4B's: Why did you go natural?

bedazzled

bedazzled

New Member
So I have alot of 4B in my hair & I noticed that my hair doesn't 'hold' relaxers very well. I'll relax on Monday & by next Monday it'll look like I need another relaxer. And people will tell me 'hair doesn't revert'..'yew have no clue what yew tawkin about'...but after one wash my hair looks like a press leaving no sign that it was even relaxed & even my friends will say "Omg girl didn't you just get a relaxer last week? OMG you need another one!" Even as a kid this is why my mother had me getting a relaxer every 3 weeks:burning: and I know So I am 6 months post & I decided to flat iron a piece of my hair & see how it looked flat ironed. My 4B new growth was slick plus It looks NO MORE different than it does when it does 1 week post relaxer/first wash. Sure it may lay a bit flatter but it got me thinkin like, why in the honkey dorey am i even bothering with a relaxer?

So my question is to all my 4b's..why did you decide to go natural?
 
Can I ask a question? Out of curiousity, what made you ask 4B's in particular? I understand you're a 4B, but do you believe that 4B's would have a different reason for going natural than other hair types? I'm not starting trouble, I'm genuinely asking.
 
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For the reasons you did. I had no clue that I was a 4b when I first BC'd. But, I did not like the relaxed look on me, and they never came out properly.
 
I went natural because all the heads of hair that made me drool were natural heads.
The Icing on the cake, was when I met up with an old friend from Highschool. she and I both grew up with badly damaged relaxed ear length hair our whole life.

But when I met her for dinner, I was awe struck by her hair, it was natural and down her back. That was all I needed to confirm my theory, MY hair would grow if I stopped relaxing it
 
They always had to leave the relaxer in my hair a little longer for it to take. When it finally did take, it came out very sleek and stayed like that. But it was destroying my hair slowly so I stopped relaxing to give my hair a "break"; I just never went back.
 
dang..and the sad part about LHCF is that you CANNOT edit thread title..good luck OP.
my hair type had nothing to do with going natural.:look: but to answer the question, i did it for the health of my hair
 
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Knowing what we know about hair categorization in the black community, I think this is a valid question. I don't see the value in refusing to discuss some of our hair issues head on, ignoring it doesn't erase them.
 
My hair is extremely thick and in order to get it straight from a relaxer they had to leave it on longer. Even after the extra time, my hair would still need to be flat-ironed and have a bunch of stuff done to it.

I got tired of the scabs and the dry scalp. The fact that my hair is 4B was never a deciding factor. I just wanted healthy hair and scalp. My hair was just as difficult, if not more, when I was relaxed as it is natural.
 
Esq.2B said:
Can I ask a question? Out of curiousity, what made you ask 4B's in particular? I understand you're a 4B, but do you believe that 4B's would have a different reason for going natural than other hair types? I'm not starting trouble, I'm genuinely asking.
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I don't know if they would have a different reason. That's why I am asking.

runwaydream said:
looks at title



ruh-roh....


let me go ahead and grab a seat ...
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MizzBrit said:
dang..and the sad part about LHCF is that you CANNOT edit thread title..good luck OP.
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What am I about to get cursed out? I don't get it.
 
I had your same issue---I would relax, wash it, and then it would look like I never got a relaxer! There was constant yapping about my nappy hair from my family. Now, I wish I had gone natural sooner.
Btw, I always think you are such a cute girl whenever I see your siggy!
 
berryblack said:
I had your same issue---I would relax, wash it, and then it would look like I never got a relaxer! There was constant yapping about my nappy hair from my family. Now, I wish I had gone natural sooner.
Btw, I always think you are such a cute girl whenever I see your siggy!
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OMG YES. I think it hurts my feelings more that I am relaxed and I get 'teased' because I'm 'nappy headed' and I cannot even enjoy the "luxuries" of being relaxed. I feel like if everyone's calling me nappy I might as well just go nappy. Natural hair is beautiful to me, and I cannot be faking the fizzle with this relaxed look. And thank you for the compliment. <3
 
I have never believed in the "good hair" "bad hair" mentality. Growing up I had long thick hair and over the course of my life I have always gotten compliments on my hair. So my hair type had nothing to do with my decision to go natural.

The first reason I decided to go natural was because I got sick of going to the salon for a relaxer. I moved to a new city 6 years ago and during this time I never really found anybody I trusted 100% to do my hair. I got sick of the incompetent ones, the poor customer service, and the attitudes. And I got sick of paying my money when I got crap service and bad attitudes. Self relaxing was out because of 2 major mishaps I had.

Plus, I was noticing that my hair is alot thinner than it used to be and my hair color had lightened. It used to be black but it had changed to a dark brown with red/lighter brown highlights that can be seen in the sun. I used to get compliments on my solid black hair.

So in order to get thicker hair, to get to know my natural hair texture, and to never have to go back to a hair salon I decided to transition.
 
