10 year age gap PLEASE READ

[preciouslove0x]

My roommate who is 21 is interested in dating someone age 30 (turns 31 in december). She wants to know if any of you ladies have been in a relationship with someone 10 years older. How did you meet? How did the relationship turn out? What did your family think? Did you get married?

TIA

 

[*SkolarStar*]

I havent but I have a friend who is married to someone 10 years older than her. They met at work and are as happy as can be. Her mom was upset about it at first because she was worried that he was just using her. But when he put a ring on her finger after 2 years of dating she shut right on up. Btw, she got married at 20. She's 22 now.

 

[SmileyNY]

I like dating guys about 10 years older. I'm in my late 20's. Guys in their late 30's tend to have lived enough to have figured out that the "bachelor life" is actually quite boring & unfulfilling. They are usually more mature, have their own place & aren't into playing games. This is obviously a generalization & doesn't always apply to all. (Ironically, the guy I'm currently dating is only 1 year older than I am & he's great... Go figure, lol.)

However, I think it's a little different for a girl in her early 20s. I think it's really important for a woman to come into her own & get to know herself before getting too serious with a guy. Live on her own. Pay her own bills. Become thoroughly rooted in & aware of her own feelings.

A guy 10 years older than a woman who hasn't come into her own and doesn't know exactly who she is could have too much influence & control over the way she develops and matures.

If she's looking to date & have a good time. Great. Have fun. If she's looking for a long term relationship, I think she'd be better off with a guy closer to her age.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[Softerlove]

Let her know Age doesn't equal maturity....or that he will be different than men her age

 

[Kindheart]

31 aint old!!gasp! I ve dated 2 men 12/15 years older than me,one was great the other one childish,i think a +30 man intersted in a 20 year old either wants only sex or he s too immature to date women his same age.i know a 45 y.o eho dates 18-29 He s soo childish

 

[ladysaraii]

If my 21 year old brought home a 31 year old man, I'd have her father have a talk with him. A very pointed conversation. I, like other ladies, think that he is either 1)looking for sex 2) looking to control someone or 3) immature.

 

[SummerSolstice]

21 and 31 is very different from 25 and 35.

 

[ArrrBeee]

Chronological age does not equal wisdom and maturity. She should take it really slow.

 

[manter26]

My bff's both married men 10+ years older. One relationship was over after 1 or 2 years. He had her transfer colleges and work full time because he's an artist. Years later, she's still trying to get her education back on track. She also thought his sex drive was too low for her tastes. I side-eyed the relationship from the start. She was 18 and he was 30ish and her boss at work.

The other friend still married and I think they definitely have their age related issues. He's a lawyer and since he has a career he wants them to go where his work is. She hasn't had a chance to do what she wants to do in life...travel, get her master's etc... They met when she was teaching adult English classes, he was her student.

Twenty is too young to be cooped up with some 30 something year old. But then again the past 3-4 years, I've dated 21 & 22 yo So I'm not much better myself. But obviously, I don't intend for those relationships to go anywhere.

 

[Theo]

Hmm... I guess it differs. I'm 24, one of the guys I'm dating is about 10 yrs older. Mentally/emotionally though, I'm honestly like around 26. He's a nice guy, I guess the nice thing about older men is that they're past the whole running game stage? He treats me really well, he can be a little paternalistic sometimes. I just appreciate how mature he is.... in a lot of my relationships I end up being the more mature one, even though I'm pretty much always younger in age. Its just nice to be able to push that responsibility on to someone else

 

[Maynard]

Been there, done that---bought the tshirt

Not worth it, unless dude is LOADED.

 

[RegaLady]

My roommate who is 21 is interested in dating someone age 30 (turns 31 in december). She wants to know if any of you ladies have been in a relationship with someone 10 years older. How did you meet? How did the relationship turn out? What did your family think? Did you get married?

TIA

Dh is 10 years older than me and my mother married my father who was 12 years older than her. We met at work. I was 19 he was 29. We are still married. My family didn't think much about it considering my parents also have a big age gap. I have no regrets marrying someone with a 10 plus age gap, but I will say that a younger lady must be mentally and emotionally equipped to handle an older man. Some of them are immature, but they have been in the "game" longer and know what to do and say to get the results they want, lol. Your roommate must be on her p's and q's which is what you are suppose to do in any age relationship.
I will say, she must know herself, because older men will try to 'mold' you to be what they want. Make no mistake about this.

 

[Keen]

It really depends on the individuals. I'd tell her to try it and see if she likes it.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

31 ain't old!

BUT, if he's mature and she's mature it may work out. Its not like she is marrying him! And being (hopefully) more established, he's in a better place than a 21 year old to take her on trips and do some fun things. She should date him and see. Many women date much older men and find MUCh happiness. Now if he was say 41+, its not old eith but...THAT's a bigger difference.

Its also his expectations. Does he want her to act like some boring housewife? Then no matter what age he is that is a big NO. But he's like lets have fun/enjoy life but be serious and mature, then what's wrong with that? My DH is only a year and a half oder than me and he has his OLD MAN moments. Age IS a number. But mentality & maturity is the deal breaker.