ANGRY RANT: Inappropriate Comments about my hair at Work !!

[NikkiGirl]

That is very rude and I would have politely let him know that his comments are inappropriate.

 

[Taina]

I would say : "Gezz i believe i did bought it, sorry if i took yours. Do you need it now?"

I would love to see the look in his face xD

 

[BrooklynSouth]

I love the supply of retorts here should I need one in future. I've been accused of weave with one of my wigs..I laughed it off then lifted the wig{it's a wig..so big deal} so the rude one who is constantly weaved up with bad textures and colors could see...no pretense, no shame....she had nothing to say after the lift.

 

[Gibsongal]

That was so rude and I'm PO'd for you. This has happened to me too and it makes me so mad to think that ppl can just come up to you and say anything. Just anything. It's atrocious! We need to come up with some equally disparaging questions or comments to stop them in their tracks and think twice the next time they want to comment our hair.

 

[songbyrd517]

I am so sorry you experienced that. How rude. Sometimes people forget to think before they speak

 

[girlyprincess23]

Just rude. And THAT is classless. I wonder if people know when they are trying to be cute they are usually just being crass and making theirselves look ignorant. People should really take some etiquette or decorum classes. I swear some people!!

 

[Gibsongal]

I work with a team of all men. There's 8 of us. Well one day this guy walks in and before he says hello he asks of my curly half wig is all my hair! You could hear a pin drop in the room! I was livid! I'm not good and being put on the spot like this because I bite back so I asked him, "did u just ask me what I THINK you asked me?!" He started turning really red & could tell he put his foot in his mouth. Then I said, "you are making me feel real uncomfortable." Then I just gave him the look. All the other guys started to look around like they couldn't believe what was happening. No man wants to be in a room with a woman when she starts talking about how she's uncomfortable and the only black woman. So dude trys to clean it up talking about how he was thinking about getting a weave himself. I just went back to working on my computer.
A few days later I am wearing a straight BSL half wig & in the break room he starts asking what I use to get my hair so shiney cause it looks a little "to perfect" as he put it. I rambled off my reggie & told him I know of some stuff that will take care of his balding issue. OMG is that silence I hear?! I did a hair flip and left the room.

OMG Yes! That's what I'm talking about!

 

[Clink]

What a tactless thing to say in any situation. Some people just have no restraint.

What does "YT" mean, btw?

 

[PhonyBaloney500]

I work with a team of all men. There's 8 of us. Well one day this guy walks in and before he says hello he asks of my curly half wig is all my hair! You could hear a pin drop in the room! I was livid! I'm not good and being put on the spot like this because I bite back so I asked him, "did u just ask me what I THINK you asked me?!" He started turning really red & could tell he put his foot in his mouth. Then I said, "you are making me feel real uncomfortable." Then I just gave him the look. All the other guys started to look around like they couldn't believe what was happening. No man wants to be in a room with a woman when she starts talking about how she's uncomfortable and the only black woman. So dude trys to clean it up talking about how he was thinking about getting a weave himself. I just went back to working on my computer.
A few days later I am wearing a straight BSL half wig & in the break room he starts asking what I use to get my hair so shiney cause it looks a little "to perfect" as he put it. I rambled off my reggie & told him I know of some stuff that will take care of his balding issue. OMG is that silence I hear?! I did a hair flip and left the room.

Wow he was really determined huh? erplexed

Strange obsession....

 

[SEMO]

You know people are so silly. Whether it is a wig or your hair, it is NEVER polite to make such comments to someone. I really believe sometimes people say things to hurt others on purpose because of their own need to feel like they are "better" than the person. Its foolishness!!

Exactly. People know when they're being rude. Some just feel they are entitled to say whatever they want with no repercussions.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

That's rude. But it's reasons like this I refuse to wear wigs.

I have to agree with you on this one....I don't wanna give the ignorant the satisfaction. If they wanna touch they can touch and see yes, this fully black girl has MBL hair and yes its all me....just so they can have an example in their life and not assume ridiculous things about other black girls.

That dude was so rude and mad bold. If that ever happened to me especially since I live in NY I would have looked at him quizzically fo a second and said OMIGOSH I get it now...you're the one I saw at the DragQueen karaoke last night right! OMG you sang I will survive amazing girl! This is all my hair but not to worry I can write down some beauty supply store recommendations for wigs.....I got you!!

And don't let him have a receding hairline I would have been like of course its all my hair.....did you want some recommendations on your impending baldness? Cuz I have some suggestions.......

 

[Almaz]

There was no reason in the world to say something like this. There is not enough that can be said for home training.

