A little discouraged...

[Southernbella.]

I have a confession. I've been reading several natural threads, and I'm feeling a little discouraged. There was one thread about "How do you wear your hair everyday", and several people stated that they wear wigs or weaves. Others wear braids every day. It seemed like only a minority actually wear their hair out all the time(in various styles).

I guess I'm wondering if it's going to be harder than I thought. Don't get me wrong, I'm not changing my mind at all about going natural, but I just feel like maybe I have the wrong idea about natural hair.

Is there anyone who wears their hair out all the time? As a relaxed head, I never wore protective styles and I don't want to change that as a natural. I have nothing against wigs/weave/braids, but I don't want to wear those either.

So, am I crazy in thinking that I should be able to wear my hair out (whether it be straightened, a puff, twists, braid/twistouts, WNG's) all the time as a natural and still see growth?

 

[Miss*Tress]

I wear my hair out all the time lately, hence my new personal challenge. Check out pink skates' Fotki album for her routine and tips; she doesn't seem to have sacrificed styling of her own hair to being natural.

 

[Sunshine_One]

Hi Lauren450

I'm natural and I wear my own hair in an out style 99% of the time. When it's not "out" it's in a wash & go pony or puff. I braid or twist and release when dry. These are basically the same styles I did while I transitioned for a year and half. I will admitt it does get boring and frustrating at times. IMO, it's a continual learning process...to accept and work with you natural hair. I miss having swingy straight hair. On those occassions I do a roller set to give more appearance of length. I only straighten twice a year. I set lil goals for myself for example: I promised myself a either a dominican blow out or a rollerset and flat iron this Fall if I could make it through the heat/shrinkage of the summer. That kept me motivated. So now I'm looking forward to that reward.

As for hair pieces, I never really got into them. I bought a clip on pony late last year that I have yet to use. LOL I paid a pretty penny for it and it just chilling in the drawer. But I will say I like the look of them on other people...I really need to experiment more it may help me on the challenging days.

HTH

 

[Nice & Wavy]

I have a confession. I've been reading several natural threads, and I'm feeling a little discouraged. There was one thread about "How do you wear your hair everyday", and several people stated that they wear wigs or weaves. Others wear braids every day. It seemed like only a minority actually wear their hair out all the time(in various styles).

I guess I'm wondering if it's going to be harder than I thought. Don't get me wrong, I'm not changing my mind at all about going natural, but I just feel like maybe I have the wrong idea about natural hair.

Is there anyone who wears their hair out all the time? As a relaxed head, I never wore protective styles and I don't want to change that as a natural. I have nothing against wigs/weave/braids, but I don't want to wear those either.

So, am I crazy in thinking that I should be able to wear my hair out (whether it be straightened, a puff, twists, braid/twistouts, WNG's) all the time as a natural and still see growth?

Hey Lauren,

No, you are not crazy thinking this at all. I think you will be able to do it but remember, you have long hair now. If you cut your relaxed hair off, you will have a totally different way of doing your hair. Natural hair is different...period. There are some who do where their hair out and love it (divastyle comes to mind).

As a natural who was once relaxed, I can say that I feel somewhat limited to what I can do with my hair now because of length. I don't straighten my hair often, so pony puffs is what I wear most often. I don't wear a wash and go because my hair is not where I want it to be when I do wear it out. I have tried twistouts, and they were ok, but still I didn't like the way it looked because for me, its still not long enough yet. I try to do as much protective styles as I can because I want my hair to get to the length I want it to be. I don't do wigs and I have worn a phony pony before but the dh don't like it at all.

I do try to come up with different styles to make it through the day. I know that when my hair gets to the length of Pokahontas or Cichele and Divastyle, then I will feel more like I can do more with my hair.

Since you are use to wearing your hair out, I think a long transition will probably be your best option, at least then your hair will still be long enough to do what you are pretty much use to doing with your hair now.

With all that said, I do love being natural and although I hate shrinkage, I don't think I will go back to be relaxed.

Hope that helps somewhat.

