2013 Relaxed Hair Buddy Thread

[Cattypus1]

I didn't get a buddy but I would like to ask for opinions.

I like my stylist, but since I have been on my HHJ (July 2012) there are some things that I do not like now:

1. combing my wet hair with a rattail comb.
2. putting relaxer on my edges early in the process
3. scrubbing my hair instead of shampooing (I know that she is trying to assure that all of the relaxer is out, but really?)
4. no conditioning, of any kind, before or after neutralizing
5. setting lotion, I hate setting lotion- my hair does fine with just my leave-in/seal and water for a roller set.
6. COMBING THE RELAXER THROUGH MY NEW GROWTH

Are these reasons worth me becoming a self relaxer? (I have been researching and practicing techniques and timing when I do my pre poo)

Or should I have a talk with her? (I've tried this with another stylist. It did not go over very well. I am quite sensitive with these types of things and I swore not to do that again.)

The decision to SR should not be undertaken without thorough consideration. All of the above would be enough for me to at least have a frank discussion with her. Stylists get set in their ways and use the same products and same techniques on all of their customers. I have been a SR for many years and have made some mistakes along the way, but not for lack of trying. I had one stylist years ago who allowed me to roller set my own hair because I hated the way her sets came out on me and actually had to show her. She would relax, neutralize, condition, rinse and then hand me the comb...I think she believed that I would jack it up. Afterwards, she actually started setting my hair differently. I became a SR mostly because I hate beauty shops and the assembly line wait. I hated trying out new stylists...they can jack you up like nobody's business. I'm a multi-tasker and I'm impatient. Trust me, I didn't get it all right the first time nor did I get it all wrong. One thing for certain, my stylist is ALWAYS trying to do what is best for my crowning glory. Good luck.

 

[hnntrr]

I didn't get a buddy but I would like to ask for opinions.

I like my stylist, but since I have been on my HHJ (July 2012) there are some things that I do not like now:

1. combing my wet hair with a rattail comb.
2. putting relaxer on my edges early in the process
3. scrubbing my hair instead of shampooing (I know that she is trying to assure that all of the relaxer is out, but really?)
4. no conditioning, of any kind, before or after neutralizing
5. setting lotion, I hate setting lotion- my hair does fine with just my leave-in/seal and water for a roller set.
6. COMBING THE RELAXER THROUGH MY NEW GROWTH

Are these reasons worth me becoming a self relaxer? (I have been researching and practicing techniques and timing when I do my pre poo)

Or should I have a talk with her? (I've tried this with another stylist. It did not go over very well. I am quite sensitive with these types of things and I swore not to do that again.)

If talking to your stylist doesnt work, try self relaxing. Then you have full control over what happens with your relaxer process. All of that sounds scary and extremely painful. I had that done to me once, never went back to my stylist. Thankfully my mom has been gracious enough to do my relaxers for me, but I think I am going to start self relaxing too.

 

[KiWiStyle]

Are you sure it's really "moisturizing"? Maybe it's really protein in disguise. Do you know what it is she uses, perhaps you could get a list of ingredients to compare. I know I used the Optimum step 3, I think because it came after step 2 for years without the first clue as to why. It wasn't until I discovered LHCF that I even had a clue. I'd be willing to bet that there's some protein involved since your hair has been doing well with her. What kind of relaxer does she use?

Cattypus1 I'm certain it's moisturizing conditioner because she told me when we discussed it. She always tell me what she put in my hair. She believes the relaxer process robs the hair of moisture and so it's important to replenish it while the cuticle is open, the same logic we have for protein. I don't remember the moisturizing conditioner product name(problem nairobi) but she uses the Nairobi Pamper Relaxer system and I love it!

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[hnntrr]

Almost 3 weeks post. 10 more weeks to go! (extended my goal to 13 weeks, Dec 22 - March 17th)

 

[Mande30]

The decision to SR should not be undertaken without thorough consideration. All of the above would be enough for me to at least have a frank discussion with her. Stylists get set in their ways and use the same products and same techniques on all of their customers. I have been a SR for many years and have made some mistakes along the way, but not for lack of trying. I had one stylist years ago who allowed me to roller set my own hair because I hated the way her sets came out on me and actually had to show her. She would relax, neutralize, condition, rinse and then hand me the comb...I think she believed that I would jack it up. Afterwards, she actually started setting my hair differently. I became a SR mostly because I hate beauty shops and the assembly line wait. I hated trying out new stylists...they can jack you up like nobody's business. I'm a multi-tasker and I'm impatient. Trust me, I didn't get it all right the first time nor did I get it all wrong. One thing for certain, my stylist is ALWAYS trying to do what is best for my crowning glory. Good luck.

