board where we daily uproot the self defeating lies. These lies die as everyday you see pictures that contradict old belief patterns. Here you can hook up with a picture and/or regime and see hair goals are achievable but you had to approach them from a different angle. And if that is true with hair, how many other goals are AA women not achieving because of self defeating thought patterns that should have been checked at the door before we let them into our thoughts.

Loved your post!

 

[secretdiamond]

Loved your post!

Me too!! Thanks for that mscolwhite! It's something we all need to hear.

 

[Sazzy4Evr]

Mscolwhite your post was on point!

 

[natstar]

Me too!! Thanks for that mscolwhite! It's something we all need to hear.

I agree- And thanks ladies for your encouragement and words of wisdom- it's appreciated.

 

[PoeticJustice]

It is time for us to sincerely uproot our negative thinking. We are lovely, we don't have to chase lovely. It is innate; however we abuse our loveliness by wanting that of another. This is because we don't stop these types of thoughts and saying from getting into our thoughts.

Here is an example of how words get deep into our subconscious. If I said "the energizer bunny keeps ____" now you know how to finish the saying "keeps going and going and going". Over and over advertising has planted this “saying” in our thinking. In the same what many self destructive thoughts have been planted in AA women’s minds when it comes to our loveliness. For instance how many times have you heard white and black people say "black hair can’t ____" now finish this "grow long." In the subconscious this saying turns into belief and eventually a self fulfilling prophecy.

You pull your own strings not some string off of some stringy hair girl who thinks hair close to her own is more beautiful. You grew up in this type of thinking and images all the time. Recondition yourself then you will flourish. Chase the dream that God naturally planted in you. Now I'm not talking natural versus relaxed AA hair. I’m talking about overall care of your hair. You know the blow drying, pressing, etc to get hair stringy straight is not in the cards for beautiful AA hair. Now play your hand you were dealt with the intelligence that you are acquiring from like kind people on this board. Firmly refuse to have anyone plant any other negative seeds into your thoughts. Next time stop her right there and say "yes, her hair is lovely, however I don't compare myself with other women. I'm too busy on so many of my own personal goals."

Keep coming here to this board where we daily uproot the self defeating lies. These lies die as everyday you see pictures that contradict old belief patterns. Here you can hook up with a picture and/or regime and see hair goals are achievable but you had to approach them from a different angle. And if that is true with hair, how many other goals are AA women not achieving because of self defeating thought patterns that should have been checked at the door before we let them into our thoughts.

That was beautifully put!

Keep your head up Natstar and keep coming here for wholesome positive support!

 

[caltron]

What a beautiful post Mscolwhite!

I had long hair as a child, but it quickly broke off after getting my hair relaxed straight at age 13. For years I spent a fortune, even to the point of letting the stylists wash and set my hair between touchups, but it would still break and it would never keep a style. I am 4a, but I have very thick hair with very fine strands, so I think it's really easy to overprocess it when going straight. Then I pressed it, which was a little better, but still too damaging.

I know I can have long hair, but I either have to wear it natural and just wear it straight every once in a while, or just lightly texturize it.

 

[Netta1]

awwh girl.. don't pay that chile no mind.

 

[TwistNMx]

Yesterday I went out with a friend and we got on the conversation of hair. She asked me about a mutual friend's hair-that mutual friend is black and has waistlenghth relaxed (gorgeous-I might add) hair. Anyways my friend that I went out with yesterday asked me how she got her hair to grow so long, I was like-"Well I think she just takes care of it and it might also be genetics." She told me she did not think black people's hair grew long at at all and she also wanted to find out my long hair friend's secret to give advice to a black women at work who wants to grow her hair.

She asked me why my hair is always short (collarbone length-when straightened)- I feel like I have always had short hair and so I was a little sad after she asked this. I didn't know what to say. I said it was natural so my length isn't fully shown, but then I thought to myself, well even w/ it straight I don't have long hair and never had long hair. I just got through wearing dreads for a few years like in 04' then I took them out and I am wearing it natural. I felt a little discouraged after that conversation, but I really want to prove to myself and others that my hair can grow (maybe not to waistlength) but it can grow to bsl-it just takes time- Okay, I am done w/my rant

Natstar,
I know how you feel. Sometimes I get discouraged with my hair too. Bad hair days, and people who show off because they have "so called" good hair and easy to manage. I'm feeling ya gurl!
Sometimes it's hard, but I try to keep a positive attitude and work with what I have the best I can.
HP

 

[LovelyZ]

Has your friend been to this forum? I think that would nip the whole "black people don't have long hair" thing in the bud. She just needs to be enlightened. And you can feel proud of your own hair progress. I know it hurts when other people make negative comments. Do your best to brush it off and not dwell on it a moment longer.