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

I think that it is just truly preference. Natural hair can be challenging to deal with at times especially when you are initially natural and learning your texture...so braids, weaves, and wigs are sometimes simply easier.

However, I think that if you have found the right products and build a solid regimen...then your natural hair becomes more predictable and easier to handle and thus style.

I wear my hair in either puff, twists, twistouts, or straight...all my natural hair except sometimes my puff is a phony because I like to baggy if my ends need extra moisture. To be honest...there are moments when I just dont want to "deal" with my natural hair....and braids seem tempting...but my scalp doesnt really like weave so I get over it and just put my hair in twists for a couple weeks.

I would just say dont be disillussioned about the amount of work that natural hair takes...but I do think it is worth it and you can wear your hair "out" consistently as a natural. As long as you moisturize daily and listen to what your hair needs/wants, you should be fine.

You have beautiful hair...I am positive that you will keep it well-styled and healthy as a natural.

 

[Southernbella.]

I wear my hair out all the time lately, hence my new personal challenge. Check out pink skates' Fotki album for her routine and tips; she doesn't seem to have sacrificed styling of her own hair to being natural.

I see that you are hiding your hair now. Did you experience any damage from wearing your hair out constantly?

 

[Country gal]

I wear my hair out everyday. I have no problems with it. See my fotki for pics. In the summer, I wear wash and gos. I sometimes blow dry my hair and twist it. I do twist outs too. My hair is definitely strong and healthy. I get lots of compliments on my hair.

 

[dlewis]

Divastyle is natural and wears her hair out almost daily. And she's at waist. I would think it depends on the person.

 

[Southernbella.]

Hi Lauren450

I'm natural and I wear my own hair in an out style 99% of the time. When it's not "out" it's in a wash & go pony or puff. I braid or twist and release when dry. These are basically the same styles I did while I transitioned for a year and half. I will admitt it does get boring and frustrating at times. IMO, it's a continual learning process...to accept and work with you natural hair. I miss having swingy straight hair. On those occassions I do a roller set to give more appearance of length. I only straighten twice a year. I set lil goals for myself for example: I promised myself a either a dominican blow out or a rollerset and flat iron this Fall if I could make it through the heat/shrinkage of the summer. That kept me motivated. So now I'm looking forward to that reward.

As for hair pieces, I never really got into them. I bought a clip on pony late last year that I have yet to use. LOL I paid a pretty penny for it and it just chilling in the drawer. But I will say I like the look of them on other people...I really need to experiment more it may help me on the challenging days.

HTH

See, I don't mind doing different styles. I may get bored, but I got bored with my relaxed hair too sometimes. I'm just hoping that I won't hurt my growth by not wearing protective styles. Your post gives me hope!

 

[turnergirl]

I wore my hair out 99.9% of the time for my first 3.8 years of being natural, actually more than that. My hair was as long if not longer (before I cut my color out last September) as it is now (1 year after the cut). My hair grew very well. I BD'd to a half inch twa in Dec. of 02 and I was at BSL by May of 06. That was after a million and one disaster "trims" and stylists deciding to "fix" my hair with cuts. I wore a wash and go almost everyday. In fact anystyle I did was just a modified wash and go. I did not have crazy splits or breakage. I also flat ironed (the wrong way, blow dry and flat iron on high heat sans heat protectant) usually once every 2 months, sometimes one a month or more. I did not take supplements, DC or do protien and my hair was fine.


With that said, you can certainly wear your hair out everyday and keep it healthy, you will just need to take the time to be gentle with it when you are handling it daily. You have a great regimine and more knowledge than I had on the right way to care for your hair so you should have much better growth and retention than I did. I wore my hair out and got a great deal of length retained. Don't get me wrong I was not crazy, I co-washed (not because I knew anything about it but I knew I could not put poo in my hair everyday and rinsing with water was a weird concept then, so if I wet my hair in the shower something had to go in it and conditioner made the most sense.) and used aveda confixor and elixir to style. I shampoo and conditioned with Natures Gate Jojoba. It was that simple. I detangled with a wide tooth comb with seams. I just wonder how much further my hair would be if I knew what I know now.