 

[ycj1]

I think you did do the appropriate thing with him and told him it was all yrs! He had no right to front you that way and ask you anything about yr hair, let alone the nerve to even open his stupid mouth! Whites in most cases especially think black women can't grow our hair just as long as any other races. I also think it's part of the media's protraile of what the average black women do to make our hair long! Now with everyone on tv giving everyone eles who is watching a glimpse of what and how we supposely make our hair long by adding to it. It's really no wonder why he asked! But still he was way out of line for that remark! All I have to say is that he is d... lucky it was you, and that you handled it like a lady would, and not one of the hood rats that would've definitely went the h... off and him and then some.

 

[bahamababe242]

he? you're sure? "she" sounds jealous

 

[BostonMaria]

Another reason why I hate Chris Rock now LOL

Sorry this happened to you OP. If it happens again I'd contact HR.

 

[CurlyMoo]

When people are this rude, I never engage them with denials or admitting anything. I immediately turn the tables and put them on the spot. I usually ask one or more of the following questions, "Why do you think it's appropriate to ask me that? Why are you being so rude? Why are you asking me rude questions? Do you have manners? Why do you feel it neccessary to make those kinds of comments? Why do people ask those kinds of rude questions, have you totally lost your manners? Is there a particular reason why you decided to wake up ugly today?"

The sad part about it is that they don't really think they are being rude or inappropriate. We have to remind them. You have to retrain these people and remind them of their manners. Some people will argue with you and try to figure out why you are so upset at their rude comments. These people just need to be ignored and asked to leave your space. Ladies keep your dignity don't let them determine your behavior. Folks think they know Black women now.

 

[lynnstar]

OP, I am so sorry that you had to experience the rudeness of an ignorant YT co-worker.

I know that today in a day of peace but I would make this an HR issue. This type of behavior is not to be tolerated by Black women (or anyone for that matter) in the workplace. To me it the same as if he made an inappropriate sexual comment.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Where did he get the idea that he could talk to you like that? At my first professional job I was the only person of color for 7 years and no one ever spoke inappropriate with me. For 1, I never played around with folks like that. I was straight professional all the time. When you joke and play around with folks every now and again they get too comfortable. In my work environment I stay friendly but I don't let folks get too comfortable because they might start talking or doing stupid things.

This right here has been my experience. In jobs where I hung out with co-workers and joked around with them, I started getting the hair and skin comments and questions. ALWAYS stay professional. Better for your sanity.

 

[mariofmagdal]

To think, there are those out there who can't understand why so many sistah's don't appreciate Chris Rock's flick, it lent itself to a whole other can of worms. People displaying their ignorance even more! SMH!

 

[Shay72]

*Blank stare* is what I would have given him. Sounds like he needs to grow up and get over himself.

 

[mariofmagdal]

Another reason why I hate Chris Rock now LOL

Sorry this happened to you OP. If it happens again I'd contact HR.

I hadn't read through the thread when I commented. My point exactly.

 

[doll-baby]

You know... Some people are just ignorant and they make a point to display just how ignorant they are every chance they get. I'm sorry that fool acted so insensitive towards you. It reminds me of my friend who told me about her BFF's experience at work. The BFF works at a bank and is a natural with a TWA. She works in a predominately yt area and her supervisor (a yt man) told her that her hair was causing too much of a distraction and asked her to change it so she now wears a wig to work.

 

[mscocoface]

The BIG DUMMY!

 

[Sade']

A__HOLE!!!!!!

 

[Black Ambrosia]

I don't understand. People need to be more careful in the workplace. What if someone has illness related hairloss and gets a wig (chemo, lupus, alopecia). They could be the victim of such rude behavior or be a witness to it. HR should address this so poeple don't feel comfortable making such comments all willy nilly.

No one ever talks about men wearing rugs at work and they have been doing this for ages!

That is the first thing that came to mind. If you were doing chemo no one would tolerate this but because people think Black women are vain and can't grow hair then it must be fake. If you were to question a white guy about his toupee then everyone there would think you had no class but they aren't thinking the same about that guy.

I work with a team of all men. There's 8 of us. Well one day this guy walks in and before he says hello he asks of my curly half wig is all my hair! You could hear a pin drop in the room! I was livid! I'm not good and being put on the spot like this because I bite back so I asked him, "did u just ask me what I THINK you asked me?!" He started turning really red & could tell he put his foot in his mouth. Then I said, "you are making me feel real uncomfortable." Then I just gave him the look. All the other guys started to look around like they couldn't believe what was happening. No man wants to be in a room with a woman when she starts talking about how she's uncomfortable and the only black woman. So dude trys to clean it up talking about how he was thinking about getting a weave himself. I just went back to working on my computer.
A few days later I am wearing a straight BSL half wig & in the break room he starts asking what I use to get my hair so shiney cause it looks a little "to perfect" as he put it. I rambled off my reggie & told him I know of some stuff that will take care of his balding issue. OMG is that silence I hear?! I did a hair flip and left the room.