Okay I just want to clarify that this thread isn't meant to offend anyone. When I relax my hair it doesn't look relaxed. So why should I keep relaxing it if I don't even get to have the 'luxuries' that a relaxed person is supposed to have? Thus, why not just go natural since i'm killing the health of my hair w/ all the extra tasks I must perform after I relax my hair to STILL get it/keep it straight? I'm not saying that you guys decided to go natural because of your hair type. I'm just wondering if some of the 4B ladies had similar experiences to mine. I cannot ask a 3C girl, about my 4B hair. I even sometimes cannot even ask a girl who is mostly 4a about my 4B hair. The best advice I receive from my hair ends up coming from a girl who has tons of 4B. Sure I have 3C & some 3A areas in my hair. But 75% of this hair on my scalp is 4B.

I don't understand why a girl thats 3C can ask other 3C girls what shampoo's, conditioners they use or ask about if their hair reverts after the first wash after a relaxer..and all the 3C's nod, chime in with no problem but if I ask a question about 4B its going to be a problem. Is this really going to be a problem?

 
My relaxed hair is really thin compared to my NG
Here is a comparison
07to09comp2-2.jpg
 
bedazzled said:
Okay I just want to clarify that this thread isn't meant to offend anyone. When I relax my hair it doesn't look relaxed. So why should I keep relaxing it if I don't even get to have the 'luxuries' that a relaxed person is supposed to have? Thus, why not just go natural since i'm killing the health of my hair w/ all the extra tasks I must perform after I relax my hair to STILL get it/keep it straight? I'm not saying that you guys decided to go natural because of your hair type. I'm just wondering if some of the 4B ladies had similar experiences to mine. I cannot ask a 3C girl, about my 4B hair. I even sometimes cannot even ask a girl who is mostly 4a about my 4B hair. The best advice I receive from my hair ends up coming from a girl who has tons of 4B. Sure I have 3C & some 3A areas in my hair. But 75% of this hair on my scalp is 4B.

I don't understand why a girl thats 3C can ask other 3C girls what shampoo's, conditioners they use or ask about if their hair reverts after the first wash after a relaxer..and all the 3C's nod, chime in with no problem but if I ask a question about 4B its going to be a problem. Is this really going to be a problem?
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I didn't really see the problem with your original post or even the thread title. But since there were some folk who did have a problem with it I just wanted to clarify that my hair type is not and never has been a problem for me and did not play a part in my decision to go natural.

I got the point of the thread and didn't take offense but felt I needed the extra explanation for the folks who seemed to feel there was potential for drama.
 
I didn't know about types when I went natural and my reason for doing it was because I had overprocessed hair by the time I discovered a stylist that knew how to do hair well. She made the suggestion that my hair looked bad because "some hair just can't take a relaxer". I knew she was wrong about my hair because she had only met me after my hair was damaged. So I transitioned so I could go back to her with my virgin hair and let her see how well my hair could handle relaxers.

I stayed natural, again texture notwithstanding, because I saw my hair grow longer than I'd ever known. As I understood how to handle it and learned more about hair, I got to see it like I'd never seen it before and simply fell in love.

Prior to my getting re-acquainted with my hair, I had always thought I had to do something to it to make it grow long. Hence part of the reason I got relaxers for 1/4 of my life (The other reason was just for a change of style). I was used to my natural hair just clueless on how to care for it. So once I got the skills for handling it with care and saw it grow long, I had no reason to relax anymore. The independence I enjoy not having to go to a stylist for touch-ups and the peace of not worrying about overlap are just the icing in the cake.
 
bedazzled said:
Okay I just want to clarify that this thread isn't meant to offend anyone. When I relax my hair it doesn't look relaxed. So why should I keep relaxing it if I don't even get to have the 'luxuries' that a relaxed person is supposed to have? Thus, why not just go natural since i'm killing the health of my hair w/ all the extra tasks I must perform after I relax my hair to STILL get it/keep it straight? I'm not saying that you guys decided to go natural because of your hair type. I'm just wondering if some of the 4B ladies had similar experiences to mine. I cannot ask a 3C girl, about my 4B hair. I even sometimes cannot even ask a girl who is mostly 4a about my 4B hair. The best advice I receive from my hair ends up coming from a girl who has tons of 4B. Sure I have 3C & some 3A areas in my hair. But 75% of this hair on my scalp is 4B.