 

[Southernbella.]

I think that it is just truly preference. Natural hair can be challenging to deal with at times especially when you are initially natural and learning your texture...so braids, weaves, and wigs are sometimes simply easier.

However, I think that if you have found the right products and build a solid regimen...then your natural hair becomes more predictable and easier to handle and thus style.

I wear my hair in either puff, twists, twistouts, or straight...all my natural hair except sometimes my puff is a phony because I like to baggy if my ends need extra moisture. To be honest...there are moments when I just dont want to "deal" with my natural hair....and braids seem tempting...but my scalp doesnt really like weave so I get over it and just put my hair in twists for a couple weeks.

I would just say dont be disillussioned about the amount of work that natural hair takes...but I do think it is worth it and you can wear your hair "out" consistently as a natural. As long as you moisturize daily and listen to what your hair needs/wants, you should be fine.

You have beautiful hair...I am positive that you will keep it well-styled and healthy as a natural.

Thank you! About the bolded, I think that's where I went wrong. I was thinking that I could do all these different styles, and since my hair would be natural, it would be healthy and it would grow and la dee da. But I started panicking when I read that thread and thought, ok, maybe there's more to it than that since so many people are hiding their hair.

Reading these posts is helping, though. I'm getting a better perspective on things.

 

[Sunshine_One]

See, I don't mind doing different styles. I may get bored, but I got bored with my relaxed hair too sometimes. I'm just hoping that I won't hurt my growth by not wearing protective styles. Your post gives me hope!

I"m glad. And to be honest you don't really have anything to worry about it seems like your transition is going great. But like others have said maintaing natural hair is diff than dealing with relaxed. I know you know this...but you don't really comprehend it (at least I didn't) until your there dealing with it on the daily. I was texlaxing for about 4-5 years and stretching my touch ups 3-4 months out before I decided to go completely natural. But once I crossed over it was still very different. But I have no regrets. I'm just impatiently waiting for it to hurry up and grow. Your hair is beautiful now and it will continue to be as you walk this new journey.

 

[Southernbella.]

Hey Lauren,

As a natural who was once relaxed, I can say that I feel somewhat limited to what I can do with my hair now because of length. I don't straighten my hair often, so pony puffs is what I wear most often. I don't wear a wash and go because my hair is not where I want it to be when I do wear it out. I have tried twistouts, and they were ok, but still I didn't like the way it looked because for me, its still not long enough yet. I try to do as much protective styles as I can because I want my hair to get to the length I want it to be. I don't do wigs and I have worn a phony pony before but the dh don't like it at all.

Thanks for your post, N&W. So your frustration has more to do with length? Maybe that's what it is for a lot of people, which is understandable. I guess it's good that I'm doing a long transition.

 

[angellazette]

I visit a lot of fotki albums to get ideas for new hairstyles and have them saved as friends. All of the ones I visit get good and steady growth. Lately I've been doing updos with my twists to change it up. Sometimes I add flat twists to the twists, I'll put the flat twists on the side, or in the back...next I'm going to put them in the front. I've yet to do box braids with my own hair but Mel has a pic in her fotki with box braids that she rollerset and it came out beautiful. When I do my hair, it's usually left alone for about a week and that's important for my hair. So yeah, I wear my own hair but I'm not messing with it everyday. Styles are plentiful. When my hair gets longer, I'm going to do strawsets. I tried it once but did not like it at my length but I do wear twistouts at this length!

 

[pattycake0701]

Thanks for your post, N&W. So your frustration has more to do with length? Maybe that's what it is for a lot of people, which is understandable. I guess it's good that I'm doing a long transition.

I agree with Nice & Wavy...My main issue is length. I want my hair to at least hang to my shoulders with a twist out and with my length, its not possible. I think once my hair finally reaches bra-strap, I'll be content with my hair and wear it out a lot more often.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Thanks for your post, N&W. So your frustration has more to do with length? Maybe that's what it is for a lot of people, which is understandable. I guess it's good that I'm doing a long transition.