If talking to your stylist doesnt work, try self relaxing. Then you have full control over what happens with your relaxer process. All of that sounds scary and extremely painful. I had that done to me once, never went back to my stylist. Thankfully my mom has been gracious enough to do my relaxers for me, but I think I am going to start self relaxing too.

Thank you all for the responses. I just wanted to make sure that I was not overreacting. I will continue to practice and research self relaxing. I have 8 weeks before touch up time and to make a decision to do it myself or have the talk. I had considered buying a seamless comb and a relaxer system and asking her to use that. But I am paying over $80.00. I shouldn't have to bring all of the products. Thank you again.

 

[lamaria211]

lamaria211

hey! i will be 8 weeks this saturday. i will be relaxing in 4 weeks too if my hair can make it.
i don't have a lot of shedding and i try to keep breakage to bare minimum. i plan on using a no-lye relaxer. CON argan relaxer, did the job, but i want to see what else is out there. i used my Mizani night time treatment yesterday just because. i use CON argan leave-in to moisturize and Cantu leave-in (jar) too.

i think i will do another protein treatment next week. i did one last week. i don't think i will be cowashing anymore. i know that really doesn't do it for me anyway. shampooing helps me out and allows conditioner to penetrate better. i don't get a coated feeling.

i am trying to focus more on moisturizing my new growth.

i know once i have the baby, hair won't really be on my mind. i will be recovering. i am trying to figure out what type of protective style will get my through my c-section and recovery. i thought about just getting my hair cornrowed with some extensions, but last time i did that, i looked like one of the cast members from Set It Off.

i am thinking of yarn braids. i wonder if they are drying?

Corn braids are a great choice, keep them short cause they'll hang in the baby's face when your cooing and cuddling!

 

[Guinan]

I didn't get a buddy but I would like to ask for opinions.

I like my stylist, but since I have been on my HHJ (July 2012) there are some things that I do not like now:

1. combing my wet hair with a rattail comb.
2. putting relaxer on my edges early in the process
3. scrubbing my hair instead of shampooing (I know that she is trying to assure that all of the relaxer is out, but really?)
4. no conditioning, of any kind, before or after neutralizing
5. setting lotion, I hate setting lotion- my hair does fine with just my leave-in/seal and water for a roller set.
6. COMBING THE RELAXER THROUGH MY NEW GROWTH

Are these reasons worth me becoming a self relaxer? (I have been researching and practicing techniques and timing when I do my pre poo)

Or should I have a talk with her? (I've tried this with another stylist. It did not go over very well. I am quite sensitive with these types of things and I swore not to do that again.)

I just self relaxed for the 1st time ever last weekend. I would normally go to the hair salon but everything that u described is exactly why I self relax. As far as my experience in my 1st time self relaxing, it wasn't that bad. I did the half & half method, which I'm glad I did cause it gave me the opportunity to correct some things. Its a good idea that ur practicing, I did the same thing. What helped me with self relaxing was research & watching lots of youtube. Two ytubers I really like is jenchris23 & shorty2sweet59. I also switched relaxers and switched from no lye to lye. I also wrote down all the steps I was going to do when relaxing & posted my steps on the relaxed hair thread. The other ladies helped me tweak sum things like adding protein after relaxing. Do u know what steps ur taking for ur relaxer? Have u tried the sprush brush? I really like using the sprush, I didn't have to smooth w/ a comb b/c of the sprush. I did make sum mistakes, like my right side is not as straight as my left side, but overall I am very proud of myself for self relaxing & happy with the results.

Good luck with ur decision!

Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch Q using LHCF

 

[Rozlewis]

divachyk, I was planning to touch up the weekend of my birthday (1/27) but I was actually counting my 12 weeks wrong. I am due to TU on 2/8/13. I think I will hold out until then. I am hanging in there with a twist out that is now up in a bun.

 

[Cattypus1]

Thank you all for the responses. I just wanted to make sure that I was not overreacting. I will continue to practice and research self relaxing. I have 8 weeks before touch up time and to make a decision to do it myself or have the talk. I had considered buying a seamless comb and a relaxer system and asking her to use that. But I am paying over $80.00. I shouldn't have to bring all of the products. Thank you again.

$80!!! It's been so long since I've been to the shop to get a touch up...I never paid more than half that, tip included. God I'm old. LOL. There isn't anything on this earth I would pay someone $80 for but if I was going to do it they would d@mn sure do what I asked and be very nice about it. Take your power lady, you're paying her!

