ANGRY RANT: Inappropriate Comments about my hair at Work !!

[nappytherapy]

So this morning I am at work, sitting in my office, working on the computer, I normally wear my hair in twists and pulled back in a bun (see my avatar). However, feeling the need to up my Protective Styling I decided to start wearing wigs. I am fully natural, with thick full APL length hair. My wig is about the same length. It is probably BSL (so give or take a few inches)

Anyway, so one of my colleagues (YT) walks up to my office (granted he has never seen my hair straightened) and blurted out loudly (NOT YOURS)-- referring to my hair. Loud enough for my boss to hear and the other young lady that was with him (she had a smirk on her face when he made the comment). He then continues to say that's not your's it is? I said yes its all mine ( In my mind I was saying : I did buy it). Geez I cannot believe some people.

I started to feel like damn why do they think a sista cannot have hair that look this good. I am so PO, ...

He realized, by the look on my face that he just put his foot in his mouth and walked away.

FYI I am the only brown female in my group of 30

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Did he momentarily lose his mind? People are so rude.

 

[sharifeh]

That is soooo rude. I hope he apologizes for that.
I am so sorry.
grrrrrr

 

[teacherjess]

I work with ignorant YT types too and it is sad that they feel they need to do that. I can't tell you how many times something similar happened to me....just a shame

 

[pookaloo83]

I woulda said 'But my foot is gonna be up YOUR a$$ if you don't get up out my face.'

Some people are so rude and they think it's cute.

 

[melissa-bee]

That's rude. But it's reasons like this I refuse to wear wigs.

 

[orchidgirl]

Idiot..some people just love to be a pain to others...

 

[dlewis]

People are rude.

I wore my hair straighten after not wearing it straight for a long long time. I was MBL when I straighten it. I was in a meeting with about 7-8 contractors and my coworker comes in, looked shocked and asked something like "That's a nice weave, why are you wearing that weave". I must admit I was embarrassed. He's bald and I quickly told he "You wish this was a weave so I can get you one. Sorry dude it's all mine".

 

[Nubenap22]

I too work with people like that I either speak my mind or flip my hair ( wig0 and keep it movin bc they dont know me like that!!! I am know as a witch at work!!! But hey do you!!!

 

[angenoir]

You know people are so silly. Whether it is a wig or your hair, it is NEVER polite to make such comments to someone. I really believe sometimes people say things to hurt others on purpose because of their own need to feel like they are "better" than the person. Its foolishness!!

 

[danigurl18]

That is really rude! Some people have no home training

 

[mj11051]

Get some quarters and put them in a sock, next ignorant comment bop em. No need to thank me.

 

[BrownEyez22]

OP he was out of line. Sometimes ppl think they can say just anything that comes to mind.

I had a co-worker/ supervisor tell me my bun in my avatar was cute, but she "knew it wasn't mine." I corrected her and went back to my desk.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

OMG!! I would have been so angry. A colleague recently started to wear wigs (loose curl) and a woman in the office commented "Nice hair, is that a wig?" I shot her "the look" and she quickly apologized and walked away. She later apologized again at lunch.

I cannot believe some people!!!

 

[cmw45]

THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED in some shape or form! What he did was completely unacceptable. You might consider speaking to your boss about it or pulling him aside and speaking with him privately but this needs to be addressed. I don't know what your relationship with him is like (from what I read it is not close enough for him to have spoken to you in this manner) but he needs to be checked. I'm sure that if you made a similar comment about his cheap looking spray on tan, contacts, or the size of his tiny package that it would be dealt with immediately.

I am sorry this happened to you. You seemed to handle it in a professional manner. Lucky for them they had you because had it been me I think I would have done my damnedest to make him and the female co-worker feel the the size of a piss ant.

 

[Vintageglam]

Hell Naw - I would have whooped his behind into next week and went straight to HR....

Trust me it would have been "Naija Diva time" there and then.

He sounds like a real arsehole - WTH?

 

[BellaLunie]

ugh what a bag of Massengill! I think you need to have a talk with him. What's up with clear people getting extra bold lately? I've never had anyone IRL say something like this to me.

 

[dynamic1]

I don't understand. People need to be more careful in the workplace. What if someone has illness related hairloss and gets a wig (chemo, lupus, alopecia). They could be the victim of such rude behavior or be a witness to it. HR should address this so poeple don't feel comfortable making such comments all willy nilly.

No one ever talks about men wearing rugs at work and they have been doing this for ages!