Yes, its more frustration because of length. I just love longer hair. Some ladies may not mind their shrinkage, but I do.

My transition was 15 months and it still wasn't as long as I had hoped it would be. Now that I'm almost at one year (on Friday), I feel better but I think I will feel great at the 2 year mark.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

When I was natural I wore my hair in twists or in a afro puff ponytail. Looking back I wish I had been more creative. I wish I had worn it big and gorgeous with a had band, or tried flat twists or various styles of braids, etc. I will say this though, I LOVE LOVED LOVE wearing twists.
I got so many compliments it was ridiculous and my hair was much shorter at the time.

The thing I would recommend if you've not tried twists already, is to do them on dry hair and to twist them tightly, especially towards the end. IMO they look best when they kind of curl onto themselves and flip out in a funky style (not a crazy way though). Some ppl prefer them twisted looser so that they look more like braids and hang completely straight down.

There are also some websites (sorry I don't remember the names off hand) that have pictures of some really creative styles for natural hair. I find my options with straight hair a little more varied, but the styles that I did create with natural hair were a lot of fun and I loved playing with my kinks.

 

[mscocoface]

Girl, do what you want to do with your head and just watch how your hair responds.

Many of us have never had length either natural or relaxed so we are dealing with a goal of gaining length on top of having healthy hair. When you discover in the process you have serious shrinkage it can cause some additional issues and challenges.

Have fun with it, if it is growing while you have it out and transitioning then keep it up. If it is starting to break or your are notices little to no growth then follow some of the advice some of us have in our fotkis.

I learned that growing hair is kinda like being pregnant. Everyone will tell you what they had to do while being pregnant but in the end you have to follow what works for you in order to have a healthy baby. Well in this case it is to have natural healthy hair.

Look at what everyone has to say then let your hair tell you what it wants and needs.

Most importantly enjoy the journey because that is 99% of the battle.

So create a plan for your hair and work your plan for your hair, make it as simple or complex as your HAIR needs it to be!

 

[DeepBluSea]

I would just take it that those people are either not comfortable with wearing their natural hair out or are hiding their hair to gain length. If you travel to other hair boards (like NP, naturallycurly, or disapora), I think you will get a better idea of what people are doing. Sheer numbers that's all.

 

[bLackButtaFly]

You can definitely get growth w/out constantly protective styling. Hair grows. I went through the beginning of being natural always either wearing my hair out in wash and go's or in twistouts. Now I do more protective styling but that is #1 b/c I'm finally a length I can do a cute bun etc #2 I always wore protective styles when relaxed, adn I just like them #3 b/c my hair is at the length where it gets caught in jackets and clothin which makes my ends ratty, but I never use weaves, adn I've only had twists extenstions once this year, so it's more of a personal decision.

 

[CurliDiva]

I have a confession. I've been reading several natural threads, and I'm feeling a little discouraged. There was one thread about "How do you wear your hair everyday", and several people stated that they wear wigs or weaves. Others wear braids every day. It seemed like only a minority actually wear their hair out all the time(in various styles).

I guess I'm wondering if it's going to be harder than I thought. Don't get me wrong, I'm not changing my mind at all about going natural, but I just feel like maybe I have the wrong idea about natural hair.

Is there anyone who wears their hair out all the time? As a relaxed head, I never wore protective styles and I don't want to change that as a natural. I have nothing against wigs/weave/braids, but I don't want to wear those either.

So, am I crazy in thinking that I should be able to wear my hair out (whether it be straightened, a puff, twists, braid/twistouts, WNG's) all the time as a natural and still see growth?[/quote]

Hey Lauren450!

Please don't get discouraged!

Although I'm one of the wig wearers that you mentioned from that thread - there are tons of natural heads that wear their hair out - fros, buns, puffs, braid or twist outs!

Remeber some of us are using braids, weaves, or wigs as our protective style of choice, but again these styles are just a current choice not a MUST as a natural!

Keep up the great work!