 

[Toy]

Rozlewis,don't be trying to leave me now lol.we are going to make it to 12 wks.

 

[KiWiStyle]

Hey buddy Cattypus1. I think my house is killing my hair. Ok, so I believe I've got a handle on my shedding with the garlic extract but I'm still noticing small broken pieces, a month or so ago this was rare. I could be my last henna, I kept it in longer than usual plus my house has been super dry. I m&s and sealed as usual bus decided to dampen my ends and applied JBCO and will baggy over night. Hopefully this will help because crunchy ends terrify me. I think I should CW mid week every week until my relaxer.,

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[Ms. Tiki]

@Ms. Tiki, I'm delaying my TU by one week. Life just got way too busy and I can't get to the salon this week. Maybe next week....if my hair is doing good, I'll keep delaying it by a week until I simply can't take it.

@Rozlewis, I know you and I traded TU details. Are you still holding out to closer to your bday? Forgive me if you've shared this upthread but I haven't been logging on as regularly so I'm behind the power curve.

divachyk I can understand that. I'm glad you are not touching up. hehe I'm still working on moisture and I'm braided up and wigging right now. Sound like we will be hanging in there and stretching together after all.

 

[KiWiStyle]

I finally got my relaxer appointment confirmation! I'll be 12w6d when I relax, two weeks from tomorrow. I plan to up my moisture levels over the next two weeks and figure out why my ends aren't staying moisturized. I wonder if the setting lotion and serums are the problem because I didn't have this problem before I started roller setting. I'm going to cleanse tonight with WEN 613, air dry and m&s with my regular products; DB Daily Leave-In, QB Cocoa Tree Detangling Ghee and a natural oil. Hopefully this will make a difference .

 

[Mande30]

I just self relaxed for the 1st time ever last weekend. I would normally go to the hair salon but everything that u described is exactly why I self relax. As far as my experience in my 1st time self relaxing, it wasn't that bad. I did the half & half method, which I'm glad I did cause it gave me the opportunity to correct some things. Its a good idea that ur practicing, I did the same thing. What helped me with self relaxing was research & watching lots of youtube. Two ytubers I really like is jenchris23 & shorty2sweet59. I also switched relaxers and switched from no lye to lye. I also wrote down all the steps I was going to do when relaxing & posted my steps on the relaxed hair thread. The other ladies helped me tweak sum things like adding protein after relaxing. Do u know what steps ur taking for ur relaxer? Have u tried the sprush brush? I really like using the sprush, I didn't have to smooth w/ a comb b/c of the sprush. I did make sum mistakes, like my right side is not as straight as my left side, but overall I am very proud of myself for self relaxing & happy with the results.

Good luck with ur decision!

Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch Q using LHCF

pelohello Thank you for that.

1. I practiced about four times with the Sprush, but I can feel that it scratched my scalp. I am afraid of burning (very sensitive scalp) so I have started practicing with the back of a comb or a flat spatula. I practice once during the prepoo and then again when applying my DC to my newgrowth/roots.

2. My plan:
-position my mirrors so I can see the back
-base my scalp with a mixture of coconut oil/hot six oil (also do this all week)
-pre section hair into 4 sections. Then section each quarter into 1/2 inch rows and apply conditioner and grease to previously relaxed hair and twist each 1/2 section.
-proceede to relax w/ Mizani Butter Blend Sesitive Scalp or Design Essentials Sesitive Scalp (my scalp can't handle lye relaxers by any means)
-rinse in the shower (using a poncho for my back, thanks to sunnieb's fotki)
-apply mild protein for 2-3 minutes
-rinse and apply ORS Creamy Aloe (Chelator for the no lye) let sit for 2 minutes/repeat
-neutralize with Mizani Butter Blend Sensitive Scalp Neutralizing Shampoo (has a pink color indicator)- as many times as necessary
-apply Deep Conditioner for 30 minutes under dryer.

Please correct me where I am wrong.

 

[Guinan]

Loving & nickpoopie, hiya relaxer buddies!!

How y'all maintaining after yalls relaxers? Any breakage or shedding issues? For me, its been pretty good. No breakage & extrememly minimal shedding. Since I'm wearing my hair straight, I've been limiting my M&S, to avoid product buildup.

Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch Q using LHCF

 

[Mande30]

$80!!! It's been so long since I've been to the shop to get a touch up...I never paid more than half that, tip included. God I'm old. LOL. There isn't anything on this earth I would pay someone $80 for but if I was going to do it they would d@mn sure do what I asked and be very nice about it. Take your power lady, you're paying her!