I don't understand why a girl thats 3C can ask other 3C girls what shampoo's, conditioners they use or ask about if their hair reverts after the first wash after a relaxer..and all the 3C's nod, chime in with no problem but if I ask a question about 4B its going to be a problem. Is this really going to be a problem?
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ok thanks for the clarification.the way the post came off to me when i first read it was different that your clarification . but i was one of those girls who had relaxed hair and it did no justice touch up time..which is why i also went natural..plus the health of my hair did a whole 360..i also think natural hair looks better on me.best decision i ever made.i think my hair was resistant to relaxers.
 
i think this is a valid and good thread because all of our hair is different and should be discussed as such (in many cases). I'm 4b or beyond lol and i missed how thick my hair used to be so that is why I am transitioning as well. My hair never reverted or anything after the relaxer, but it sure was left on for a longer time than most ::burning::burning:

I'm relieved by the fact that I won't have to deal with the pain of a relaxer again as well...
 
bedazzled said:
I don't understand why a girl thats 3C can ask other 3C girls what shampoo's, conditioners they use or ask about if their hair reverts after the first wash after a relaxer..and all the 3C's nod, chime in with no problem but if I ask a question about 4B its going to be a problem. Is this really going to be a problem?
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I don't think there's a problem. This thread is odd to me because there's another thread exactly like it excluding the 4Bs part. I know it probably would've took looking through to find someone's avi/siggy to see if their hair is 4b, but they would've been in there too. Maybe, if the thread was titled "Did relaxers not work for anyone else?", it wouldn't seem odd.
 
PerplexingComplex said:
I don't think there's a problem. This thread is odd to me because there's another thread exactly like it excluding the 4Bs part. I know it probably would've took looking through to find someone's avi/siggy to see if their hair is 4b, but they would've been in there too. Maybe, if the thread was titled "Did relaxers not work for anyone else?", it wouldn't seem odd.
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:giggle:
i love this place
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I'm mostly 4b and I thought about going natural for the same reasons in your OP. I planned on becoming a heat straightened natural because relaxers were absolutely worthless on my hair.

My mind changed though once I found NP and I decided to become a nappy natural.

Good thread.
 
Bedazzled, u are fortunate that you have the knowledge of hair typing to be able to post the thread.

When I went natural, it was only because my stylist took too long on my 30th birthday and made me late to my own party. 4 months later, I cut the relaxer out of my hair and joined the nappturality site. About a year after that I found LHCF and became texlaxed.

I definately like the threads for 4b's cuz we got something in common. Don't be discouraged and keep posting and starting threads!!!!
 
PerplexingComplex said:
I don't think there's a problem. This thread is odd to me because there's another thread exactly like it excluding the 4Bs part. I know it probably would've took looking through to find someone's avi/siggy to see if their hair is 4b, but they would've been in there too. Maybe, if the thread was titled "Did relaxers not work for anyone else?", it wouldn't seem odd.
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Maybe. But the thread wasn't just about did relaxers not work for anyone else. I wanted to know peoples reasons even if it had nothing to do with mine. And my friends with 3C don't seem to have the same problems that I have so I directed it to 4Bs. Since I've included new information, perhaps you can suggest me another thread title that is more suiting and next time I'll do better.
 
I went natural because I never knew how to take care of my relaxed hair and got tired of seeing little broken hairs in the sink....plus it always looked so thin.
I'm sure I could maintain relaxed hair now, with everything I've learned or could search for here, but my hair is longer now than it's ever been, so I'm going to stick with what I know.
 
OMG I wish I could quote all of you since all of you are really motivating. I am currently doing a 2 year stretch (with that hot mama aggie) so I can give my hair a break and by then I plan on making the final decision to relax or not. Thank you ladies so much! All of you are wonderful!
MizzBrit said:
ok thanks for the clarification.the way the post came off to me when i first read it was different that your clarification . but i was one of those girls who had relaxed hair and it did no justice touch up time..which is why i also went natural..plus the health of my hair did a whole 360..i also think natural hair looks better on me.best decision i ever made.i think my hair was resistant to relaxers.
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Well your hair is gorgeous. I really want to squeeze your cute puff. And I'm glad the health of your hair did a 180*. I am hoping my hair won't be as dry if I remove the relaxer out of the equation for sure.

music-bnatural-smile said:
i love this place
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me too.
 
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URGH! I just typed a freaking essay in response to the original post, hit something on my keyboard, and now it's gone. :wallbash:

Okay, here's the shortened version. . .

The first time I went natural was because my hair was all damaged from permanent hair dye and relaxer. This second time I went natural was because sensitive scalps and resistant hair don't go well together. What's the use of getting burnt up, scabbed up scalp if you don't even get straight hair out of it. I was so underprocessed, it was tragic. I also missed my coils, my fluffy twist outs, and not having to worry about rain. Even when I was relaxed, both times, I liked touching my new growth.
 
i just noticed i put 360..that would put me back right where i started:lachen:. But as far as dryness. there are plenty of ways to combat that..the key is research and what better place to start than right here on LHCF..and maybe trial and error with products to find out what your hair agrees to.i know after going natural my hair hated any kind of commercial product..it loved natural things like shea butter,oils,glycerin,water,etc. staying away from SLS drying shampoos too.there is a baking soda alternative done by some naturals.also. deep conditioning is VITAL to keeping your hair hydrated unless you co wash alot...which your hair will more than likely LOVE.
and thanks for the hair compliment!
 
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