Well played!

When people are this rude, I never engage them with denials or admitting anything. I immediately turn the tables and put them on the spot. I usually ask one or more of the following questions, "Why do you think it's appropriate to ask me that? Why are you being so rude? Why are you asking me rude questions? Do you have manners? Why do you feel it neccessary to make those kinds of comments? Why do people ask those kinds of rude questions, have you totally lost your manners? Is there a particular reason why you decided to wake up ugly today?"

The sad part about it is that they don't really think they are being rude or inappropriate. We have to remind them. You have to retrain these people and remind them of their manners. Some people will argue with you and try to figure out why you are so upset at their rude comments. These people just need to be ignored and asked to leave your space. Ladies keep your dignity don't let them determine your behavior. Folks think they know Black women now.

IMO, this is the best way to handle comments like that. Turning the tables is the only to make them feel just as uncomfortable as they've made you feel and then it dawns on them that maybe they were out of line.

 

[shenitab]

Some people just don't have any home training. Their mothers should have nipped that in the bud by age 4 or 5.

 

[casey3035]

I went to a party with my DH in ATL a few months back. I knew I would be the only black.I made sure I wore my own hair-because since the whole chris rock/Oprah thing people do think they can just ask!
So of course she asked in front of several people.She said she was told she had to care for her hair like blacks because her hair was dry.I told her yes this is all my hair-feel it-and she did.Then she said "so if I take care of my hair,will it grow too" I was like "of course everybodys hair grows"
Her hair is really short.I think she was sincere-but I was sooo glad I did not have on my half wig because all those people would not have believed I even had hair...LOL
But really it's no ones business-thats just how I choose to handle things when I know I will be around alot of whites-there is always one that is gonna try ya!

 

[longhairlover]

I know people may think my comment is petty but since you are the only brown person in your group if it happens again maybe you should bring this to the attention to hr.

In a way it is discrimination imo. I would never allow any non afro person to insult my hair natural, afro, relaxed whatever, it's offensive.

It's like what are you trying to say about me and my hair? you can say it's a cultural insult to you.

Don't be afraid to make a big deal out of this. non aa people think they know our culture and our hair because of a few little stupid fools like chris rock that felt the need to make a mockery of us, weaves and relaxers.

don't let people get away with being offensive because it is offensive.

 

[tmhuggiebear]

So this morning I am at work, sitting in my office, working on the computer, I normally wear my hair in twists and pulled back in a bun (see my avatar). However, feeling the need to up my Protective Styling I decided to start wearing wigs. I am fully natural, with thick full APL length hair. My wig is about the same length. It is probably BSL (so give or take a few inches)

Anyway, so one of my colleagues (YT) walks up to my office (granted he has never seen my hair straightened) and blurted out loudly (NOT YOURS)-- referring to my hair. Loud enough for my boss to hear and the other young lady that was with him (she had a smirk on her face when he made the comment). He then continues to say that's not your's it is? I said yes its all mine ( In my mind I was saying : I did buy it). Geez I cannot believe some people.

I started to feel like damn why do they think a sista cannot have hair that look this good. I am so PO, ...

He realized, by the look on my face that he just put his foot in his mouth and walked away.

FYI I am the only brown female in my group of 30

First of all, I just wanted to mention that I love how you refer to yourself as brown. I do the same thing and people always look at me wierd. I feel as though I black is not my skin color it is the color of my hair. My skin color is brown and I am proud of it.

Anyway back on topic, I hate ignorant people. And whether not the hair is on your head is yours or not there she be no shame in that. don't pay those simple minded people any attention.

 

[Kiki82]

I work with a team of all men. There's 8 of us. Well one day this guy walks in and before he says hello he asks of my curly half wig is all my hair! You could hear a pin drop in the room! I was livid! I'm not good and being put on the spot like this because I bite back so I asked him, "did u just ask me what I THINK you asked me?!" He started turning really red & could tell he put his foot in his mouth. Then I said, "you are making me feel real uncomfortable." Then I just gave him the look. All the other guys started to look around like they couldn't believe what was happening. No man wants to be in a room with a woman when she starts talking about how she's uncomfortable and the only black woman. So dude trys to clean it up talking about how he was thinking about getting a weave himself. I just went back to working on my computer.
A few days later I am wearing a straight BSL half wig & in the break room he starts asking what I use to get my hair so shiney cause it looks a little "to perfect" as he put it. I rambled off my reggie & told him I know of some stuff that will take care of his balding issue. OMG is that silence I hear?! I did a hair flip and left the room.

Serves him right!!!