 

[LittleMissScientist]

Does this guy suffer from Tourette's syndrome or what? Who just walks around blurting out observations or whatever thought comes to their head? Rude and poorly trained.

I'm sorry this happened, NT but you know what to do. Sometime in the next few weeks, use your preferred straightening method to achieve gorgeous, thick, "swangy" (lol!), LHCF-picture-worthy hair. On this particular day, make sure you walk around the office swinging and flipping your hair...running your fingers through it...pulling it up into a ponytail and letting it fall...putting it half up, half down. It would be best if there was a team meeting that day so everyone could see your hair in all its glory

You will feel awesome and whether or not this doofus says anything (he probably won't, since it's clear he's looking for some way to insult you or bring you down), it will be clear that you wear a wig because you want to, not because you need to.

Hugs

 

[darlingdiva]

That's rude. But it's reasons like this I refuse to wear wigs.

You shouldn't stop yourself from wearing wigs because some people have no tact. Just put them in their place.

 

[thehairmaverick]

You know people are so silly. Whether it is a wig or your hair, it is NEVER polite to make such comments to someone. I really believe sometimes people say things to hurt others on purpose because of their own need to feel like they are "better" than the person. Its foolishness!!

Yeah ITA...why else would there be a need to say something like that to anyone? And say it loudly at that!erplexed People are so low on themselves that they have to bring you down with them. If his work reflected excellence, he wouldn't be walking around with ignorance on the brain! Good grief, what is the workplace for? WORK! i digress...

 

[thehairmaverick]

I don't understand. People need to be more careful in the workplace. What if someone has illness related hairloss and gets a wig (chemo, lupus, alopecia). They could be the victim of such rude behavior or be a witness to it. HR should address this so poeple don't feel comfortable making such comments all willy nilly.

No one ever talks about men wearing rugs at work and they have been doing this for ages!

This hurts my heart i pray it never happens (but I'm sure it already has)

 

[nappytherapy]

You shouldn't stop yourself from wearing wigs because some people have no tact. Just put them in their place.

Thanks Ladies

At first I thought do I look that ghetto? I was just gonna scrap the wig thing. But I look in the mirror and the wig looks natural (its similar to bali girl). Its 1B so no crazy colors.

 

[amerAKAn_dream]

On this day of peace and harmony among all races, I would've had to scrap all that and tell him about himself!

How rude!!!

 

[yvette]

Why do people care? Most of all, why do MEN care? So what if it was your hair or a weave? What does that have to do with him?

Men and especially white ones are some of the nosiest creatures on the face of the earth.

 

[ThickHair]

Where did he get the idea that he could talk to you like that? At my first professional job I was the only person of color for 7 years and no one ever spoke inappropriate with me. For 1, I never played around with folks like that. I was straight professional all the time. When you joke and play around with folks every now and again they get too comfortable. In my work environment I stay friendly but I don't let folks get too comfortable because they might start talking or doing stupid things.

 

[wannabelong]

Why do people care? Most of all, why do MEN care? So what if it was your hair or a weave? What does that have to do with him?

Men and especially white ones are some of the nosiest creatures on the face of the earth.

ITA with the bolded. This is exactly what I was thinking. How is your wig affecting him? What a douche!

 

[Filmatic]

I would have gave him my signature stare of death until he felt uncomfortable. Then I would have said, " We are going to have a talk later." And later I would have cornered him. I'd have dude writing an apology to the whole office for his stupidity.

 

[beans4reezy]

People just don't know what to say. That was rude and tackless.

 

[Charlie555]

I work with a team of all men. There's 8 of us. Well one day this guy walks in and before he says hello he asks of my curly half wig is all my hair! You could hear a pin drop in the room! I was livid! I'm not good at being put on the spot like this because I bite back so I asked him, "did u just ask me what I THINK you asked me?!" He started turning really red & could tell he put his foot in his mouth. Then I said, "you are making me feel real uncomfortable." Then I just gave him the look. All the other guys started to look around like they couldn't believe what was happening. No man wants to be in a room with a woman when she starts talking about how she's uncomfortable and the only black woman. So dude trys to clean it up talking about how he was thinking about getting a weave himself. I just went back to working on my computer.
A few days later I am wearing a straight BSL half wig & in the break room he starts asking what I use to get my hair so shiney cause it looks a little "to perfect" as he put it. I rambled off my reggie & told him I know of some stuff that will take care of his balding issue. OMG is that silence I hear?! I did a hair flip and left the room.

ETA: I had on the same wig as in my avatar. I get lots of compliments on how natural it looks from family. So this guy was fishing for something to say.