Cattypus1 Yes, yes, yes, I pay $85.00, which includes the tip. A few years ago I was paying $95.00 (not including the tip). But this man would block off 2.5 hours for each of his clients. I was usually the only one in the salon. And I am also OLD . When I started getting relaxers, $30.00 was considered robbery and tipping your stylist was not common at all, really not heard of. After paying all of this money, I have come to the conclusion that I can do this myself. Everyone is always saying that you should go to the professionals for any chemical treatments. But what if all of the professionals are jacking your hair up?

 

[Guinan]

@pelohello Thank you for that.

1. I practiced about four times with the Sprush, but I can feel that it scratched my scalp. I am afraid of burning (very sensitive scalp) so I have started practicing with the back of a comb or a flat spatula. I practice once during the prepoo and then again when applying my DC to my newgrowth/roots.

2. My plan:
-position my mirrors so I can see the back
-base my scalp with a mixture of coconut oil/hot six oil (also do this all week)
-pre section hair into 4 sections. Then section each quarter into 1/2 inch rows and apply conditioner and grease to previously relaxed hair and twist each 1/2 section.
-proceede to relax w/ Mizani Butter Blend Sesitive Scalp or Design Essentials Sesitive Scalp (my scalp can't handle lye relaxers by any means)
-rinse in the shower (using a poncho for my back, thanks to sunnieb's fotki)
-apply mild protein for 2-3 minutes
-rinse and apply ORS Creamy Aloe (Chelator for the no lye) let sit for 2 minutes/repeat
-neutralize with Mizani Butter Blend Sensitive Scalp Neutralizing Shampoo (has a pink color indicator)- as many times as necessary
-apply Deep Conditioner for 30 minutes under dryer.

Please correct me where I am wrong.

Looks good. I like the idea of using a poncho when washing out the relaxer. I will def add that to my relaxer reggie. I use Mizani's chelating and neutralizing shampoo too! I like that it has a color indicator.

 

[Loving]

@Loving & @nickpoopie, hiya relaxer buddies!!

How y'all maintaining after yalls relaxers? Any breakage or shedding issues? For me, its been pretty good. No breakage & extrememly minimal shedding. Since I'm wearing my hair straight, I've been limiting my M&S, to avoid product buildup.

Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch Q using LHCF

pelohello I'm doing great! No issues at all!

 

[Babygrowth]

pelohello Thank you for that.

1. I practiced about four times with the Sprush, but I can feel that it scratched my scalp. I am afraid of burning (very sensitive scalp) so I have started practicing with the back of a comb or a flat spatula. I practice once during the prepoo and then again when applying my DC to my newgrowth/roots.

2. My plan:
-position my mirrors so I can see the back
-base my scalp with a mixture of coconut oil/hot six oil (also do this all week)
-pre section hair into 4 sections. Then section each quarter into 1/2 inch rows and apply conditioner and grease to previously relaxed hair and twist each 1/2 section.
-proceede to relax w/ Mizani Butter Blend Sesitive Scalp or Design Essentials Sesitive Scalp (my scalp can't handle lye relaxers by any means)
-rinse in the shower (using a poncho for my back, thanks to sunnieb's fotki)
-apply mild protein for 2-3 minutes
-rinse and apply ORS Creamy Aloe (Chelator for the no lye) let sit for 2 minutes/repeat
-neutralize with Mizani Butter Blend Sensitive Scalp Neutralizing Shampoo (has a pink color indicator)- as many times as necessary
-apply Deep Conditioner for 30 minutes under dryer.

Please correct me where I am wrong.

If your scalp is really sensitive I recommend either summit scalp base or my favorite ORS scalp base. It has this cooling affect and I never burned. I based my scalp the night before and the morning of just to be safe...

 

[Mande30]

If your scalp is really sensitive I recommend either summit scalp base or my favorite ORS scalp base. It has this cooling affect and I never burned. I based my scalp the night before and the morning of just to be safe...

Babygrowth Thanks. I will try one of the products that you mentioned.

 

[Mande30]

I am still waiting for a buddy to adopt me

My abbreviated stats:
-4 weeks into a 12 week stretch
-almost 98% sure that I will be a beginning self-relaxer

 

[mschristine]

I am still waiting for a buddy to adopt me

My abbreviated stats:
-4 weeks into a 12 week stretch
-almost 98% sure that I will be a beginning self-relaxer

You can join me and my other two buddies! The more the merrier

 

[Kim0105]

Hey all. I went ahead and relaxed last week. Well my mom applied the relaxed. Relaxed with Mizani Butter Blends sensitive scalp no lye. After rinsing I applied Aphoghee 2 minute then did what felt like a million washes to get the relaxed out. I did a deep condition with Silk Dreams Vanilla Silk, used the Wheat Germ conditioner from Silk Dreams as a leave in and sealed with grapeseed oil.