 

[hrtbndr21]

I think if you're used to changing it up as a relaxed head you will continue to change up your styles when you are natural. I kept it pretty simple when I was relaxed ponytails, buns most of the time. The only time I wore my hair down constantly was when I cut it short couldn't pull it back so I had to do my hair every day. When it was longer I only wore my hair down if I was going out/special occasions.

I've been fully natural for about 11 months and I usually wear buns 5 out of 7 days. My main reason, I have hand in 'fro disease I keep playing with my hair resulting less length retention . On the weekends I let my hair out, pony puff or a big head band puff. Not the most creative but there aren't many naturals around so I can get away with it because it's different than most. I'm pretty lazy about hair styling but that's just me.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

if you look at the siggy, that is how I wear my hair 99% of the time. Ive heard storys about daily WNG wearers, but thank god my hair has yet to suffer.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

I agree with Nice & Wavy...My main issue is length. I want my hair to at least hang to my shoulders with a twist out and with my length, its not possible. I think once my hair finally reaches bra-strap, I'll be content with my hair and wear it out a lot more often.

Ive already come to accept that my hair will never "hang" past my shoulders its its curly state unless its wet (regardless of how long it gets).

 

[MissJ]

I haven't worn wigs, weaves or braids, but I've contemplated doing it. I find that it's hard to do my hair and make it look nice in just a short time unless it's already loose. I am style challenged, though. Usually, the best styles begin with a wet head, and I don't wash my hair every day. I've decided that I will start to wear straight styles sometimes. It will give my hair a break from knots, and I can see and show length. Still, I like being natural, because I know my hair is stronger than ever. I can get the relaxed look whenever I want.

 

[MissJ]

I've been fully natural for about 11 months and I usually wear buns 5 out of 7 days. My main reason, I have hand in 'fro disease I keep playing with my hair resulting less length retention .

I have that, too. I constantly have my left hand in my hair. As a result, it gets so many knots that I have to cut them out. My left side is shorter than my right. It's also thinner. I trimmed out all the knots. That would be my biggest reason for wearing a protective style. I'm protecting my natural hair from myself.

 

[glamazon386]

I have a confession. I've been reading several natural threads, and I'm feeling a little discouraged. There was one thread about "How do you wear your hair everyday", and several people stated that they wear wigs or weaves. Others wear braids every day. It seemed like only a minority actually wear their hair out all the time(in various styles).

I guess I'm wondering if it's going to be harder than I thought. Don't get me wrong, I'm not changing my mind at all about going natural, but I just feel like maybe I have the wrong idea about natural hair.

Is there anyone who wears their hair out all the time? As a relaxed head, I never wore protective styles and I don't want to change that as a natural. I have nothing against wigs/weave/braids, but I don't want to wear those either.

So, am I crazy in thinking that I should be able to wear my hair out (whether it be straightened, a puff, twists, braid/twistouts, WNG's) all the time as a natural and still see growth?

I think some people don't wear their hair out all the time because it causes more tangles. I just started wearing my hair out on a regular basis this summer but some days I still feel like wearing a wig. I had my hair out the past 3 days but today I have a wig on. I just didn't feel like combing hair this morning. When my hair gets longer and I can pull it back on its own then I'll wear it out the majority of the time. As long as you take care of your hair you can wear it out and retain length.

 

[Southernbella.]

Thank you ladies so much for your responses! I feel better already. I've been looking at some natural albums and I see lots of ladies who are retaining length and wearing their hair out constantly.

I actually saw a phony-pony bun that was very cute. I may have to rethink my stance on that...

if you look at the siggy, that is how I wear my hair 99% of the time. Ive heard storys about daily WNG wearers, but thank god my hair has yet to suffer.

That is so cute! The picture and the hair.

 

[chocolate01]

I wear my hair out 100% of the time. My hair is either straight, twists, or wash and go. I have never worn a wig or weave. If I wear braids it is usually cornrows and only for 2 weeks. I have been natural for two years and I just made to brastrap length so no I have not had any problems with growth.

 

[Ms Lala]

I RARELY wear weaves or wigs. I used them to transition and now I wear them when I want a change or if I don't feel like combing my hair.