Since it was virgin hair I'm gonna have to do a corrective on the top on the ends- the back is ok. May do that at the 4 week mark. My plan is to relax every 12 weeks but I will definitely be watching to see what my hair does.

 

[Cattypus1]

Cattypus1 I'm certain it's moisturizing conditioner because she told me when we discussed it. She always tell me what she put in my hair. She believes the relaxer process robs the hair of moisture and so it's important to replenish it while the cuticle is open, the same logic we have for protein. I don't remember the moisturizing conditioner product name(problem nairobi) but she uses the Nairobi Pamper Relaxer system and I love it!

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

I've only ever used Optimum and Mizani. I've never seen the Nairobi...LOL, you could write volumes on the things I've never seen. I'll have to research the Nairobi...might be worth a try.

 

[Cattypus1]

Hey buddy Cattypus1. I think my house is killing my hair. Ok, so I believe I've got a handle on my shedding with the garlic extract but I'm still noticing small broken pieces, a month or so ago this was rare. I could be my last henna, I kept it in longer than usual plus my house has been super dry. I m&s and sealed as usual bus decided to dampen my ends and applied JBCO and will baggy over night. Hopefully this will help because crunchy ends terrify me. I think I should CW mid week every week until my relaxer.,

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

Nooooooo...not the killer house! I'm with you on the terrifying crunchy ends. How are you styling daily? If you're wearing your hair down maybe your clothes are stealing moisture from your ends. Henna is supposed to be good for your hair. Did the breakage start right after your henna? CW is never a bad thing, what are using?

 

[KiWiStyle]

I've only ever used Optimum and Mizani. I've never seen the Nairobi...LOL, you could write volumes on the things I've never seen. I'll have to research the Nairobi...might be worth a try.

There isn't much info or reviews on the net because its sold to professionals only. You may find it on Amazon.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[KiWiStyle]

Nooooooo...not the killer house! I'm with you on the terrifying crunchy ends. How are you styling daily? If you're wearing your hair down maybe your clothes are stealing moisture from your ends. Henna is supposed to be good for your hair. Did the breakage start right after your henna? CW is never a bad thing, what are using?

Yes girl, the killer house, lol! For the past month I've been rollersetting and then hiding my ends after a day or two. It could be that I flat ironed more in the last 4-6 weeks than I have all year but I was careful to DC before and used a heat protector. Now I did notice the drying after the henna but I've never had drying before after my henndigo. My hair is fine, it's just my ends, it's strange. I baggied my ends all day today and will use roux porosity control shampoo and conditioner, DC overnight and avoid cones of any type in my moisturizer and sealer. JBCO will be my oil of choice, gotta bring out the big dogs, lol!

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[Guinan]

Hey all. I went ahead and relaxed last week. Well my mom applied the relaxed. Relaxed with Mizani Butter Blends sensitive scalp no lye. After rinsing I applied Aphoghee 2 minute then did what felt like a million washes to get the relaxed out. I did a deep condition with Silk Dreams Vanilla Silk, used the Wheat Germ conditioner from Silk Dreams as a leave in and sealed with grapeseed oil.

Since it was virgin hair I'm gonna have to do a corrective on the top on the ends- the back is ok. May do that at the 4 week mark. My plan is to relax every 12 weeks but I will definitely be watching to see what my hair does.

Any pics

Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch Q using LHCF

 

[Brwnbeauti]

CafedeBelleza
Well I wash weekly with CON moisturizing shampoo. Lately I have been doing an overnight prepoo with Claudies Mumuru butter and BB's growth oil.
Then I dc, either with CON Argan treatment, Matrix hydrating balm or Motions Moisture Plus (tub)
I use Lacio Lacio as my leave in
Then I wet bun, rollerset, airdry and flatiron then wrap, or airdry and curl with a curling iron....
I want to get braids or twists so bad but they are so expensive here. To give my hair a rest.
Right now I am about 3 inches from BSL but my sides are playing catch up with the back so I have a v.

CON is cream of nature? Is this the longest your hair has ever been?

 

[Mande30]

You can join me and my other two buddies! The more the merrier

mschristine Thank you for accepting me into the family!!!